Chapter 3
Specter
Once I’m satisfied Cashmere is safely inside his apartment, I drive off to head home.
He seems alert to his surroundings, which is good, but I’ve made it my personal duty to make sure he gets home untouched.
Lingering in the apartment building’s parking lot waiting for him gives me time to catch up on the world around me.
To anyone walking by, I’m just a dude scrolling on his phone, waiting for someone.
Now on the highway, I open my window and light a cigarette. I hate this particular vice of mine, but it keeps me from going for worse crutches. My life isn’t exactly low stress, and if I can’t fuck or kill, I need a place to put all this energy and the gym isn’t always convenient.
I glance at the clock on the dashboard. It’s past midnight now, but that doesn’t mean jack to the guys I live with. I expect they’ll all still be up, talking shit or making late-night snacks in the kitchen. A slight smile tugs at my lips. I don’t hate it. They’re the family I never had.
By the time I’ve entered the gate code and pulled onto the circular driveway, it’s been forty minutes and I’m still feeling agitated.
I want to touch Cashmere so bad I can taste it, but I’m not any closer to my goal than I’ve ever been.
Maybe Phantom will be up for a little sparring in the ring so I can burn off some energy.
I park in my usual spot at the side of the house and exit the car, glancing up at the imposing, ornate structure. It’s a unique house, a mansion by most people’s standards, but it fits all of us while giving us plenty of autonomy and privacy.
Entering through the front door, I pause to check the vibe. It seems unusually quiet until I hear Ghost cackling from the back rec room. A smile tugs at my lips as I walk in that direction. It’s been a long day, but it’s always nice to come home.
“There he is,” Wraith announces, sitting backward in a chair, his auburn hair slicked back like he just got out of the shower, a beer in his hand. “Where you been, man?”
“Out.” I shrug off my trench and toss it over the back of the sofa. “What’s going on?”
“Pool, obviously,” Whisper, our quietest, and possibly deadliest, member says while chalking his pool stick. “Want in?”
“Nah. I’ll just watch.”
“Want a drink?” Ghost asks from behind the bar. “Gin on the rocks, right?”
I nod. “Thanks, man.” I sit in an empty chair next to Wraith. “Where’s Shadow?”
“Fucking,” he says. “Brought home a cute little twink.”
“Damn. Good for him. It’s been a while.”
“He finally gave up holding out for his secret crush, I think,” Carnage says as he eyes the pool table. “Good thing. He was getting pretty surly.”
“Hopefully he’ll be in a good mood in the morning,” Phantom chimes in. “Speaking of secret crushes.” He waggles his eyebrows at me. “What’s new in your corner?”
“I don’t have a crush on anyone. It’s a goddamn obsession. I freely admit it.”
Ghost walks over to me and hands me a drink. “Tell us about him?”
Shaking my head, I take a sip. “Nothing to tell except that he’s the most beautiful man in existence.”
“And you haven’t kidnapped him yet?” Wraith smirks. “I admire your restraint.”
“Yeah, well, it’s wearing thin.”
“Does he know what you do?” Ghost asks.
“No. He’s asked and I told him as soon as he’s in my bed, I’ll tell him.”
“Subtle,” Whisper deadpans.
“Never said I was trying to be.” I shrug. “I want what I want.”
“And Satan help anyone who gets in the way.” Carnage winks at me.
“Yeah.” I lean back in my chair. “I’m trying to let him come to the obvious decision on his own, but I’m getting antsy. Phantom, you want to blow off some steam in the ring?”
“Can’t, man. My shoulder’s tight. Doc said to lay off it for a few weeks.”
I scowl, grunting my displeasure. Guess I’ll be jacking off to memories of Cashmere’s face and the sensual scent of his perfume. Again.
Rising from my chair, I nod at Wraith then walk over to grab my trench.
“Are you going to bed mad?” Carnage teases. “I could come with you. I like it when you’re mad.”
Rolling my eyes, I flip him off. “You wish.”
“I don’t, actually. I just like fucking with you.”
The guys laugh as I shake my head and walk down the hall to my room.
I’m not tired yet at all. I guess I could get back in the car and camp out in front of Cashmere’s place all night, but he almost caught me once when I fell asleep.
The sun was up and he walked a little too close to my car.
Besides, what will that do for me? Just add to the frustration.
In my room, I toe off my boots and hang up my trench before heading to the small area where I keep a few dry goods and a mini fridge for something salty.
I survey the options in my cabinet. The bedrooms are a decent size, and we all have our own bathrooms, but the primary kitchen is downstairs and I get hungry at weird times.
