Chapter 9 #2
A warm, pleased feeling trickled through Jaylin at Hiro’s message. Hiro had thought of him. He remembered both Jaylin’s midterm and when Jaylin was supposed to be done, and had sent Jaylin a message. Just because.
“Hi,” Jaylin dictated into his phone. He was smiling wide, and knew his phone was probably picking that up. “Thanks for thinking of me. And yeah I’d love to see you tonight. Just let me know when? I’m completely free.”
Then he replied to Diego to ask if he was still interested in that debrief lunch.
Diego replied in seconds with an enthusiastic yes, please distract me here I’m dying, so Jaylin left his drawings and grabbed his coat to head out.
***
Hiro had asked if Jaylin would prefer to go out or stay in, and Jaylin had admitted that he’d rather not go out to eat if that was okay.
Enough time had passed now that he was feeling jittery over the fact that midterms were finished and all he could do was wait for his grades, and he didn't really want to be in a loud, crowded restaurant.
So instead Hiro beamed at him when he opened his door to let Jaylin inside.
“Chinese just arrived,” Hiro said, stepping back to let Jaylin in.
“Awesome,” Jaylin said, stepping out of his sneakers and nudging them into a neat line next to Hiro’s shoe rack. “Perfect timing then.”
“Was the ride over okay?” Hiro asked as Jaylin unwound his scarf.
“Yeah,” Jaylin said, moving to hang his coat in the hallway closet. “Thank you for sending the ride.” Jaylin hadn’t wanted Hiro to go out of his way to pick Jaylin up, so Hiro had insisted on paying for Jaylin’s ride over. It was far from the first time Hiro had done so.
“Of course,” Hiro said easily. “Now come on, dinner’s ready and I haven’t seen you in like a week. You’ve got to fill me in on all your adventures.”
“It’s not all that exciting,” Jaylin said, smiling foolishly anyway. Hiro brought that out in him. “Your life is way more exciting.”
Hiro rolled his eyes as they moved to sit down at Hiro’s table, where Chinese food boxes were spread all over. “‘Exciting,’ he says. I’ve been up to my elbows in potentially incriminating text messages.”
“That’s not exciting?” Jaylin asked, reaching for a set of chopsticks.
Hiro huffed. “Well it’s not like we can talk about the potentially incriminating text messages.
So I don’t even get a fun story to share out of it.
” He turned plaintive eyes onto Jaylin. “So you’ve got to carry the conversation.
Tell me all about midterms week. How did your Sign Language presentation go? ”
“I told you all about that on Tuesday,” Jaylin said, pointing at Hiro with his chopsticks. “I sent you like six messages about it. You replied to them!”
“But I missed out on all your facial expressions,” Hiro said earnestly as he served himself some General Tsao’s chicken. “Facial expressions are vital to telling a story.”
“Since when?” Jaylin laughed.
“You literally told me that facial expressions are grammatical in Sign Language,” Hiro said, with the tone of someone who wasn’t planning on losing this argument. “And I expect to get the full range of Jaylin-expression as he regales me with the tale of how he aced all his midterms.”
Jaylin’s face flushed, and he ducked his head. “I don’t know if I aced them yet,” he said, though he was stupidly pleased by Hiro’s faith in him. “Grades won’t be posted for another few days at least.”
“Jaylin,” Hiro said patiently. “If you get your grades back and you didn’t ace your midterms, I will eat your scarf.”
“You wouldn’t,” Jaylin said in mild, only-half-joking horror. “What if you lose that bet? Not only would you get sick but I’d lose my scarf. I like my scarf. It’s my favorite winter accessory.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing you aced your finals,” Hiro said with a grin.
Jaylin muttered something about jinxing his grades under his breath, but then Hiro drew him into a re-enactment of his ASL presentation anyway, even though Hiro had already seen it before because Jaylin had practiced on him.
He was pleasantly warm and full by the time they moved to Hiro's comfortable couch, though some nerves did creep in as he remembered the comics he had squirreled away in his backpack.
“I’ve got something to show you,” Jaylin blurted out, at the same time Hiro said, “I’ve got something to ask you.”
“Oh,” Jaylin said quickly. “Okay. You go first.”
“It’s okay,” Hiro said with a laugh, eyes glinting with curiosity. “What did you want to show me?”
Jaylin crossed his arms. “Question first,” he insisted. He doubted it was anything bad, but he didn't want it hanging over his head anyway. And this way he could put off showing Hiro the comics for a little longer.
“Okay, okay, you win.” Hiro smiled, holding up his hands. “I was just wondering if you had plans for—”
He was interrupted by Jaylin’s phone chiming. He stopped talking, lips pressing together.
Jaylin had to fight his wince. It was the it’s Brent chime. Hiro recognized by now that it wasn't a sound that meant good things for their hangouts.
