Chapter Seven
Kieran Sullivan is going to see my apartment.
Somehow that singular thought was more terrifying than the idea of having sex with him. Or maybe it was easier to have an existential crisis about her home rather than staring down the reality of Kieran seeing her naked.
He wants to do more than see you.
Specifically, he wanted to fuck her. Which begged the question, how long had that been a thing?
She might have been undressing him with her gaze the first time she met him, but he’d always been clear she was little more than an annoyance.
Then again, you didn’t have to like someone to sleep with them.
It’s just sex, Vovik had said when he cheated. It doesn’t mean anything.
She glanced at Kieran, unable to read his one-handed grip on the steering wheel. He was as relaxed as could be. Maybe he’d done this sort of thing before.
Hell, maybe he did it a lot.
Heat burned in Lily’s cheeks, and she tucked her hands under her thighs against the worn passenger seat of his Jeep. Because of course he owned a soft-top Jeep. Hot guy. Hot car. It made sense.
What didn’t fit the image was the booster seat smooshed into the tiny back seat or the basketball shoes and ball falling out of a gym bag on the floor. “Do you play?”
Kieran glanced from the road to his rearview mirror, but his attention never wavered for long. He certainly had experience driving in the city. “No, I’ve always been a fighter. Wrestling, then MMA. Danny plays basketball on his high school’s team.”
And if his things were in Kieran’s car, Kieran drove Danny to practice and games. The car seat must have been Saoirse’s.
No wonder he wasn’t looking for anything serious. He was playing the role of dad for his brother and, in part, his niece.
“Where can I park?” he asked as they approached her home.
“There’s a garage around the corner.”
They walked to her apartment, and Lily’s mind was anything but quiet.
What if he was judgy about the dishes she’d left in her sink?
Maybe the whole studio setup of having a bed only feet away from the kitchen island would kill the mood.
Hell, maybe she’d kill the mood. She’d worked so hard to gain precious fat and muscle.
What if he got her naked and didn’t like what he saw?
Once in her hall, the drastic differences between their living arrangements dragged at Lily like a riptide. He had a nice, two-story corner home with a fenced backyard. Meanwhile, the third floor of her apartment building smelled like—actually, she didn’t want to think about what it smelled like.
She unlocked her door and ushered Kieran inside before she could change her mind. Closing the door shut out the world, finally silencing her mind, and Lily released a deep breath before hanging up her purse on a hook by the entry.
Kieran already had his boots off and lined up by the door, and he now explored her apartment.
There wasn’t much to it. Upon entering, there was a closet-size bathroom with a standing shower to the left.
Across from that was her kitchen, featuring a small stove, a two-door under-the-counter refrigerator and a sink.
The island doubled as a counter and seating space.
Beyond that, really, was just her bed—with its lovely, thrifted wooden frame, courtesy of her first paycheck from the gym. There wasn’t much one could fit in a three hundred square foot apartment. Where others may have put a sofa, Lily had a vanity, shoe rack and clothing rack.
But Kieran didn’t linger around the small space inspecting for dust or dishes. He ambled toward the wall that housed her bed, taking his time appreciating each and every photo she’d framed.
“Was this your college team?” he asked, pointing at a photo of her and twenty other girls all in St. Francis Saints uniforms.
“Yep, from my junior year. We made it to nationals that spring.” Lily grabbed a matchbook from a kitchen drawer and lit a lilac-scented candle on the counter.
“And this girl—” he pointed to a five-photo collage, each featuring a picture of Lily with Natalia “—she’s in a lot of your videos.”
Lily grabbed two ciders from her fridge and joined Kieran, passing him one bottle. “Nat. She’s my best friend in the entire world, has been since we were five. I would die if anything ever happened to her.”
“So, if I ever want to take you out of commission, I just need to get rid of Nat.” Kieran sipped his cider, his dark eyes blazing with mischief. “Good to know.”
Flicking Kieran’s chest, Lily walked past him and continued pointing out photos.
It was far easier to talk about her friends than herself.
“This is Alex. I met him in college because we both minored in mass communication. He’s wonderful and ridiculous.
And this is Ilya.” She motioned toward a photo of her two friends, arm in arm, mid-dance at Natalia’s wedding.
“That’s from when Nat and Jack got married.
