Chapter 5
Jaylin spent most of his Friday morning doing an incredulous round-up of all the new resources he had at his disposal.
Audiobooks of all his textbooks. A text-to-speech reader apparently patented by the Sharmas, Deepak’s parents.
Recordings for his astronomy and business law classes, Diego’s notes from statistics.
It was amazing and overwhelming and Jaylin spent hours organizing everything just so and then listening to all his lessons multiple times just because he could.
He had been blitzing through his homework all week too.
It was the normal amount of work, but between being able to just go back and listen to the questions instead of having to struggle to read through them halved the time it took to do it all.
Even though he still had to be careful writing out his answers, for the first time in his whole life, learning wasn't painful.
It was even kind of fun.
Jaylin had always liked to learn. His mom… his mom used to say he was a sponge with how he soaked up information, back before the heart attack that took her. Before Jaylin entered the foster system. Before adults gave up on him because he was too dumb to amount to anything.
Jaylin had forgotten what it was like to want to ask questions, instead of wanting to disappear into the ground.
Maybe that was why he felt so giddy when Hiro texted him next, dying to talk to Jaylin in person to ask for more details on how the week had gone, and would Jaylin be interested in a late lunch?
Jaylin didn't even think twice about saying yes. He was jittery with possibility for the first time in his whole life, that things might actually turn out okay for him. He wanted to see Hiro again and tell him so. Thank him in person for the miracle he’d brought to Jaylin’s life.
Hiro’s office turned out to be only fifteen minutes from Jaylin’s apartment. Hiro asked if Jaylin wanted to be picked up, and this time Jaylin didn’t hesitate to say yes.
“Hey!” Hiro greeted him with a smile from the driver’s seat when Jaylin opened the car door. “Come on, get in, get in, it’s freezing!”
Jaylin grinned at him and slid inside, the wind blowing the door shut for him.
It was snowing lightly again, but with the wind, nothing had settled on his shoulders.
He was happy that it was a warm-coat day though.
The weather would’ve been a nightmare in Brent’s stupid too-thin present. “Hi. Thanks for picking me up.”
“No problem,” Hiro said easily. “You’re on the way.”
“On the way?”
“I mean,” Hiro said. “If you’re cool with me picking the restaurant? My treat, of course.”
“Oh.” Jaylin had honestly not even thought that far. He’d just been looking forward to seeing Hiro, to tell him in person what had been going on. “Yeah, sure. Wherever you want to go.”
“Great,” Hiro said, pulling away from the curb. “I promise to take you somewhere good.” Then he glanced over at Jaylin, expression excited and hopeful. “So? How have things been?”
“Really good,” Jaylin said in a rush, knee bouncing up and down with restless energy.
“Yeah?” Hiro’s smile got brighter. “I’m all ears.”
Jaylin wasn't much of a talker, not really. A lifetime of trying to stay quiet and out of the way so people wouldn't notice you tended to do that to a person. But he was bursting with how much of a relief the last week had been, and when he started telling Hiro about it, he couldn't seem to stop.
“—and the text-to-speech reader is amazing. It works on all of the worksheet handouts, so I don’t have to spend like an hour trying to figure out the questions I’m supposed to answer before I can work on answering them and…” Jaylin took a deep breath. “It’s just… it’s just been really good.”
“I’m so happy to hear that,” Hiro said, and he sounded sincere. “Really, Jaylin. That’s great. I’m so happy for you.”
“Yeah.” Jaylin fidgeted in his seat before offering, “I’ve never looked forward to school before. But this week I actually felt like I was learning stuff. You know?”
“Yeah,” Hiro said softly. “Yeah, I get that. I’m so glad things look like they’ll be changing for the better.”
“Thank you for… for helping with that,” Jaylin said, unable to look at Hiro while he did so.
“Absolutely,” Hiro said. “Anytime. This calls for celebration sushi for sure.” Then he paused.
“I mean… if you like sushi? I guess it wouldn’t be that great a celebration if you hated it.
