Chapter Ten
When Lily’s name appeared on his phone screen, he hadn’t expected to hear her best friend’s voice. He’d heard it often enough from Lily’s personal account on Hit It when the two got ready to go dancing. Not that he made a habit of watching her personal videos.
Agreeing to an outing with Lily was easy enough in the moment but not so much once he got off the phone.
Maeve had the day off, so he didn’t need to worry about Saoirse, but he still had Danny.
At fifteen, he should’ve been able to handle being home alone for a few hours, but that was asking a lot of his brother, apparently.
Kieran cracked his knuckles, the sound too loud in the claustrophobic hallway leading to her apartment door.
When he’d knocked, Lily had called out, letting him know she’d be ready in just a moment.
A too familiar acrid, earthy scent drifted from one end of the hall while a fishy scent crept closer from the other side.
The overall effect made his stomach pitch.
Was her pay at South Side MMA enough to get her into a better apartment complex?
He eyed a splintering crack in the drywall stemming from her door frame. This place was a death trap.
Lily’s door swung inward and took with it his ability to speak.
She’d chosen a seasoned pair of brown hiking shoes.
He took his time following the length of her legs up to frayed jean shorts a few inches shy of being Daisy Dukes.
Under her plaid button-down was a blue cami, its cropped hem exposing the majority of her sun-kissed belly.
It wasn’t long ago he’d kissed and nipped his way down that smooth expanse of skin.
He could spare a few minutes. He didn’t need long to get her sighing like before.
“You’re going to give me quite the ego if you keep looking at me like that,” she teased, breaking him from his stare. She hiked her backpack over her shoulder and tugged her twin French braids free from the straps.
She’d forgone makeup, probably because she’d sweat it off. Even without the minimal makeup she tended to wear, she was beautiful. Mascara called more attention to her eyes, but without it there was something softer about her. Exposed.
Kieran cleared his throat and stepped out of her way. “Do you want me to stop looking at you like that?”
Lily’s smile was too quick to appear before she could turn to lock up. “Only when we’re on the clock.”
The gym. Right. This wasn’t a date. Not really. It couldn’t be, anyway. Not with the turn his morning had taken. “About that,” he began and shortened his stride to match Lily’s as they headed downstairs. “Remember how we said we’d keep this low-key?” He gestured between them both with a finger.
Lily’s eyes widened, and she gripped her backpack straps. “I’m sorry. Nat’s a menace to society. I shouldn’t have let her call you.”
The fervor of her apology and the splash of pink creeping from her neckline surprised a laugh out of him.
Lily stopped on the landing of the stairs as if his laugh had shocked her to stillness.
“No, it’s not about Natalia.” He urged her forward with a light touch at the small of her back.
“I caught a visitor sneaking out of my brother’s room this morning, and well…
” He opened the door for her as they exited the building.
“I figured having to spend the day with me would be punishment enough.”
Sitting in the back of his Jeep with a permanent scowl on his young face was Danny.
* * *
The trouble with having his brother along for the hike was that any hopes he might’ve had regarding spending time alone with Lily were dashed.
Part of his deal with Lily had been motivated by his need to protect Danny.
The kid didn’t need to see a revolving door of women, which was why Kieran never brought women home.
Why he hadn’t invited Lily to his place.
Still, it was hard not to watch Lily’s hamstrings flex as she descended the wooden stairs to their first canyon at Starved Rock—LaSalle Canyon.
They’d parked on the eastern end of the park to avoid the crowds, since most people stuck to trails close to the lodge.
Only those familiar with the park or those with an entire day to spend hiking ventured out this far.
Less crowds meant more time to linger in the canyon and on the overlooks and trails. Just how he liked it.
Despite being a city girl with a penchant for frothy coffees, Lily looked right at home among the vibrant green foliage surrounding their trail.
If she wasn’t a selkie, she might just be some woodland fae.
Kieran chuckled. If only his grandfather had known how those childhood stories would haunt him.
