Twenty Five
Noah
I’m ready to just sink into a chair and pray my eyes stay open long enough to read a couple of chapters of my current book. Today was long—we had a call-out and I volunteered to stay. Closing the front door, though, loud voices greet me.
Lia.
She’d left earlier, in a hurry, but I wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t stopped to say a word. Isa said she had an emergency, and I wondered whether it had to do with Jamie. He hadn’t texted me, but if something had happened to him Bri would surely have called me.
“I’m a fucking adult—”
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that!”
“I’m sorry.”
What the hell?
Walking through the living room, I slow my steps as I near the kitchen. “You could have really hurt yourself! You should go to the hospital.” I feel bad for eavesdropping, but I’m worried.
“It’s not a big deal. I’m fine!”
“With your health conditions as they are—”
“I’m fine!”
“You can barely stand! Don’t tell me you’re fine.”
Okay, I need to stop this. Coming into the kitchen, I give them both a wary smile. “Heeey.”
“Oh, Noah. Sweetie, I’m sorry.” Exhaustion laces her face making her look older. Lia is fifty-three but she doesn’t look it. Her olive skin is a little pallid, her green eyes dulled a bit.
“Why are you making your mother crazy?” My eyes swing to the pain in the ass sitting in the chair. “What’s going on?”
“I’m fine,” he grits.
“Xavi came over and—”
“Mom—”
“And...” She glares. “Jamie was on the floor in a lot of pain and couldn’t get up. I had to have paramedics here but he refused to go to the hospital. They did what they could and recommended bed rest for a week.”
“What were you doing?” How could he have hurt himself that badly?
“I’m fine now—”
“You’re not,” she argues. “If he doesn’t take it easy he could—”
“I’m fine—”
“Stop arguing with your mother.” Jamie’s mouth pinches. I’m too tired for whatever this is. “I’m absolutely beat. Lie with me on the couch and we can watch something. I’ll order food.” Jamie swallows, looking away before giving me a tiny nod. “Great! I don’t have to work tomorrow.” Looking at his mother, I see something flash over her features as I ask him, “Did you take medi—”
“No,” she growls at her son.
Nodding, I try to smile and keep it civil. I know from experience that forcing Jamie to do anything is not the way to go about it. Except in the bedroom, but uh... yeah. Not going there right now. “Let’s eat, because I’m sure you’ve done none of that today, and then you will be taking your medicine.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Well, if you don’t take your medicine you could get hurt and die. I’m sorry but these muscles”—I flex one bicep and ignore the hungry look in his eyes—“are just for show. I do not have the upper-body strength to dig a hole and drag your lifeless body into it.” I ruffle his hair, laughing as he swats at me again. “Be a good boy for me.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“Jamie!” she hisses.
“Oh, it’s fine. It’s our love language.” I pinch his cheek, cooing, “You don’t mean it, do you?”
“Can you stop?” he growls, but I see his features soften.
“Go lie down. I’ll order food. I got a new book. That was my plan for tonight, and I can read it while you lie down.”
“New book?”
“A new romance. I’ll grab your sketchbook if you want it, but I need you to get some rest. Honestly, I’m beat, so I’ll probably pass out reading. Tomorrow, maybe we can binge some shows, and Destiny Of Fate starts tomorrow night too.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot.” I love that I’ve gotten him hooked on dramas. “You and me?”
Letting me help him into the living room, Jamie goes to walk past his mother, but not so fucking fast. As gently as I can, I yank his arm, keeping him there in place. “What do you say?”
He scowls at me before whatever he sees on my face softens his. Sighing, he looks at his mother. “I am really sorry.” She nods, not meeting our eyes.
“I’ll be right back.” Walking him to the couch, I gently help him onto it. “Careful.”
“Everything is terrible.” Jamie groans as he lies down.
“I know, babe.” Feeling his forehead I nearly snatch my hand back. “You have to take your meds or you’re going to hurt yourself worse. Then we’ll be right back at the beginning.”
“I haven’t eaten today.”
“Stop being a stubborn dick. Now. Would you like a forehead kiss?” Jamie looks away, nodding slightly. I smile; I can’t help it. I meant it as a tease but as I lean in, kissing his alarmingly hot forehead, I hear him moan softly. “What do you want to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I know but you have to eat something. Egg-drop soup? I’m craving sesame chicken anyway and that’s easy on the stomach.” He nods. “Anything else?”
“No.” Jamie’s eyes lift to mine. I pull away before he tugs my shirt. “Thank you.”
“Close your eyes. I’m going to talk to your mom then order food.” Nodding, Jamie closes his eyes. What he needs is medicine but he has to eat first.
