Astrid’s Column
Astrid’s Column
Dear I Need Help,
Your question has left me stumped for a few weeks. Every time I start to respond, I see another angle to consider.
Keep in mind—I’m not a professional. You should consider making an appointment with one and hearing them out.
My gut instinct is that this isn’t about flirting, nor is it about boundaries. Your letter doesn’t read as someone with low confidence, either. I bet you’re a strong and successful woman who knows what she brings to the table. (Go, you!)
If we were sitting down for a glass of wine, I’d ask you how often you and your man have honest conversations. How vulnerable are you with one another? Do you feel safe enough in your relationship to speak freely about who you are and what you need?
Because something is amiss here, and you know it. Your lack of empathy for your boyfriend’s opinion and his needs says a lot, too.
Hold off on the wedding until you can be honest enough with yourself to figure out why you need this attention, and until you feel safe enough with him to explain it and be heard.
You deserve to be happy. So does he.
Not every story has a villain. But if you don’t do the work to find happiness—whatever that looks like for you—you could wind up being the villain in your own story.
I’d hate to see that happen.