Chapter 30
Madi
Six days later
Saturday
Ichange my mind a hundred times a day on whether or not I should call them.
I’m drowning in despair with the constant shifts in my emotions.
My brain is foggy and dizziness comes and goes.
Missing them is an unending anguish with nothing to dull it, my alphas never far from my thoughts.
I spend most of my time thinking about the million ways this could all fall apart, but also the ways it could work out.
My heat is too close, and an ache throbs within me that only my alphas can turn into pleasure.
I miss Hunter and the way he makes me laugh.
I’m longing for Alric to wrap me in his arms with his steady presence.
And Zachary, he’s the sunshine I need right now to keep the storm clouds in my brain at bay.
The only thing holding me back from calling them is the fact that their big launch party is this evening.
They worked so hard, and I don’t want to take any of that away from them.
I know if I gave them a choice, they’d be at my side immediately.
They deserve to celebrate their efforts, and like the coward I turned out to be, I’m still not sure if I’m ready for a non-medically assisted heat.
I feel impossibly fragile, a sensation I haven’t experienced since I was a kid, and it paints everything with heartache and loneliness.
Harper put in a good word for me with the building owners, so I was able to move into one of the empty apartments down the hall.
I used Alric’s card to hire movers and get all my stuff over here, but most of it was still in boxes, and I’d had to spend an entire day doing laundry just to get the scent of strangers off my things.
I’m not sure about living here long term, but it’s at least a place to masturbate in peace and spare Harper from having to share a bathroom with me.
I’m feverish and hornier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
No amount of time with a knotted dildo and my own trusted hands does anything to ease the ache, not when my body craves my scent matches with unfathomable longing.
I’ve replayed every heated moment between the four of us in my mind.
Watched the video of Hunter and Zach fucking me in the gym till I have it memorized.
It’s the only thing that helps even a little to keep the dread of my heat away.
“The next time I fuck you will be during your heat, while I’m knotting you with my teeth in your neck, bonding you to me forever.”
Slick slides down my ass at the thought of Alric buried so deep I might break apart from the stretch alone, his knot locking him inside me, his teeth sinking into my flesh, a bond making us unbreakable.
I come again but with no actual relief and give up to shower. I turn on the cold water to rinse off one last time before Omega’s Comfort arrives. Why did my heat have to be on the same night as their app party?
After I finally drag myself from the shower, I dress in leak-proof panties, loose PJs and my favorite sweater.
My phone dings with a notification.
This is an automated message.
Thank you for choosing Omega’s Comfort. Your ride will be arriving in twenty minutes.
I thought I had more time. My phone only reads 5:45 p.m.
Shit. It hits me then, I’ll soon be in a semi-comatose state for the next few days, and tears swell.
I’ve worked so hard to not be anyone’s anything, but being theirs doesn’t seem like a prison anymore—it feels more like something beautiful is blooming.
Slowly, petal by petal. Being with these men is shifting something in me.
I’m fucking terrified and I don’t wanna do it alone anymore.
I want them at my heat. No, I need them there.
Fuck my rules, they mean nothing to me now.
I quickly pull up Omega’s Comfort main number and hit the dial button.
“Thank you for calling Omega’s Comfort, where your heat is our honor. How can I assist you today?”
“My name is Madeline Hayes.”
“Hello, Miss Hayes, your drivers will be arriving at—”
“Is it too late to change my mind about my heat? If I have alphas now, can I use them instead of going the medically assisted route?”
“Of course, what are their names?”
“Alric Monroe, Zachary Clark, and Hunter Anderson.”
“Okay, I’ll pass this information over to your heat nurse. They will need to show ID and sign some paperwork once they arrive. I’d like to confirm that Harper June is your emergency contact?” The nurse rattles off Harper’s number as well.
“Yeah, she’s my best friend.”
“Excellent, and would you like this heat supervised or unsupervised?”
“What’s the difference?”
