Chapter 4

No one came to wake me up, so I slept in until 10 o’clock in the morning. The heat from the sun made the pile of blankets and pillows I had burrowed under uncomfortably warm. After taking another soak in the bathtub, this time using honeysuckle bath oil, I felt refreshed and ready to face the day. Leaving my hair down in its natural state, I put on a casual dress and my most comfortable pair of shoes.

It was unusually warm for the end of January in Chicago, so I decided to take advantage. Claire told me about a park that was within walking distance of the house. She had insisted I wait until either Marco or Russel could accompany me, but I left as soon as she made her way to find one of them. I wanted to enjoy the radiant day in solitude.

I made it to the park as the sun hit its peak, giving everything a look of happiness that made me smile. The grass was still brown, and no leaves hung from trees or blooms on flowers, but I didn’t mind. The fresh air felt amazing as it filled my lungs, helping melt away the last few days.

I merrily walked along when I heard a cough behind me. For some odd reason it sounded familiar. Slowly turning my body towards the noise, I was shocked to find Emmett standing there, in the middle of the same park I had been enjoying.

“Oh, it’s you,” I said with indifference as I turned back around to walk away. I could hear Emmett’s hurried footsteps trying to catch up to me. I kept walking without offering him a glance back.

“I deserve that. I was an asshole to you last night and I’m sorry.” He was now at my side, keeping my pace, a little out of breath. I contemplated running to get away from him. I didn’t want to see or talk to him after the way he treated me the last hour we spent together the previous night.

“Don’t worry yourself about it, I know I’m not.” I hoped my words didn’t betray the feelings that still hurt. He grabbed my wrist to stop me from walking away. His face filled with regret as I faced him.

“I am worrying myself. I want to explain my actions if you’ll let me.” I crossed my arms in front of me, wishing I was stronger in my resolve, but there was something in his eyes that made me want to hear what he had to say.

“Fine. If it will make you feel better. Explain.” I stood there in annoyance as if this was a huge inconvenience to me. Don’t get me wrong, it was, but at the same time I so desperately wanted to know his thoughts. My biggest flaw was wanting to know what made people act the way that they did. Always wanting to know what made someone tick.

“I like you,” he said, his face getting a little red. Embarrassed, he was embarrassed that he liked me.

“So, you’re an asshole to everyone you like?” What kind of answer was that? I was now angrier than I had been. “Thank you for clearing that up. Now I’ll be able to sleep better tonight.” I threw every bit of anger into my sarcastic remarks. He was going to say something, opening his mouth then closing it, the wheels turning in his head.

“You didn’t sleep well last night because of me?” There was a little sadness in his eyes, but his words suggested he liked the thought of me losing sleep over him. I refused to give him the satisfaction that he had any effect on my feelings.

“I slept wonderfully. In fact, I was sleeping before my head even hit my pillow.” I started walking away, my heels clicking on the sidewalk. I was thankful to be wearing my worn in shoes for my walk today; I didn’t think my sore feet could handle another full day in constricting high heels.

Emmett caught back up to me. “When I said I liked you, I didn’t mean I liked you, so I treated you badly. I treated you badly because I like you.”

“Well, that clears things up.” I shook my head and kept walking. Emmett stepped in front of me so quickly I almost ran into him.

I stopped walking as he explained, “I tend to push people that I like away. It’s a bad habit. I want to try to break that habit with you.” I could see the truth in his chestnut eyes pleading with mine to believe him. He extended his hand in a handshake. “Friends?” There was an edge to his voice, but I couldn’t place why.

I took his hand in mine, still a little leery as I said, “Friends.” We shook hands, both forgetting that he had injured his hand, making him let out a little, “Ouch,” as he recoiled from my grasp, wincing in pain.

“Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” I felt horrible about hurting his hand. It had been quite bruised last night so I’m sure it had turned into a darker purple by this afternoon when it finally settled in. He shook his hand out in hopes that it would help alleviate some of the pain.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m no worse for the wear.” He wore a small, reassuring smile.

We walked side by side in amiable silence for so long the warmth of the sun started dissipating into a cool breeze. My loose hair started lightly whipping around my face, forcing me to try wrangling it in. I should have put it up before I left the house. Emmett saw me struggling with the loose tresses.

“I’m glad you left your hair down. It smells good.” He leaned in closer to get a better smell.

