Chapter 17
Romeo
Julien opens the door and lets the server into our room. He’s carrying a large tray full of breakfast food. My stomach instantly growls. While dinner last night was delicious, it wasn’t enough to fill me.
It’s only been a few days, but I’m already getting used to this lifestyle.
It’s easy to fall into. Part of me feels like I’m stealing from him since I’ve barely done anything sexual for him, not as a prostitute, anyway.
We should’ve had way more sex already. I’m just not doing my part.
Julien never complains, though. He’s so sweet. I’m absolutely obsessed with him.
Sometimes, when things are quiet between us, my mind wanders, and I dream about having a life with him.
What would it be like to have someone love you back?
Would it feel like this? I think I’m in love.
I never want to leave his side. When he said he’d come with me to get my paperwork, putting aside his plans just for me, I fell even harder for him. He’s a protector. He’d never hurt me.
Sometimes when I daydream like that, it hurts because I want it so much it aches, but Julien’s made it clear we only have so much time together. He hasn’t said anything about changing his mind.
Where is he going after this? What are his plans? He won’t talk about them. Maybe I’m not supposed to know because no one else does. What if he’s also trying to escape like me? He probably is. But then why can’t we run together?
I sit in a chair at the table, my knees drawn up to my chin, and my hands holding onto my legs as I watch Julien pour us each some orange juice and coffee.
“I’m starving,” he announces, lifting the lid off a plate in front of me. Steam and the scent of breakfast food fill the air. “Eat up. We need our strength today. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly.”
While I’m hungry, my heart is aching. I’m already missing him before he’s even gone.
As I stare at my food, Julien touches my face. “What’s wrong, Cupcake?”
Cupcake?
I guess he’s calling me that after my reaction to dessert last night. It’s cute. It makes me feel special. Still, I can’t get his leaving me behind out of my head.
I set my legs down, pick at my cuticles, and shrug.
He squats between my legs and looks up at me. “Scared about today? I have your back, okay?”
“I know.”
How do you tell someone how you feel about them without sounding weird or cringy?
Forget it.
No one wants a fucking hooker anyway. Just because Julien’s nice to me doesn’t mean he wants me like that.
“Yeah, I’m just nervous,” I lie.
Julien takes my hand and tugs me to stand. He sits on the chair and pulls me onto his lap. “We’ll get in and get out. I’m not going to leave your side.”
I love you so much, I say in my head. Yeah, this has to be love. I wasn’t sure before, but I am now.
Never in my life have I felt so safe and cared for.
He stabs a sliced strawberry with a fork and brings it to my mouth. I eat it and try to relax.
Julien scoops up some eggs and eats them. Then he takes a piece of bacon and offers it to me. I take a bite of the salty, smoky meat.
“It’s nice to eat whatever the hell I want,” he says.
“Could you not before?”
“As a swimmer on a team, everything I ate was curated for me by my coach and family. Sure, I had carbs and high-protein meals, but I wasn’t allowed things like cotton candy or cupcakes.”
I snort a laugh. “No wonder you’re addicted to sugar.”
He smiles up at me and chuckles. “Only for you.”
God, I so want that to be true. I don’t think he’s lying to me, but I do know this is temporary.
Julien and I park down the street from where I live, but we haven’t gotten out of his truck yet. His hands grip the wheel, turning his knuckles white, as he stares at the rundown motel Tito owns and where he keeps his boys.
The buildings form a ‘U’ shape with parking in the middle. There’s also a pool, but it’s empty and covered in weeds. The place is sad-looking. Maybe it was nice about seventy years ago, but it’s run-down now.
“This is where you live?”
“Yeah.”
“Why a motel?”
“We can’t fuck in the street, Sugar.”
“Oh, duh. I feel stupid now.”
I chuckle and reach for his hand to hold. “You’re not a hooker. How would you know?”
He smiles sheepishly at me.
“Do you have your own room?”
“I share one with Jinx. He’s younger than me.”
“Where does Tito keep his files and shit?”
“In the office, it’s where he lives, too.”
Julien nods thoughtfully. “Can you open his files easily? Or is everything locked up?”