Jaylin bit his lip. He could ignore the summons for a little bit, right? For all Brent knew, Jaylin was in the shower or something. Jaylin didn't have to scramble to answer this very second. “It’s okay,” he said weakly. “It’s probably not important. Plans for what?”
Hiro smiled at him again, but it had gone brittle, cracking further around the edges when Jaylin’s phone started to ring and didn't stop.
Jaylin swallowed, feeling himself start to sweat. A text he could get away with putting off. A phone call though?
“Hey,” Hiro said quietly, reaching forward to almost touch Jaylin’s hand from where it was clenched on his knee. “It’s okay. Do you need to get that?”
“Yeah,” Jaylin forced out. “I’m sorry, I’ll just–” he pointed to the kitchen as he stood up. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Hiro said again. It sounded almost like he was trying to convince himself, too. “Really, Jaylin. It’s okay.”
“I’ll be right back,” Jaylin said in a rush before he ducked fully into the kitchen.
Good mood soured, Jaylin only barely managed not to snap as he answered his phone. “Hi?”
“Hello pet,” Brent said, and Jaylin had the brief, furious urge to just hang up on him. He hated, hated, hated that stupid false-endearment. It rankled worse than usual right now.
“Hi,” Jaylin said again. “Did you, uh, did you want something?”
“Funny you should ask.” Brent’s voice was smooth, edging into darkly amused and all too foreboding. “I had a simply marvelous idea. If I recall, today was your last midterm.”
“Yeah,” Jaylin said, even though it wasn’t a question. Of course Brent knew.
“Mm-hm. So according to your schedule, you’re officially on spring break and free until the Monday after next.”
Jaylin didn't say anything, heart pounding, absolutely certain he wouldn't like whatever next came out of Brent’s mouth.
“I’ve decided you’ll spend the week with me,” Brent continued, and Jaylin went numb. “I’m due for some time off work as it is, and I think a bit of involved stress relief is warranted.”
“The… the whole week?” Jaylin heard himself say.
“Why not?” Brent purred. “It gives us such a chance to get creative.”
Brent went on to tell Jaylin that he would be spending Friday wrapping things up at work, and that Jaylin should be ready to be picked up Saturday morning. While part of Jaylin’s brain filed that information away, the rest of him tuned Brent’s voice out into a dull buzz.
A week.
A week?
Brent ended the call with a silky, “I’ll see you soon, pet,” and Jaylin almost choked as he pulled the phone away from his ear, staring blindly down at the screen.
The thought of spending a full week in Brent’s presence with no respite made him feel sick with dread.
His stomach turned as his imagination conjured up everything Brent might put him through, make him do.
The thought of being at his total mercy for a week, a week of Brent getting creative–
And so much of his life would be upset by this too, fuck— work.
He’d taken all those shifts for next week without stopping to think that Brent might want him exclusively.
Stupid, stupid. He might even get fired for this, might lose a job that had been good so far, and Jaylin had been watching his savings steadily climb with a shaky sort of pride, but if he lost El Guanaco , there went Jaylin’s fantasy of actually being able to leave Brent behind for good, at least for the rest of the year—
The room started spinning as Jaylin clutched his phone and tried to breathe and not lose it in Hiro’s kitchen. It was only when he heard a dim, “Jaylin? Jaylin, can you hear me?” that he registered he was no longer alone anymore.
He took in a big, unsteady gulp of air and did his best to focus. Hiro was at the open entrance to the kitchen and looking at him with naked concern. Jaylin’s insides withered that bit more.
“Jaylin?” Hiro asked again, softly, as if worried he’d spook Jaylin. “Do you want to sit down on the couch?”
Jaylin nodded jerkily, and Hiro gave him a wide berth as they left the kitchen, sitting down on the very opposite end of the couch. Jaylin hated it, hated the distance. Just a few minutes ago things were comfortable and easy.
But Jaylin should have known. Things were never allowed to be easy for him.
The silence stretched.
“Is there anything I can do?” Hiro asked quietly. “Some way I could help?”
Jaylin stared at his hands. He had tonight and Friday free, and then he was Brent’s for a week. Trading his body and whatever dignity he had left so that he continued to have a place to live and could pay for school in the desperate hope that he’d someday be in a better place.
“Jaylin…” Hiro sounded like he was in pain, but Jaylin couldn't bring himself to look up. “If there’s something I can do, you–you know you can talk to me, right?”
It was the final straw that broke him. Hiro was too good to him. Too good for him.
So Jaylin opened his mouth and ruined it.
“I’m with someone,” he said to his knees. He didn't dare a glance at Hiro. “Kind of. But it’s not—I don’t—” he took a shuddering breath. Fuck, this was so hard. “But I don’t want to be with him anymore.”