Chapter 25
MONTE CARLO, MONACO
I ndy woke up to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains. She sighed contently, shifting on her back, only to hear rustling around her room.
Slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking a couple of times to adjust her vision to the bright light. Miles was standing next to the window, busy with something he had set on the desk.
Sitting up, Indy rubbed her face. The swishing sound of her sheets made him turn around, and a soft smile spread across his lips when their gazes locked.
She felt her heartbeat pick up its pace, warmth dancing around her chest. The power he had over her was terrifying, yet exhilarating. “Good morning, stud. What a joy to be awoken by Clark Kent himself.”
Miles chuckled, adjusting his glasses atop his nose. “Morning, baby. You like the glasses, don’t you?” His morning voice, raspy and low, sent flashes of what happened a few hours ago through her mind. Scarlet bloomed on his cheekbones, and perhaps he’d been thinking about the exact same thing.
“Love them. You look sexy wearing them.”
“Am I not without them?”
Indy rolled her eyes. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
His broad grin, beautiful and rare, was a thing of savage beauty. Slipping his hands in his pockets, he sighed softly, and she felt like free falling in an endless abyss of devastation as she stared back into his starry eyes full of adoration.
“What?” she asked when he slightly shook his head.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” The blush on his face deepened before he cleared his throat. “Here.”
He brought a tray to the nightstand, then handed her a glass of water. Atop the tray sat a tall glass of iced matcha latte and a bowl of oatmeal, topped with fruit and a drizzle of peanut butter.
“Wow,” she said after taking a long sip of water. “All of this to thank me for giving you head last night?”
Miles pinned her with a glare, though the corner of his lips twitched. “All of this to show I care about you, you damn idiot. Best head of my life, though.”
Not wanting to think about the fact Miles had been with other girls before her, she leaned back against her pillows, chuckling. After taming her hair in a braid, she grabbed the iced beverage. “Thank you, Golden Boy.”
The soft look on his face, the small smile etched on his lips, made her want to pull him in between her bedsheets. Then, she thought again about his fingers bringing her towards the pinnacle of pleasure, his lips claiming hers, his tongue on her.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he warned, jaw tightening as his eyes drifted to her chest.
“Can’t help myself.”
“As much as I adore having your pretty eyes on me, I just have to remind you that we’re leaving for Miami today, and you need to pack.”
Indy’s head fell backward. “Way to ruin the mood.”
Miles looked amused by her sudden frustration and walked to her closet to retrieve a large suitcase. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it started for you.”
“No, it’s fine, I’ll just?—”
“Indy,” he cut in. “Just tell me what to put in there. You’re taking your little vibrator?”
Choking on her drink, she gave him wide eyes, feeling heat creep up her neck. “Depends. If you plan on making me come with your tongue, fingers, or cock, then I won’t be needing it.”
A muscle popped in his tight jaw. “Who says you can’t use everything?”
“Keep talking like that, and we will definitely miss our flight.”
“Tempting.” From her desk, he grabbed the sketch pad he’d gotten her at the beginning of the season. “We’re taking this, right?”
She smiled at the gentleness woven into his tone. “Yes, please.”
“Can I look through it?” he asked, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. At least he wasn’t running away from what had happened last night. Still, they needed to talk about it.
“Go ahead. They’re not especially good, but drawing helps me clear my head when we travel.”
He was silent as he flipped page after page. Anxiety was clawing at her stomach as she sipped on the drink, watching his muscular back rise and fall. Showing her art was akin to sharing deep secrets. Not many people in her life had the opportunity of flipping through her sketches, but Miles made her feel safe. Something about him made her want to share the deepest parts of herself, knowing he’d see and understand her.
“Indy,” he exhaled without turning around. He ruffled his hair, chuckling like he couldn’t believe what he was staring at. “These are amazing. I’m so in awe of your talent, it’s unbelievable.”
Indy could feel the emotion burning her eyes. Of course, she’d been complimented in the past for her art. Of course, she’d sold a couple of commissions. But not once had someone told her they liked her art when it was still a draft, messy and incomplete. Not once had she been told that she was talented when the initial intention behind a drawing was simply to let her mind loose.
She felt a lump grow inside her throat. Setting the glass down, she pushed the duvet off her legs. “Huxley?”
He was still flipping through the book. “Yeah?”
“Why did you buy my painting? Why did you bid so much on it?”
Finally, he turned to her. Her heart nearly lodged into her throat, battering so furiously that she wondered why this man was having such a powerful effect over her. “Because I love your art. I love the way you pour your soul into it. Because it speaks to me.”
“Three million euros, Huxley… I’m not worth this much money. I’m—I don’t matter that way.”
He set the book down, tugging her in by the hip until she was straddling his lap. He searched her gaze as his fingers gently tucked a strand of hair behind an ear. “You are priceless, Indigo. I will spend my money on you, no matter how much anything costs me. I will buy your work and open a gallery just to expose your art, even those silly mugs with hearts painted on them. You matter so much, and so does everything you do . I bought the painting because for one, those people who bid a couple of thousand bucks for it do not know a single thing about art. They wanted it because the Indigo Bailey made it, and they would have never looked at it the way I do. And two, I truly love it.”