As if she’d known he was thinking about her, Lily tossed him a grin—a real one. The sunlight streamed through the leaves, freckling her face. She was so beautiful, he wasn’t convinced she wasn’t from Tír na nóg—the land of the young. Surely only a faerie could mesmerize him as she did.
“I’ve never been to this part of the park.”
Kieran turned his baseball cap so the bill covered the back of his neck and shrugged. “I figured you’d get better footage for your videos down this way.” Doubtful anyone would be looking at the canyon with Lily in the video.
He retrieved his phone out of his back pocket and aimed the camera at Lily. He wanted to remember this moment. Lily’s wide-eyed wonder. The eagerness with which she peered over each overlook as they descended into the canyon. Away from the city, Lily came alive.
Danny shot him a glare. “What was it you were saying about getting off my phone and enjoying nature?”
“Lily’s an adult who can balance enjoying time in nature and recording it for her job.
” Kieran shoved his phone back into his pocket and dropped his gaze to his feet to avoid any missteps on the narrow staircase, but he didn’t stop tracking Lily’s and Danny’s unique footfalls.
As long as he could hear both, they were safe.
“And if you keep whining about not having your phone, I’ll extend your punishment for another week. ”
That shut his brother up, though it wasn’t exactly an improvement. If Danny was in a bad mood, everyone suffered.
Once they got to the bottom of the stairs, Lily stopped and grabbed her water bottle from her bag. As she drank, a bead of water escaped her lips and trickled down her neck. It welled in the hollow of her throat just above her collarbone, and Kieran imagined gathering it on his tongue.
“Hey, Danny. Want to film a Hit It video with me?”
Lily’s question helped Kieran tear his gaze away. Fuck, he needed to get laid again.
Danny tried not to look interested as he shoved his hands into his basketball shorts pockets. “I don’t know. What were you thinking of doing?”
Lily removed her phone from her back pocket and thumbed her screen until a video popped up. “Maybe something like this? I thought if we stood behind the waterfall, our silhouettes would make a pretty cool contrast.”
Kieran waited for some smart-ass reply but none came.
Danny led the way into the canyon until they arrived at a small waterfall. He set his stuff down near the bowl-like curve of the canyon wall and ran his fingers through his hair. “You gonna tag me in the video?”
“With your consent, of course.” Lily hesitated as she set her own bag down. “And with your brother’s consent. He’s your legal guardian.”
Danny scoffed. “I’m not a kid. I don’t need his permission to be on Hit It.”
He definitely was a kid, and he most definitely did need Kieran’s permission considering Danny was a minor. Kieran grabbed a protein bar from his back pocket and settled on the canyon floor. “How about I let you do the video, and we’ll pretend you didn’t just act like a spoiled brat.”
Lily shook her head and worked on setting up her ring light stand.
In seconds, her phone was mounted, and the ring light remained off.
After they shot a few takes and tried a couple different trends, Lily and Danny settled in with him for a snack break.
He’d packed enough for all of them and had a cold thermos for extra water.
For the first time during the hike, a comfortable silence surrounded them, broken only by birdsong and the quiet roar of the waterfall.
The last time he’d taken Danny hiking was back when Shauna was still living at home, but since Danny had gotten into school sports, their limited amount of free time outside of the MMA training had disappeared.
Now it was all Kieran could do to get a hello out of his brother.
Lily didn’t seem to have any trouble. She sat with Danny, animated and attentive.
Wow, the kid was capable of smiling. Lily glanced toward Kieran, and something in her smile coaxed one out of him.
If things were different, he would’ve sat beside her and kissed her.
Told her he liked the way her baby hairs haloed around her face and the ease with which she interacted with even the surliest of kids.
But things weren’t different. He was a stand-in dad for his siblings.
Lily was his coworker and was single-handedly revitalizing the gym.
He couldn’t risk jeopardizing her. Neal deserved better than that.