My ex and I were in a disagreement of sorts at the time, so his cousin Ilya agreed to be my date. Alex promptly stole him.”
She spun on her heel and faced Kieran, clasping both hands around her bottle if only to give them something to do. “I kept Ilya in the breakup.”
He nodded and glanced around, as if searching for something misplaced. “None with your parents? Siblings?”
Lily took a swig of cider and shook her head. “Don’t have any.”
“You’re an orphan?”
“Didn’t say that.” When had this conversation turned so personal? Taking a trip down memory lane with Kieran wasn’t on the itinerary. The fact of the matter was, she knew almost nothing about him, and he knew almost nothing about her, and that was perfect. Her past would only disappoint him.
She set her cider on the island and stepped into Kieran’s space, spreading her hands up from his chest and over his shoulders. “Enough about me. You came here for sex.”
A scoff rumbled from Kieran’s chest. “This is entirely about you. I’m here to help you scratch an itch. An itch that is much easier to reach if you’re relaxed.”
Lily scowled, then pouted. “I just, I don’t know. I thought we’d be naked by now.”
Kieran laughed and looped an arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest. “Impatient, are we?”
“No.” A blush flamed up Lily’s neck, and she focused her attention on the cut of Kieran’s collar, visible through the V-neck of his tee. A golden pendant he’d never worn at the gym shimmered in the sunlight. “In the movies they always stumble through the door kissing and fall right into bed.”
“I’d guess the stumbling is because they’re drunk.” He traced small circles against her back with his thumb—slow and tender. “Haven’t you had a hookup before?”
Her blush swarmed her entire face. She shook her head. No. For better or for worse, she’d believed Vovik would be her one and only.
Those little circles hiccupped for a fraction of a moment. “I guess you really did want to marry that guy.”
Marry him. Spend her life with him. Give him all she was, even if he couldn’t give himself in return. Her stomach twisted.
“Nope, nuh-uh.” Lily stepped back, pinning Kieran with her gaze. “Let’s set some ground rules. Number one, no talking about our pasts.”
Sharing pieces of themselves encouraged feelings, and that was the last thing Lily wanted.
“Okay.” He nodded. “Number two, you have to tell me what you want.” He shuffled back, set his cider down and tugged his shirt off over his head, leaving his glorious torso on display.
The sight of him shirtless short-circuited her doubts. It was all she could do to tear her attention away from the sharp cut of muscles over his jeans and back to his eyes. They were warmer in the natural light from her window—like the center of a sunflower. Lush brown and focused.
She took her hat off and tossed it toward her vanity. “Three: no attachments.” It was a promise to herself as much as a boundary.
“Absolutely.” He undid his belt buckle and stepped out of his jeans and socks with an agonizing slowness that made her heartbeat skip. “Four: we keep this low-key.”
Lily nodded and blew out a breath. Kieran didn’t skip leg day, but seeing and believing were two very different things. He could have been a reference model for the statue of David. And the way his cock strained against the confines of his skintight boxer shorts? It was sinful.
She swallowed heavily, her mouth dry. “You’re like, stupid hot. You know that, right?”
Kieran grinned and stepped forward. His hands framed her face, tucking away her hair before coming back to cradle her jaw as if she was something precious. “And you’re gorgeous.”
His kiss was soft, gentle even, and shuttered her breath within her. Her legs turned to jelly, and she might have fallen if not for Kieran’s arm dropping and winding around her waist, pinning her against him. She could taste the smokey whiskey and cider on his tongue, and it set her mind spinning.
Kieran was kissing her. Really kissing her. Not a chaste peck hello or midnight tradition. His tongue curled against hers, unlocking memory and long-buried desire.
A familiar heat settled low in her belly. She raised her hands from her sides and timidly followed the lines of Kieran’s obliques around to his back. She molded herself to him, holding on like he was a buoy in a storm.
Maybe he was.
He abandoned his caress to gather the hem of her dress in his hands before sliding it down her body, never breaking their kiss.
A full-body shiver trembled through Lily when her nipples touched his bare skin. His heat caressed and enveloped her.
Kieran groaned into her mouth and drew back just enough to let his words ghost across her lips. “No bra? You’re killing me.”
“It’s built into the dress,” she whispered, nipping the corner of his mouth.