Chapter Thirteen
All the next day until he started work, Luke tortured himself over the way things had ended between him and Honey the night before. When she’d first shown up in the bar with her gorgeous hair and the face of his personal angel, he’d almost fallen off the stage. After the Zed incident, his instincts were to get close and learn more about the woman.
Until he remembered the investigation. That’s when a bomb detonated in his skull. Don’t get involved, dummy. Now’s the worst time to get into a relationship.
He would have backed off completely… well, until he ended up watching her fight off three street people and walk away hating him for letting them go. Little did she know, everything inside him wanted to call the police, but he couldn’t take the chance that one of the cops would have recognized him, and he’d be outed.
Normally, he couldn’t care less what most people thought about him, but she was different. The idea of her finding out he’d been blackballed from the FBI for stealing drugs or had anything to do with that shit made him ill. No way did he want her to get the wrong impression. Chrissakes, hadn’t he gone through years of toiling and schooling to erase that image from his past?
Declaring his innocence wouldn’t work either. After his behavior, why would she care? What mattered was that instead of protecting her like he normally would have done, he’d forced her to let those pervs get away.
***
Now that he was back on stage, he performed but without his usual zeal. Every time the crowd insisted on celebrating his birthday, he flinched. Fuck, he wished Linda and Jess had forgotten the date altogether. Once the girls behind the bar knew what the day was, it became a reason to hold a party. Being a weekend, the place normally buzzed anyway, but now it had become crazier than usual. So many customers bought him drinks that he finally told Linda and Jess not to deliver them. “Darlin’ tell the folks to put the money in the tip jar instead… or you do it for ‘em, okay?”
Just then, Luke saw Jess cleaning off an empty table close to the stage and then wave over two of their regulars to sit. His buddy still looked strange… kinda happy and yet terrified, and Luke’s sympathy grew.
Poor guy had approached him the moment he’d arrived earlier. “Have you got a minute, Luke. I did something really stupid, man. I messed up bad.”
Luke took his arm and pulled him to the room behind the bar. “Slow down, bro. Just tell me what happened.”
“You know that pretty girl you asked me to dance with last night?”
“Yeah… Mel something.”
“Well, we hit it off.”
“You did? That’s good, right?”
“Not so good. I got scared. After we got to her place, I took off. Left her hanging. Ran off like a stupid scared baby. Fuck me, I didn’t know what to do, Luke.”
“Jess. Calm down. You’re good, man. Just call her and explain that you’re shy. No need to be ashamed of that, dude. There’s worse things, trust me.”
“I tried to call a dozen times, but I couldn’t. Didn’t know what to say.”
“Hey, you talk to people at the bar all the time.”
“Nah. It’s all bullshit. Besides, they do most of the talking, I just pretend to listen. But she’s real nice, Luke.” Jess’s clenched hands punched at his forehead. “I’m a fucking idiot. I got scared, you know? My past, it comes back all the time in moments like this. I-I didn’t know what… oh Christ, I’m such a loser.”
“Stop that.” Luke grabbed Jess’s arms and pulled the guy around to face him. “That’s Julian’s shit talk that got you in trouble in the first place. You’re not a loser… no way. You’re one of the kindest people I know. So don’t mess around, man. I mean it.”
Jess let his head drop and sighed long and hard. From the few inches separating them, Luke could feel the man trembling with anxiety. “Don’t worry, dude. If I was gonna do something stupid, I would have last night after I ran out of her place.” He stared at Luke; his expression troubled. “It was close. Twenty years of sobriety. You’ll never know how close I came to calling you.”
“Anytime, bro. Anytime, yeah?”
“Yeah. I know. I actually had my phone out but just as I was going to hit send, I got a text from her. And then another message saying she was sorry. Christ, she apologized to me.” Jess’s voice wobbled. “Should I answer them?”
“You didn’t respond?” Luke’s worry dissolved instantly. In his experience, any woman who followed up after a date gone wrong cared about the other person. Smiling now, he asked, “Jess, what do you want to do? Is she the one worth the battle?”
“You mean my personal battle.”
“You said it. Is she worth you struggling against everything that’s held you back all these years?”
Jess stared up at Luke, his mind working hard. Suddenly, he smiled in that sweet way he had, and his head bobbed up and down. “Yeah. She is.”
“Then take a few more minutes and send her a reply. Good luck, man. I’m happy for you.”
Watching for Jess to reappear, Luke felt an upswing of happiness to see his buddy smiling and sending him a thumbs-up sign. Good! Feeling better himself, Luke settled down for another session and took his second beer up to the stage with him. He tuned his guitar and began one of Tennessee’s favorites for the folks. His rich sounds floated out to the streets, and he watched more people surging through the door. About an hour later, he saw the blonde hair first and then the face he’d yearned to see all day.
She’s here.
Suddenly, irritation grabbed hold. Pushing her way in behind Honey was brassy Wendi, the woman he’d met with earlier. The one he’d encouraged because she’d promised to give him the lowdown on the Nashville drug trade.
No, no, fuck, no.
Stuck… knowing he had to show up for their meeting, he clenched his teeth and fought the earlier adrenal rush his body had experienced after seeing Honey.
Unfortunately, as part of his undercover operation, he had no choice. This Wendi had gotten involved with one of the gangs a month before and had become their best customer. The same woman who had no control on her behavior and figured, like most men, he might be interested in what she had to offer.
Fuck!