11. Ellie
11
ELLIE
L egs tucked underneath her on the sofa, blanket wrapped around her and gin and tonic in hand, Ellie sighed with contentment. This was how life should be.
‘Ooh, that hits the spot!’ Her gran raised her glass. ‘Here’s to discovering new gins and new tonics and enjoying them!’ She winked at Ellie. ‘But most of all, here’s to having my beautiful granddaughter home for a while.’
‘Cheers, Gran.’ Ellie raised her glass, then took a sip. She coughed. ‘Gosh, that’s strong!’
‘Too much tonic drowns the flavour of the gin, darling.’ Her gran chuckled. ‘And that’s not acceptable at all.’
Ellie took another sip. ‘It’s delicious. What flavour is it?’
‘This is the rhubarb and vanilla gin with elderflower tonic.’
Ellie took another sip, then set the heavy glass down on the coffee table. She had a feeling that if she didn’t, she’d keep drinking and it was strong, so she wanted to take her time. ‘So how have you been, Gran?’
‘I’m good, thanks. Just carrying on as I always do.’
Ellie nodded. ‘It’s good to be home. I forget when I’m away exactly how much I love the village and this cottage, as well as your strong gin and tonics.’
Pearl laughed. ‘It is a lovely place to live and yes, I do make the best G&T I’ve ever tasted. I can’t abide the pub ones you get with a teaspoon of gin and a pint of tonic. Who wants their gin overwhelmed?’
‘Well, I don’t think gin has done you any harm.’ Ellie thought her gran looked phenomenal with her glowing skin, toned figure, and bright eyes. She was seventy-five but looked around twenty years younger, if not more. ‘I can’t believe you’re five years off eighty.’
Pearl shook her head. ‘Now we’ll have none of that talk, young lady. No one in this house is going to be eighty anytime soon!’
‘You can’t stop time, Gran.’
‘True. But I can deny time.’ Pearl swigged her drink. ‘Only joking, Ellie. You know I’m proud of my age and have never lied about it. I don’t understand that. Why would you be ashamed of getting older when being able to age is a gift that not all people get? Look at that beautiful young woman who passed away a few years ago.’
‘Who?’ Ellie frowned, trying to recall if her gran had mentioned this to her at some point.
‘Kimberley Wu-Holmes. She was an intelligent person, an anaesthetist, and a wife and mum. She had everything to live for and then some drugged up wastrel killed her in a car pile up and left her husband and children to manage without her.’
‘That’s terrible.’ Ellie gulped. ‘The poor woman and her poor family.’
‘Life can be cruel.’ Pearl sighed. ‘We all lose loved ones but as you get older you expect it, just not when you’re as young as Kimberley was. I often think of those poor little children being left without a mum.’
‘It’s very sad.’ Ellie shook her head.
‘You might have seen them in the café earlier with their dad,’ her gran said. ‘Tall, handsome man with short hair and a beard?’
Ellie frowned as she thought back. ‘Yes. With two young children sitting by the bookshelves.’
‘That’s right. Lovely man he is, although he won’t let anyone get close.’
Ellie had noticed Jasper and how handsome he was, but it had been a fleeting awareness. She’d been emotional at seeing her gran and at being home in the gorgeous village again, so her handsome man radar hadn’t been functioning at full capacity.
‘And you lost Grampa quite young too,’ Ellie said, thinking of his ruddy cheeks and thick white hair, a moustache that tickled when he kissed her cheek. He’d been a big man capable of scooping her up onto his shoulders then walking along the beach with her, pointing out landmarks and telling her myths and legends about the area.
‘I did. Not as young as Jasper losing his wife, but too young all the same.’ Her gran smiled sadly. ‘Feels like it happened yesterday but, of course, it didn’t. It’ll be twenty years this November.’