Their arrangement called for no strings and no one knowing too much of what happened behind the scenes.
Kieran wasn’t a gambling man, and Lily was a risk he couldn’t afford.
They ventured next to the Sandstone Point Overlook where they were treated to an open view of the Illinois River lined by green-leafed oaks and maples.
The white and pink petals of dogwoods peeked from the understory in small bursts of color.
Kieran hung back, content to enjoy the view from a safe distance, but Lily approached the edge of the bluff. Danny followed.
His stomach twisted. Why didn’t this overlook have some kind of railed observation deck like the rest?
Dammit, now he was obligated to join them.
He shuffled closer. Lily stepped back and lifted her phone to take a picture of Danny.
His brother tilted his head back with hooded eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets.
Must be the new cool guy pose. It looked ridiculous on his kid brother.
“Come on, relax,” she called, a laugh in her voice. “Act like you’re fifteen instead of going on twenty.”
Danny scratched the back of his neck, suddenly self-conscious. “You’ll laugh.”
“Of course, I will.” Lily lifted her phone again as Kieran appeared at her side. “And you will, too.” She snuck a glance at Kieran, her lips tilted up in a mischievous grin. “I swear, you Sullivans need to learn to have fun.”
Her words were meant for Danny, but they sank into his skin like well-intentioned shrapnel. She didn’t know having fun had never been easy. Sometimes when he woke, he had to remind himself he wasn’t still stuck in that mold-infested mobile home.
Through the screen, he watched Danny drop into some ridiculous superhero pose, one leg to the side, one hand down, and one hand up.
“Got it!” Lily called.
Danny hopped to his feet with a carefree laugh. “One more, one more!” He stood on one foot and started dancing, but somewhere in the movement his balance tipped beyond recovery.
Terror shredded Kieran’s veins, and he sprang forward.
Danny’s body hit the ground, too close to the bluff’s edge.
His heart was in his throat, choking him. Danny was still on the overlook. He was safe.
But all Kieran could see was what could have happened. His brother falling, falling, falling. What he would have found over the ledge. A broken body staring up with sightless eyes.
“What is wrong with you!?” His pulse beat like a drum through his body as he hauled his brother away from the overlook.
“I was just messing around. I—”
“You could’ve died, dumbass!” Kieran shoved Danny back toward the main path. He followed after him, pointing an accusing finger at his brother. “What part of dancing on the edge of a fucking cliff sounded intelligent to you?”
Danny puffed up. “I wasn’t thinking, okay?”
“Of course, you weren’t thinking!” Kieran seethed and threw his hat to the ground. “You’re never thinking. I give you a home, and you sneak girls into it. I give you stability, and you sneer at it. I give up everything for you, and you act like I single-handedly ruined your life.”
A familiar fury emblazoned Danny’s blue eyes.
It was the same hate he’d seen flash across their father’s eyes the few times the man had been lucid enough to remember why he was so damn miserable.
“You did ruin my life. You’re the reason Dad never came back.
If you’d just left me in the group home, he would’ve come back for me.
He would’ve been forced to. The State woulda made him. ”
“The State wouldn’t have done shit. Do you not get it? Brennan was never going to come back. He didn’t want us.” Kieran clenched his hands at his sides. “When are you going to get it through your thick skull?”
Lily stepped between them, her back to Danny. She stared up at Kieran with arctic-blue eyes. She didn’t say anything, but her gaze dropped first to his clenched hands and then lifted to his chest. Her palm, now trembling, settled over his sternum—soft, but firm. Stop.
Awareness crowded his senses. His chest heaved on short breaths. His jaw ached. To an onlooker, he probably looked like he was about to beat the shit out of his kid brother. But he’d never go that far. He wasn’t like Brennan.
But Brennan had called Kieran a dumbass. Had insulted his intelligence more than enough times to gaslight him into thinking it was his fault Brennan was the way he was.
Self-loathing burned the back of Kieran’s throat as he turned away. “We should head back.”