Chapter Thirteen
Soon, Cane found himself sitting next to Raven at a small table with some of the town’s leaders. Looking around, he scanned the shock on faces that wore grave expressions of sadness and anger.
Ravenous, both he and Raven devoured their food, and still thirsty, he got up to bring the coffee pot over and offered refills to everyone. While he took care of their comfort, he watched Raven getting drawn into many discussions and sensed that her hesitation to speak frankly dwindled.
Being in a position of control came easy to her, and the others accepted she could handle the pressure because of her background. Or more likely, they didn’t want the responsibility themselves.
Well… except for Henry. The man tended to interrupt her, monopolize the conversation, and at times, even rudely cut her off. Which didn’t sit well with Cane. He’d worked with – and for – some incredible females in his past, and his respect for them had grown exponentially over those years.
As he watched this interaction, he noticed that Raven handled the insulting behavior with a teasing kind of acceptance. It’s like she knew how to maneuver Henry’s chauvinistic mind-set without dumping on him, so the conversation never turned into an argument.
Her skill amazed him. He didn’t lie earlier when he’d told her that he was stunned by her size in comparison to her capabilities.
As he watched her debate the issues, he remembered what her lips were doing not so long ago, and his body hardened with the memory.
Seriously? What the hell are you thinking? No way, buddy… no Goddamn way.
Zooming out of the conversation, he let his mind wander to how it felt to hold a woman in his arms again, and the madness of letting his passion rule his head.
No more. That bullshit has to stop. He didn’t deserve such a female.
Those incredible moments they’d just shared in the classroom had been his fault.
He’d taken one look at her glorious nakedness and lost his priorities…
never mind his sanity. And there was no way in hell he’d ever travel that same path again.
Giving over his life to another. Suffering the pain of losing his whole family again.
And being the person who killed them… instead of saving them. Never.
His conscience reminded him of the earlier folly. Total fucking madness you fool. And you know it. Been there – done that.
Why he’d lost his composure, he put down to one thing…
getting close to Raven. After experiencing such a crazy, breath-taking reaction to her nudity, it had been madness.
He’d known it, tried to stop himself but couldn’t seem to dredge up the sense God gave a cornered rat.
He’d told her the truth about his shock at seeing how tiny she was compared to the woman who’d managed such heroic accomplishments.
Bastard that he was used it as the reason for ignoring his principles.
Well…enough of that bullshit. From now on, he’d keep those thoughts out of his head, his hands to himself, stay firmly in the background, and just help where he could. And from the discussion going on, there was a hell of a lot to do.
“Not his fault, Raven.” Henry’s voice cut into his introspection. “Palmer has the covid. My sister Nancy tested him. By this evening, he could hardly breathe. We told him to go home.”
He didn’t. “He’s passed out at the police station.”
“No surprise. Idiot figures Jack Daniels is medicine. Glad he gave you his boat before that happened. We don’t have enough recovery crafts as it is.
You were the last ones out on the river looking for survivors tonight.
But at first light, when we can make out the debris floating in the water, we need to head out again. ”
Cane had to know, “Did you find many that were trapped but alive?”
“Some.”
Another older man cleared his throat and added, “But we came across a few that didn’t make it. They’re at the morgue. It’s a horrible thing to see when that happens. Sticks to a man’s soul and never fades.”
Raven’s voice low with sympathy cut in. She reached her hand across the table to take his for a few seconds. “I’m sorry, Dwayne. Anyone you knew?”
“Yeah, an old buddy of mine who liked to live out of town. Guess he was heading in when the flood took his beat-up old truck with him inside. Horrible mess.”
One of the women at the table voiced her regret and then continued, “We found Aggie Highwalker and her daughter, Rosa, in a tree. She was out of it, the old girl, but her daughter held on to her for hours before we came along. It broke my heart to have to admit she’d been clinging to a dead woman.
” Shaking her head, tears obvious in her voice, she cleared her sobs with a cough and said, “Heard about a few more that got picked up floating in the water, some caught up on the bank. A bloody shame if’n you ask me.
I got one question, and no one seems to have any answers. Why weren’t we warned?”
