Chapter 21
Chapter 21
S ully showed up at Poppy’s house uninvited and unannounced. “Hey,” he said, trying and failing to sound innocent and unrehearsed.
“Sullivan Langford,” Poppy said, shaking her head in exasperation.
“Yes, Poppisandra Dunbar?”
“You’re ridiculous,” she said.
“What?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“You know what. You showed up here hoping to catch a glimpse of the guy. You plan to stand in the background and be intimidating, forcing me to explain your presence,” Poppy said.
“My child is going on a date, and I’m curious to see who the culprit is. You could marry this guy. In reality, I’m checking out my baby’s potential stepfather. This is not me being jealous and possessive; this is me being a good dad.”
“The joke’s on you, Papa. I’m meeting him there.”
“Where?” he asked.
“You’re delusional if you think I’m going to tell you that information,” she said.
“Do you think I’m going to get in my car and follow you like some sort of deranged stalker?” he asked.
She didn’t answer. He picked her up and gave her a squeeze. “You’re right, I totally would. I am much more okay with this in theory than in practice.”
“If you don’t want me to go, I’ll cancel. But,” she held up her hand before he could speak, “you should know this is completely casual. I know almost no one here. I haven’t been out much since I arrived. I’m not looking for a mate here; I’m looking for a friend and a bit of entertainment.”
He sighed. “Fine. But I am only a text away. If he turns out to be some kind of creeper who preys on pregnant women, I will come get you at any hour no matter what.”
“Duly noted. You can set me down now,” she said.
“Can I?” he said, continuing to hold her close. “You vastly overestimate my willpower.”
“As the recipient of your last lack of willpower, I really don’t,” she said.
“Hilarious.” He kissed her cheek and finally set her down. She reached for her purse. “Do you have your phone?”
“I have my phone.” She opened her purse and double checked it. “You know it’s highly likely your job has made you paranoid. Not everyone in the world is a psychotic criminal out to get each other. The guy in question in a perfectly nice individual who happens to enjoy art as much as I do. The end.”
“Fine. Go, but don’t have fun. Enjoy a bitter night of misery without me so you appreciate how good you have it.”
“’Kay,” she said, not bothering to rise to the bait he attempted to set before her. She walked to the grocery store, double checking that Sully wasn’t behind her. She wouldn’t put it by him to follow her. His protectiveness seemed overblown, and she wasn’t certain if it was jealousy or cop instinct that made it so.
Diego waited for her in his car, as they’d prearranged. Poppy didn’t know much about cars, but even she recognized the Jaguar symbol jutting forward from the top of the hood. She slipped into the car and he gave her a little smile.
“I have never met a woman this way on the sly before,” he said.
“It’s ridiculous, I know but,” she motioned to the tiny town. “Such is life in a small town. Thank you for agreeing to meet this way.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it.” He faced forward and then looked at her again. “You look stunning.”
“I look overfed, but thank you,” she said, patting her bump. She wished she could be like Bailey, whose weight gain remained centered on her midsection. No such luck as her already round cheeks appeared even rounder lately. Sully said it made her dimples look deeper but Poppy thought it simply made her look chubby. The extra weight made her feel insecure, so it was doubly odd that she found herself on a first date at her heaviest and most uncertain. This is my life now.
“Do you care to talk about it?” he asked. “I don’t wish to be intrusive, but it seems odd somehow that a woman such as you is in this situation alone.”
“I’m not alone. I’m just not romantically involved,” she said.
“So you and the, uh, baby’s father broke up?” he asked.
His curiosity was natural but she so didn’t want to talk about Sully tonight. “We agreed we’re better off as friends. What about you? Do you have any children?”
“Yes, I have two young sons. I love them dearly and wish things had worked with their mother, my ex-wife. As you said, sometimes thing don’t work out.”