“Both will come with meal services and an emergency button that can be pushed at any time for any reason, as well as available nurses. The main difference is that in an unsupervised heat, no one will be watching periodically from behind the two-way glass to ensure everything is going as intended,” she explains.
“Omegas who are using our provided alphas often prefer the supervision since they’re entrusting their care to strangers, no matter how delicious they might smell.
Omegas with packs are more rare here. Some find having medical assistance close at hand very comforting, but do not wish to be supervised by any medical staff, and simply enjoy the meal service. ”
I could have a nurse who would be there to ensure I didn’t end my heat bruised and limping like my mom? Is that why my dads always had their heats at home? So no one was there to tell them to be gentler, kinder? To see their omega as more than just a plaything for their own damn pleasure?
Did I need that with my alphas? Would it ease my fears about having a heat with them? Of course, but could I trust them with my heat alone with no one around, if I needed help?
Yes.
I’m so clouded with doubt and fear for the future, but one thing that’s crystal clear in this moment is that I can trust them to take care of me. No amount of mindless rutting and hormone-induced haze would stop them from treating me with the absolute care they always have.
The relief I feel at that realization knocks me down, and I collapse to the floor. I don’t need to be afraid for another moment.
“No supervision is needed, but the meal service would be great. If I need anything else, they can alert you.”
“Alright, this has all been noted in your file. Your ride will be on their way shortly, and we’ll see you soon.”
Everything in my brain is fuzzy, except for the clarity of wanting them.
I hate potentially ruining their party for them, but I feel like I need to at least give them the option of my heat.
If I know them like I think I do, they would never leave me to have my heat alone if I wanted them there like I do now.
With shaking hands, I pull up all three of their names in a single chat.
Madeline:
I’m sorry I ruined everything. My heat is here and Omega’s Comfort is picking me up. They’ll take care of me, but I want you there. If you can’t make it because of your event or you changed your mind about me, I understand.
I know they’ll come, even if it means abandoning their launch party tonight, forfeiting celebrating all their hard work, and I hate to take away from that. I’ll try and think of a way to make it up to them for sacrificing something so important to be with me.
The four of us can build a life together, even if it’s not the life I planned. Maybe it could be better. I’ll be a good omega for them. I don’t want to fight this bond we share right now, I just want them here.
While I have my phone in my hand, I text Harper to help me get downstairs. I quickly french braid my hair so it will be out of my way for the next week and say a tearful goodbye to Bellini. I hate leaving her again, but I know she will be happy and safe with Harper.
She arrives quickly, taking my bag over her shoulder and her other arm going around my waist to ensure I stay upright. The headache crushing my skull is the worst I’ve ever had in my life. I lean on Harper even more.
“I asked them to be at my heat,” I mumble to her.
She lets out a delighted squeal. “Oh, babe, I’m so glad to hear that! You deserve to be dicked down by men who adore you.”
If I had the ability to smile, I would.
We finally make our way down to the lobby, and the doorman holds it open for us with a concerned expression at my state, but thankfully, there’s a black car in front. A man in pink scrubs and a medical mask waits on the street and opens the car door for me. “Madeline for Omega’s Comfort?”
I can only nod, having lost any ability to use any sort of words. The nurse gingerly helps me into the car, taking my bag from Harper, and comes to sit next to me in the back seat.
Harper waves and blows me a kiss. “Enjoy your alphas! I love you!”
Somehow, I manage to wave before the door shuts. My alphas will be at Omega’s Comfort. I’ll get to see them again.
Shit, I didn’t tell them which location. I try to find my phone in my purse, but my limbs are heavy. The car starts to move and the nurse takes something out of his medical bag. “I’m going to give you a shot that’ll make you feel better, okay?”
I close my eyes against the car seat and nod in agony, only briefly feeling the sting of the needle. The car makes a sharp, unexpected turn, and my eyes fly open to see what caused the driver to respond like that.
It’s only then I realize that Jensen is driving the car.