Chapter 7
Chapter 7
S ully had an early flight the next morning. The airport was too far away for Poppy to accompany him, so they settled for breakfast again instead.
“I wonder when all of this will stop feeling surreal,” he said.
“It stopped for me the first time I threw up,” she said.
“Right. Your reality is a lot clearer than mine. A couple of days ago I was in Texas, and now I’m in New York and I spent the last two nights physically sleeping with the mother of my child, a woman I barely know, surrounded by her multitude of roommates. I have no idea how to go home and act normally after this.”
“It will be easy for you to do because I won’t be there. Everything will go back to how it was before.”
“When are you going to tell Bailey the news?”
She blew out a breath. “I’m going to hold off as long as possible, but I’ll definitely give you a heads up before it happens. And I could leave your name out of it entirely. Otherwise you should probably make plans to flee the country and change your identity.”
“That seems like the coward’s way,” he said.
“I am a coward,” she informed him.
“I meant for me. Not taking public responsibility? Who does that?”
“Someone who wants to continue to live or, at the very least, keep his friendship with my sister alive,” she said.
Now he blew out a breath. “Seems wrong, but we have some time to think on it. Please keep me updated on your health and your progress finding a new situation. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” she assured him. “I’m Miss Independent.”
It was hard to take her seriously when she was so adorable. With her dimpled cheeks and flowery dress, she looked eighteen again. “I want to give you some money,” he said, reaching for his wallet.
She put her hand on his. “I can’t accept it.”
“Why not? You’re bound to have expenses. It could help you get settled in a new place.”
She shook her head.
“I’m half responsible for this,” he reminded her.
“I know, but taking cash at this stage of things when they’ve barely begun makes me feel like a surrogate.”
“I want to help,” he said.
“How about this—I’ll do it on my own, but if I get in a bind, I promise to reach out.”
“Do you promise, really?”
She nodded. “For now, I’m good, honest.”
“Okay.” Absently, he stirred his coffee. “About what we were talking about last night.”
She leaned forward. “Sully, this weekend has confirmed what I already suspected. I think you’re great. I mean, to be friends with my sister, you sort of already waived the preapproval process because, unlike me, she has spectacular taste in men. But here’s what I thought. Right now we’re on our way to being friends, and we’ve committed to raising the baby together amicably. If we tried to be something more, it might work. But then again it might not. My abysmal track record tells me it probably wouldn’t. We could be left with awkwardness and hurt that might take years to heal, that might massively negatively impact our child. I guess I’d rather hold on to what we know than take a chance on what we don’t.”
“That’s a bit more mature and well-rationed than I gave you credit for,” he said.
“It happens occasionally,” she said.
“I can’t say I’m not a little sad, Poppy. I think we could have something here. But I also can’t say I disagree. It’s not about us anymore. It’s about him or her and what’s best. I want to do this the right way, as gently and lovingly as possible. So I think you’re right, we’ll stick with friendship and work on that. However,” they stopped short outside her apartment building. “I can’t promise not to be attracted to you. I already was, and the fact that you’re carrying my child.” He thumped his hand over his heart. “It does something to me, something primal.”
She gathered his lapels in her hands. “The good news, Sullivan, is that you’re getting on a plane in a few minutes, heading far, far away to Texas, and it’s likely we won’t see each other again for a while.”
“I feel like I’ve heard this speech before,” he said, easing his arms around her.
“My point is that I think a kiss goodbye is wholly appropriate,” she said.
“I hope we’re always on the same page this way,” he said, dipping his head to kiss her. She stood on her toes and kissed him in return before abruptly pulling away and darting around the corner. She returned a minute later looking shaky and pale.
“That was not sexy, sorry,” she said, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead.
“I hate leaving you this way,” he replied.
“I’ll be fine. Lots of other women have gone through this, if the rumors are to be believed.” Despite her plucky words, she looked vulnerable, young, and uncertain.
He hugged her and kissed her cheek. “Please call if you need anything, please.”
