8. Aaron
8
AARON
I 'm hunched over my workbench, fletching arrows, when I hear the crunch of tires on gravel outside my cabin. I freeze, hoping whoever it is will go away, but then there's a knock at the door. I know that knock.
"Aaron, open up! It's Wes."
I sigh, setting down the arrow and wiping my hands on my jeans before trudging to the door. I crack it open, peering out at my brother. "What do you want?"
Wes pushes past me into the cabin, his eyes sweeping over the cluttered space. "What's going on with you, man? You missed the barbecue, and now you're holed up here like a hermit."
I shrug, avoiding his gaze. "Just been busy with work. Got a lot of trips coming up."
"Bullshit." Wes fixes me with a knowing look. "This is about that girl, isn't it? The one from the speed dating thing."
I feel my jaw clench. "Her name's Rena. And no, it's not about her."
Wes snorts. "Right. So you're just suddenly taking on extra solo trips for fun? Come on, Aaron. Talk to me."
I turn away, busying myself with straightening a stack of topographic maps. "There's nothing to talk about. It wasn't going to work out, so I ended it before it got too complicated."
"By ghosting everyone?" Wes's voice is incredulous. "That's so typically you, Aaron. What are you so afraid of?"
I whirl to face him, my temper flaring. "I'm not afraid of anything! I just... I can't do the whole relationship thing, okay? It's better this way."
Wes's expression softens. "Look, I know our parents' divorce messed us up. But that doesn't mean you have to shut yourself off from everyone. Based on the way you're acting, Rena sounds pretty special."
I slump into a chair, rubbing a hand over my face. "She is. But that's why I can't risk hurting her. I'm no good at this stuff, Wes. I'm better off alone."
Wes sits across from me, leaning forward. "You don't really believe that, do you? I've never seen you light up the way you do when you talk about her. Don't throw away a chance at something real because you're scared."
I stare at my hands, my mind spinning. Deep down, I know he's right. As terrified as I am of messing things up with Rena, the thought of never seeing her again makes my chest ache.
Wes stands, clapping me on the shoulder. "Just think about it, okay? Don't let your past dictate your future."
I watch Wes drive away, his words echoing in my head. I can't shake the unsettled feeling in my gut, the nagging sense that I'm making a huge mistake. I need to clear my head, to get some perspective. I grab my backpack and head out into the woods, letting the familiar scent of pine and earth wash over me.
As I hike deeper into the forest, my mind keeps drifting back to Rena. The way she gets so excited over small things, the passion in her voice when she talks about her writing. I've never met anyone like her before, someone who makes me want to open up and take a chance.
But then the old fears creep in, the memories of my parents' bitter fights and the way their love turned to resentment. What if I end up like them? What if I hurt Rena the way they hurt each other?
Lost in thought, I don't see the loose rock until it's too late. My ankle twists painfully beneath me, and I go down hard, my backpack cushioning my fall. I lie there for a moment, catching my breath, my ankle throbbing.
As I slowly sit up, testing my weight on the injured foot, a sudden realization hits me. This is what I've been doing with Rena, with my own heart. Playing it safe, avoiding the risk of getting hurt. But in doing so, I'm missing out on something real, something worth fighting for.
I limp back to my cabin, my ankle aching with each step. But it's nothing compared to the ache in my chest when I think of Rena, of the hurt I must have caused her by pushing her away.
I can't keep running from this, from her. I need to make things right, to tell her how I feel. Even if it means facing my fears, even if it means taking a leap of faith.
Because the truth is, I've fallen for her. Completely, unexpectedly, irrevocably. And I can't let my past, my insecurities, ruin the best thing that's ever happened to me.