Chapter 18
“And you don’t want to be?” Farrah asks quietly.
I take a moment to answer. “I like Kaldar a lot; he’s a good man. He didn’t have to come into the Rites with me, but he did. And he protected me over and over again.”
“Just because he’s a good man doesn’t mean you’re ready to become his queen,” Farrah says.
I nod because that right there is where it’s at. “Yeah.” I feel like I’m admitting defeat.
“Just don’t go,” Harper says, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.
I take a deep breath and steel my emotions. “I already committed to going. I’m going, and I’m going to make the best of it.”
“I think you’re off your rocker.”
“Harper!” Farrah scolds.
Harper shrugs. “I do. Nobody just uproots their life and goes to a foreign kingdom to start a life there just because—Okay, yeah, I get it. Farrah did that, and it all worked out. But this is Kinsley we’re talking about.”
“What? And it won’t work for me?” I challenge her.
“You’re just not as level-headed as Farrah. You’ll let your soft heart guide you, and that could get you into trouble.”
“I don’t know,” Farrah says thoughtfully. “She made it through the Trials and then the Rites. You might be underestimating her.”
I beam at Farrah. “I knew you were my friend.” I turn a scowl on Harper. “You are no longer my friend.”
Harper just grins. “Whatever. You know you love me.”
I don’t argue with her because I really do. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I have to do this. I have to go with Kaldar to his kingdom. Maybe it will be terrible; maybe I’ll hate it, but...” my words trail off.
“You’ll always wonder,” Farrah says with eyes that look suspiciously moist. “You will always wonder what would have happened if you went with him.”
I nod and swallow around the lump in my throat. “Yeah.”
Farrah takes a deep breath. “I don’t like it, but I get it.” She stands up and walks over to me, stopping just a few inches from me. “Then let’s get you packed and ready.”
Relief flows through me. “Thank you for understanding.”
“The connection between you is pretty hard to ignore, isn’t it?
” I nod. “It will only get stronger.” She puts her hands on my shoulders.
“I want you to be happy, and if that’s going with Kaldar,” her voice breaks a moment, but she recovers quickly.
“Then that’s what I want for you. Just know that you always have a place here if you should ever need it. ”
“Thank you, Farrah.” I hug her tightly. “You’ve become such a great friend. Thank you for everything.”
Her head jerks back. “This is not goodbye forever, Kinsley.”
I smile and wipe my eyes. “I know.”
“You can visit here anytime, and you better believe Rysden and I will be visiting. And Harper,” she adds almost as an afterthought.
“No, I won’t,” Harper says, standing. “I’ll be going with.”
Farrah nods, knowing it’s futile to argue with her when she’s like this. Well, arguing with Harper is always a stupid idea. “Let’s get you both packed then.”
It doesn’t take long as neither of us have much to our names.
They step out of the room, and I linger an extra second taking in the room I’ve lived in since the start of the Trials.
Rysden was so kind to take Harper and me in and let us live here.
Of course, once Farrah decided we were her friends, I’m not sure he had much of a choice.
This was the first time I lived in a real home.
In the banished community, we slept in tents or shelters or whatever we could get our hands on.
Staying here in Rysden’s home was the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced.
I finally leave the room and follow the girls down to the main floor.
When we get to the main room, I take in the tense room.
Kaldar’s warriors are all spread around the room.
Lox and Jamik, Rysden’s brother, sit at the table talking quietly.
Well, mostly it’s Lox that talks. It looks like Hector is cooking something, but I don’t see Rysden or Kaldar anywhere.
Lox looks up and sees us. Without a word, he nods at the door that leads to the basement.
Farrah heads that way, and we follow her.
When I’m almost to the door, one of Kaldar’s warriors approaches me.
I tense a moment and take in the tall man.
Recognition hits me. He's the one that went and got the antidote.
Before he can say anything, I speak. “Thank you for getting the antidote. You saved his life.”
The man stares down at me a moment. “You’re welcome, but you’re the one who saved his life.” He studies me a moment. “You look not quite so...awful.”
I can’t help my laugh. “Thank you.”
He surprises me with a small smile. “I’m Taren, by the way.
I just wanted to say thank you for keeping him alive and for getting him here.
He hasn’t told me much except for the fact that he was mostly unconscious for the end of the rites.
You will make a good mate for him and a good queen to rule at his side. ”
I swallow hard. “Thank you, Taren.”
“Listen,” he glances over his shoulder, like he’s trying to make sure nobody’s close enough to hear.
“Things in our kingdom are a little...rough, I’m sure Kal’s told you.
” I neither confirm nor deny, not sure where he’s going with this.
“I just want you to know that you have my loyalty for life.” He squeezes his hand into a fist and puts it over his heart.