Poppy’s first reaction was to pull back, to shut down. A man with an ex-wife and children, yeesh. So much baggage. Then she realized that from this moment on she would always have a child and a Sully, her own baggage. These little moments when she gained sudden insight into how much her life had already changed, how much it would continue to change, induced nothing less than panic. How did she get here? She wasn’t ready for this; she wasn’t ready for any of this.
“Why did you become a chef?” Diego asked, saving her the continued horror of staring into the scary abyss of grownup decisions her life had become.
“Because of my dad’s job. We moved a lot. A lot a lot, to different countries. Food was the one constant, the universal language of love. I developed an affinity for it, and my mom encouraged my interest by letting me cook and bake. I’ve never wanted to do anything else. What about you? What do you do?”
“Family business,” he said, tossing her a little smile that looked self-deprecating. “It was what was expected of me. If I’d had my way, I would have been an artist.”
“Did you ever try to do that instead?”
“No, no, no,” he said, shaking his head. “This is not one of those situations where I could even try. It is enough that I dabble, that I have a hobby.”
“Seems a little sad to me,” she said.
“You are young. Dreams are for youth. Responsibility, duty, honor, they are for the wise.”
A few months ago, Poppy would have argued with him, would have insisted dreams were worth following no matter the cost. Now she realized that wasn’t true. Some things were worth more than dreams and, in fact, dreams could do harm, they could be selfish. More often than not they had to be put away. She faced the window again, the salty taste of tears in her mouth.
Her dream of being a renowned New York pastry chef was in tatters now. All her hard work, all her training, gone in the time it took to kiss Sully in that gazebo. Why had she been so foolish, so stupid, so utterly reckless with her life? It hadn’t even been for love. It had been for a moment of adventure, for the thrill of kissing a handsome stranger in a far off place, a stranger who wore a cowboy hat and spoke with a sweet twang that had made her heart thrum.
“I’m sorry, did I offend you?” Diego asked.
Poppy forced a smile and faced him. “No. I suppose I’m merely coming to terms with the fact that I agree with you, that I’m no longer that girl who would have argued passionately in favor of dreams and rainbows and happy endings.”
“Let’s not throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. Just because we can’t always follow our dreams doesn’t mean we can’t have passion and happy endings,” he said. He gave her the kind of slow smile that likely would have made her heart turn over if she hadn’t just been thinking of Sully and the way his smile had made her heart do the same thing.
“I suppose the trick is in finding the balance,” she said, facing forward.
“That’s the trick to everything, I think.”
He took her to a new restaurant, something trendy and expensive. It was the first time since Poppy left New York that she felt the same thrill of being caught up in the food scene, of being surrounded by people who cared about trends and what was new in the food world. They split an appetizer of roasted bone marrow on sourdough toast points. The marrow was done perfectly, but Poppy secretly thought her sourdough was much better.
“How long were you and your wife together?” Poppy asked. She scraped out the last of the marrow, spread it on the toast, and handed it to him. He smiled as he took it, somehow realizing what a sacrifice it was for her to do so.
“We were high school sweethearts. We’ve been divorced two years,” he said.
“I’m sorry. Somehow it always seems worse when high school sweethearts split,” she said.
“I take it you split with your high school sweetheart,” he said.
“I never had one. I didn’t go to traditional school. My mom homeschooled us because we moved so much. What happened, if I may ask? Though, sorry, I’m insatiably curious. Please tell me to butt out if you’d rather not talk about it.”
“No, it’s okay. Usually I think most people would be hard pressed to pinpoint one thing that went wrong, but with us it’s very easy: my family.”
“She doesn’t like your family?” Poppy said.
“My family is…very entwined. We work together, we socialize together. We’re closer than most families, I’d wager. It got to be a bit too much closeness. She felt I always chose them over her.”
“Did you?” Poppy asked.
“Yes,” he said. He peeled back his sleeve to remind her of his tattoo. Family first. Unconsciously she reached out and traced it with her index finger.
“I thought when you get married, that becomes your new family,” she said.
“Most of the time, yes. In my case, no.”