Getting up, I turn to see Lia standing in the doorway watching us. She joins me in the kitchen while I order, and I’m happy now that I’d taken money out earlier for a tip.
I sink into a chair, feeling every bit of exhaustion weighing me down. I’m ready to drop.
“I’m sorry you had to work so much today.”
“I don’t mind, really. I love my job.”
She smiles softly, looking down to her tea. It’ll be a bit of a wait with the dinner rush, but that’ll give Jamie time to sleep a little. “You’re really good with him.”
I feel a bit like I’m overstepping but I have to say something. “He’s just a little stubborn.” Her brows rise and I laugh.
She picks at her mug before looking up. “I have a question to ask you.” She chances a glance at the door as if she can see him sleeping from here. “I’ve argued with him for hours since Xavi called me, yet in the span of ten minutes you’ve got him lying down and sleeping.”
Is she mad? “I didn’t mean to overstep, I’m sorry—”
“Oh, no.” She smiles. “I’d like to ask you a favor—and know that you can say no, but please hear me out.”
“Okay . . .”
“I don’t know if it’s something to do with his childhood. He’s hardwired to let himself suffer. You know he was in foster care, I assume?” I nod. “Well...” She chews her bottom lip. Speaking a bit lower she continues. “That boy has lived with more suffering than any one person should have to handle. I don’t think in his own mind he thinks he deserves to live a comfortable life. This is always how it is, though. If there’s a way to ease his pain, he runs in the opposite direction. I’ve tried to get him help but—”
“You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.”
She smiles sadly, nodding. “He’s an adult and can make his own choices, no matter how stupid they are.” She laughs. “I need help.”
“What?”
“I was wondering if you would mind taking two weeks off work to make sure he’s getting the rest he needs.”
My jaw drops. “But... my job. I love the library. I’m not qualified to care for someone like that.”
“Within ten minutes you had him lying down with the promise to eat and take his meds. I don’t know anyone more qualified.”
“But . . . my job.”
“Your job isn’t going anywhere. I’ll be paying you what I would any other caregiver. I would never jeopardize your job or your living, Noah. I’ll put in a leave of absence for two weeks, and once it’s up you come right back. Nothing changes.”
“I don’t . . . I mean that’s . . .” Everything is spinning.
“I just need you to look out for him like you just did. He’s clearly comfortable with you, and listens. If you don’t want to that’s okay, I won’t be mad. Your job is secure either way. I’m just asking because he needs to rest and take his medication. I can’t lose another kid.” My heart twists with the break in her voice.
“I want to ask him first and see if he’s okay with it.”
I can’t grab on to any coherent thoughts. Would Jamie even want me to? Something warms in her face. “Why don’t you two talk and let me know. Don’t worry about rent for the month either, and don’t worry about your job. We love you there.” She stands, nodding. “Of course. Just let me know by tomorrow. It’s okay if you don’t want to, I’ll just need to find another caregiver.” Well, I don’t want that, at all.
I stand as she gathers me in a tight hug. “I will.”
We walk out into the living room where Jamie is sound asleep, snoring a little. She smiles at him. “He’s cute when he’s not all growly, isn’t he?” She laughs.
“He’s not that bad.” And I kind of like the growly side of him.
She squeezes my arm. “Thank you for being here, Noah.” She opens the door. “No pressure. Let me know what you decide, okay? Have a good night.”
“Noah.” Opening my eyes, Jamie is wincing as he leans over to tug my sweats. “Sorry. Someone’s at the door.”
“Oh.” I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I rub my eyes as I get up to pay the delivery person. My stomach clenches at the smell of food. Fuck, I’m hungry. Locking the door, I come around, grabbing the remote. “Any requests?”
“I don’t care.” So I put Semantic Error on.
“Haven’t you watched this already?”
“It’s a comfort show and I’m too tired to really pay attention. Do you want to watch something else?”
“I like this one,” he says.
Taking out the food, I set his soup aside. “Do you want a bowl, or use this cup?”
“This is fine.”
Jamie attempts to sit up, wincing. “I’ll grab the meds when you’re done. Get you the good shit that makes you loopy.”
“I have to pee.” His face reddens. I get up, holding out an arm. “I can do it!”
“Save the attitude. Your spicy moods don’t work on me.” Scowling, he grabs my arm, struggling to stand. “Need me to hold and aim for you?”
“Fuck off.” I see a tiny smile on his lips.
Waiting outside the bathroom, I remember his mother’s offer.
Two weeks. Sure, I’ll be taking care of Jamie, but it honestly doesn’t seem that bad at all. It seems like a gift in a way. I wanted to spend more time with him and now’s my chance. Jamie needs me, and she’s not wrong, he does listen to me. I can’t see another caregiver having any luck with this stubborn man.