Raven put her arm around the speaker and held her while she broke down. “I’m so sorry Amy. I came late and have no idea what happened leading up to the disaster. If what you say is true, then the town council needs to look into why you weren’t given notice so it can never happen again.”
Henry broke in as if he hated not being the center of attention. “It’s the sheriff’s department who would normally be stepping up right now to take care of things. But with Palmer out of commission and the new guy missing, I guess I’ll have to take the reins.”
Dwayne broke in, “You already have enough on your plate, Henry, organizing the fire department and rescue groups, interacting with the closest towns, and a million other responsibilities. You’re only one man and exhausted.
It’s a bad time for us to lose our sheriff.
With Palmer out of commission and the other two employees unable to get here, we’re really hurting with no one able to take over.
Death has a way of making people crazy.”
Raven spoke up, “I’m sure Cane knows how that feels. He’s been a sheriff in Houston. And has no doubt been involved in a lot of misery over the years.”
Henry suddenly gave Cane his full attention rather than ignoring his presence. “You here on vacation with your family, Cane?”
“Nah, no family. Just me. I needed to escape from the stress of city life for a while. Took a leave. Decided to get away and clear my head. Came to the mountains to do some camping but my SUV with all my gear got swept away by the flood.”
Dwayne broke into the conversation. “I’m really sorry about your misfortunes, son, but it could work in our favor… for now anyway? We’d sure like to have a man with your experience around over these next few days.”
“Got nowhere else to be for now. Glad to assist any way I can.” As those words came out of him, he thought about chewing off his tongue.
What the Christ was wrong with him? Getting involved in more heartbreak and misery again after suffering the last breakdown.
How could he deal with so much stress without succumbing to poisonous, liquid relief… same as he’d done before?
Like in Palmer’s office. It had been close, seeing that liquor there for the taking.
Considering how wet and cold they were, he knew Raven wouldn’t have thought any less of him wanting a drink.
Yet he’d controlled the urge. Truthfully, because she’d been with him.
Would he have succumbed if he’d been alone?
Shit, yeah. Maybe. Fuck…
Dan, his sponsor, told him not to leave, to stick close by for support, but something called to Cane.
The yearning for peace. Suddenly, he couldn’t bare another day living with his foul memories.
So… he’d packed his car and for the first time in months, while driving along the highway, he felt like he could breathe.
Even though he’d sold the house and gotten rid of all the belongings from family life, keeping a very few of the most valuable items, it hadn’t made a difference.
Shortly after… he’d moved into a dumpy apartment where his boxes were still full, and the furnished place never stopped appearing as abandoned as he felt.
Going that route, giving up his worldly goods, he still couldn’t rid himself of the nightmares.
They came along with him no matter where he went.
How stupid to think he’d leave them behind.
And how stupid to think the idea of killing himself would fade when for weeks after the accident it had been all he could think about.
If only he could have gotten drunk enough to do it.
To leave all that pain and heartache behind seemed to be his only hope of survival. Then one day, while clearing out some of the old family pictures, he’d come across one that sparked a good feeling. Scenes of the mountains where as a boy he’d had wonderful times with his grandfather.
Those photos clawed at him more as time went on, and in his mind, they became the answer to finding peace. Once the thought popped into his head, nothing could dislodge it. In fact, if he had been a spiritual kind of man, he’d say he’d been urged to make the move and even weirder… to hurry.
Go figure. He drove like a fool to get to this area, and before he could let the mountain air cleanse his soul, he ended up at the very place where more misery awaited him. Would it never end?
Coming back to the others and seeing the discussion had wound down, that the people at the table were seeking out mattresses spread over in the corner, he spotted Raven’s wave and followed her.
Against the wall, a wide blowup mattress awaited with a blanket folded at the end.
They both sunk into the comfort of resting their weary bodies.
The last conscious thought that popped into his mind made him grin. His soul could look after itself for now, he hadn’t an ounce of energy left to deal with grief tonight. Seconds after checking on Raven’s comfort and finding her hand under the large blanket within reach, his body relaxed.
Curling his warm fingers around hers, he closed his eyes and for the first time since the fatal accident, his sleep wasn’t invaded by nightmares.