I grab a bag of pretzels and shuffle over to my bed, where I plop down and grab the remote from my nightstand.
I flick the TV on, blinking a few times to adjust to the sudden brightness, wishing I had Cashmere’s phone number.
I could text him and make sure he’s okay.
Or I could tempt him to send me pics of his incredible body.
Fuck, I’m being a creep. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since the day I laid eyes on him months ago. Usually, I don’t even notice details about the men I hook up with, but you can’t ignore Cashmere. He’s got me wrapped around his finger, even if he doesn’t know it.
I stop on a true crime show and settle in. I don’t even feel like jacking off, so I guess I’ll watch murder and eat pretzels until I fall asleep.
Sitting in the dining room with the entire crew the next morning, I sip my coffee and keep an eye trained on Shadow, who’s sitting across from me, tapping on his phone screen.
This man gave me purpose and structure in a sea of chaos, and while I originally thought he wanted me for his bed—a role I would have been happy to accept—I soon learned he had much bigger plans for me.
He looks up and settles his gaze on me as if he can hear my thoughts. He winks, and I nod my acknowledgment. His hair is pulled back into a low bun, revealing his neck, which is covered in purple marks—proof of his escapades last night. I’m happy for him. He’s been a little high strung lately.
He sets his phone down once we’re all gathered. It’s unusual for us to meet on a random Friday morning, but here we are.
“Gentlemen,” Shadow begins. His dark eyes take in the whole table, ensuring he has our full attention before he continues. “Late last night, or rather early this morning, we added to our family.”
I startle. I was not expecting that.
“A favor for a friend, but he’s qualified.” He leans forward on his elbows, one hand draped over the other. “It’s the one we’ve been watching for months.”
Wraith whistles low. “Seriously? You got him?”
“Like we thought, he was working with Seamus’s crew, but now he’s ours.”
“How do we know he’s not a mole or something?” Carnage asks.
Shadow’s jaw ticks. Carnage tends to push his buttons the most. “You think I’m a fucking idiot? I got this far by making stupid decisions?”
Carnage holds up his hands in surrender. “Not what I was saying, boss.”
Shadow blinks slowly several times before pulling his gaze off Carnage’s face. I’m the least likely to push him. Whatever he says is what I accept. I figure he’ll tell me what he wants me to know.
“He needed out,” Shadow says. “And it so happens that he went to the right person for help. His name is Foster. He’s sleeping now, with his boyfriend, I guess, and I’ll introduce him around later.”
“He has a boyfriend with him?” Whisper asks. “Hmm.”
“Extraordinary circumstances. The boyfriend won’t be staying. I’ll expect the same of you as I always do. Show him the ropes, no hazing, and give him space to trust us.”
“He seems cool,” Ghost says. “Me and Phantom greeted him. A little lost, but good vibes overall.”
“Agreed.” Phantom nods.
“And he’s gay?” Carnage asks.
Shadow looks annoyed again. “He’s got a boyfriend.”
“Right.” Carnage nods. “I just meant, he’s one of us.”
“Apparently, yes,” Shadow replies. “I’ll look over our current schedule and get him hooked up with each of you so he can get a feel for things.”
“How much does he already know about what we do, Sjef?” Wraith asks in his slightly Norwegian accent.
“Enough. He’s exactly what I thought he was.
From what we’ve seen, he’s skilled with a weapon.
He may need coaching when we want something different from a straight kill, but that can be learned.
He’s going to be an asset for us.” He taps his fingers on the table. “I put him in the room next to mine.”
Shadow’s gaze turns to me.
“What?”
“You haven’t said anything.”
I shrug. “What do you want me to say? Sounds good, boss?”
A slight smile tugs at his lips. “Just making sure you heard me.”
“Always do.”
After our meeting breaks up, I follow Shadow to the office. Once we’re inside, he gestures to one of the leather chairs in front of his desk.
“I’m ready for a new assignment.”
Shadow nods. “I know, but I want you to take a few days off. You’ve been working nonstop for months.”
“I’m fine.”
“It’s not up for discussion, Specter. I need you at your best at all times.” He sits at his desk. “Rest is part of it and it’s mandatory.”
I already know arguing is pointless. “Yes, boss.”
“Do me a favor? Keep an eye on Foster like you did when Carnage got here. I can count on you to be objective.”
I nod. “I’m on it.” I linger for a moment, even though I know the conversation is over, at least in Shadow’s eyes. “I’m happy for you.”
His gaze shifts up to me. “Why?”
“Heard you had some company last night.”
His pale cheeks actually blush pink and he swallows hard. “Can’t keep anything private from you guys.”