It was way too early to be shedding tears. She sniffled, a wobbly smile growing on her face. “Thank you. I’m so glad you bought it.”
“So am I,” he whispered.
Searching for her words carefully, she wound her arms around his neck, his gaze darkening at their sheer proximity. As her fingers found their way through his soft hair, his hands roamed over the outsides of her thighs. His soothing touch was everything to her. “Can we talk about last night?”
“You mean this morning,” he teased with a knowing smile.
“Yes, smartass,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “Can we just talk?”
“Of course.”
She felt her cheeks heat up as he patiently waited for her to open up.
“I know it used to be different before I became your roommate. I didn’t mind hooking up and keeping it casual?—”
“But it hurt you, didn’t it? I hurt you.”
She swallowed the tight knot that had built inside her throat. “You did,” she confessed. Pain flashed in his eyes, but he simply nodded, like he understood her feelings. Like he was accepting the damages he’d done. “I don’t want you to use me and run away. I want you to communicate with me, tell me about your feelings, even tell me when you want space for some reason. I’d rather that than be left confused and asking myself what I did wrong for you to distance yourself like that.”
His brows knitted together. “I’m so, so sorry. You know I never meant to hurt you. I was so focused on racing—I still am—and to be honest, seeing you was always a good distraction in the way that you made me feel good, both physically and emotionally. Being in your company simply reminds me that I can be myself. That there’s no need to pretend. I’ve never wanted to use you, Indy. Now that we’re always together, I know that what I’ve been feeling for you is not just lust. It’s always been more than that, and like I said last night, I’m scared of feeling.”
She loved his honesty. His sincerity as he held her gaze. Deep down, he was just a man exploring his feelings, and perhaps he was terrified of his blooming sentiments for her. If she, too, consumed his every thought the exact same way he did with hers, Indy would understand why he was confused.
“I thought you didn’t do feelings.”
“I didn’t,” he confirmed. “Past tense.”
“So this is not just sex?”
He shook his head. “It’s not like before.”
Knowing he was on the same wavelength made her sigh in relief. “Is there something else you’re scared of?”
He seemed to think for a second, his thumb drawing light circles on her thigh. “Iguanas? There’s just something about them?—”
“No, you idiot,” she chuckled, lightly smacking his chest. “Are you scared of falling for me?”
“I think, deep down, we’re all terrified of falling in love. What if I not only hurt you, but I end up hurting myself in the process? What if I fully let you in and you betray me? What if it’s just temporary and you end up leaving? I’ve been abandoned in the past, and that isn’t something I wish to live again. I’m trying my hardest to understand that I can trust you, that I’m safe with you.”
She cradled his face, the roughness of his stubble scraping against her palms. “You are safe with me. You will always be. It’s okay to be scared, because I am, too. But if you let yourself fall, I promise that I’ll fall with you. Just don’t push me away.”
“I won’t, I promise.” He brushed a light kiss to her lips, and there was so much adoration in his act. So many promises. “You’re so good to me, Indy, and I’m terrified of losing you. Of making a mistake. I’ve walked away from you one time too many, and it hurt me, too. I’m not leaving this time, alright?”
She’d wait for him—no matter how long it would take for him to be ready. To commit. To fall in love and accept to be loved, too.
“I’m holding you onto that,” she whispered.
“Besides, if Kai ever learns that I’ve hurt you, he will strangle me to death.”
She snorted softly. “Kai doesn’t even have the guts to kill a spider. He could never harm you.”
Miles gave her a look. “Are you sure about that? He loves you more than anything. I’m pretty sure no one can harm his baby sister.”
“True.”
“But what about you? What scares you? And don’t say pigeons, because I already know you’re scared shitless of them.”
Indy shuddered, burying her face in the crook of his neck. His soft chuckle rumbled against her, and he gently caressed her back in soothing circles.
“I’m scared of being alone,” she admitted, a weight being lifted off her shoulders. “Of rejection. Of failing and not being good enough. I’m scared of being replaced, whether it’s at work or with my friends.”
His forehead fell against hers. She closed her eyes, letting his murmur caress the indentations on her heart—giving him the power to mend the secretly broken pieces. “There’s no one like you, Indigo Bailey. You are irreplaceable. You’re unique, captivating, intelligent, and worthy of good things. You’re also a human being who can make mistakes, but you’ll always be enough, okay? And those mistakes don’t make you less of a great woman because you’re selfless with the way you always put others’ happiness before your own. And you are not alone. Never.”
She allowed him to wipe a stray tear from her cheek, leaning into his touch.
“Tell me you understand,” he demanded in a whisper.
“I understand.”
The gentle kiss he placed on her mouth made the butterflies caged inside her chest bat their wings wildly. “We’ve got each other.”
And as long as they had each other, as long as there was a place for her in his once jet-black heart, Indy was okay. Everything she had once wished for was finally becoming hers, and there was no greater feeling than knowing the dreams she had chased were on the cusp of falling into the palm of her hand.