Chapter Twenty-Three
Raven .
Tuesday afternoon after my last class, I head to the library to get a book on Charles Cullen.
Jonas is outside, getting us our espressos since we’re going to need the caffeine to go to the wake later.
I’m in the biography section when two very familiar toned arms wrap around my waist, then lower onto my hips.
His nose rubs along the shell of my ear, his breath is warm and it sends shivers everywhere. “Is this where you hide?”
I turn to face him, my tormentor, whose peridot gaze lingers on my lips before meeting my eyes.
Fuck he smells so fucking good. I take a step backward and my spine hits the shelves.
His hands drop to my thighs, reaching lower to the hem of my skirt, pulling it up as though we’re not in public.
Warmth pools between my thighs at the thought of being caught with my professor’s hands under my skirt.
“I… ordered that book we were reading at your lake house. It’s… interesting to say the least.”
I nod once. Of course it is, it’s about a five-hundred-year-old vampire queen that finally gives in to fate and fucks all of her mates.
He kisses just below my ear, we’re so close, the low thrum of students walking and studying just two stories below… fuck, if he moved his fingers just a little higher… “I worried about you.” He sighs, “I’ve never worried for someone before, Siren… what are you doing to me? Hmm?”
He licks, nipping at my skin, his fingertips tracing small circles on my outer thighs - I hear footsteps coming so I shake my head at him to shut him up and push him a little.
Even through the fabric of his button-down his skin is hot.
It’s so hot and I want to touch him without it. But not here. Not now.
Kinsley MacNamara runs past us, all golden hair, and rays of sunshine.
Her skirt is hiked up and the top three buttons of her shirt are unbuttoned.
“ Oh! Professor Harrington , you’re still here, good.
I had a few questions about the debate?” She flirts with a high-pitched voice that sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
Ugh.
“It’s a debate Kinsley.” He answers in a sharp, annoyed tone.
Her eyes find mine and she smiles wickedly. “What are you doing here, mute ? God, go be creepy somewhere else.” So much for being a ray of fucking sunshine. “Oh, unless this is where you haunt?”
“Kinsley! Do not speak to her like that.”
She giggles, ignoring him. “My mother said your own mother said you’re just like a creepy little broken doll. Always staring. You freak your own family out so much Sofia doesn’t even want to be seen with you in public.”
I know. I take a step toward her, extending my arm and… grab the book I was looking for from behind her.
“Raven, I-"
“She’s a lost cause, professor. Even her brother thinks so. Anyway-"
I leave them behind and find Jonas waiting for me downstairs. “You okay, baby?”
I peek up at the third floor to see Maverick glaring down at me. I fix my focus back to Jonas, nod, smile, tip on my toes and give him a simple kiss.
“Sofia doesn’t even want to be seen with you in public.”
I let the comment slide off my shoulders. I don’t have time to dwell on things I already know.
After I check out the biography I need, we go to our separate dorms, which he then comes into mine, fucks me in the shower, and we get ready for the wake together, only for him to try to fuck me in my little black romper with long lace sleeves and a deep V neckline.
I purchased it a long time ago because it had secret pockets sown in.
“I’m going to burn this thing. I hate it. It’s a goddamn cockblock.” I smile and get on my knees for him instead. “Fuck, I love you.”
He finishes just in time as Axel knocks on my door when I’m refreshing my lipstick. I grab my double-breasted cloak overcoat that hides my hands. While Jonas is greeting Axel, I put a balaclava in my pocket. Kinsley’s comment had given me an idea.
“Creepy little doll… Ghost… Spooks… Specter… Mute.”
The driver opens the door to the Lincoln Limousine and I almost fall on my ass when I see John and Sofia Monroe waiting for us.
She’s as beautiful as ever, my mother. Stark green eyes and flawless skin.
Looking at her breaks my heart because when she looks at me…
her eyes don’t shine like they used to. Now she looks at me with an indifference like I am a ghost.
But I’m your ghost, mama. I’m your munequita, mama. Your doll. Remember? Remember when I’d dress up in your closet and prance around in your shoes that were too big for me and you would do my makeup so we could hide from papa a little longer? Mama, por favor! I want to scream.
“Baby you okay?”
She looks behind me as I take my seat by the window. “Jonas, how lovely to see you. Our children never mentioned you’d be joining us.”
“Well, as if Raven would have, Sofia.” John retorts with a cool smile that doesn’t meet his own green eyes. Out of the two of us, Axel looks more like their child than I do.
I shift in my seat uncomfortably and clench my hand into a fist under my overcoat and Jonas scoots closer to me.
