Chapter 20
Colson
After I step out of the shower in Specter’s bathroom, I stand in front of the mirror, trying to calm my chaotic thoughts. It’s obvious Specter has no plans to let me out of his clutches, and as scary as that still is, I can’t help but wonder if giving in would be easier than fighting it.
Maybe I can believe him when he says he has no intention of swallowing me whole in the spiritual sense.
He’s definitely going to in the physical sense.
I’ve never been desired so viscerally by a man before and it feels kind of nice.
Overwhelming but nice. What if I gave in and just tried to enjoy it while it lasts?
After drying off, I wrap myself in my silky robe and exit the bathroom. Specter is sitting on the love seat, one leg crossed over the other as he watches TV. He sits up slightly, when he sees me, his nostrils flaring as he inhales sharply and shuts the TV off with the remote.
Wordlessly, I approach, and when I reach him, I simply let the robe fall and puddle at my feet. His lips part as his eyes heat, and even as a shiver moves down my spine, I stay planted, ready for whatever he wants to give me.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Specter slides off the love seat to kneel before me.
I tangle my fingers in his thick hair, letting the words inside me bubble out. “Worship me, Specter.”
“Can I?” He gazes up, dragging his lips along my leg. “What can I have?”
A small part of my brain yells at me to resist, to hold back, but it can’t overpower the parts screaming to let this intense man have his way.
“Whatever you want.”
He moans softly, his brow creasing. “Thank fuck.”
I stand as still as possible as Specter kisses up and down my legs, from my feet to the insides of my thighs. He ignores my obvious erection, moving his kisses to my belly and chest before pulling me onto his lap.
As our mouths collide, I tug on his sweater to get it over his head, breaking the kiss just long enough to get the material blocking us out of the way. I run my fingers greedily over his chest, flicking his nipples, and as he moans, he drags his teeth along the flesh of my neck.
I’m grinding my naked body against him, and I can feel his cock hard and stiff beneath me through his pants. I try to recall the last time I was fucked, never mind fucked properly, but it’s been so long I can’t.
Specter gets to his feet, easily lifting me and carrying me to the bed right behind us. Instead of laying me down, he collapses on top of me, his weight a delicious reminder of his intensity.
He tugs on his pants, never breaking our kiss, and when I reach down and dig my fingers into his ass cheeks, his moan makes my stomach flutter.
“I’ve dreamed about you,” he whispers, nipping my earlobe. “About what it would feel like just to touch you, but it’s so much better than anything I thought of on my own.”
Is this guy for real? Come on.
He smothers me with his body again, attacking my neck as his hands draw my arms above my head. He holds my wrists together, kissing his way down to my chest, where he pops my nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting hard.
“Oh fuck.”
“Good?” he asks. “Is this too much?”
“Good,” I moan. “More.”
Specter hums, diving in again.
He kisses, licks, and nibbles all over my upper body, getting as low as my belly button before returning to my mouth. He tastes amazing, herbal in a way, and I can’t get enough of his tongue slashing around my mouth.
I’m happy in my chosen role of pillow princess.
I reciprocate nothing. Usually, men get my body and I get to check out for a while, but I have to admit, I’m having trouble retaining my distant stance.
I want to touch him too. Want to run my fingers across his flesh, want to feel the weight of his cock in my mouth.
Closing my eyes, I inhale and exhale slowly. No. This is how it has to be so whenever the eventual parting comes, I’ll be fine. Emotionally unattached.
Specter finally settles between my legs, spreading them apart as he dots soft kisses over the insides of my thighs.
My cock is throbbing now, leaking strands of sticky precum as he does everything but touch me there.
I arch off the bed in an unspoken invitation, but his response is to press his hand to my belly to push me down.
Frustration streaks through me, but I hold it back. I tangle my fingers in his soft hair, tugging a little forcefully, and he hisses, biting my flesh before nuzzling his nose into my balls.
“Here’s the deal, beautiful,” Specter says, rising up and hovering above me. “Unless you stop me, I’m gonna rock your world tonight. Any limits I should know about?”
On top of all he is, he has to be a consent king too?
“We can find them together.”
His eyes heat even more as he smiles slightly. “I’m all in.”
He disappears between my legs again, finally closing his mouth over my cock. I gasp, clawing at his shoulders as he goes hard, sucking me to the base and swallowing around me.
