Chapter 30
Colson
Waking up next to Specter hasn’t lost its appeal yet. In fact, I like it.
I like knowing who I’m going to bed with at night.
I like sharing my body with only one man who can’t seem to get enough of me.
I like drinking coffee and having bagels with his ragtag family.
I like… being in love.
Stretching my arms above my head, I moan softly before wrapping my body around Specter’s sleeping form. He stirs, pulling me closer and nuzzling my neck. Warm. Cozy. Love.
It’s been several days since everything went down with Bradley. I wondered if some kind of guilt or unease would kick in, but nope. There’s just this lingering sense of relief and freedom that my past can no longer hurt me.
Whisper found out more about Bradley. Apparently he’s been in and out of prison and rehab for the better part of a decade. He had a wife briefly, but she divorced him, which resulted in one of his arrests after he tried to strangle her during a fight. Real class act.
But it was the stuff the guys found inside Bradley’s apartment that made my blood run cold.
The stack of photos they found made it clear he had been watching me for months before he attacked, waiting in the shadows, learning my routine, and I never noticed a thing.
I’m always so alert, but he just blended in.
My arrogance could’ve been my downfall if not for Specter.
He was obviously inside the club numerous times without me noticing.
“Morning,” Specter mumbles, his lips tickling my neck. “You okay?”
“Perfect.” I kiss the top of his head while I twist his curls around my fingers. “Just reflecting.”
“But you’re happy?”
I dance my fingers down his head to his neck, then his back. “Very. Thank you for being so persistent and for being so much more than I expected.”
He hums softly, pulling back to meet my gaze. “I’m glad you came around.”
“So am I.”
“Are you excited for tonight?” He brushes his thumb along my bottom lip. “All set?”
I nod. “Yeah. It’ll be fun doing something new.”
“Don’t be mad, but I called Jimmy. I’ll be there inside.”
I shake my head. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Because you know me and you know I wouldn’t miss that performance if the world was ending.”
I stroke his cheek, smiling. “I’m glad you’re gonna be there. I’ll be performing for you.”
Specter’s gaze softens. “I love you so much. It kind of blows my mind how much.”
“Blows my mind too. I spent a long time not feeling love from anyone. After my parents died I felt barren, you know? And my defenses were so high.”
“Rightfully.”
I nod, exhaling slowly. “But you wouldn’t let me stay behind my walls, would you?”
“No. I was and still am completely obsessed with you. You’re such an incredible soul. I’m so fucking lucky and grateful to have you in my life.”
My eyes well with tears that I smile and blink away. “I’m not mad at Bradley for what he did. I’m weirdly grateful for his unstable ass because he pushed us together.”
Specter shakes his head. “I’d rather you didn’t have to go through that though. I don’t like that you had to feel fear. I would’ve won you over eventually.”
I laugh softly. “You would have.”
“Do you want a bath, mon petit hérisson?”
“Later. I want coffee, and maybe I’d like to come.”
Specter’s smile lights up his face, full and free of his usual intensity. “You are my favorite breakfast.” He kisses his way down my body, sinking in between my legs, and I tilt my head back, dissolving into the feeling of his hot tongue on my cock.
He’s insatiable and the best lover of my life. I hope it’s always like this for us. At least until we’re too old to care anymore.
I really hit the life partner jackpot, didn’t I?
“Cashmere!”
I turn around to see Rudy barreling towards me, arms outstretched. I stand from my dressing table and allow the embrace.
“Why are you acting like we haven’t seen each other in years?”
Rudy giggles, shrugging. “I’m just happy to see you.”
I pat his cheek softly. “Happy to see you too. Are you excited for tonight?”
Rudy nods. “I’m coming out to this super heavy song, but it ends in the sexiest way.”
“What song?”
“‘The Summoning’ by Sleep Token.”
“Oh, yeah, I know that one. I’ve thought of dancing to it before too.”
“Glad I beat you to it. Your performance would ruin it for anyone else.”
“What does that mean?”
“Because everything you do is so iconic. I wouldn’t want to follow you.”
