Chapter Fifty-three — Trinity
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
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TRINITY
Istartled awake as a blanket slid around me. Brooks was with me, tucking me in before sliding in behind me, not hesitating to pull me close. “How long have I been sleeping?”
“A couple of hours. While we cleaned up and all the way back from the arena.”
And then, my brain being a bit clearer, I realized it was only Brooks with me. “Where’s Bastian?”
“I’m sure he’ll be here in a bit.”
I rolled so I could see him. Fuck, my body ached. I was going to hurt tomorrow, but in Bastian’s words, it was worth it. “Quite the reporter pivot there, but not what I asked.”
A faint smile, but I could tell he was hesitant. “I think he’s in the gym. The one downstairs.”
“Why?”
“Needed some time to decompress.”
My eyes narrowed. “Why does that feel like something that’s correct but also not the truth?”
Brooks squeezed my side gently. “Just give him some time, Rin.”
“Why?” I asked again.
Brooks sighed. “He struggles with the most feral part of himself. Sometimes it takes a bit for him to get out of his own head after an intense scene. Especially if he thinks he went too far.”
I gasped. “What?”
Brooks pulled me back down when I went to jump out of bed. “Let him be, Rin.”
I slipped past him—though I wasn’t moving as fast as I normally would—and pulled on a pair of long, comfy thigh-high socks.
I was in pajama shorts and a camisole. He must have dressed me before I woke up.
“If I was stewing in my head about something that was untrue, none of you would even hesitate. If he tells me to leave him alone, I’ll go.
But I’m not going to let him beat himself up over nothing. ”
Brooks smirked, eyes dragging up the socks to my barely there shorts and camisole. Not exactly what I’d normally leave the apartment in. “Come back when you’re done,” he said. “Your aftercare isn’t over.”
“Okay.”
I stopped in Bastian’s room on my way down the hall and grabbed a hoodie. It was too long on me, covering my shorts completely so it looked like I was only in a hoodie and socks. But smelling like him—rich leather, clove, and a hint of smoke—was the only option right now.
The lights were low in the hallway to the gym when I stepped off the elevator. I had no idea what time it was, but probably late, so I didn’t even think we were supposed to be in here. Not that anyone would say anything to Bastian or any one of the Breaker Pack.
No music played, and for a second, I thought that Brooks was wrong and he wasn’t here. It didn’t sound like anyone was in here. No machine or weight sounds…
There.
Towards the back of the gym, Bastian sat on a bench. He was still in the same clothes he’d chased me in. His fighting shorts and the sleeveless hoodie he’d worn before the fight. It was open, showing off his body and tattoos. He leaned forward, elbows on knees, his head hung low.
“Bastian?”
His body stiffened at my voice, and he looked up at me. The brief seconds our eyes connected hit me in the chest. There was such misery there, and like hell was I going to let it stay.
“Are you dropping?”
Doms could drop too. I did more research after we met.
Bastian was already building his walls, so I didn’t have long. I pushed his shoulders up and climbed onto his lap, straddling him on the bench before wrapping my arms all the way around him and burying my face in his neck.
I still smelled me on him. The strange beauty of scenting us together made heat rise beneath my skin.
Slowly, Bastian closed his arms around me, holding me far too lightly.
“Brooks told me not to come,” I whispered. “But he said you felt like things went too far, and I needed to tell you that they didn’t.”
Large fingers gripped my waist, squeezing and releasing like he was unsure if he was going to push me away. “I was in rut,” he said.
“And?”
One hand slid up my spine until he reached my hair, tugging me back until he could see my face. He looked back and forth between my eyes. “I could have hurt you.”
“But you didn’t.”
Deep lines appeared between his brows. “I threw you to the ground. It was—” I watched his throat move as he swallowed. “Much further than I’d planned.”
He wasn’t wrong. It had been a bit unexpected. But he also told me to use my safe word, and I told him no. Did he not remember?
“You ordered me to safe word. I didn’t.”
Bastian frowned. “What?”
“You pinned me to the wall. Told me to safe word before you couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to. I knew what would happen.”
He searched my face once more, sudden recognition flooding his own.
“Remember?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” I smiled, but Bastian didn’t. “And you think you threw me down, but all I remember is that you took me down without hurting me. I’m not sure how you did it, but I’m okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
I wrapped myself around him again. “You wouldn’t have me apologize for going into heat. Why are you apologizing for this?”
He didn’t have to answer for me to understand.
Because, once upon a time, someone had been afraid of him.
And he viewed himself as a monster. Maybe there were times when he could be, but I wasn’t scared.
I didn’t believe Bastian would hurt me. Even out of his mind, he would see me just the way I could always see him. No matter what was happening.
He sighed and held me tighter, some of the tension in him easing. It wasn’t gone, but it was better.
I let my hands creep up the back of his head, scratching his scalp gently with my nails as he leaned into the touch. “You should go back upstairs,” he said. “Aftercare.”
“You need aftercare too.”
Bastian’s arms came hard around me, dropping his face into my neck as he purred. I felt the purr all the way down to my toes. It melted me back into my sleepy, soft state, clinging to him so I could stay upright. Now that I knew he was okay, I was ready to sleep and snuggle.
I wasn’t sure how long we sat there, only that I was comfy and drifting when Bastian shifted his hold to my thighs, keeping me stable against him as he stood and slowly took me back upstairs. Where I could rest between him and Brooks, the way it was supposed to be.