The gesture made me grin. “I used lavender oil in my bath when I got home and honeysuckle in my morning bath.” As I said the word ‘bath’ Emmett’s eyes raked across my body, up and down. There was a want in his dark eyes that he tried to cover up, but I caught that millisecond he let it lapse.

“I really should be getting home.” I realized how late it was and it would be dark soon. It occurred to me that I tried to ignore Emmett so much, I had forgotten where we had turned on the path in the park. “It seems I can’t remember the way we came, though.” My head swiveled about, analyzing the trails from where we were standing. I was hoping he knew the way and I wouldn’t have to ask him, having him conclude I was lost.

“It would be my pleasure to walk you home.” He held out his arm, waiting for me to take it. The heat radiated off Emmett’s arm as I took it, making me move in a little closer for the warmth. He was just escorting me home from the park; I couldn’t read too much into this. He was being nice.

We were once again walking in silence when I looked over to see Emmett’s face was askew. As I tried to read his expression, he shakily said, “We’re friends now, correct?” He was looking straight ahead, not even glancing at me as he spoke.

“I think we’ve established that.” I wondered where this line of questioning was going. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought maybe his face had been one of embarrassment.

My suspicion was confirmed as he continued, “May I ask you about something you said last night?” His cheeks took on a slight pink hue. I don’t think the change to his cheek coloring had anything to do with the cooler winter air approaching.

“Yes?” I said warily, more of a question than a definitive ‘Yes’. Scared of what the question would be, but more curious as to what could make this man, who seems to be cool under pressure, blush.

Emmett cleared his throat, buying him some time to get the courage to ask his burning question. His cheeks were turning a deeper shade of pink verging on red. One more cough was what stood between him and his question. “When you said you no longer had your virtue…” he trailed off.

I relished this moment. I knew where this was going, and you best believe I wasn’t going to just give away the answer he so desperately wanted to know. Him risking the foreign territory of embarrassment to get it somehow made this exchange that much sweeter.

“You’re going to make me ask?” He caught on quick. The little bit of desperation, pleading in his voice, for me to put him out of his misery, made him endearing. The man that I saw behind the bar last night, effortlessly taking command of the room, was now stumbling over his words. It was cute, which was never a word I would have used to describe Emmett. He was a million other things: strong, confident, handsome beyond measure, charismatic, but cute? It was at that moment I figured out that he never let people see that side of him. He still was going to have to work for my answer.

“Absolutely!” I smiled as the word left my lips, feeling the victory over this battle. He swallowed, his throat visibly bobbing.

Emmett’s eyes scanned the area around us, taking inventory of how close other people were to our vicinity. There was only one other couple walking their dog down the opposite path we were on. His assessment resulted in him leaning in and whispering so quietly I almost couldn’t hear the question. “You’re not a virgin?” Even with his words barely above a whisper his cheeks reddened even more, making me giggle. A man who works in a speakeasy, afraid to ask a woman about the state of her womanhood, was not something I had expected today.

“No,” I was having too much fun with his uneasiness, that was all I was going to give him. I looked away, a smile on my face, as he turned to me, catching my glee. He let out a breath of exaggerated frustration. His playful smile turned serious as he contemplated how to ask his next question. I could feel the hesitation radiating from him. “You can ask your question, whatever it is. I won’t be offended.”

My invitation seemed to settle something inside him. His eyes turned soft to match his words. “Does your fiancée know you’re not a virgin?” It hadn’t even occurred to me to wonder if that mattered to Cameron or not. Every indication had been him not caring about me except when it came specifically to him and what I could give him, essentially.

I wasn’t sure how much I should share. Emmett was a stranger for all intents and purposes, no matter how easily I was able to talk to him. I decided to err on the side of caution, not revealing too much. “We both need to marry each other for various reasons. He doesn’t need to know I’m no longer ‘pure’, and it’s not something I’m going to divulge to him.” All truthful without divulging the fine print details.

“Understandable.” Emmett was processing what I had told him but didn’t pry anymore about Cameron or why we had to get married. I wanted to chase away the dark cloud that now seemed to hang over us.

“Besides, I do have to keep up this innocent act I have going on. Don’t go giving me away now.” I softly jabbed my elbow into his side. He threw his head back in laughter.

“Did you forget I was there last night? I don’t think you are all that innocent.” His laughter ceased long enough for me to defend myself, which I couldn’t.

