Chapter Sixty-six — Logan
CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
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LOGAN
Watching Cecil’s pack grab as much as they could and shove it into their cars was gratifying. Not as gratifying as if they’d been arrested and thrown in prison for the rest of their lives, but gratifying.
And the prison thing still wasn’t out of the question if I had anything to say about it. Cecil watched them like a hawk, giving nothing away, face a stony mask of fury.
I’d never seen him like this.
The Beta was short, a little portly, and with his glasses and constant enthusiasm looked more like a man who took people on safari than one of the world’s most renowned photographers. Certainly not someone who was on the verge of violence, like he was in this moment.
He stood on the front steps with his hands in his pockets, watching them pack in a frenzy. “I should have seen it,” he whispered. “How the fuck didn’t I see it?”
“Is that an actual question?”
“It can be.” When he met my gaze I saw the rawness there. The grief. So similar to his daughter.
“I’m not going to tell you everything,” I said.
“That belongs to Rin. But I will say that Trinity cried when we brought her down to the surfing competition.” The others told me about her reaction when they presented the idea.
“She assumed we wouldn’t want her to go because you never asked her to go anywhere with you. ”
I saw the words land. The pain. I took no pleasure in hurting him, nor was I going to pull my punches when it came to this.
“You didn’t see it because you didn’t want to see it.
That same day, when we ‘met’ Trinity out at the pool?
She left the minute Val and the others came outside.
You said yourself that she never talks about them.
And it takes no skill at all to look at them and see the way they treat her.
We saw it and we didn’t even know her yet.
“I’m not saying this to be cruel. I’m telling you because they might have been the ones who abused Trinity, but you’re part of it too. You left her behind so many times she assumed what Val said was correct. That you didn’t want her, even if you loved her.
“You didn’t see it because you didn’t care to look.”
Tears filled his eyes. “I’ve always wanted her. Nothing you said is untrue. I—” He shook his head. “I never knew I could look back on my life and see it in an entirely different light. I’m a fucking photographer. Perspective is literally my job, and somehow I didn’t think to look from hers.
“Trinity kept her distance after she moved out. I thought she had her own life and wanted her freedom as much as I enjoyed mine. Fuck, I even resented her a little for pulling so far away. And now I know why.” His voice broke. “I don’t know how she can even look at me.”
Val and Paige shoved back through the door under Aiden’s watchful eye for another load of their bullshit.
“Trinity loves you,” I told him. “She really does. That’s what Val used to control her. How much she loved you and didn’t want to hurt you. And she knows that you love her. Just not enough.”
“Fuck.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know what to do. What the hell do I do? There’s so much, I can’t even see a way to start fixing it.”
“Listening would be a good start. As long as she needs you to, and no matter how hard it is to hear. Take it from me, it’s not an easy thing to sit through.”
He nodded. I turned to go back inside and had one more thought. “It also has to come from you.”
“What does?”
“Everything. It’s not Trinity’s job to fix this for you.
It’s not her job to reach out or make you feel better about what’s happened.
I love your daughter very much, and I will stand behind whatever she needs, but I will not allow her to manage your emotions.
You want to fix it? Own the fact that you fucked up and do the work.
And frankly, I really shouldn’t have to tell you that. ”
Shame flooded his face. He looked at the ground. “I know.”
“I’ll be out there with her when you’re ready.”
Bastian was posted at the bottom of the stairs, I assumed to make sure they went where they were supposed to and not into other areas of the house.
Now that I could feel echoes of the others through our bonds with Rin—which was really fucking weird, but also cool—I felt that he held just as much molten anger as I did. As we all did.
Trinity felt calmer now. I found her curled up in Theo’s lap with a mug of tea that was about the size of her face. “They’re almost out.”
“Good riddance,” my mother said. “We were civil, but I know they weren’t fans of mine either. Neither of us was looking forward to cohabitating.” She leaned back and looked at the house. “It might be a good time to start fresh where that’s concerned.”
A flash of hope burst through Rin. I wanted that for her. If Cecil did what he could to fix everything, and I believed he would, my Omega deserved a place she could visit her father without being constantly triggered.
“That’s an amazing idea,” I said, pulling up a chair. “Plus, I don’t know that you and Cecil need quite this much space. Especially if you’ll still be traveling.”
