13 – Spike
D riving the pool cue into the gut of a man who just made me fucking wild at the bar, I watch him stumble backward, landing on the ground with a thump before his friend jumps onto my back. Growling, I spin angrily as his arm tightens around my throat. Roaring with frustration, I back into a wall so hard the wind is knocked out of him.
“Get the fuck out of my bar.”
A man in his late forties comes storming over, gun in hand, pointing it at me.
Panting, I glare at him as all the rage in my body consumes me. I want to gut these fuckers like the dirty, scummy fish they are. Baring my teeth at the man holding a gun at me, I growl, “He started it.”
“You came in here lookin’ for a fight, now you’re goin’ to leave before I take matters into my own hands. I know who you are, and you’re not welcome here.”
“It’s okay, I’m taking him.”
The familiar voice has my head turning to see Addison standing behind me, her arms crossed, a scowl on her face.
“You have three seconds.”
“Let’s go,” she growls, turning without giving me a choice.
Shooting one more look at the men I just tossed to the ground, I scowl and follow Addison outside. The moment the fresh air hits my face, I realize I’ve had far more to drink than I realized. It’s the only thing that is keeping me together right now. I have never felt so fucking empty. I miss my club, my kids, my woman, but I’m too fucking proud to admit it to anyone.
“What the hell are you doing, Spike?” Addison snaps, spinning on me with her arms crossing over her chest.
She’s a firecracker when she’s mad, but she doesn’t scare me. Not even in the slightest.
“Whatever you’re here for,” I snap, “I don’t fuckin’ care.”
“Well, the good news is, I’m not leaving until you talk to me, and you know how annoying I can be. I will follow you around, and nothing you say will change my mind. So, you either talk to me and I’ll leave, or we can be buddies for the next few days. Either way, I’m good with it.”
“Where are my kids?”
She raises her brows. “First of all, you don’t get to ask that considering you haven’t bothered to come and see if they’re okay. So, you just need to know they’re safe, and so is Ciara, in case you were wondering. Not like she has the cops after her for a murder investigation or anything ...”
I growl, low in my chest.
“Hit a nerve? Good, I’m only just beginning. Let’s go.”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere with you,” I bark as she begins walking away.
She looks over her shoulder. “Oh, but you are, because you know I mean what I say. Now move it, we have a lot of talking to do.”
With a frustrated grunt, I follow her.
She doesn’t go far, just a few blocks down to another bar. This one a little less rough than the one I just came from. She walks in and goes right to the bar, ordering some shots before turning to me and nodding at the vacant table outside.
“I’m already fuckin’ drunk,” I grunt.
“What?” she taunts. “Can’t handle it?”
I narrow my eyes and rumble deep in my throat before snatching a shot and shooting it down before we even sit at the table.
“How did you find me?” I mutter, sitting down and crossing my arms, the alcohol swimming around in my brain.
“There’s only one trashy bar in this town, and I know you love to hang around with trash, it was a wild guess but a good one.”
My jaw tightens.
“Now,” she goes on, taking a shot, “where should we start?”
“We’re not startin’ anywhere because I have nothin’ to say.”
She rolls her eyes. “Okay, I’ll start guessing until you finally crack.”
This pain in my ass will not stop until I talk to her, but that doesn’t stop me from clenching my jaw and keeping my mouth shut.
“You’re feeling like you’re not masculine now you don’t run a club so you thought you’d take over?”
I glare at her.
“No? You’re having erectile disfunction issues and you’re too afraid to talk to anyone so you thought this might make you feel like more of a man?”
“Back off,” I snap.
“I’m going to keep going.” She shrugs casually. “You are having some kind of midlife crisis and don’t know who you are?”
“For fuck’s sake, Addison.” I lose my shit, slamming my fist down onto the table. “I said enough.”
She ignores me.
“No need for violence. I’ll go on. You’re having feelings for another man and it’s making you wonder if you might bat for the other ...”
“I’m fuckin’ lost,” I bellow, causing the people at the table behind us to stop talking and stare.
Addison’s face softens, and her lips tip up a little, because she knows she’s won. “I’m listening.”
“I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore. Ever since I gave up my club, I’ve been followin’ everyone else’s orders. I’ve been watching the club turn weak, and I don’t fuckin’ like it.”
“You didn’t have to be part of this club, Spike,” she points out.
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Well, there must have been a reason you decided to merge with Jackson’s club. Do you remember what that reason was?”
“Family,” I answer, without thought.
Her eyes soften even more. “Exactly, family. They are your family, and you don’t like how he is running things but that doesn’t give you the right to do what you want. Did you ever think about just talking to him?”
“He won’t hear what I have to say.”
“That’s not what I asked you. I asked if you have sat down and told him what’s going on.”
I growl.
“I didn’t think so. Jackson is trying to keep the club out of trouble, and you might not agree with that, but what you were doing caused more harm than good. There has to be a middle ground.”
“Are you done?”
She shakes her head, taking another shot. “Nope. As I was saying, there has to be a middle ground, the two of you need to figure out a way to make it work.”
“You don’t think I’ve fuckin’ tried that?”
“No, I don’t think you have. I think you took matters into your own hands and now you are here, alone, and wondering why your life isn’t working out.”
Now she’s just pissing me off.
“Shut the fuck up, Addison.”
Unbothered by my tone, she goes on. “Ciara would go to the ends of the earth for you, but you’re hurting her. I know you don’t mean to, even if you won’t admit it, but I also know if you keep going down this path you’ll lose her, and that will destroy you.”
Hearing that sends a crushing feeling through my chest.
I feel fucking horrible for what happened at the club that night, and for the things I said to her, but I’m not in the right place to try and make that better. Right now I don’t even know what fucking day it is.