The door opens and Jamie towers over me, a little pale but looking a bit better after some sleep. “Let’s get you fed.”
“What’s wrong?” I blink my attention away from the TV as I eat.
“What?”
“You’re quiet. I’m not used to that,” Jamie says.
“Ha ha, so funny. A regular comedian... Just a long day is all.”
“I’m sorry.”
I sigh.
Jamie stares into his soup, the air tensing around us. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
“Earlier, while you were asleep, your mother asked me something.” I set my noodles down. I hope he doesn’t lose his shit. “She watched the way I pulled your ass into line.” He scowls. “She wanted to know if she could hire me to take care of you while you recovered.”
“No.”
“Jamie—”
“No. No way. That’s... that’s so wrong, that’s... I’m not your responsibility. I’m an adult, I—”
“Can you shut up for five minutes?” He narrows his eyes on me but I ignore him. “I’m going to do it. It’s not that big a deal. She’s giving me a few weeks’ leave from the library, and my job is safe. It’s no different than what I was doing earlier.
“You are not going to babysit me!”
“You’re correct, because you are going to stop being a self-sabotaging dickhead and take care of yourself. I won’t be here to change your diapers and ensure you eat.”
Jamie’s glower deepens. “Asshole.”
“Well, if you ever want a shot at mine again you’ll listen, like a good boy!” I beam. “I’ll just be here if you need me and to help out. If you really are uncomfortable with it I won’t, but honestly, this is the best you’re going to get. Your mother is going to hire a caretaker if I don’t.” Alarm slashes his features. “Exactly. I already live here. We get along... most of the time. It just makes sense.”
Jamie doesn’t say a word. When he finally finishes his food I stand to clean up our empty containers, then go to Jamie’s room to grab his muscle relaxers, painkillers, his antidepressants—the works.
Then, grabbing a sports drink, I sit on the coffee table right in front of him and take out the pills he needs, watching him shake his head. “I’ll give you a reward for each pill you take.” I smirk.
That seems to intrigue him. Taking the first, he swallows it, not looking away from my eyes. I laugh at his curiosity before leaning in softly and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Pulling back, I hand him another. He swallows it faster, and I lean in, kissing the flower outline on his neck and drinking in his shiver. “Last one.”
He takes it eagerly and I wait for him to swallow. “Good boy,” I whisper, leaning in and giving him a kiss. His tongue begins to prod it’s way into my mouth but I pull back. “Let me help you to the bathroom so we can get ready for bed.”
Jamie nods, letting me help him, and I watch him grip the sink as he brushes his teeth. “That bad?”
“My body is a prison,” he mumbles with toothpaste in his mouth. Spitting it out, he washes his face, whimpering with the movement.
“Hey, stop.” He freezes with his arms up and I take the cloth, wetting it and wiping the cleanser off his face.
“Thanks.”
“What were you doing today, anyhow?”
“Nothing.”
What am I going to do with him? “You’re lucky I’m too tired to argue.”
Once in my room I wonder whether this is a good idea. “I’m sleeping in here with you.” Jamie’s defiance makes me laugh. His words are a little slurred, so hopefully the painkillers are doing their job.
“I may accidentally hit you while you sleep, or knee your back or something. We like to sleep smushed, and I’m afraid to take that chance.”
“Smushed?”
“We smush while we sleep.” That makes him laugh. “I like smushing your ass. It’s okay.” Sleeping with Jamie is like sleeping with a giant body pillow. I love it. It’s too risky, though.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Jamie—”
“Everything hurts. It’s like this never-ending, annoying pain. Everything is tense and terrible.” His eyes grow heavier and I motion for him to lie down. Changing out of my work clothes, I slip into a pair of boxers.
Carefully getting into bed, I take up my position spooning this large man. His back is alarmingly hot, so I turn and crank the fan up one more. Taking my blanket, I pull it up around us before combing my fingers through his hair. It’s getting longer on the top and feels silky soft.
“Get some sleep.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you going to let me be your nurse?”
“Not my nurse. My friend.”
“I kind of like the idea of being your nurse, though,” I say with a smile, as my palm slides up his chest and I place my hand over his scar. “I could wear one of those cheap Halloween costumes with the plastic telescope...”
“Stethoscope.”
“That doesn’t sound right.” I rest my head against his back. “The hem of the dress falling just below my ass cheeks...”
“Fuck—” He groans sleepily. “Going to have a boner now, thanks.” Laughing, I reach down and pat his dick. “I can’t feel it. I can’t feel anything.”
“Medicine is doing it’s job.” I kiss his shoulder. “Get some sleep.” That makes him soften, falling under, and it’s not long after with the warmth of Jamie’s body against mine, I do the same.