“Thanks, Rudy.” I study my sort of friend for a few seconds. Now that the dust has settled with Specter and the whole stalker mess, Rudy’s been on my mind. He’s a good person and I’ve repeatedly pushed him away. “You’re off tomorrow too, right?”
Rudy nods, fiddling with his hair in the mirror.
“Do you want to grab lunch or something?”
Rudy freezes, then slowly turns to face me. “What?”
I shrug as heat rushes to my cheeks. “I mean, if you’re busy or—”
“Yes.” He huffs a laugh. “Yes, I want to have lunch with you.”
Nodding, I blow out a breath. “Cool. Good. I haven’t been a great friend but—”
“You’ve been just fine.” Rudy grabs my hand and squeezes it softly. “I like you exactly how you are.”
My eyes start to sting, but I blink the tears back. Can’t ruin the makeup I spent an hour on. “I like you too.”
“Showtime,” Jimmy calls out, breaking the moment. “Doors are opening.” He appears in the doorway. “Cashmere, your bodyguard is here.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean here.” He nods his head to his left. “Can he come back for a minute?”
Rudy nods, squeezing my shoulder.
“Yes.”
Jimmy waves Specter in and he enters carrying a huge bouquet of flowers.
“Swoon,” Rudy whispers, moving over to his own table.
“Where did you get those?”
“I have my ways.” Specter bends and kisses the top of my head, also being careful of my makeup.
“Someone told me once that even in this cold, dark, sometimes violent world, there’s still so much beauty to be found.
” He hands me the flowers. “I can’t think of anything more beautiful than you, but these are nice. ”
“Oh my god,” Rudy says. “Is he for real?”
I wonder about that sometimes myself. “Thank you, mon tueur. They are lovely.”
“One more thing.” Specter opens his wool coat and pulls out a small stuffed hedgehog. “You needed a new one. I figured you could keep it here so you always have something that feels like home.”
Dammit. I blink to push back the tears. “Specter…”
“I’ll see you soon.” His eyes roam over me for several heated moments before he kneels in front of me. “The things I’m going to do to you tonight.”
My stomach flutters. “Maybe I had plans for you myself.”
“I’m your humble servant, your willing devotee. Whatever you want, you can have, even if I have to move mountains to make it happen.”
I cup his chin. “You’re more than enough.”
He takes my hand and kisses it before rising and walking out of the dressing room.
“Jesus Christ, Cashmere. How do you handle all of that?”
“It’s a lot, but…” I straighten my shoulders. “I deserve it. I earned a love like his.”
Rudy’s face lights up. “Hell yeah, diva.”
Ivy is up first, and he rushes into the dressing room for a few final touches. He’s doing his popular Poison Ivy aerial routine. It drives crowds wild.
Music is already pumping through the club, slightly muffled from here, and I finish dressing.
“Did you hear which band it is?” Rudy asks.
“No. You?”
“Yeah. It’s Crimson Velvet.”
“No way. Huh. I didn’t clock them as queer.”
Rudy gives me a hard look. “Seriously? You don’t remember that huge scandal with the lead singer banging his bass player?”
“No. When did that happen?”
“Like, three years ago. The bass player even left the band, but they got him back. Now there’s this electric tension and rage between them. Everyone thinks they’re the best they’ve ever been now.”
“That’s awesome. I don’t really listen to them. A little hard for my taste.”
“They can be. What’s your song choice tonight?”
“‘Closer.’ Nine Inch Nails, baby.”
“I fucking love that song.”
“I had to go last because I’m busting out a new trick.”
He grins. “What?”
“Oil. At the end. I think it’ll be awesome.”
“Can’t wait to see it.”
I can’t wait to see Specter’s reaction to it.
After popping a stick of gum into my mouth, I make my way toward the stage to take a peek at the audience.
I was expecting a smallish group of guys, but I was wrong.
It’s packed with men and a few women too.
I scan the crowd, spotting Specter against the wall by the door.
Gus is there too, along with two other men who are wearing band shirts.
Ivy is on stage, swinging around to “Kiwi” by Harry Styles, and the audience is having a good time. Rudy is out working the crowd, flirting with all the guys as he gets them to buy bottles, which probably isn’t too challenging with a group of rock stars and their friends.