Fuck. This man is a god.
While he attempts to suck my soul out through my dick, his fingers slide into my crease, rubbing a circle around my tight rim. I clench, but blow out a breath to try and relax. I want this. I want him to fuck me and make me forget about anything but this moment.
He pops off my cock and lifts my legs, obscenely gazing at my hole.
“So fucking pretty,” Specter whispers, rubbing his index finger there. Without another word, he dives in, sucking, licking, and biting. Loosening me up until I’m nothing but a boneless, churning mess on the bed. The man eats ass like it’s in his job description and he wants a promotion.
When he breaches me, I cry out but bear down, desperate for more.
More, more, more.
I need him to make me feel something. Alive, ruined, I don’t even fucking care right now. Just something.
I hear rustling, but Specter doesn’t let up on his oral assault of my hole. I mean, he goes all in, turning me inside out, until I’m about as close to begging as I’ve ever been.
I hear the click of a bottle cap, then his finger is gone for a second. It returns quickly, but now it’s slick. Fuck yeah. I pump my hips, silently begging him to finger me harder, deeper.
He does, adding a second finger and digging into me until he finds that spot that sends me to the moon. Once he’s got it, he’s relentless, finger fucking me to within an inch of insanity.
“Ask for my cock,” Specter says, biting my thigh. “Ask for it, beautiful, and it’s yours.”
Biting my bottom lip, I resist. That’s way too much power to give him.
“No,” I breathe out in defiance.
Specter chuckles, flexing his fingers inside me and sending electricity skittering across my skin. Fuck, he’s good.
“Okay,” he says. “I can do this all night. I can edge you until you can’t think of anything but my cock. Is that what you want, beautiful?”
Fuck. I believe him. He’ll do it. He’ll keep me here until I can’t function.
Before I can sort out my thoughts, he closes his hot mouth around the head of my cock, sucking hard.
“You taste so good. Wouldn’t you like this pretty hole filled and stretched the way only I can do it? Don’t you want to feel that?”
“How do I know you’re worth it?”
He looks up, his view partially obscured by my erection, and smirks. He fucking smirks. “I don’t think I need to answer that.”
He pumps his fingers deeper, his brow creased, and I swear to Satan I’ve never seen a sexier man.
“For what it’s worth, I’ve never wanted to fuck somebody so much in my goddamn life. I just need to know you want it. I need to hear that you want it.” He grips my chin with his free hand. “Because once we do this, nothing will be the same.”
That sounds like a threat.
“I want you to trust me to give you what you need. What you want.” He presses a kiss to my lower belly. “To trust me that I’m here to lift you up, baby, not tear you down. So tell me you want my cock, and let me give it to you.”
My bottom lip trembles with the strange mix of emotion flooding my chest, but I push it down. I’m too curious, too horny, for my own good.
“P-please, Specter.”
His eyes heat, growing hooded with lust. “Please, what?”
“Please fuck me. I need your cock.”
“You want it?”
I nod, pushing my need to hold on to my pride back.
“You trust me?”
My lips part from the weight of that sentence but I find myself nodding. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.
“Yes.”
“Fuck,” Specter groans.
He kisses his way down my body again, and this time I hear the crinkle of a wrapper. I almost deflate. I hate condoms, but they are a necessary evil.
Specter lifts my leg, still massaging my hole, and when he lines the head of his cock up, he looks down at me like he just found a chest of gold.
He pushes his way in, and both of us hold our breath. His arms tremble as he squeezes his eyes closed.
“Jesusfuck,” he moans. “Fuck.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Specter opens his eyes, a dazed look in them. “You are unbelievable. Oh fuck, I might bust way too soon.”
“Well now, you talked a big game. I’m expecting a show, Specter.”
A smirk tugs at his lips. “Touché.” He kisses my calf. “Hold on, then.”
Before I can say another word, he pulls almost all the way out of me, then slams back inside, burying himself to the hilt. I can feel him in every part of my body, from my ears to my toes. Fucking hell, he’s huge. Thick.
I’m so full, and he’s relentless, gripping my ankles and plowing into me with hard thrusts. I talked too much shit, and he’s calling my bluff.