‘Twenty years ago, that he gave his life to save another.’ Ellie thought of that terrible night when they’d had one of the worst storms in years. A local teenager been drinking with his friends, and they’d dared him to cliff dive then swim around the coastline. Naturally, he ran into trouble, and the lifeboat went out to rescue him. During the rescue attempt, three crew members, including her grandpa, were thrown from the boat. He’d helped the other two clamber back in, along with the teenager, but then the current had been too strong and he’d been tired. A wave swept him along, then the swell pulled him under, and the sea claimed him. His friends had tried everything to get him back, but it had been too awful a night and too powerful a storm. It had only been the following day, in the calm that came afterwards, that the search party had found her grampa on a beach further along the coast. He’d been a strong and experienced swimmer, but no human being was a match for the sea when it roared. The sea had to be respected or the consequences could be tragic. ‘Are you OK?’ she inquired gently.
‘I’m OK.’ Her gran raised her glass. ‘To absent friends, especially my boy. He was always my boy, you know, even though he was older than me. To die like that at sixty was so sad, but knowing him as I did and how much he loved the sea, it was probably the way he’d have wanted to go. He was always an adventurous bugger and liked wild swimming, skiing, rock climbing. What they call an adrenaline junkie now, I guess. But it was one of the things I loved about him. He died a hero, a very brave man. He was such a hunk.’ She grinned at Ellie. ‘I know you won’t want to think about your grampa in that way, but he was hunky, and I adored him.’
‘I know you did.’ Ellie looked over at the photos of her grampa that adorned the shelves, the mantelpiece, and the walls. Her gran had told her that in his youth he reminded her of Marlon Brando, and he’d only improved with age. Ellie could see why her gran found him so attractive, because he had been handsome, large and masculine. It was what she found attractive in men herself. Ellie ending up with Barnaby was quite odd, actually, because he’d been small and not at all rugged. He’d also been obsessed with his appearance and with taking selfies, which was something else she wasn’t fussy about.
‘But such is life. I’m grateful that I had him around for as long as I did and that he loved me the way he did.’ Her gran sat forwards and placed her glass on the coffee table. ‘Anyway, my darling, tell me what brought you home.’
‘Sure.’ Ellie unfolded her legs and shifted her position on the sofa, then sipped her drink, needing another mouthful of gin before she shared her news. ‘Things with Barnaby just came to a head.’
‘Go on.’ Her gran didn’t look surprised, which made Ellie wonder if she’d seen this coming.
‘Well … it all came about because I went for an audition and I think Ramona arranged it to set me up to fail.’
‘What? Why would she do that?’ Her gran’s voice rose as she spoke. ‘She was your agent and isn’t an agent supposed to have your back?’
‘I don’t think she ever wanted to sign me, in all honesty, although I wanted to believe she did at the time. She did it as a favour for Barnaby’s parents and then she just wanted rid of me at the earliest opportunity.’
‘But you were with her for a few years?’
‘Yes, but she always sent me to auditions I didn’t have a chance of getting. I don’t think she liked me.’
‘Why wouldn’t she like you?’ Her gran had her hands on her knees now, sitting on the edge of the sofa as if she would spring forwards at any moment and rush to hunt Ramona down. The tension in her posture was palpable, her muscles coiled like a tightly wound spring awaiting release.
‘How could anyone not like you?’
‘Well…’ Ellie shrugged. ‘I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I certainly wasn’t hers. Or Barnaby’s it seems.’
‘Oh darling, their loss is my gain.’
‘Thanks, Gran, you always say the kindest things.’
‘I love you and can’t understand how anyone couldn’t love you.’
‘The last audition she sent me on was awful. The casting director told me to tap dance, and as you know, I’ve never done tap dancing before. I decided to improvise and was going for gold when one of my shoes came loose and flew off.’
Her gran covered her mouth with a hand. ‘No!’
‘Yes. It flew through the air and hit the casting director smack bang in the face.’
‘No!’ Her gran shook her head, mouth wide open now and hands on her cheeks.
‘Yup. Gave her a nosebleed and everything.’ Ellie had avoided sharing this information with her gran over the phone because she hadn’t wanted her to worry and she’d felt it was best delivered in person. Sharing it now though was a huge relief. She’d never liked keeping things from her gran.
‘Goodness! What did you do?’