“Hmm.” She realized she still traced absently over the tattoo and withdrew her hand, cheeks flushing. She was a highly affectionate person. Sometimes it came out in all the worst ways. The upside to having a baby soon was that she could cuddle it as much as she wanted and no one would judge her for it. Smiling, Diego reached for her hand and kissed the back of it. He was charming and sophisticated. But Poppy wasn’t certain she was in the mood to be charmed. If I ever get a tattoo, it will say “bad timing,” she thought. If she’d met Diego before Sully, she would have jumped in with both feet, flirted, tried to impress and amuse him. As it was now she felt almost wary and more than a little pessimistic over their prospects as a couple. On the other hand, they seemed to have similar tastes. It could be fun to have someone to try restaurants with, to go to galleries with. She had been feeling bored and restless lately and Sully certainly had no interest in those things. He was a homebody, thoroughly content to sit on the couch night after night watching sports. Poppy had read more books on his couch lately than she had read in all the years since high school.
The gallery was as fun and interesting as she thought it might be. Most of the artists were local and most were people Diego knew. He also knew the owner of the gallery. Being there, immersing herself in the art world, meeting new people, filled a need Poppy had tried hard to suppress. She had to get out more, even if she had to borrow a car and do it on her own. Her mom used to say she was aptly named because she was like a flower; she needed certain things to survive or she would wither and die. Affection, fun, adventure, and culture. Those were the things she needed, and those were the things she had been lacking since she arrived in Texas.
“You look happy,” Diego whispered as they walked to his car.
“I am,” she said. “Thank you for this evening. I can’t think of one part of it I didn’t enjoy.”
“You are most welcome,” he said. They reached his car and paused. Poppy thought he might kiss her, and she wasn’t certain if she wanted him to. Despite the enjoyable evening, despite the fact that he was handsome and pleasant, she still felt a certain reserve. If she had to put a name to it, it would be Sully. They weren’t together, they’d been clear on that. But still…
He didn’t kiss her, and Poppy was both relieved and disappointed. He patted his pockets, almost absently, and frowned.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
“I gave up smoking a year ago and I’ve been filling the void with chewing gum. It’s a nasty habit but one that will ensure more life with my kids. Only now I seem to be out of gum and in desperate need. Would you mind very much if we stop at a gas station?”
“Not at all,” Poppy assured him. He held the door for her, closing it behind her after she slid inside. They drove to a gas station a few blocks away.
“I’ll only be a moment. Do you need anything?” he asked.
She glanced at the gas station. It was the kind that made the good milkshakes. Could she reasonably request a milkshake at the end of a first date? “Nothing, thank you.”
He nodded and disappeared inside. Poppy rested her head on the seat behind her and then realized now was a good time to check her makeup and reapply some gloss. She pulled down the mirror, and that was when she saw it. Sully’s white work truck was parked a hundred feet away. She couldn’t see his face, but she could make out the outline of his hat. She withdrew her phone, ready to fire off an angry text.
“Forget it,” she mumbled. Stuffing the phone back in her purse, she pushed open the door, stomped to the truck, and yanked open the door. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”
“Ma’am?” A man stared back at her, shocked, alarmed.
“Oh,” Poppy said, her cheeks filling with heat. Was pregnancy making her crazy? She had been so certain this was Sully. Same truck, same white hat. “I’m sorry, please excuse me. I thought you were someone else.”
He gave her a little smile and a polite nod as she closed the door and walked away. She stopped short, whirled, and went back, knocking on the door this time. He lowered the window. “I’m sorry, but are you a Ranger?”
“Yes, ma’am. May I help you in some way?”
“No, I…” she shook her head as if to clear it.
“Are you in danger? Do you need help?” He nodded toward the gas station.
“No, everything is fine. He went for gum. I just…” she rested her hand on the bump, suddenly missing Sully with something like physical force. “Rangers are so iconic.” She smiled again, tossed him a little wave, and returned to Diego’s car to wait.