“You saved my king’s life and more than that—my friend. I pledge to protect you.”
I have no idea what to say in response, so I settle on a simple thank you.
He nods and goes back to the other warriors.
I meet Farrah’s and Harper’s wide-eyed stares and push them towards the stairs.
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but Rysden and Kaldar talking in hushed, intense voices was not it.
They both lift their heads when we reach the last stair.
Farrah doesn’t waste a second. She walks over to Rysden, and he wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her into his side.
For just a moment, I wonder what it would be like to be able to do that with Kaldar.
I push that nonsense away, but when I look over at Kaldar, his eyes are already on me.
When Rysden’s eyes move to me as well, I feel a little uncertain.
Rysden bends to speak in Farrah’s ear. She nods, and they start towards the stairs.
It doesn’t escape my notice that she grabs Harper’s hand and takes her with them, leaving Kaldar and I alone.
I don’t waste any time. “What was all that about?”
“Rysden was just filling me in on a few things.”
I’m not sure if his words are actually ominous, or they just feel that way in my head. “Like?” I prompt him. He studies me, and I return his gaze steadily. “You can tell me whatever it is; I think I’m past being shocked by anything these days.”
“We’re mated.”
I stare at him, and I think my mouth falls open. Okay. I lied; I can still be shocked. “What?” That’s all I manage to get out.
“Rysden informed me that once the jaguars are mated, then we are as well. The jaguars connect us.”
Somehow, his words don’t surprise me as much as I thought they would. It kind of makes sense actually. “Okay,” I finally say.
“You’re not running away screaming.”
I smirk. “Is that what you were hoping for?”
“I wasn’t honestly sure what to expect, but you’ve been surprising me at every turn.” His words warm me on the inside.
“I guess I’m just not that surprised; it kind of makes sense. I mean, if I hadn’t had a front row seat to Farrah and Rysden’s relationship, maybe it would shock me more.”
He stares down at me. “I just want you to fully understand. Our souls are entwined now. We are mated and can’t live without the other person. If I die, you die and the same is true for you.”
I nod, still computing all this. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t die in the Rites.”
“Yeah. You’re remarkably calm,” he points out.
“Oh, I’ll scream into my pillow later when I’m alone.”
He grimaces. “Is it that bad? Being stuck with me?”
I blink. That’s what he thinks? “I’m pretty sure if anybody is stuck with anybody, it’s you who’s stuck with me.”
He steps forward and reaches for my hand. I watch him, surprised. “I don’t see it that way, not at all. But I can’t undo this. Are you sure it’s okay? I know you didn’t exactly have a say in all this?”
“Neither did you,” I remind him. “I guess we’ll have to trust that fate got it right.”
He nods. “While we’re talking about surprises, I have another one for you.”
I cringe slightly. “I’m not sure I can take any more surprises,” I admit.
He squeezes my hand, the one I haven’t forgotten he’s still holding. “You’ll like this one.” He leads me over to the stairs.
“Will I though?”
His only answer is to squeeze my hand. When we get to the top of the steps, he surprises me by leading me to the front door.
It doesn’t escape my notice that Taren and the big guy with the ax follow us outside.
Kaldar leads me towards the woods. I know then where we’re going.
This is where Jespar and Veyra have been staying.
When we get close, both jaguars appear out of nowhere, startling me.
Kaldar runs a hand over Jespar, and then he turns to Veyra.
He surprises me by kneeling in front of her.
“Hey, Mamma,” he says softly. “How are you doing?”
Shock rolls through me. You’re pregnant?
She responds right away. Yes.
Wow. That’s amazing. I step forward and run a hand through her fur. How long do you have left?
Around two months.
Wow, you guys didn’t waste any time, I joke. How many babies will you have? Do you know?
I am carrying three cubs.
I can’t help my smile as I run another hand through her fur. That’s amazing. Then another thought hits me. Will you be able to travel?
I am pregnant, not injured.
I nod. Okay.
I am a fierce predator.
Got it.
I make a mental note not to offend her again any time soon. Kaldar stands next to me. “Good surprise?”
I beam at him. “A great surprise. I can’t wait until the cubs are born. She says there are three of them.”
He nods. “Jespar told me. Ready to head back?”
Do you need anything?
No.
Kaldar and I head back towards the house. “They sure got after that fast, didn’t they?”
“I’m not surprised. Mating for jaguars is intense, more so than with other species.”
“Why is that?” I ask curiously.
“I’m not sure if it has something to do with their nature. They’re calm and relaxed most of the time until it’s time to hunt for something or defend themselves. Then they become aggressive and fierce. So maybe that translates into mating.”
“I’m glad I’m not a jaguar.” I’m not even sure why I say that; it just slips out.
Thankfully, Kaldar rolls with it. “No, you’re just bonded to one.”