Seventeen
Jamie
“Cici!” It’s impossible to move my fingers, my arms, my legs. “Cici?” She stares, unblinking. She’s not breathing. “Help’s coming.” I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t know anything. I barely understand what’s happening.
I look ahead, instantly wishing I hadn’t.
Everyone’s broken.
I can’t feel anything, so maybe I’m gone too. Maybe we all are. “Luci.”
She only stares.
“No, no, Lu, no.”
“Jamie.”
“Yes. Luci, it’s me, it’s, it’s—” I hear the words, but I don’t feel myself move. “Cici.”
“Jamie.” Inhaling, I can’t breathe. Nothing is working. My body. My friend, we— “Jamie.” She’s not moving. What —“Jamie!”
“What.” My heart hammers against my ribs. Clutching my chest I look down. “What the fuck?”
“Hey. Hey.” My brain scrambles. What’s happening. “You’re okay. You’re alright. Just a dream. Well, maybe not dream but—”
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Noah’s face pinches and I curse at myself. “Do you know where you are?”
“Why the fuck am I shirtless?”
“Hey.” Noah cups my face. I try to flinch, but he forces me to relax in his hands. I try. “Breathe, okay. Come on.” He inhales, taking a breath, waiting for me to copy. So I do. “That’s it. Breathe.”
We breathe again and my brain starts to boot up, my heart calming with each deep breath. “What—”
“I think you had a nightmare. You fell asleep using my heating pad, remember?” In bed. Wait, Noah. Last night he took my shirt off. The markers.
“The fox.”
Noah beams, pulling the comforter down and showing me the fox I drew on his side. Gorgeous. Shit, the drawing ain’t bad, either. Now, the day after, I can see a few things I would have changed. I nearly ask him to let me fix some stuff, but I let it go. It’ll be washed away within a couple of days anyhow.
Slowly, I let go of his coffee-colored comforter. “We slept together.”
“Literally, yes. Figuratively, uh, you were not in the right mind. I don’t care that you do what you do, but if you were to do me you’d be doing it sober.”
Noted.
No! Not noted. I wouldn’t be doing that. “You kissed my chest.”
“Would gladly give that another go if you need a refresher.”
“It’s gross.”
“It’s skin, babe. Seriously. I mean it. I’ll do it again if you want me to. I’m a saint like that.”
Little fox. I shake my head, lying back down and scrubbing my face. I will say that despite the nightmare I just had, I slept damn well. “What time is it?”
“Uh, nearing ten. I woke up, went for a jog, showered, and you were kind of twitching and whimpering. Something about Ci something.”
Cici .
I swallow thickly. “Sorry I slept so long.”
“Oh, please. By all means. I don’t have to work again until Tuesday, so I’m going to do nothing but sit on my gorgeous ass and read all day.” I look to the nightstand, seeing his book.
“That what you’re reading?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I see?” He hands me the book. A hockey book that I’m sure has little to actually do with hockey sticks and more to do with the sticks in the players’ pants. The cover model’s hot though. Reading the back, I frown. “Enemies? Why are they enemies?”
“Well, you see. When Blake was in high school he had this best friend, and one day they kissed and then Blake kind of had a little baby-gay freak out and pushed him. So he’s heartbroken and his mother homeschools him—”
“Because of that kiss?”
“There was more to it. Anyway, years later, in college, his friend transfers and they have to play on—you’ll never guess—”
“The same tea—”
“The same team, I know!”
Honestly, it does sound interesting. “Can I read it?” Noah gives me a lopsided smile, grabbing the book with his forefinger and thumb.
“You see, I’m reading it now but this is actually book four. You need to read the others.”
“I have to read three others when I just want to read this one?” What the hell? “But this one sounds good.”
“One sec.” He throws off the blanket and my eyes move across the room to anywhere Noah isn’t. Fuck. My eyeballs are traitors though, drifting to Noah standing in front of the pile of books on his dresser. My eyes darken, dipping down to the pair of lacy black bikini briefs he’s wearing that barely contain the delicious swell of his ass.
Reaching under the covers, I squeeze my dick.
He joins me back on the bed, but doesn’t cover himself with the blanket. The memory of him in that shower will haunt me. How could someone be this beautiful?
