Chapter 51
CHAPTER 51
Logan looked at Ethan, one brow quirking at the sound of his sigh.
“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, fingers tracing idle patterns on the younger man’s shoulder.
Ethan hesitated before answering. “Nothing...” he replied, though his furrowed brow betrayed him. He shifted slightly against Logan’s chest, but didn’t pull away entirely. “I just wondered...” he trailed off before finally continuing. “Why did Devon back off so quickly when you said you’d call Alex? And who is Alex?”
Logan stiffened, a reaction so subtle that most wouldn’t have noticed it at all. But Ethan did. He always did. The dog tags around Logan’s neck clinked softly as his breathing changed.
“Just leave it,” he said firmly after a pause, though there was no anger in his tone, only weariness. “Let’s not do this right now. Just forget Devon; he’s history.”
But Ethan wasn’t ready to let it go, something about the way Logan deflected made him want to dig deeper. He propped himself up on one elbow, searching Logan’s expression for answers. “I need to know.” He leaned closer. “Is Alex his boyfriend? A partner?”
Logan’s jaw tightened, the same expression Ethan had seen when he was making tactical decisions under pressure. “No, Alex isn’t his boyfriend,” Logan gave a reluctant sigh. “Alex is his wife.”
The revelation sucked all the air from Ethan’s lungs as he jolted upright—his expression flipping between shock and disbelief faster than he could process.
“His... wife?” he repeated, as though saying it aloud might somehow make it make sense when it didn’t. “Devon’s still married?”
Logan exhaled heavily and reached out, wrapping a strong arm around Ethan’s waist, pulling him closer. The movement was firm but tender, as if grounding him back to reality. “It’s a long story.” His breath was warm against Ethan’s ear as he spoke, his tone low and tinged with an undercurrent of regret.
Logan ran a hand through his hair, pausing for a moment as if debating how much to reveal. “Yeah, they married back when he was a SEAL,” he began, each word deliberate, like he was carefully piecing together shards of a broken memory. “But when she found out he also liked guys… She walked out and he didn’t handle things well… he spiraled out of control… Started drinking, jeopardized missions, went completely off the rails.”
Logan clenched his jaw as though reliving the moment. “It was around that time that things got complicated between him and me.”
“You and Devon were…” Ethan left the question hanging, trying to process all this new information.
Logan nodded once, a sharp military acknowledgment. “We were together, briefly. It was a mistake. I was experimenting and thought I could help him—stupid, I know.” He flexed his fingers unconsciously, a habit Ethan had noticed he did before range practice. “He got hung up on me and… things didn’t go well. I broke things off when I realized it could end both our careers.”
He paused for a moment and let out a long sigh as he shifted closer to Ethan. He brushed a stray curl from Ethan’s forehead with surprising gentleness for someone who seemed so guarded most of the time.
“I thought he’d gotten help for his anger issues,” Logan admitted, his voice almost breaking under the strain of old wounds resurfacing. “I thought he’d finally sorted himself out, but I guess not,” he added bitterly, shaking his head as if trying to shake away the memories. “I heard he got back with Alex last year and they had a baby.”
“A baby?” Ethan repeated. He couldn’t reconcile this image of Devon, the man who had stirred such chaos within their lives, with that of someone playing house with a wife and child.
Logan nodded again, though this time it seemed more like an admission of defeat than confirmation. “Yeah.” He paused, letting silence stretch between them for a moment before continuing quietly. “I would have never taken you there, if I’d realized.”
Ethan frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I thought...” Logan hesitated, searching for the right words. His eyes flickered with regret, or maybe self-reproach. “I thought he was over that phase and was happy now.” He let out a hollow laugh. “Boy, was I wrong.”
Ethan swallowed, trying to make sense of everything. His mind raced with questions, but one stood out above all else. “So…” he began hesitantly, licking his lips nervously before finishing the thought aloud. “What about Alex? Are you going to tell her what he’s done?”
Logan’s face darkened slightly at the question, not with anger, but with the burden of making yet another impossible choice. He glanced down at where their hands rested on the bed and intertwined their fingers before answering. “I don’t know,” he admitted honestly after a long pause. “If he stays away from you… then I guess not.”
Ethan raised a brow skeptically. “You’re just going to let it slide?”
“It’s not about letting it slide,” Logan countered, sitting up straighter against the headboard. “It’s about knowing when something isn’t your fight to pick.” He sighed again and looked away toward the dimly lit window, as though seeking answers in the darkness beyond. “This life we live,” he continued, his tone more reflective now, “it’s a double life and it takes its toll on us all.” He met Ethan’s gaze directly. “We’ve all got secrets—things we’d rather keep buried.”
His lips quirked into a rueful half-smile. “Hell, I’m no saint, not after the things I’ve done.”
Ethan studied him for a moment before nodding. The tension between them eased slightly as they allowed themselves to settle back into each other’s embrace. A comfortable silence wrapped around them like a warm blanket, a stark contrast to the chaos that had defined their day until now.
“So…” Ethan continued after what couldn’t have been more than a few minutes’ silence between them. “Are you gonna stay the rest of the night?”
There was vulnerability hidden beneath his casual tone, like he was afraid of what the answer might be, but even more afraid of not asking at all.
Logan looked at him and smiled—a genuine smile this time that crinkled at the corners of his eyes and softened every hard edge about him. “You want me to stay?” he teased. His voice held none of its usual commanding presence, only a quiet affection.
Ethan reached for Logan’s hand, his expression serious despite the lightness he tried to inject into his voice. “I do.” He paused. “But I understand if it’s too risky.”
He leaned in until their faces were only inches apart again and their lips met in a slow, searing kiss full of unspoken promises. “After everything that happened today…” he murmured against Logan’s lips, locking eyes once more so there could be no mistaking how much sincerity filled every word he spoke. “…I just want you here with me.”
Logan ran his thumb across Ethan’s knuckles, his touch gentle yet reassuring. “Then I’ll stay,” he said, making it sound like a vow rather than just a simple answer. “You know, we’re going to be okay, right?” he offered reassuringly as he tightened his arm protectively around Ethan’s waist, and silently vowed never to let anyone come between them like Devon had. “This will all work out. We just have to keep things professional in the field.”
He sighed, then finding comfort in the warmth of Ethan’s body against his, closed his eyes. “Now, just be quiet and go to sleep.”