Sorry, I-I sort of assumed, but it just crossed my mind that there are people in this world who don’t like sushi. ”
“I like sushi,” Jaylin assured him. “I don’t eat it super often, but I like it. So it’ll be a nice treat.”
“Oh awesome,” Hiro said, looking relieved. “Maybe we should talk about what kinds of foods you do and don’t like, so the next time I’m in charge of picking the restaurant I won’t accidentally take you out for pizza if you’re gluten free. Are you gluten free?”
“I’m not, no,” Jaylin said, amused and a little charmed.
He wasn’t used to men thinking of his needs or tastes.
Also…. next time? That sounded as though Hiro was already planning for future meetings.
But Hiro had done so much for Jaylin already.
What more could he possibly give? “I ate that croissant sandwich you brought to the library, remember? I don’t have any food allergies.
And I’m really, really not picky. I’d love to go out for pizza sometime. ” He meant it too.
He wouldn’t be at all opposed to seeing more of Hiro.
Hiro beamed at him. “Sounds good to me. There’s this little place near Wentworth that does really excellent, traditional oven-fired pizzas—”
Jaylin’s phone rang, interrupting, and his stomach dropped at the ringtone. It was his special one for Brent, and at this point it was a pavlovian response to get nervous whenever Jaylin heard it.
He pulled it out of his pocket, considering ignoring it for all of two seconds. But when Brent said jump, he expected Jaylin to ask how high? and anything less…
Jaylin couldn't afford to lose where he was at.
“I’m sorry,” he told Hiro, trying to hide the shame. If Hiro knew Jaylin was a sugar baby, he’d probably never talk to Jaylin again. “I’ve got to take this.”
“Of course,” Hiro said, because he was good like that. “Please.”
Jaylin gave him a wan smile and took the call, pressing the phone to his ear as he twisted in his seat, trying to give himself the illusion of privacy. “Hi–”
“Where are you?” Brent sounded annoyed. Not quite angry, but definitely upset in a way that meant Jaylin would be paying for it later. “Ernie said you aren’t home.”
Which meant Ernie was at his apartment to chauffeur Jaylin to wherever Brent wanted him, and Jaylin wasn't there. Because he was meeting with Hiro. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He suddenly felt sick. “I’m sorry,” Jaylin forced out, hunching over and all too aware that Hiro could hear every word. Stupid, stupid– “I’m out. Studying.”
“It’s Friday, pet,” Brent drawled. “Fridays mean you don’t make plans.”
“I know,” Jaylin said, wanting to curl up into a ball. “I know, I’m sorry.” He’d been so giddy over his school stuff and wanting to talk to Hiro again, he’d totally forgotten. Of all the stupid fucking things– “I’m sorry.”
“You’ll just have to make it up to me,” Brent said, voice silky. “Where are you? Ernie will pick you up.”
“I’m just at the library,” Jaylin said in a rush, even as his stomach roiled.
He’d have to grab an uber or something to get to campus before Ernie showed up to get him, but it was a cost he’d have to eat.
At least being at the library would lend credibility to his story about studying.
But fuck, now he had to bail on Hiro, who’d gone out of his way to invite Jaylin out and pick Jaylin up— “I’m sorry. ”
“Mm. You can apologize properly once you’re here.”
Jaylin squeezed his eyes shut. “I will.”
“Ernie will text you once he arrives. Don’t keep him waiting.” The don’t keep me waiting, was unsaid as Brent hung up.
“Fuck,” Jaylin hissed staring down at his phone. He didn't need this. Served him right, thinking he could get away with–
“Everything okay?”
Jaylin startled and swung around to see Hiro looking at him with concern, the car parked in a lot. No, no, no. “Fine,” he said quickly. “I’m fine, I just–I forgot about a prior commitment. I’m so sorry. I-I need to get going. I’m sorry.”
Hiro nodded slowly, and Jaylin couldn't read his expression. “Do you want a ride?”
Jaylin choked. Right, Hiro had heard him fucking lie about being at the library. “That’s–that’s okay, you’ve already driven all the way here–” And now Jaylin was just peacing out on him, fuck– “I’m really sorry,” he said miserably.