“I know where he keeps the key to his cabinet. He was… it doesn’t matter what he was doing, but last year, I saw him put the file key into his desk.”
Julien scoffs. “He probably thinks he has full control over you, that you wouldn’t dare defy him.”
“To be fair, he thought I was passed out.” I tentatively touch his shoulder, drawing his attention to me. “I’m doing this because of you. Usually, I wouldn’t dare sneak into his office. I feel… brave.”
His face softens, and he grabs the back of my head, pulling me into a kiss. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore,” he says over my tingling lips. “Are you sure the key is still there?”
I shrug. “Not really, but it’s all I got.”
Julien keeps staring at the building, not getting out of the truck yet.
The place is imposing and depressing. I hadn’t thought so before because it’s the only home I know.
Now that I’ve experienced life more than ever, the place feels like it’s strangulating me.
It’s dark and ominous. I hate it with every fiber of my being, except maybe my room.
I like my room okay. Nothing really bad happened there. And Jinx is pretty cool.
“Do you think he’s in there?” he asks.
“Probably not. Tito’s always out and about, but he’s got a couple of goons around to keep an eye on us, so we’ll have to be careful. Seeing me around is normal, so they shouldn’t question it if they see me.”
“Who’s working the office then?”
“Carmen, but she loves me.”
Julien scowls and grips the steering wheel again. “If she’s so fucking great, then why doesn’t she help you all?”
I shrug again. “She’s his sister. She’s not going to betray her brother.”
“Let’s go,” he growls, getting out of his car. I follow him out, and we jaywalk across the street. “I’ll hang out here and wait for you. I can keep an eye on everything right here. Text me if you need any help.”
“Okay.”
Before I can walk off, Julien tugs on my arm and pulls me into another quick kiss. “Be careful, Cupcake.”
“I will.”
I glance around the motel, looking for Tito’s guards, but I don’t see them.
There aren’t any cameras for discretion.
Clients wouldn’t like it. It also keeps the police from getting hold of the recordings if they ever come to arrest Tito.
I don’t see his bright green Camaro parked in the lot. That’s good for me.
As soon as I step into the office, my heart instantly sinks when I see Tito there at the front desk.
Fuck.
It’s too late now. I need my paperwork, so I scramble to think up a lie.
“What the fuck are you doing here? You’re supposed to be getting dicked by some rich perv. He paid me today. You better not have abandoned him.”
I rub my neck, trying to calm my rioting, acidic stomach. Please don’t get sick. “No, ah, he dropped me off to talk to you. I, uhm, need my birth certificate.”
His black eyes narrow, and he stands to step out from behind the desk. I want to back away on instinct, but I hold my ground. “What the fuck for?”
Run, run, run, my mind is telling me. Demanding me. Alarm bells are ringing in my ears. I need to think quickly. “He, he wants to… ah, take me on a trip. I need, uhm, I ah, a passport.”
Tito towers over me; his features hard, his jaw so tight it could cut glass. “Over my fucking dead body.”
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Of course, he wouldn’t let me leave the country. Then I could escape. I should’ve come up with a better lie.
“I don’t care how much money he has,” Tito growls.
“He can’t take you fucking anywhere other than around town.
You hear me?” He grabs my shirt and pulls me close to him.
I’m frozen. Absolutely frozen with fear.
I shouldn’t have come back. I should’ve stayed with Julien.
If I can’t get out of this, Tito’s gonna hurt me again.
“Besides, you have to be lyin’. You can’t get a passport fast enough before your time is up with that prick. ”
Fuck! I didn’t even think about that. How could I? It’s not like I ever get to travel.
“Ah, no, I, uhm…”
“You lyin’ to me? You fucking dare?”
“No! No! I wouldn’t, Tito.”
“You sure as fuck would.”
He lets go of my shirt and grabs my hair instead.
I grip his wrist, my body bent in half to lessen the pain as he drags me to his apartment in the back.
“Please, Tito. Please. Don’t do this. The client won’t like it if I’m beaten. He needs me to be pretty. He said so.”
He throws me to the ground. “He can get the fuck over it. All he needs is a fucking hole. Not your face. Or he can have someone else.”