“We might be, but not for a bit. Until after the wedding at least.”
Mom glanced at me with a smile that I returned. I knew my mother well enough to know that her comment was meant to soothe Trinity. Her dad wasn’t going anywhere for a while. There would be a chance to heal.
It wasn’t long before Cecil, Aiden, and Bastian joined the rest of us.
“They’re gone,” Cecil said. “They won’t be back. If they want any of the shit they left, I’ll ship it to them. And I’ll be speaking to a lawyer to see just how many charges I can press.”
Trinity looked at him in surprise and a little awe. “Doesn’t it hurt?” She asked. “They’re your pack.”
“They were my pack. Biology isn’t everything.
Just because our instincts recognize something doesn’t always make it right.
And it certainly doesn’t excuse what they’ve done.
I have Liz. I have you. I have your mates.
My life won’t be missing anything because they’re gone.
” He sighed and sat in the chair next to Mom.
“To answer your question, yes. It does hurt. It will take a while to make sense here.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “But it hurts even more that they could feel this and do that to you.”
Liz stood. “I think I’ll finish making dinner. Boys?”
I was watching Rin. She bit her lip, her fingers tapped her legs, and her bond jangled with nerves even on Theo’s lap. “If Trinity’s okay with it, I’d like to stay.”
She nodded. “Yes, please.”
Everyone else stood and made their way toward the house, our pack kissing or touching our Omega when they could. I moved over next to her.
The silence was deafening.
Cecil cleared his throat. “I have no idea what to say, Trinity. Whatever pieces of this you feel you can tell me, I’d like to hear them. But first…” A low sound that made it clear he was holding back tears. “Is it true that you think I didn’t want you?”
The fear I felt from Trinity broke my heart. I had no plans to interject unless she asked me to, but I was here. I pushed as much love and comfort as I could to her without moving. Her scent was brittle and sour, but not nearly as awful as when she’d been triggered, thankfully.
“Sometimes,” she said quietly. “Not all the time. You…” Huffing out a breath, she pulled her legs up onto the chair and wrapped her arms around them.
“You never came back when you said you would. Not once. You always put those days on my calendar, and they would come and go. And you never asked me to go with you.”
“I didn’t know you wanted to.”
I was so proud of Trinity for the way she kept herself calm.
“Yes, you did. I asked you all the time when I was younger. Then one time you said that I was too little, and to not ask you anymore, because you would tell me when I was old enough to go with you. And you never told me I was, so I never asked again.”
Cecil removed his glasses and dried his eyes with his shirt. “Before we go any further, I need you to know. There was never a time when I didn’t want you. I clearly haven’t been the father I thought I was, or the one you needed, but I wouldn’t trade having you for anything. I love you.”
Trinity ducked her head into her knees with a quiet sob.
He stood and went to her, kneeling in front of her chair.
“I am so sorry. There’s nothing I can say to make up for any of this.
There’s not anything I can do to take it back.
” He paused. “And I’m so sorry you didn’t think you could come to me with any of it, or that I’d be angry with you. ”
Trinity’s crying interrupted him. He reached out and hesitated, changing his mind. “I only hope that at some point you’ll be able to forgive me for not being a better father. For not doing right by you.”
He set a hand on her knee, and she grabbed it. For a second I thought she would throw off his touch, but she grabbed it and held on like a lifeline. She finally raised her head. “I hope I can, too.”
When Cecil opened his arms, she unfolded into them. I had to rub my chest to soothe the ache. It was far from reconciliation, but it was the beginning. The wound was far too deep and had been there too long to heal easily.
“If you can tell me, I want to hear it,” Cecil said when he let her go. “I want to know exactly the damage they caused. Not only so I can attempt to fix it, but understand how much they have to answer for.”
Rin wiped away some of her tears. “I’m not sure I can tell you all of it tonight. It’s a lot. I think I need a break. Maybe we can do it another time this week, or I can write it all down, or something.”
“Whatever you need,” he said. “Truly.”
She laughed once without humor. “I don’t know what I need, but I’ll let you know.”
“Can I have one more hug?” He asked.
“Yeah.”
I stood. “I’ll go check on the food and be right back.”
They barely noticed me slipping away. I still heard them behind me.
“I really do love you, Trinity. I love you so much.”
“I know. I love you too.”