Trouble. Noah is fucking trouble. “Here.” He hands me a book. “When you’re done, help yourself. They’re all on my desk until I can get a good bookshelf.” I read the back of this one and it sounds okay. “Just please keep it in great condition. I’m particular about my books.” My eyes lift to the mess inside this room. Clothes are everywhere. The makeshift vanity he’s got is piled with bottles and makeup. There’s a pink lock box on the floor, and a pile of tulle—for god knows what—is on the floor next to a bean-bag chair that takes up most of the floor. “My reading poof.”
“Reading . . . poof.”
“Where this gorgeous ass will be parked for the next six to eight hours, only taking breaks to use the little girl’s room and eat.”
Looking down at the book, my mouth moves before I can stop it. “Can I lie in here with you? Read this?”
“Reading party?” Noah’s mouth drops. “Oh my god. Yes!” Getting up, he goes to his dresser. Clothing flies through the air as he looks for something. “Sorry, had to find the perfect shirt.”
“Are you going to clean that up?”
“No time. Later.” I ignore him, getting up. There’s no way I’m sitting in here with this mess. “What are you doing?”
“Putting your shirts back.” Folding each one, I place them back inside his dresser. Seriously, how could someone live like this? His room isn’t dirty, just messy.
“Jamie—” Finishing up, I look at the shirt he’s pulled out.
“ It’s not smut, it’s literature . Cute.”
“Wait! I think I have one that will fit you.”
“I’m not—” Sifting through his freshly folded clothing, he pulls another out. “I’m not wearing that.”
“Please. Please, please.” Holy shit, I’m going to wear the shirt . Snatching it, I hold it up and shake my head. Slipping it on, I see it in the mirror: Hot girls Read Smut. “So sexy.” The black T-shirt stops short, leaving a sliver of belly. “You can use the heating pad while you read.” Maybe I’ll grab my sketch book. I’m not sure what’s happening, but I don’t want to be alone. Palms slide across my belly, startling me. “What are you thinking about?”
“How those two people get together in your book, but I’m stuck reading book one instead.” Noah laughs, pressing a kiss in the middle of my back, cupping his hands and knotting them together on my stomach. I turn in his arms.
“Believe me, you’re going to like this series. Book two is my favorite.”
“Yeah, well, I’m stuck with book one.” Noah laughs, pressing another kiss into my chest. We stand there, Noah’s arms wrapped around me, and I feel so good yet so lost. “I don’t know how to do this,” I admit.
I have no clue how to care for someone who isn’t me. Fuck, I barely even know how to do that. “We aren’t doing anything.” He kisses my chest again, bringing me back to last night and the kisses burned into my skin in the best way. “We’re just two friends who are going to have the best day ever!”
Noah doesn’t want a relationship with me, he just wants to have fun—no emotions or attachments. So I give in, leaning down and pressing my lips to his.
I’m an addict.
Kissing has never been this good in my life. Noah flicks his tongue against my lips and I pull back. “Morning breath.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Fuck it.
My fingers lace at the back of his neck and I kiss him hard, plunging my tongue into his mouth. “Fucking piercing,” he slurs, drowning in me. Our tongues battle. I’m not sure who’s hungrier. My desire is on a worn leash, ready to snap. His taste, his smell, the weight of his beautiful fucking body against me. It feels perfect.
Gripping his ass, I have a one-track mind. “Take these off.” I grip him again, desperate to try something new. “Please.”
“Why—”
“Leave the shirt.” Noah laughs as he backs up to his bed, hitting his knees and falling down on top of it. When I got the new bed for this room, this was not something I pictured myself doing on it. “Lie down.” He lies on the bed with his feet planted and I grip his thighs, pulling him so his ass is practically on the edge.
“What are you doing?” He raises up onto his elbows and our eyes lock as I drop to my knees in front of him.
“Whatever you’ll let me.”
“That is a very long list and I don’t think we have the time.” He licks his lips and the playfulness in those green eyes turns liquid, watching me. “Go ahead.” Thumbing the band of the lacy briefs, I slowly unwrap my prize. “Damn, you look good down there.” I smile. Something that is honestly hard not to do.