I try to get up on my hands and knees before his foot lands in my stomach. All the air leaves my lungs, and I gasp and wheeze for breath as I fight to keep from throwing up my breakfast.
While curled up in a fetal ball, gasping for air, Tito yanks on a chunk of my hair and pulls me up. He tosses me onto his bed and starts tearing at my new clothes.
All my years of abuse have my body complying.
The more I submit, the less pain I’ll suffer.
But there’s something else growing in the back of my mind.
It gets bigger and louder the more I think about Julien.
It’s like a dim light that’s getting brighter.
The brighter it gets, the angrier I grow.
I want to fight back, fight for Julien, and fight for myself.
I’m still afraid, but this time I resist, thrashing and kicking at him. A lamp goes flying and shatters on the floor.
“Oh, so you do have some fight left in you,” he chuckles. “I love a good fighter. It makes the reward so much better. Breaking you’s gonna be fun.”
Shit, that’s not good.
“Please, Tito. Let me go. Just let me get back to the client, then you can do whatever to me.” I’ll be long gone, so it won’t matter.
“If you don’t take your punishment now, you’ll never learn.”
At that point, I’d usually give in and let him have his way with me, but when he grabs one of my wrists to lock into the handcuffs he always has attached to his bed, he stops and looks at the new tattoo.
“What the fuck is this?” Then he throws back his head and roars with laughter.
“Oh, precious little Romeo thinks he can escape me? Do you really think that the client wants you? That he’ll save you?
You fucking ignorant little cum dumpster.
No one wants you. No one other than me. You’ll never be free.
I paid too much fucking money for you. When you’re too old to fuck and eventually die, then you’ll be free of me, dead in a gutter somewhere. ”
I don’t know when I start crying, but my vision is blurry, and my face is wet. Helplessness fills me, and I stop resisting because Tito’s right, Julien will never want me. He’s leaving when our time is up, leaving me behind. Tito owns all of me. I’ll never be free from his hold.
I’m supposed to call out to Julien, but I don’t want him to get hurt. So much for bringing him along. I’m such a fucking idiot.
Once Tito has one wrist handcuffed, he locks in my other wrist. And I lie there, ready to accept whatever he gives me. Pain. A lot of pain. Then he’ll fuck the hell out of me.
“When I’m done with you, I’ll make all the boys fuck you without lube. My guards, too,” he says, peeling away my shorts and underwear before spreading my legs and locking my ankles.
Tito rummages around in a drawer in his tiny kitchen and returns with a pair of scissors. Panic starts to consume me, and I fight again, but I can’t move. His restraints are too tight. Instead of stabbing me, he cuts up my shirt.
I hope Julien ran. Tito will kill him if he catches him.
Fingertips drag along my back. It’s too soft and gentle. I’m tense, ready for the blow I know is coming. My body is shaking uncontrollably, and I’m crying harder, wishing I had another life.
Wishing I were dead.
I can’t take this anymore.
No more.
I’ve had a taste of the good life and kindness. I can’t go back. Let him kill me here and now. The only way to do that is to enrage Tito. He won’t kill me and waste his money unless he’s so angry that he can’t control himself.
Against my nature to be obedient, I yell, “I hate you! I’ll fucking kill you when this is over!”
“Aww, look at sweet Romeo getting a backbone. Too bad that backbone will be snapped in half. You’ll never disobey me again when I’m through with you.
Maybe I’ll actually break your back, and you can just lie there getting fucked while paralyzed.
I bet I could make extra money from that.
I’m sure there are freaks out there who’d love to tap a cripple. ”
And that is worse than death.
“Y-you… gotta small cock. That’s why you’re so mean. Jealous?”
The blow to my head comes out of nowhere, but it’s not enough to knock me out, only to render me compliant.
While dazed, I can hear him stripping out of his clothes and throwing them on the floor.
He climbs into the bed behind me. He pries my ass cheeks apart, but before he can fuck me, he falls onto my back and doesn’t move.
The sudden smell of iron and copper fills my nose as panicked words, ‘fuck, fuck, fuck,’ fill my ears.
Soon, darkness washes over me as I pass out.