Chapter 30
DECLAN
“Fuck, that feels good,” I say as the pieces of the cast fall at my feet. “I can fucking scratch my forearm without a fucking stick.”
Manuel snorts as Nico shakes his head. Dr. Richards grins as he brushes the bits of plaster off my skin. I’m not sure he’s supposed to be the one to remove my cast but fuck it. He’s a jack of all trades.
Dr. Richards takes my arm, twisting it back and forth. “How does that feel?”
“Good,” I say.
He runs a gentle finger over the tendon I tore in my hand. “Can you feel that?”
I close my eyes and try to focus on his touch, but I feel nothing.
Sighing, I open my eyes and shake my head. “No.”
He nods. “It’s what we expected. Move your thumb for me.
” I do what he says, the movement slow and uncoordinated since my hand was immobilized for the past six weeks.
“Good. Roll your wrist.” I do what he says, hissing at the tightness.
“It’ll loosen the longer you’re out of your cast. You’re doing well, Declan.
I’ll finish my exam and be out of your hair.
You won’t see me again for a long while… right?”
“I sure fucking hope not, Doc.”
He checks over the stitching on my finger and presses on my ribs to ensure they’re healing. They only hurt if I move too fast or bend the wrong way. Overall, I feel good. Not one hundred percent, but close enough.
He also looks over my incision sites. The surgery for my torn liver was done laparoscopically, so he just checks the tiny scars that dot my torso.
After he’s done, Manuel walks Dr. Richards to the door while Nico comes to sit beside me. He takes my arm in his hand and rubs along the pasty skin. “Gotta tan this up, baby.”
“Ugh, I know. I’ve been in this fucking cabin so long that I look like fucking Casper.”
“Nah, you look good. Beautiful, even.”
I give him a droll look but smile at him when he winks.
I thread my fingers through his, feeling a little uncomfortable when I look at my missing digit.
It’ll take some getting used to, not having an index finger.
But one thing I am is a determined son of a bitch, so I’ll learn to live with it.
It might take a week, a month, a year, a decade, but I’ll be okay.
I would love to still have my finger, but there’s no need to wallow in what I don’t have.
Some days, I’ll feel down about it and curse Austin’s fucking name for what he did to me, but right now, I’m determined to adjust my life until I master everything that needs mastering.
Nico must read my thoughts because he brings my hand to his mouth, kissing the space gently. “Still the sexiest hands I’ve ever seen.”
I chuckle and push him away. “You’re a dork. Come on, get me home. I want to shower in my own bathroom.”
“This is technically your bathroom, too.”
“Yeah, but this cabin doesn’t have the multi-function shower head. And the water pressure is shit.”
Nico cackles as he helps me to my room to pack up all the shit that made its way over here in the past six weeks.
I’m glad I had somewhere to crash that few people knew about.
It gave me time to rest and not have nightmares about someone coming after me.
There was a time or two that faint footsteps had me breaking out into a cold sweat, something that I will probably have to see a doctor about.
I don’t want to live in fear of fucking footsteps.
But I think I had a peace of mind, knowing that Austin and his fucking bitch-ass family couldn’t find me.
“No word on Austin?” I ask as I stuff shirts into my duffle bag.
Nico falters for a second as he folds my jeans but recovers quickly. “Not yet. You’ll know as soon as we do.”
I stop packing and narrow my eyes at him. “Are you trying to protect me by not telling me where that fucking fucker is?”
Every day, I’ve been asking where that fucker is and every day, Nico tells me there’s no word. The same with Carter and Kai. I wonder if all of them collectively got together and discussed keeping the information away from me.
He sighs and tosses the pants to the bed. “Is that so wrong? Can’t I make sure my fiancé isn’t hurt more than he already has been?”
My heart skips as he calls me his fiancé. Fuck, I can’t believe I agreed to marry him. I mean, I can, but marriage was never something I thought about. Not until him. Wanting to tie myself to Nico forever is a fucking dream, though I won’t tell him that.
“Dammit, Nico,” I huff. “You can’t do that. I’m not fucking weak.”
“I know,” he says gently, pissing me off more. “I don’t think you’re weak at all. But I want you to finish healing before you torture anyone again, yeah?”
“Not your call, fiancé,” I sneer.
Nico smiles widely, a dimple popping in his cheek. He walks over to me and pulls me close. “You make that word sound so sexy.”
I can’t help but grin back. “Ugh, get the fuck away from me.”