I shrugged as I said, “I have a tattoo.” Why I shared this secret so willingly, I wasn’t sure. I think it was the first time I felt like someone wouldn’t judge me for something I did for myself. I could bare my purest self to Emmett, and he wouldn’t think any less of me.

It took me a few seconds to reconcile that Emmett’s steady footsteps had stopped and I was walking alone. I turned, confusion etched on my face, just in time to witness Emmett grab his chest dramatically, mouth gaping open.

“Very funny.” I put my hands on my hips in exasperation. Emmett didn’t move an inch as his heady dark eyes raked over my body. He was trying to figure out where my tattoo was hidden. I casually informed him, “You can’t see it unless I take everything off,” before turning and continuing to walk, presumably to Uncle Lon’s house.

Emmett was by my side in no time. He was out of breath from running to catch up to me. Through light gasps he asked, “Everything?” I gave him a sly grin in response. He got the message and let out a deep groan as he almost fell to his knees. I knew he had some follow up questions, but I answered enough.

He opened his mouth to speak when I cut him off, “Enough about me. I think I have earned some secrets of yours.” Disappointment flooded his eyes as he nodded his head, as if contemplating. “It’s only fair,” I pointed out.

He let out a huge breath while rolling his eyes at me, teasing. “Ask your questions.” His words, although they dripped in a teasing tone, they also held an air of excitement, leading me to believe he wanted me to ask him questions.

I took a moment to let him wonder what I was going to ask him. He kept his expression steady, anticipation bubbling right under the surface. As much as he tried to contain his joy, his mouth betrayed him by slightly turning up at the corners. I was just staring at his mouth, taking in the way his bottom lip was slightly fuller than his top lip. All thoughts eluded me as I stared at this beautiful man walking beside me.

His grin grew bigger, cockier. “Are you going to stare at me the rest of the way to your house or are you going to ask me some questions?” My neck almost broke from the speed at which my head whipped forward. There was no coming back from this. I had been caught red handed ogling my friend. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks, no doubt making me as red as a tomato.

“You’re cute when you’re blushing.” I shoved him slightly as we kept walking.

“So are you.” The words came out before I could even stop them. My natural instinct had been to throw my hand over my mouth in surprise. The action made both of us start laughing.

Emmett placed his hand on the small of my back before he leaned in closely, whispering “Ask me your questions, Carrots.” His voice was low and husky making my body tingle in places I didn’t know were possible. I cleared my throat in order to chase the feeling away.

“Alright then.” I scrambled to think of a question to ask to quell the sudden growing tension. “I didn’t see any pictures of your family at your house. Do you not see them?” There, that should have broken the thick air of whatever was brewing. I could tell the question hit Emmett as intended, knocking him off kilter.

It took him a minute to find the words. “My mother and father died when I was a teenager.” My heart broke for him. I couldn’t imagine losing both of my parents now, let alone at such a young age. I was about to give my condolences, but he wasn’t done. “And I lost my younger brother, Jason, when he was five. I was seven.” My heart shattered for him. As much as my sisters could drive me to the edge of insanity, I couldn’t even begin to contemplate losing one of them.

His earlier confession of pushing the people he liked away came into focus. He didn’t push people away because he was afraid they would leave, he was afraid they would die. It was absolutely devastating coming to that conclusion. “Oh, Emmett. I am so sorry.” I was trying to read what he was thinking, but he steeled his face, surely a defense mechanism he’d perfected over the years.

“I can’t handle that kind of loss again.” The hurt, even all those years later, was still heavy on his heart with his revelation. Maybe this was what he had been wanting to get off his chest. Something this heavy would weigh anyone down, nearly suffocating them.

“It must be lonely. I understand your reasoning though.” I wasn’t sure how much he was willing to share. He had already shared more than I would have expected of anyone.

He just shrugged, “I like my privacy.” A laugh escaped me at his liking privacy, garnering me a side eye.

“I am the oldest of five sisters. We had two bedrooms and one bathroom between us. There was no such thing as privacy at my house.” I could see the entrance of the park coming into view, the sun starting to set, making the entrance glow in a light orange haze.

“That sounds like complete chaos.” Emmett had an amused glint in his eye. It was better than the sadness he had just been wearing.

“It definitely was chaotic most of the time…” I couldn’t think of the last time I had thought about my sisters since I had gotten to Chicago. What kind of horrible person doesn’t even have a thought about her sisters back home? What was even more surprising was that I had thought about the night sky at the farm more than I thought about my sisters.