I see the lead singer—I can’t remember his name—but he only looks mildly amused, slightly checked out, until he notices Rudy making his way over.
His face lights up with interest and I smile.
Maybe Rudy will have a special fan experience tonight.
He never hooks up with clientele, but I bet he’d be willing to make an exception in this case.
There are worse choices than a tall, muscular, tatted rock star.
Ivy’s act ends with a spectacular back flip before he slithers to the end of the stage, sliding up and down on his knees before tearing away the tiny loin cloth that was covering his barely there G-string. The lights go down and the audience claps and shouts for Ivy.
Rudy pulls himself away from the rocker, whispering something in his ear, and I see the rock star’s hand resting on Rudy’s hip. Oh yeah, that’s a connection.
I wrap my robe around me to hide my outfit, then head out into the club to do my crowd work.
I could do it with my eyes closed these days.
My aloof but teasing demeanor always gets the guys excited for more, and even though all I want from any of them is for them to spend more money, they don’t know that.
“Hey, sexy,” one of the guys says to me, reaching out and just barely touching my arm. I turn to him with a cool smile and pop my gum.
“Hey there.”
“You dancing tonight?” he asks.
“Yes. After this dancer.”
His eyes flick to the stage, then back to me. He licks his lips as his gaze roams over me, then pats his lap. “Can you sit?”
“That depends. What do you want from me?”
He grins, dragging a hand through his shaggy blue hair. “Just a few minutes of your time.”
Nodding, I settle on his lap, draping my arm around his shoulders for balance. I’m not sure how Specter is taking this, but I don’t dare look. This is my job and he has to understand that.
“It’s Bastion’s birthday,” the man says.
“Sorry, I don’t know who Bastion is.”
He snorts a laugh. “He’s the lead singer.”
“Ah. And you are?”
“Drummer. Just call me Styx.” His hand moves to my lower back, dangerously close to breaking some club rules, but Jimmy already told us to be gracious tonight. The band paid a shit ton of money to get a private showing. “What’s your name?”
“Cashmere.”
“Mm. Fitting. You’re fucking gorgeous.”
“Thanks.”
Styx’s dark eyes rake over my face, and I study his in return.
It’s pleasant enough, but he’s got a lot of piercings, and he’s playing with the hoop in his bottom lip with his teeth.
He’s also got tattoos covering most of his flesh except for the very center of his face.
Not my type even if I wasn’t wildly in love, but I imagine he doesn’t have any trouble finding people to grace his bed.
“Are you queer?” he asks.
“Yes. I assume you are as well?”
He nods, licking his lips. “It’s been a while though.”
“What has?”
“Since I’ve had some decent dick.”
“Oh.”
“Know where I could find some? Someone exquisite like you?”
“I doubt you have trouble finding willing participants.”
“Not you?”
“I’m already locked down. Sorry.”
Undeterred, he slides his hand up my back. “He doesn’t have to know. I’ll be gone tomorrow and you’ll never see me again.” Styx leans a little closer. “But you can tell all your friends you fucked a rock star.”
I study his face. Of course he’s arrogant. Why wouldn’t he be? “So you think your dick is worth blowing up my life just so I can have bragging rights?”
“Nine inches, gorgeous. And I know how to use it.”
I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes. I’m no size queen. I’d rather enjoy the interaction than be worried about my internal organs.
“Ooh, so tempting,” I purr, even though there’s nothing less tempting I can think of at the moment. I run my fingers under his chin, breathing softly. As predicted, he leans into my touch, his eyelids fluttering. “If you’re a really good boy, maybe I’ll see what I can do.”
His eyes heat and he nods, swept up in my trance. He doesn’t stand a chance in hell, but I’ll let him think he does until the tab is closed out.
I slide off his lap, moving to the next table but allowing my eyes to shift to Specter.
He’s watching me, his gaze pure lust. Thank fuck.
I worried I might trigger his protectiveness, but no, that’s something else.
That’s a man who’s confident he’s already got me locked down, and he does.
He trusts me. That knowledge warms my entire body.
When Rudy’s song comes to a close, I slip backstage to get ready. I’m going to blow the roof off this place tonight, and I’m so excited Specter gets to witness it.
It’s for him, after all.