He kisses me quickly, then goes back to his own packing. “You’re right, it’s not my call. But I don’t give a fuck. You can either deal with it or…deal with it.”
I throw a shoe at him.
After we finish packing, we head outside, and Nico tells everyone we’re heading home. He gives them their new assignments—which is usually my job, but whatever—and we all take off, Manuel driving me and Nico. I lean against Nico the whole way home, my eyes closed as I soak up his energy.
Over the past six weeks, Nico has been my rock every step of the way.
He let me vent about not being able to move like I want because of my injuries, he let me cry about how much pain I was in, he let me go off on what I wanted to do to Austin and his fuck-ass cousin when I ran into them.
But the whole time, he never invalidated my feelings.
He listened, not to respond, but to give me all the support I needed.
I don’t think I could have found a better partner if I tried.
Almost an hour later, we arrive at my place. I don’t know why a lump lodges in my throat as I look up at the building. Maybe because I thought I’d never see it again? Who knows?
The three of us make our way upstairs. Manuel stops at the door and says, “I can keep watch.”
“Nah,” I say. “I have a spare room you can crash in. It’s late and I don’t want to worry about if you’re getting sleep or not.
” When he opens his mouth, I hold a hand up.
“Don’t piss me off by arguing. I haven’t tried to shoot anyone with my middle finger on my left hand, but I’m willing to try if you open your pie hole with some bullshit. ”
Manuel chuckles and steps inside. “You got it. Tell me where to crash.”
Surprising myself, I walk him to Hendrix’s room. “We’re in the process of cleaning it out, but you can sleep here.”
Nico wraps his arm around my waist, giving me some of his strength as I watch Manuel sit on Hen’s bed.
When I’m sure he’s settled in, me and my fiancé make our way to my room. I sigh when I shut the door and lean against it.
Nico gets in my space, pulling my body flush against his. “You good?’
I sigh and wrap my hands around his waist, glad that I can really touch him and not have that stupid fucking cast bump into everything. “Yeah. Tired. Ready to lie down so you can hold me.”
He pouts and says, “What if I wanted to be the little spoon tonight?”
I snort and push him away and head to the bathroom. “Come on, weirdo. I need to shower before I pass out.”
Nico grabs me by the waist and pulls me back. “No, let me do it. Let me take care of you tonight, okay?”
Smiling, I turn around in his arms and give him a solid kiss. “Okay. You’re already spoiling me. If you start now, it’ll have to be a thing throughout our marriage.”
“I can manage that.”
He starts the shower, then turns to undress me, peeling each article of clothing off with reverence.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, trailing a hand down my belly.
I’m not as fit as I was before my abduction, since they didn’t feed me for an entire week and I haven’t been able to work out like I’m used to.
It was hard to put the weight back on and I still haven’t completely regained my appetite.
But when Nico tells me I’m beautiful, I believe him.
I duck my head, a blush warming my cheeks. “You’re only saying that because you have to.”
“Not this time. You’re stunning, Declan. Always have been. Even when you have your signature scowl on your face.” I look at him dryly, and he laughs. “Yeah, like that.”
“Fuck you, Nico. I could always end this engagement and take my key back.”
“No, you can’t.” He kisses me hard, leaving me breathless. “No take backs.”
Steam swirls from the shower, so Nico undresses quickly, and we step inside.
He grabs a washcloth and adds body wash to it. Nico presses me against the shower wall and runs the sudsy cloth all over my body.
When he gets to a slice over my left bicep, he runs his fingers over the spot, then leans down to kiss it.
“This is a sign that you survived.” He moves to a cut along my pecs and does the same thing.
“This is a sign you survived.” He raises my left hand to his mouth, kissing the space where my index finger used to be. “This is a sign you survived.”
Over and over, he kisses me where I have any kind of wound from my time in captivity.
I can’t even feel ashamed of all the scars or pissed that I went through it.
All I can feel is grateful that I have someone like Nico that makes me see the bright side of my ordeal.
I fucking survived. I didn’t come out whole, but I made it.
Even when I wanted to give up, I didn’t; I kept fighting, kept trying until I got myself free. I was my own hero.
Nico drops to his knees, washing me all over. When he’s finished soaping my front, all the way down to my toes, he turns me around, pulling at my hips to angle my ass back so I’m exposed to him.
With gentle hands, he takes the cloth and runs it down my crease, up and down, up and down.