Emmett picked up on my mood change. “What is it?” Concern hiding just beyond his words. We passed the group of bare trees that seemed to have lost all their wonder from this afternoon, they looked a little more menacing as the sun dipped below the skyline.

“I thought I was going to miss my sisters more. I do miss them, don’t get me wrong, but I miss being able to see the stars at night the most. Like, amid all the chaos and work on the farm, I had the stars at night just for me, for a while at least.” Emmett raised his eyebrows in a questioning gesture. “That was until Nick found me laying on the roof one night, star gazing. The sky had been particularly crip that night. He joined me every night after that.” It made me miss Nick, thinking about our time spent together under the open night sky. I let a small smile trace my lips. “He taught me about stars and the constellations.”

“There seems to be more to the story there.” Emmett seemed to be asking a question without really asking the question. I’d already shared so much with him there really didn’t seem to be any harm in sharing more.

“Nick was the one who took my virginity. After spending numerous nights together, one thing led to another.” Emmett’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “He is also the one who gave me my tattoo.” This little tidbit of information really seemed to pique Emmett’s interest.

“This guy sounds like a bad influence.” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Next, you’re going to tell me he was the one who taught you how to drink.” I winced at his accuracy. Emmett took my wince as confirmation. “Damn. It sounds like I have some catching up to do in your corruption.”

I smiled sweetly, my words as innocent as could be. “You can’t corrupt the corrupted, sir.” Emmett’s eyes flared after the word sir had left my lips. We turned the corner onto my uncle’s block and Emmett immediately pulled me back around the corner we’d just come from. I think he could read the confusion on my face.

“I don’t think I should walk you up to your door. You know, you being an engaged woman and all.” His words stung a little, but they were the truth. “Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” Emmett’s words were heavy.

I hadn’t been informed of anything I was to do or anywhere I had to be. “Not that I know of.”

“I want to take you some-place tomorrow afternoon.” His eyes were filled with childlike excitement. Like when you have a gift for someone and you are too excited to wait until their birthday or Christmas for them to open it, so you give it to them the day you get it. His excitement was contagious.

“Okay,” I said with a smile on my face. Anything that made him that happy, I wanted to see, to be a part of.

“I’ll send a car for you at 1.” I nodded. “I’ll meet you under the stars, Carrots.” Emmett gave a gentle wave as we parted ways.

That was an odd way to depart. The thought quickly left my mind on the short walk home from the corner. My mind was racing with what Emmett could possibly have planned for tomorrow.

I noticed Russel waiting by the driveway gate before he noticed me. I could tell from the way he was standing that he was angry. I braced myself for the fall out. Thinking I could sneak by him was pointless since I barely made it to the gate when he turned around, face red from frustration.

He was hot on my heels as I made my way toward the house, “Where the hell were you?” He didn’t have the patience to hear my answer because in his next breath he berated me, “You cannot leave the house unattended.” I kept walking. He stepped in front of me, not allowing me to pass him. “I’m serious, Charlotte. There are people out there that want to hurt you to get to your uncle or Cameron. It’s not safe for you to be out in the city alone, no matter what you think.” Russel was basically a glorified babysitter that took his job seriously, no matter how degrading it seemed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that.” I hadn’t thought about it at all. What would the consequences be now that I was to become Mrs. Darby? Both my uncle and his father were rich, influential men who held a lot of sway in Chicago. Being connected to both families did put a target on my back for the men that ran the seedy underbelly of the city. It seemed that even if my fiancée didn’t want me, his enemies could.

With Russel now being on guard he could put a damper on my plans with Emmett. I wanted to start planning my exit strategy now. “I will be out tomorrow. A car is going to be picking me up, so no need to worry about my being alone in the city.” My words came out as assuredly as I could muster.

I was always unsure of myself in my life. As an older sister, my younger sisters came to me for advice all the time. I could give them sound advice without wavering a bit. The moment I needed advice, all my logic went out the window. Somewhere along the way I stopped taking my own advice by questioning its validity. It made me strong in regards to others while I became a self-doubting person.

I had made it to the front door, the threshold looking like some kind of beacon of safety if I could pass through it. I was almost to my salvation when Russel came in like a raincloud on a sunny day.

“That won’t work Miss. Bradley. Either Marco or I have to be with you at all times outside of this house.” He had controlled anger in his tone. It made me think he had gotten in trouble for my leaving, and he was not to let it happen again. It seemed this was going to turn into an escape rather than an outing.

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