“Should see the view from here.” All this creamy skin, mine to taste. While I touched him in that shower, seeing him like this—splayed out for me—feels unreal. Noah is proportionate for his size. Thick, circumcised, his tip red and pearling with liquid. My tongue has a mind of it’s own, licking over the crown. Noah jolts when my piercing dips into his slit. He’s panting, eyes heavy with need. His brown curls erratic from the shower.
Reaching down, Noah grips my jaw. His nails are silver now. “You beautiful fucker.” Noah laughs softly, easing some of my tension. “I like my balls played with and I like a vocal partner. I don’t want to guess whether you like something. I want to hear it.”
“Anything you don’t like?”
Noah drags the corner of his lower lip between his teeth, thinking. “Just do what feels right. I give you complete consent.”
Well, I love the sound of that.
I settle between his legs and Noah’s knees fall apart. “Everything about you is so... so...”
“Hot?”
“Perfect. So fucking perfect.” My fingers lace around his cock. This feels different than the shower. Noah looks like a buffet laid out just for me.
“Jamie, please.” I want those words carved into my brain. Leaning in, our eyes lock as I give him a testing lick. Salt tickles my tongue, tangy and sweet.
Addictive.
I dip my tongue into his slit and Noah’s back arches a little. Soft moans leave him, the sound encouraging. Swirling my tongue around his weeping head, I lick up the vein under his cock. Giving Noah a slow suck, I relax my throat, taking him down as far as I can.
“Just like that. So good.”
His legs spread wider, giving me more room to settle between them. Jerking his cock, I suck one of his balls into my mouth, gently running my piercing along his sac. Noah’s fingers find my hair. “Yes.” The throaty moan makes my cock throb.
Looking up, our eyes lock. Pushing Noah’s thighs back, I kiss down the inside of one thigh and the crease along his pelvic bone, before settling between his parted legs, looking at the prettiest hole I’ve ever seen. My mouth waters, and I don’t even know what to do next.
I’ve watched plenty of porn, but doing this with Noah makes me nervous. What if I’m bad? What if he hates it? “Use your mouth.” All I want is to make Noah feel good. Running my fingers over his hole, I see it twitch against my touch. “Jamie—”
A long time ago, Maddox had said it was basically like eating pussy, which I loved. It couldn’t be that different, right? Deciding to go for it, I lick up the heart of him. Noah spills out a moan-whine combo that makes my dick ache. That’s all the encouragement I need. I dive back in, circling my piercing along his rim. Noah’s hips grind against the bed, against my face. Wanton and desperate. Fuck, it’s hot.
Reaching down, he grips my hair in his hands, the pain winding it’s threads around the pleasure I feel. He grinds against my face, and I lick and suck, drinking in every delicious noise that leaves Noah’s lips.
Crying out, Noah tugs my hair hard, and a reactive noise leaves my lips. He loosens his fingers and I look up, confused. “Sorry.” Noah bites his lip. “I got carried away.”
Frowning at that, I shake my head. “Did I say stop?”
“No . . .”
Taking his thighs in my hands, I tug him closer, his ass practically off the bed. “Use me. Hold on to me. Push my face against this gorgeous pussy if you have to. Don’t ever hold back.” Noah’s eyes widen before his head smacks against the bed, his back arching with every kiss and lick I give him. This is paradise. Noah tastes incredible, his body an instrument waiting for me to play it.
His fingers find my hair again, tugging twice as hard. The pain in my scalp is a direct line to my balls. Shameless and loud, Noah moans, whines, and begs. “Holy fuck, Jamie.”
Reaching for his dick, he strokes himself with sloppy desperation. His other hand cups his sac as his legs shake slightly, spread wide with my face between.
I slip my tongue inside him and Noah whimpers, shaking harder. Using my piercing to the best of my abilities, I lick, suck, and fuck him with my tongue. “I’m close. Holy fu—” Noah let’s go of his cock, propping himself on his elbows and looking down. Rising from between his thighs, I hold out two fingers to his lips. “What?”
“Lick them if you want them.” Taking them greedily, he sucks my fingers into his mouth, getting them good and wet. “That’s it. Nice and wet for me.” He lets them go with a pop and I sink back between his thighs. “This alright?”