“So,” she goes on, “we can talk it out here, or you can keep going the way you’re going, but I know you don’t want that, and I know the club doesn’t either.”
“Jackson basically stripped me of any title I had.”
“You and I both know he didn’t do that. He was making a point, and he has a right to do that considering you were going against him. Tell me, Spike, what would you do to a member if they behaved the way you did?”
“I get your point,” I mutter.
“Good, then if you want things to change in the club you need to do it the right way. Tell him what you’re feeling, you might be surprised.”
I narrow my eyes, taking another shot. “I’m a fuckin’ biker, not a child.”
“Blah blah blah. Let’s drink.”
Fucking Addison.
She’s lucky I love her.
STANDING BEFORE ME , the club forms a group behind Jackson who is staring at me with those intense green eyes I can’t fucking read. I don’t know how they found me, but here we are, standing in the street, the crowd looking at us right as I was about to take off on my bike.
I don’t know if I was planning on going back to the club, or riding to Ciara, or if I was just going to find some time alone but either way, they got to me before I could. I know this is Addison’s doing. We had a hell of a night, and in the end, the pain in the ass had me laughing as we downed enough shots for me to feel like absolute crap today.
“What are you doin’ here, Jackson?” I mutter, crossing my arms, glaring at the people walking by with wide-eyed expressions.
Most of them look away.
“You know why I’m here; I have a daughter that won’t let shit go, but she makes a point.”
“So you bring the whole club and make a scene?” I grunt, leaning against my bike.
“We’re here because I fucked up. I didn’t see that you were goin’ through it. I stand by my decision because you went against me, but I own my part. So, we’re goin’ to get on our bikes and we’re goin’ to talk this out because we need shit to get back on track around here.”
I keep my mouth closed and stare at the group, then I nod sharply.
Jackson gives the group the all clear to break up and they do. He steps in front of me, extending a hand. I hesitate, but I take it because what he’s doing here is showing me that the club is on my side, and they always will be. I can’t be pissed about that. Not when he’s making it clear that my voice matters.
Fuck .
I take his hand, and he pulls me in, his other hand slapping down over my back in a show of respect.
He doesn’t need to say anything more.
“I’ll bring my bike around; we’ll ride, then we’ll talk.”
I nod again.
Then I get on my bike and wait for him.
We ride for an hour, just traveling down the winding roads, the wind in our faces, feeling the freedom that comes with this life. It’s everything, and I feel like a fucking idiot for nearly putting myself in the position of losing everything. Especially Ciara. Fuck, I hate the way I treated her. She deserves a fucking lot more than that.
She has always stood by my side.
Arriving at a lookout that extends all the way back to the ocean, we get off our bikes. I walk over, hands curling around the railing as I look out, the wind getting cold as the winter months creep closer. Jackson steps up beside me, not saying anything for a while, just letting the moment sink in.
Only then does he turn to me. “I was tryin’ to keep the people that matter to me safe.”
I don’t look at him, but I know what he’s saying. “I know.”
“But you’re right, we have lost our stance in this town and shit is gettin’ bad.”
I swallow the heavy feeling down and turn to him. “I disrespected you as the president of this club, but mostly, as my friend. Shouldn’t have done what I did. I fucked up. It won’t happen again.”
His eyes hold mine. “It won’t, because if it does, you won’t be part of this club.”
I nod. “I hear you.”
“We’ll clean up the mess, and you’re goin’ to be in charge of leadin’ that, but only if you make a plan, be smart, and don’t drop my club in hot water because what you were doin’ was fuckin’ reckless and stupid.”
“Yeah,” I mutter.
“We clear?”
“We’re clear.”
“Know you like havin’ the control, Spike, and one day there is a solid fuckin’ chance you will. I won’t be in this spot forever and you’re always the one I wanted in my place, but when you do stupid shit, I can’t trust you to do right by this club.”
“I hear you. It won’t happen again.”
He nods, then turns and keeps staring out.
“For right now, you need to help your woman. Someone is botherin’ her, and the cops are hot on her tail.”
My chest clenches. “Someone is botherin’ her?”
“Spray paintin’ her room, leavin’ threatenin’ notes. Someone thinks she killed that girl, and if we don’t fix it, she could end up hurt.”
Fuck .
What the fuck have I been thinking?
In all of this, she has been there handling this shit alone.
Now someone is out there trying to mess with what’s mine. I won’t fucking have it.
“Someone is threatenin’ her?”
Jackson nods. “Don’t know who, but I do know she isn’t havin’ an easy time at that school. Only so long before the cops roll in and try to cause problems. Problems we don’t need. The second they know she’s with you, they’ll target her.”
He’s right, they will.
“I’ll go there now.”
“Make sure the cops are put back in their place,” Jackson growls. “Do not let them put it over her just because she’s a girl.”
Oh, they won’t be putting anything over her. If I have my way, they won’t speak to her at all. Ciara is far from a killer, and she isn’t going to be brought down over something she didn’t do.
Guilt grips my chest.
I should have been there for her, I should have put my own shit aside and helped her, but instead I was too worried about my own fucking issues. Now she’s got some psycho following her around, wanting revenge for something she didn’t do. I won’t let that happen.
“I’ll get it sorted,” I say to Jackson, my voice a low whip.
“Do it on the low,” Jackson orders. “Don’t bring any more attention to her. The club has enough mess to clean up.”
Mess I made.
“Clear,” I murmur.
“Trustin’ you to do the right thing, Spike. Don’t let me down again.”
“You have my word.”
I might have fucked up, but it won’t happen again.
I’ll make sure this club is protected, but more than that, I’ll make sure nobody touches a single strand of hair on Ciara’s head.
I might be behind, but I protect what’s mine.
And Ciara, she’s fucking mine .