‘Stood there like a lemon while they ushered her off to get it seen to then grabbed my things and left. Without my lost shoe, though.’
‘Oh, Ellie, that’s awful but kind of…’ Her gran bit her lip but her shoulders were shaking. ‘K-kind of … f-funny!’
As her gran snorted, Ellie felt laughter bubbling in her belly, and it soon burst out of her. The pair of them laughed until tears were running down their cheeks and their stomachs were aching. When she could catch her breath, Ellie said, ‘That’s the most I’ve laughed in ages.’
‘Me too. I told you gin is great stuff, didn’t I?’
‘It is, but it’s not just the gin, it’s you and how you reacted. I’ve struggled to see the funny side of what happened, but it is amusing. I mean … my shoe hit her in the face, and she was furious. It was awful at the time, and I felt bad for her, but she was a bit cold towards me before it happened.’
‘Perhaps it made her realise you were destined for shoe-business. Or that you were shoe-ting f or the stars! Who knows?’
They started giggling again, and it took even longer for them to calm down this time.
‘Sounds like she had it coming.’ Her gran shrugged as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. ‘If the shoe fits and all that! She might be horrible to everyone she auditions. Some people can get so stuck up their own bottoms with their sense of self-importance that they forget all about what it’s like to be human. No one should forget about being kind and compassionate.’
‘I agree. When I got home and told Barnaby, he wasn’t mad but then he explained why. He had his own news that he was going travelling for a year.’
‘Did he ask you to go?’
‘Nope. He wanted to go and find himself.’
‘Ah well … it’s a good job he’s got Mummy and Daddy’s money to be able to do that, eh?’
‘It’s true.’ Ellie inclined her head. ‘It’s not cheap finding yourself these days.’
‘He’s going to do some sole-searching!’ Her gran winked. That led to more laughter and Ellie felt the tension of the past few months seeping from her like air from a slowly deflating balloon. It seemed that gin, laughter, and a loving gran were the best medicine, the medicine she had needed without even realising it.
‘So you’re not going back to him?’ her gran asked.
‘No. We’re done. I did stay on to house-sit, which is why I didn’t tell you before now. I was embarrassed it had gone so wrong, and I didn’t want to tell you over the phone or by message. Besides which, I wanted to see your face when I told you about #shoe-gate.’ Ellie had also wanted the time to mull it over before she told her gran because she hadn’t been 100% certain how she felt about it. Until now.
‘I’m certainly relishing it.’ Her gran sipped her drink. ‘The #shoegate bit not the part about your boyfriend being an idiot.’
Ellie sighed. ‘Anyway … Ramona let me go and so did my boyfriend and his family, so here I am.’
‘What are your plans now? Will you try to find a local agent and audition here?’
‘The thought chills me, to be honest, so I want to take some time and think about what comes next.’
‘That is very wise of you. Don’t rush anything. Just enjoy being home. Breathe. Walk. Eat. Relax. Give yourself some space and it will all become clear in time.’
‘I hope so.’
‘I know so, my darling. I’ve been through plenty over the years and time and space always help to clarify your next steps.’
‘Thanks, Gran.’
‘Right then…’ Her gran held up her empty glass. ‘Shall we have another drinky-poo and something to eat?’
‘That sounds amazing.’ Ellie put a hand to her stomach as it growled loudly. ‘I’m famished now.’
‘Me too. Gin always gives me an appetite.’ Her gran stood up and went to the doorway. ‘You coming?’
‘I certainly am.’ Ellie placed the fleecy blanket on the sofa, then stood up, picked up her glass and followed her gran. She paused in the doorway and looked back at the cosy lounge with its curtains drawn, log fire burning, candles lit and lamps glowing in the corners. The large photo of her grampa on the mantelpiece shone in the light. It was almost like he was glowing in the photo, like he was breathing and not just an image captured in a long ago time. But then he lived on in her heart and memories and always would do.
‘Come on, darling!’ her gran called from the kitchen. ‘You can pour the drinks while I whip up some supper.’
‘Coming!’ Ellie called. She blew a kiss toward her grampa and went to join her gran. ‘It is so good to be home.’