“We weren’t gossiping, just happy for you. You deserve fun too.”
“Thanks, but it was nothing. Just a casual thing.” He blows out a slow breath. “Stress relief, nothing more.”
That may be true, but I know my boss well and I’m pretty sure he’s never blushed before.
“Cool.” I get up and glance around the office for a second. “I’m gonna hit the gym.”
He waves me off, turning his attention to his computer screen. I leave feeling a little lost. My work keeps me focused, and without it, I’m not sure how to spend my time if it doesn’t include hovering around a pretty boy named Cashmere.
He did say he had something fun planned for tonight though. I can kill a few hours working out and cleaning up before I see him again. Every time I talk to him is another chance to get him in my bed. Or I’ll go to his. I’m not picky.
Hours later, I pull up in front of Segreto, parking near Cashmere’s car. There’s another man a few rows over sitting in his car, and I vaguely recall his face from last night. Hmm. He could be here to see anyone, but just in case, I’ll keep an eye on him.
I approach the door, nodding to Gus.
“Welcome back,” he says.
“Thanks, man. Heard Cashmere has something fun planned tonight.”
“I saw the rehearsal. You’ll like it.”
I glance over my shoulder at the parking lot. “There’s a guy sitting in his car over there. I think he was here last night.”
“Already clocked him. He was waiting for Cas when we came out.”
The news raises my hackles. “Is he a problem?”
“To be determined. I talked to the boss and he said we can let him in, but if he even tries to talk to any of the dancers, he’s out.”
“I got your back if needed.”
Gus shakes my hand. “Thanks. You never know around here.”
I walk inside, stopping at the desk to pay the cover charge before I head to my favorite table, which is thankfully unoccupied tonight. Darcy, the server from last night, waves at me, and a few minutes later, he bounces over with a freshly poured gin on the rocks.
“Thanks.”
He nods. “No problem. Are you here to see Cashmere?”
“Yes.” I look over at him. He’s cute in a doll-like way. Too fragile for someone like me. I’m sure he has his fans, but I can’t see anything but the man who dominates my headspace. “Are you guys safe here?”
Darcy nods happily. “Oh yes. We always get walked out and the bouncers are really good at handling anyone who gets out of line. Plus, all the dancers are pretty tough. Last year, Rudy broke a guy’s finger because he wouldn’t stop grabbing at him.
Oh, and Cashmere, he doesn’t even have to break bones. His death glare is enough.”
My cock twitches. I’ve seen that look, thankfully aimed at others, and it’s hot as fuck. “Yeah, it is.”
“So don’t worry about us.”
“I’ll try not to.”
Darcy heads off to another table while I gaze around the club, checking out the clientele. I don’t see the guy from last night yet, which suits me just fine. Would I put a bullet in a guy for getting too close to my obsession? Fuck yeah, I would.
“Hello, handsome.”
My breath catches as I shift in my seat. Cashmere is standing in front of my table, dressed in his robe again, hiding whatever costume he has on underneath.
“Glad you came.”
I nod. “Sit. I’ll buy you a drink.”
“I don’t have time, but I’ll take a rain check.”
“Count on it.” He starts to move away, but I surge forward and grab his hand. He doesn’t immediately pull away this time, instead looking at me with a curious expression. “Would you tell me if you weren’t safe? If you were scared?”
“What would you do if I did?”
“Make it go away.”
He nods, searching my eyes. “Good to know.” Cashmere gently pulls his hand away. “Follow the rules, Specter. We wouldn’t want the other customers getting ideas.”
Grinning, I sit back in my seat. He didn’t say he didn’t want me to touch him. “If you let me, the things I would do to you.”
He graces me with a sexy smile, brushing his luxurious hair off his shoulder. “I know.”
“Then say yes.”
“I didn’t hear a question.”
I stand, closing the distance between us but keeping my hands to myself. “Come home with me. Or let me take you home. Let me treat you how you deserve.”
Cashmere gazes up at me, reaching out to run his hands down the front of my sweater. “Tempting, but I must decline. See, what we have is a transaction. I perform, you pay for my performance. Why break the illusion?”
“You are not a transaction. Not to me.”
“You don’t even know me, Specter. That’s how I like it.” He steps closer, barely brushing up against me. “Just enjoy the dance.”
While my eyes are closed, he walks away, leaving me standing there, stewing in my frustration. Maybe Wraith is right and I should just kidnap him. Once he finds out I could be good for him, he’ll change his mind.
I drag a hand through my hair and return to my seat, dick hard and obsessive thoughts running off the rails.
One way or another, Cashmere is going to be mine. If it’s the last thing I do.