“Promise,” she said, resting her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head, let her go, and forced himself to walk away. No matter how hard he tried to shake it, he couldn’t help but feel like he was doing the wrong thing. And no matter what he did felt wrong. He couldn’t very well quit his job and move to New York to look after her. That made no rational sense. Neither could he drag her back to Texas with him. He had no claim on her, zero. All he could do was stand helplessly by and hope she would take the vague offer of help he’d given. If she was anything like Bailey, she wouldn’t. Bailey would rather die than ask for help or admit weakness. Somehow he thought it was likely a family trait.
With a ridiculous amount of relief, he turned his mind toward work. There were a million and one little things that would require his attention when he returned, and he would gladly dive into them. Anything to avoid thinking of his current situation.
But when he landed in San Antonio, his current situation was there to greet him in the face.
“Surprise,” Bailey said as she and Cal met him at the airport. “We had some shopping to do, so we asked Brandt if we could pick you up instead. Do you want to grab a bite to eat, or are you ready to go straight home?”
“We could get something to eat,” he said, trying to keep the wariness out of his tone. Now everything felt tainted by the situation with Poppy. He felt bogged down by guilt, like the worst sort of person. Cal and Bailey were two of his closest friends, and now not only had he kept something monumental from them, it also involved them, however indirectly. He had never felt like more of a heel.
He rode in the back seat of their car like they were the parents and he was the recalcitrant teenager. Conversation wasn’t easy in heavy traffic, so they didn’t talk much until they got to the restaurant, a Tex-Mex place.
“So,” Bailey said, eyeing him. Sully tried not to squirm. “Cal informed me you had plans to visit my sister. Did that work out?”
Was he sweating? He felt like maybe he was and resisted the urge to dab his brow. “Yes. We ate together.” And slept in the same bed. Twice. I’m a total sleazeball, please forgive me. “I saw her apartment,” he added for the sake of honesty. “Are you familiar with her living arrangement?” He didn’t think she would think anything of his propriety tone. Anyone sane would be concerned.
“Yes, I’m aware. But she has George. Did you meet George?”
He blinked at her. “Yes. Have you met George?”
“I’ve known George forever. His dad and my dad were roommates at West Point.”
“Poppy didn’t say she’d known him that long,” Sully said.
“Technically she hasn’t. Poppy and George are a series of missed connections. I knew him from when they were little, but of course they don’t remember each other. After that it never lined up for them to know each other until the roommate thing came into being.” She leaned in and lowered her voice. “Don’t tell, but we’re all secretly hoping they get together.”
“Who is this hopeless romantic, and what has she done with my wife?” Cal asked.
“I know it’s unlike me. But Poppy has always been one of those kids who has to learn by doing. And usually that comes about in the hardest way possible. And she has terrible taste in men, seriously the worst. She’s due for a break, for something good, and George is a good kid.” She turned to Sully. “Did you get the sense there was a spark between them?”
“I saw it. I’m not sure Poppy believed it was there,” Sully said carefully.
“None of us have interfered because we don’t want to tip the scales in the wrong direction but,” she held up crossed fingers. “Poppy doesn’t like to be told what to do.”
“Miss Independent,” Sully said.
“Exactly.”
“That sounds like no one else in your family,” Cal said, turning to smile at her and squeeze her knee.
“Eyes on the road, boss,” she replied, poking his ribs.
The topic moved on to other matters. Sully tried to stay a part of the conversation, but he must not have succeeded completely when Bailey gave him a sympathetic smile and said, “You must be exhausted. Let’s get you home.”
“Sorry, I’m not great company. Lots on my mind,” Sully replied.
“Brandt told us a bit about the crime syndicate,” Cal said. “Sounds like a doozy.”
“It is,” Sully agreed, his brain turning to work with relief. They talked for a while longer and then began the long drive home. When they dropped him at his house, Bailey surprised him by turning to pat his knee.
“Thanks, Sul, for seeing Poppy when you were in New York. It was nice of you. I worry about her.”
“Bailey, I…” he began but didn’t know how to finish. As she stared at him with eyes so full of gratitude, he realized two facts: things were about to get a lot trickier than he ever imagined, and Bailey’s eyes were more like Poppy’s than he first noticed—surprisingly innocent and full of too much trust in him. “I enjoyed it.” It was the most honest thing he could say, and he still felt like the world’s biggest fraud. “Thanks for the ride. Night, y’all.” He slid from the car and wearily made his way to his house.