Nodding fast, Noah grabs himself behind his knees. My cock weeps in my boxers, but fuck, I’m just happy to be here, putting my mouth on him. I can’t get enough. Noah clenches against my tongue and his fingers return to his cock. “I need to come.”
Thighs trembling, I hold him down, losing myself in every touch. Noah jolts as I press my thumb against his softened hole. “You okay?”
Nodding fast, Noah reaches down between his cheeks, rubbing two fingers against his hole before sinking them inside with my thumb. Watching his fingers disappear is hotter than it has a right to be. “Bet you wish your cock was in here.”
Oh, fuck yeah, I do. “You taste so fucking good.”
He takes his fingers out and I replace them with my own. “Oh my god.” His back arches as I pump my fingers. While I’ve never played with a guy’s prostate, it doesn’t stop me from trying to find it.
Noah fists the sheets, frustrated, whining and squirming against me. “Curl your fingers. Like this,” he says, showing me the movement. I try, not having any success. “Like this. Deeper. So close. Fuck, so close, Jamie.”
His legs are trembling and I try again, curling upward, brushing that bundle of nerves. Noah jerks violently, moaning loudly. Jesus. What does that feel like? Once I find it, it’s easy to try different pressures, letting up when it looks like too much.
Noah strokes himself faster. His balls draw up tight. He’s trembling. I want to feel his ass clench around my cock. I want to watch Noah bounce on my dick, taking my cum greedily. “Don’t stop moving your fingers.” I knock Noah’s hand away and he looks at me, confused, before I take his cock into my mouth, sucking him hard, fingering his ass.
“Right fu-fuck. Yes. Yes. Fuck. I’m gonna. Jamie, stop. I’m gonna—” I hold myself steady as he tries to knock me away in warning. I don’t want him to. In fact, I’ve never wanted anything more than this right here in my entire life. Instead, I suck harder, flinching a bit with the first shot of cum down my throat. Hot liquid pools inside my mouth, and I don’t hate it.
In fact, I like it.
A lot.
Noah shudders in my hand, coming down from his high. A proud grin spreads on my lips. Fuck. That was... My god. Hands down my favorite activity now. I slowly kiss and lick and caress his body with my tongue as Noah comes back to earth. His ass clenches around my fingers, and I feel each soft wave. “Take them out.”
I slip my fingers out and he sags. “Be right back.” Kissing his hip bone, I get up to go to the bathroom. After washing my hands and brushing my teeth, I look for a towel, feeling a high sensation weed could never give me.
When I walk back into the room, Noah is where I left him, his gorgeous body sprawled out, and when I get back between his legs he draws them up, confused as to what my plan is. Honestly, I don’t even know.
I just want to look at him.
Nuzzling his balls, I press kisses to them before sucking one into my mouth. Noah grunts as I play with them before running my tongue up to his softening member. Slowly, my mouth works its way up across his hips, the center of his abs, his chest, lapping cum along the way. While imagining being with a guy, I never thought I’d like this part.
Wrong.
Noah’s taste is a drug. Sweet and heady. Sucking a kiss to his collarbone, careful not to leave a mark, I kiss his neck, then cheek. Finally, his forehead, before slanting my mouth over his, and plunging my tongue inside his mouth.
Noah’s hands come up to wrap around the back of my neck before I sink down against him, careful not to crush him. His thighs wrap around my waist, pulling me closer, and for the first time in so long I don’t want to get up and leave. All I want to do is lie here in the arms of someone who won’t hurt me.
In the arms of someone who may even care about me.
My breath stutters as Noah’s fingers find their way to my chest, touching lightly, not shying away from the broken parts of me. Who knew having someone touch my scars could feel this good? Feather-light fingers caress my sensitive skin.
Breaking the kiss, Noah blinks up then down between our bodies as his fingers rest on the band of my sweats. Grabbing his hand in mine I pin it over his head. This is about him right now. “I’ll make you something, okay?” Noah nods and I turn to leave, just wanting to cook something quickly and start reading.
It takes me a moment, going down the hall, to soak in the feeling.
I feel ... happy. More than happy.