Chapter 15
DECLAN
“The weather fucking sucks now,” I tell Hendrix as I sit in front of his grave. “We’re in that in between where it’s cool in the morning, but hot as fuck a few hours later. I fucking hate it.”
Hendrix was an orphan. No parents, no kids, no other family. I’m the only one that comes to visit him, talking to him, and leaving flowers on his grave.
Though I wasn’t surprised when I saw a fresh bouquet on his grave today. I’m not sure who it is, but they leave them almost every week.
I chuckle as I look at the sky. “I remember that one time you wore that ugly fucking sweater, not realizing we’d be going to the mayor’s house with Dad. God, those pictures were hilarious. I’ll have to ask Dad about them. You were miserable.”
It’s very rare that anyone in politics asks for an audience with our family, but the mayor had promised to be tough on crime and wanted to form a truce of sorts, so no one called bullshit on his promises.
Dad asked us to come along to make sure the mayor wasn’t trying to pull a fast one.
We had no clue there would be photographers there, and Hendrix said he wanted to dress down that day.
Not only was it hot as fuck by the time we arrived—the morning had started off in the low forties, rising in only a few hours to almost seventy-three degrees—but the cameras flashing in a sweaty Hendrix’s face had him ready to knock people’s heads from their shoulders.
It was rare for him to show how much something pissed him off.
“Yeah, you usually left the anger to me.” A weight rests on my chest, the pain of his loss still as acute as when I saw him slumped on the floor, a bullet ending his life. Getting revenge didn’t fill the void.
Though, I’m glad I was able to avenge someone I loved.
My dad took care of shit with my mom. Killed an entire family, wiped their names off the face of the earth when they took the love of his life away.
While Hendrix wasn’t anything more than my best friend and confidant, he was the closest person to my heart, other than Dad and Carter.
Sighing, I look back down at the grave of my best friend. I made sure his headstone was simple and fuss free, just like Hendrix himself was. Just his name, birth and death date and a personal message from me to him.
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MISSED.
It’s not enough, not nearly enough for how I felt about him, but it was all I could think that would sum up the lingering pain I’ll feel until my dying day.
I lay down the flowers I brought with me, picking up the ones that were there so I can toss them ugly fuckers in the trash.
Looking down at the flowers in my hand, I see they’re not really ugly. Whoever keeps leaving them took great care when picking this arrangement. Still, it’s not anyone else’s place to buy Hen flowers.
“I think I found the person that was threatening me. I want to go over now and shove my Sig down his throat, but Nico told me to chill.” I chuckle again, though nothing is really funny.
Hen would have probably thought it was. “Yeah, I’m working with Nico.
He’s helping me figure this shit out. And he’s keeping it a secret from Carter.
You know what would happen if Carter knew about this.
” I pause, as if I was waiting for him to answer.
I can almost hear his voice in my head, the deep rumble of his chuckle as he says, Probably talk cash shit about how you’re reckless and he knew someone would try to come after you.
“Exactly. He’d take over and tell me I don’t know what I’m doing or chastise me because of something I did in the past that has someone after me. But Nico…” I tip my head back and close my eyes.
I won’t kid myself and say I’m not attracted to Nico.
I mean, how could I not be? He’s so good-looking, from his low-cut Caesar with deep waves to his warm brown skin.
His chocolate brown eyes, straight nose, and plump lips.
He’s the epitome of a good-looking man, someone that I don’t mind letting fuck me into the mattress when he wants to.
Not only that though, but he’s also…attentive. When we talk, I have his undivided attention. He listens to me. Not just so he can give me answers, like Dad and Carter, but so we can actually have a conversation.
I told him not to catch feelings, but I need to listen to my own advice. I’ve been a dick to him, hoping he won’t get close to me, but I like when he’s around. I like when he looks at me, when he touches me, when he kisses me.
Fuck, do I really like Nico?
“Goddammit,” I hiss as I run my fingers through my hair. There’s no way I can be catching feelings for him when this started as us fucking. That’s all it’s supposed to be.
Fucking hell, I don’t know what I’ll do about any feelings I have for that fucker.
I shake my head as I exhale roughly. “Anyway, Nico is helping me figure shit out. As soon as I do, I’ll drop him.
I swear.” Feelings be damned. “It’s been a long time since I tortured someone.
That shit that happened with Cliff and his merry band of bitches wasn’t enough to satisfy me.
But with Jadon, I plan to be at it all night.
Then I’ll cut off his head and leave it for his widow, so she’ll know he ain’t coming back.
I wish you were here to help me. Remember our first kill together? It’ll be like that, but worse.”
The first time Dad let us loose, we had body parts littered around the tiny garage he was holding the child molester he found in his ranks.
He told us to do what we wanted with him, and we had a good fucking time tearing him apart.
We even left the piece of shit a parting gift—his disgusting cock shoved down his throat.
It was the kill I was most proud of. I don’t care about a lot of shit, but rape and crimes against kids are a no fucking go for me and I will rip someone to shreds if I hear about it.
What I plan to do to Jadon will make that kill look like child’s play.
“Nico is a lot like you,” I finally finish my thought.
“He doesn’t want to fix me. He wants to help me.
” I grumble, “As much as I don’t like to listen to him, he’s right sometimes.
We’ll get to the bottom of this, for sure.
I’ll report back to you when it’s all straight.
” I pause for a moment, my throat tight.
I have to swallow several times to push the words out. “I love you, Hen.”
While he was alive, I never uttered those words, though he knew I did. I always had his back and would do anything for him, the same as he would for me. Now I live with the regret that he never heard me say it. I can only hope my actions spoke for me and he knew I loved him.
I push the regret from my mind, turn on my heel and leave.