“It’s alright, mi amor, I’m sure this was all last-minute details.” She says with a pinched smile. “I’m glad you covered those thighs of yours, mija.”
I look at the window and let the scenery pass me by, letting the forced conversation flow around me like it always does. A ghost. A specter. A doll with perfect hair, a few chinks in the porcelain and glass eyes forgotten in the corner of the room.
_____ _
The wake is at Grimm & Sons.
I love it.
Repulsive, I know, but something about this place gives Dracula vibes with the heavy black velvet curtains, retro sconces on the walls, the black and red paisley patterned carpet, the deep red chairs, the casket sits on a dais, with white and deep blood-red roses and actual candles with flames dancing placed around it.
It looks ritualistic.
I’m on Jonas' arm, my hand curled around his bicep, happy I decided to go with ballet flats instead of my stilettos. I was expecting to see a lot of familiar faces but I wasn’t expecting hers.
Sabrina is by the bar in a dark berry power suit and sharp black heels and she almost runs to me. I clutch Jonas' arm so tightly I could probably tear through his jacket.
“Oh my god it’s really you.” Her slight English accent still sounds exactly the same. She forces me into a hug and my entire body goes rigid. Jonas lightly pushes her off me. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Oh, Raven, is that really you?”
My vision blurs. That voice .
“Oh, it’s so good to see you.” Ashleigh says, her own hand tight on Thadd's bicep.
“You aren’t getting out of here alive, bitch.”
Music begins to play, but nobody takes their seats. I look around, seemingly nobody else hears it. The melody it’s…
“Are you okay, Ray?” Ashleigh asks.
Louder. It’s getting, so loud.
“C'mon, Ash, let’s go take our seats. Jonas. Raven.” Thadd says and my brains feels itchy. “Brina, your father is over by Mr. Hamilton. We should say hello.”
“I don’t need your money, I need you to die.”
“Yeah… erm… okay. Raven it was… lovely to see you.” She answers but it’s all muffled. The fucking music. I stare after Ashleigh who's peeking over her shoulder at me.
“Baby? You okay?” The music stops, zapping me back to life .
No, my brain is on fire, I want to say but nod instead.
“Oh, let’s go say hi to my parents.”
And then I meet Jonas' parents. A very kind couple that look at Jonas as if he’s hung the moon. Elena Anderson, lovely as can be with red hair and green eyes, pulls me in immediately. “Oh, darling! We’ve heard so much about you! Oh, I love your overcoat. Where did you get this? I must have one!”
I can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of my lips.
I keep my hands low and sign to Jonas. But Elena surprises me.
“Oh yes! I saw this in their catalog! We must go shopping, darling you have impeccable taste. I should know, you’re dating my son.
” She winks with a giggle and her laugh fills me up.
It feels like… a mug of hot chocolate after you’ve been playing in the snow all day. “Henry!”
“Yes dear?”
“Look at how beautiful she is!”
“Yes dear, I have eyes. Good job, son.” Jonas laughs at his father, pride shining in his eyes. He bites his lower lip and waggles his eyebrows at me. It’s incredible how similar they look.
“Oh, and this overcoat, Henry!”
“Yes, dear. It sounds like another shopping trip in Paris is in our immediate future… again.”
Elena winks at me like we’re sharing an inside joke. “You must go with us! Oh, we have a penthouse overlooking the Sienne. You’d love it!”
It sounds lovely. I sign and she squeezes my arm. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone. I’d love it if you’d have me.
“Oh, darling, of course we’d have you. Our homes are so lonely these days, with Jonas being at university.”
“Mom.”
He calls her mom .
This time, the music really does begin to play. “Oh, darling, don’t be a stranger, please. I’d love to have you and Jonas over for dinner. What’s your favorite food?”
“ Mom .”
“Yes, darling, yes.” Elena kisses my cheek and for some reason, I hope she left a lipstick stain on there the way Sofia used to. Proof I was loved once.
God, my mommy issues are so fucked .
Jonas delivers me to Axel while bending to murmur “As soon as I told her you were signing, she took an ASL course.”
My heart melts, not allowing myself to think that Sofia never showed up to mine. It was only Axel.
Axel guides me by the elbow to sit between him and John and Axel drapes his arm around my shoulder.
People go up, one by one, telling stories of Tyler, unsurprisingly all of them took place before his scandal.
It’s when Riordan gets up on the podium that I keep my head down, slinking a little further down in my seat.
“Tyler… wasn’t perfect. He had flaws and… ”