“It’s okay,” Hiro said after a too-long second. “Really, Jaylin, it’s fine. I can drive you.” He started up the engine again as Jaylin stared at him. “The campus library?”
Jaylin wished there was a hole nearby he could crawl into. “Y-yeah.”
“Okay,” Hiro said. “We’re not too far. Just about ten minutes. Okay?”
“Thanks,” Jaylin whispered, feeling so, so small.
They pulled out of the parking lot, but the drive was now silent, all of Jaylin’s previous enthusiasm completely drained out of him. “I’m sorry,” he said again after several minutes, unable to take it. He knew Hiro was upset. Jaylin just wanted to get it over with.
“Jaylin, it’s okay,” Hiro said again. “We can—we can go next time.”
“Next time?” Jaylin asked hesitantly.
“If you want there to be one,” Hiro said. “Then yeah. Of course.”
“I want there to be,” Jaylin burst out. “I-I’m free tomorrow. After Aditi. Unless that’s too soon, or you’ve already got plans, or—”
“Tomorrow would be great,” Hiro said with feeling. “What time are you done with Aditi?”
“Usually around ten-thirty,” Jaylin said.
“I can do ten-thirty. Unless you want some time to decompress after tutoring?”
“No!” Jaylin licked his lips, nervous energy thrumming through him. “No, that’s… that’s great. If that’s okay.”
“Then ten-thirty tomorrow,” Hiro said with a smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Jaylin had no idea why Hiro would be, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He tried to smile back, fiddling with the loose thread on the pocket of his coat and then blanched. His coat.
He came to this realization just as Hiro’s car slid to a stop in front of the campus library, and Jaylin was unbuckling and scrambling out of his coat before he could think about it.
Hiro looked alarmed. “Jaylin, what–?”
“He doesn’t like this coat,” Jaylin said, shoving it off even as his teeth started to chatter. “Could you just hold onto it for me? Since I’ll see you tomorrow. If… if you still want to see me.”
Hiro stared at him as Jaylin vibrated with anxiety. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. “He doesn’t like this coat?”
“It’s–it’s nothing,” Jaylin said desperately. “I just–” he fumbled for the door handle. “I’m sorry, I have to go, I’ll see you tomorrow? Or… or just text me if you want to cancel or–”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hiro said, eyes still on Jaylin’s balled-up coat. He lifted his head. “But Jaylin–”
Jaylin stilled, door half open, shivering as a gust of wind blew right through him. “Yeah?”
Hiro’s lips tightened as he watched Jaylin, and Jaylin couldn't even imagine what he saw. “Just… just text me? When you get home safe tonight. Okay?”
Jaylin could promise that much for all he had put Hiro through today. Even if he wasn't sure he’d actually be going home tonight. “Okay. Y-yeah, I’ll text you. Um. Thank you for the ride.”
“It’s no trouble,” Hiro said. “Be safe.”
Jaylin attempted a smile before he threw himself out into the cold.
***
It was only as Jaylin was stumbling through his front door at two in the morning that he remembered he was supposed to text Hiro.
He was freezing from the walk from the car to his building, exhausted, and sore.
All of him ached, and he knew he’d have fresh bruises on his hips in the morning, even though Brent still wasn't supposed to leave any.
But he’d promised Hiro, and Jaylin hated breaking promises. So even as he told himself it was stupid for texting two hours after midnight, he did it. At least Hiro would get the text in the morning and know Jaylin had tried.
He shed his coat and gloves and limped into his bathroom, hissing in pain as he removed his clothes. When he finally made it into the shower, he nearly fell asleep under the spray, but he managed to towel himself off, work his product into his hair, and brush his teeth.
Falling into bed with a groan, Jayling fumbled for his phone to plug it in to charge overnight and realized, breath stuttering, that he’d gotten a voice message. From Hiro.
He pushed the button to play the message out loud, allowing his eyes to slide shut while he listened to it.
He drifted off to Hiro’s voice saying, “I’m glad to hear you got home safe. Sleep well.”