23. Chapter 23 #2
Sure, she’s stubborn and sassy. And we bicker and banter all the time. But it’s fun and it’s us . She may not see how we can fit together yet, but if she gave me time, I could make her see it.
She has so many of the qualities I want in a forever partner, from her fierce loyalty to the way she cares about her friends. She’s dedicated to her job, and her dream, even when achieving it seems far off. She’s brilliant and witty and capable.
And none of that includes the way my blood heats to a thousand degrees every time we touch.
So I say what I think she wants to hear—“I’m fine with whatever you’re willing to give, D,” all while praying it could be true. I just hope that somewhere along the way, she realizes we could make this work. For the long haul.
Her dark lashes flutter and she stares at the food on her plate. “I’m just…not sure it’s the best idea to get involved with each other while we’re sharing an apartment.”
Reality sets in immediately. She’s right. The temptation of having her this close might be too much to resist.
“Your mom might murder you,” she adds with a hint of a smile.
“You’re not wrong.” I sweep a hand over my head, thinking of a solution. “Okay, so we wait to officially date until you’re in your new place. What’s another few weeks?”
Or months. Or years. I suddenly find myself willing to wait as long as she makes me.
Daria bites her lip, still picking at the muffin. “I’m not good at this sort of thing, Dane.” Her soft-spoken statement tugs at some deep part of my heart.
I remain quiet a few moments while I mull over how to articulate what I want to say. I don’t want to scare her or push her into anything, only reassure her.
“You might find this hard to believe, but I wasn’t born an excellent pilot.” Daria’s probing gaze lifts to mine. “In fact,” I continue, “it took years of study and practice to be able to fly the type of planes I do now.”
“You mean they don’t just let any old newb fly a bunch of people across the country?” The thick layer of sarcasm in her voice has me grinning.
“Weirdly enough, no. I had to remain dedicated to my field of study to make it this far.” In a bold move that I can only pray she doesn’t recoil from, I reach across the table and clasp her hand in mine.
“I’m willing to dedicate time to you, Daria.
Time to get to know you better, time to work through our obvious issues.
” She laughs a little, but I don’t stop.
“Time to see if we could make this thing between us work.”
Her smile fades as her gaze hardens. “And if we still don’t work out? If all that time and effort you put into this ends up not being worth it? What then?”
Again, my heart squeezes. It kills me that she doesn’t think she’d be worth my time and effort.
All the confidence she exudes, the brashness she wears like armor, it’s all a false front to disguise the broken girl underneath.
The girl I’d really like to get to know, if only to prove to her that she’s worthy of love.
“Getting to know you,” I say, “and getting to be with you in a romantic sense would never be a waste of time and energy.”
She scoffs. “You say that now—”
“And I’ll still be saying that a year from now.”
Her lips part, then snap closed. She swallows. Blinks at me repeatedly. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, we can… date .”
There’s no stopping the broad, elated grin that spreads across my face. “All right.” I give her hand a squeeze and go back to eating.
“That’s it?” She laughs. “Just all right , now we’re back to breakfast?”
“Mmhm,” I hum around a bite of food. After swallowing, I add, “Our first official date won’t be until after you move out, anyway.” The reminder makes my stomach sour, but I smile through it. “We’ve got time.”
“Right.” She tosses a piece of muffin into her mouth, seeming to chew it thoughtfully. “So, um, since we won’t be official for a little bit, does that mean…no kissing?”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from looking like a lovestruck idiot.
I lick my lips and lean back in the chair, knowing it’s going to hurt to speak my next words.
“I think we can hold off on physical affection until we’re official.
” I eye her to gauge her reaction, but she’s a master at keeping her emotions hidden behind her stone-faced expression. “Don’t you?”
“Of course.” Her forced smile makes me want to laugh out loud. “I’m fine with waiting. I just wondered. Boundaries are important in a relationship.”
Except now she can’t meet my eyes, and she stuffs the rest of the muffin into her mouth. I instantly regret the decision to wait on kissing her again. She stands and takes her plate to the sink. “Whenever you’re ready to try on the pants, let me know.”
I meet her by the sink. “I can do that now.”
Ten minutes later, I’m standing before her in the new shirt and slacks that are mostly just pinned together, letting her scrutinize every inch of the garments. Every time she brushes up against me or even breathes in my direction, the nerves in my body buzz with the need to kiss her.
She smells incredible, which doesn’t help me keep my body in check.
Clearly, I made a huge mistake. Is it too late to admit that I was an idiot and beg her to let me change my mind?
“Okay,” she says, stepping back to take in her handiwork. “I think that’s good. Just a few more pins and tucks and it’ll be ready for the runway.”
I smile and give her an encouraging nod. “You did an amazing job. These pants will look great when they’re done.”
“Yeah. I think you’re right.” She bites her lip as her darkened gaze travels down to my thighs.
“Eyes up here, D.”
She clears her throat, bringing a hand to her neck. “Right. Sorry. Why don’t you go and change, then leave them on my bed. I’m heading out to meet the girls for brunch.”
“But you just had breakfast.”
“Now that Jamie’s home, we’re starting up our standing brunch date again. Besides, this is the first time I’ll get to see Jamie since she and Parker got back.”
“Right,” I say with a forced smile. Parker texted me late last night to let me know they’d made it home. I should probably stop over and say hi while Daria goes out with the girls anyway.
“You guys have fun, then,” I tack on. “I’ll leave the clothes on your bed.” I shove my disappointment away and pretend like I wasn’t hoping we could relax and enjoy the day together on my first full day back home after a long week of work. It hits me how utterly gone for her I am.
There’s nothing I’d rather do than be with her. No one I’d rather talk to, laugh with, or kiss until we’re both breathless.
It’s her. It’s been her.
And I can’t keep myself from hoping it’ll continue to be her from here on out.