Specter slides an arm under me, pulling me upright until I’m seated on his cock. He’s leaning back against the bed, his feet on the floor, but holding me steady as I start to grind into him.
“That’s right, get your dick, baby,” Specter mutters, twisting his fingers in my hair.
If he loosened his grip, I’d slide right to the floor, but he’s not going to loosen up. He’s going to hold on to me like I’m a rare treasure. I’ve got my legs wrapped around him, so I lean back to stroke myself, but Specter shakes his head, licking his lips.
“Mine,” he growls. “All of you, all your pleasure, mine.”
My stomach does a pleasant somersault and I find myself nodding along. He slides his hand from my back up to my neck, pulling our mouths together again. He kisses like he fucks—completely, deeply, passionately—and I am officially ruined.
As I knew I would be.
Specter stands, then turns around and lays me back down before grabbing my ankle and slamming into me until I’m nothing but a whimpering mess beneath him. My balls grow heavy, the tension in my belly building until I’m ready to beg to come, but I dig my teeth into my bottom lip.
“Look at me,” Specter grunts, forcing me to open my eyes. “I’m gonna come soon,” he says through heavy breaths. “No matter what, I’ll take care of you. Understand?”
Vaguely, but I nod, too fucked-out to come up with something smart to say in response. Specter is relentless, pounding into me, and when he throws his head back, his body tensing, his cock twitching inside me, a wave of warmth washes over me.
Fuck. He’s gorgeous when he comes.
He doesn’t let up on me at all though, slamming his cock into my prostate until I have no choice but to fall over that edge with him.
My cock spurts long ropes of cum into the air, shocking me with the intensity and the sheer amount of it. White spots fill my vision, and for a second, I wonder if I’m floating.
“Cashmere,” Specter whispers, gripping the back of my neck as he looks between us, watching my cock spill completely untouched, save for the friction we managed to create. That never happened before him. Not once. I didn’t know it could.
I’m so absolutely fucked.
Specter collapses on top of me, heavy and sweaty, and I drag my tongue along the column of his neck, tasting his musky scent. My cock actually twitches with interest, and I almost laugh.
He has his hands tangled in my hair as he presses his face into the curve of my neck. We lie like that until our breathing calms, our arms twisted together like we actually mean something to each other.
Do we?
Could we?
“Stay,” Specter murmurs before forcing himself up.
I watch his amazing ass as he disappears into the bathroom. Once he’s out of sight, I take several deep breaths to shove down the desire to run. I have nowhere to go, and for once, staying put might be a good idea.
I don’t know what we are to each other, but I am sure that he’s going to keep me safe. That’s not what I’m afraid of though. It’s the crumbling of another little piece of my protective armor every time he touches me that scares the fuck out of me.
When he returns, he’s holding a warm cloth. I try to take it, but he tsks at me, gently wiping my skin clean of my cum. I wish his was dripping out of me, marking me from the inside, proving that I really am his, whether I want to be or not.
“Do you need water?” he asks.
I shake my head, my eyes growing heavy. “I need sleep.”
He nods, gesturing to the spot behind me. I scoot back and slip under the blankets, feeling somewhat sheepish all of a sudden.
Specter climbs in beside me, turning on his side to face me. I’m expecting something arrogant from him, but as his eyes roam across my face, I feel my defenses falling away.
“Thank you,” he says. “For sharing your body with me.”
“It’s no big deal. You’re not the first guy I’ve let fuck me.” Why did I say that? Fuck.
“What if I’m the last?” He moves a little closer. “What if I never let you go? You could be fucked like that every day for the rest of your life.” His fingers move under my chin. “And if you try to tell me you weren’t impressed, I won’t believe you.”
I scoff but remain quiet.
Specter kisses my forehead. “Now get some sleep.”
Apparently, he doesn’t expect an answer, which is good, because I couldn’t possibly give him one. He was right—nothing will be the same after that. I just can’t decide whether that’s a good or a bad thing.
I watch Specter as he closes his eyes. He’s something else.
My hole is still throbbing from what he did to me, and that feeling brings a satisfied smile to my lips.
Maybe I could let myself enjoy this a little.
There’s no way it’ll last; that’s not who I am.
But while it does, I could… maybe. My breath catches as the thought comes to me and Specter’s eyes snap open.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”
For once in a very long time.