26. Jasper
26
JASPER
T he next morning, Jasper woke with a start as he realised he wasn’t alone in bed. He lay there for a few moments before opening his eyes. It had been so long since he’d had company overnight, other than when the children crept into his bed to seek comfort, and it was strange. He knew what had happened the night before and he knew it wasn’t Kimberley next to him, but just for a second or two, he allowed himself to imagine it was. However, the thought didn’t sit well with him because as much as he had loved Kimberley, and always would, he had feelings for Ellie. His heart embraced Ellie; he couldn’t imagine life without her now.
Last night, they had kissed and cuddled, talked and made love. Like waking from a long slumber, Jasper was in awe of how wonderful it was being in someone’s arms again. For so long he had felt numb, but now he felt alive and it was all down to Ellie and how he felt when he was with her. Yes, he had been healing slowly for some time but then Ellie had arrived in the village and everything had changed.
Opening his eyes, he turned and gazed at her. With her dark hair tumbling over the pillow, she was truly beautiful. The morning sunshine had created a shadowy light in the bedroom because, while the blinds were closed, he’d left the curtains open last night. He lay there looking at her, admiring the curve of her neck, the gentle fluttering of her dark eyelashes upon her cheeks and marvelling at how much he cared for her already.
Not wanting to disturb her, he slid out of bed and grabbed his shorts and T-shirt and left the bedroom, planning on making coffee and breakfast. He dressed in the family bathroom, then headed downstairs to let Wiggy out.
The dog wagged his tail, then scampered outside to go for a wee before sitting on the doorstep and watching some seagulls soaring over the sea. Wiggy loved watching birds and would sit there for hours, occasionally letting out a bark of excitement.
He made a pot of coffee, then some pancake batter and heated the pan. He poured batter into the hot frying pan, then added some organic blueberries. The fresh morning air entered the kitchen and Wiggy came with it, nose raised as he sniffed at the pancakes.
‘Don’t worry, boy, I’ll keep one for you,’ Jasper said with a smile and the dog gave a soft woof of appreciation. ‘I don’t know if you noticed, but we had company overnight.’
Wiggy tilted his head as if considering what Jasper had said.
He turned the pancakes over, before grabbing some mugs and a tray from the cupboard. He added a small jug of milk, sugar, and some cutlery, then placed the cooked pancakes onto a plate. After he’d chopped one pancake up, he dropped it into Wiggy’s bowl.
‘Enjoy.’
He closed the bifold doors, carried the tray upstairs and went into the bedroom. He set it down on the bedside table and got into bed.
‘Good morning,’ he said as Ellie stirred.
‘Morning.’ She smiled sleepily up at him. ‘What time is it?’
‘Just after nine.’
‘Nine?’ She sat up and the covers dropped, so she grabbed them and covered herself shyly. ‘How did we sleep so long?’
‘We had a busy night.’ He laughed and heat filled his cheeks. It had been a busy night, and he had enjoyed every minute of getting to know Ellie better. ‘I guess we needed the rest.’
She pushed a hand through her dark hair. ‘I guess we did.’
‘Coffee?’
‘Please.’
Her smile dropped. ‘Oh god! Gran will wonder where I am.’
‘You sent her a message last night. Remember?’
She frowned, then nodded slowly. ‘I did, didn’t I? It slipped my mind. But then, as you said … we were busy.’ Her smile made his chest tighten. She was so beautiful.
‘Here.’ He handed her a mug of coffee. ‘What exactly did you say to your gran?’
‘Just that I was with you and she shouldn’t worry.’ Ellie brushed a finger over her bottom lip and Jasper wanted to move closer and kiss her the way he’d done last night. ‘Oh man, she’s going to tease me about this.’
‘Why?’ Concern filled him. Would Pearl disapprove?
‘Well … She knows I like you and has told me to relax and take things as they come, but even so… It’s obvious what happened last night.’ She gestured between them and Jasper laughed.
‘We’re consenting adults. The children aren’t here. It’s all good.’
He couldn’t resist her any longer. He touched her cheek, then pushed her hair over her right shoulder and kissed the soft skin there. She was warm and smelt so good he wanted to keep kissing her but he knew where that would lead so he sat back and reached for his coffee instead. It was still early so they didn’t need to rush a thing.
Sipping the coffee, he felt the caffeine infuse him with energy. ‘I made you pancakes.’
He set his mug down, then got the plate and placed it on her lap.
‘Wow!’ She smiled. ‘Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I had breakfast in bed.’
‘You should always be treated to breakfast in bed.’ He handed her a fork. ‘I would make breakfast for you, although on a normal day you’d have two children and a dog trying to share it.’
Ellie giggled, and relief coursed through him. That image could have put her off, but she didn’t seem to mind.
‘A breakfast pile on?’ she asked, cutting into a pancake and offering him the fork. He opened his mouth and took the pancake, then she cut herself a piece and tasted it. ‘Yum!’
‘I make good pancakes.’ He smiled as she offered him more.
They ate the pancakes and drank their coffee, side by side in his bed. Jasper relished the breakfast, his appetite roused by their nocturnal activities and by the welcome company. He had tried not to dwell on waking alone for the past three years, but it wasn’t something he had enjoyed and not something he’d have done by choice. However, he also knew that this could be a one off as far as Ellie was concerned, or at least that it couldn’t happen when the children were home. Not for a while, anyway. If something came of this between him and Ellie, then he would have to introduce the idea to his children slowly. They would always come first.
After they’d finished, Jasper placed their empty mugs on the plate on the tray, then turned back to Ellie. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good. You?’
‘Good.’ He nodded. ‘Well, better than good but … like I said last night, I don’t do this and so it’s taking me a bit of adjusting.’
‘Me too.’ She reached for his hand and held it between both of hers. ‘But that’s OK. We have to start somewhere, right?’
‘We do. Or we’d be stuck in limbo forever.’ Ellie shuffled closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, and he kissed her hair. ‘I guess I was worried that this wouldn’t feel right when I woke up this morning. No other woman has ever slept in this room. The bed is new because I bought it last year but … Well, what I’m trying to say is that?—’
‘It’s OK.’ Ellie turned and placed her hands on his shoulders. ‘You don’t need to explain anything to me. I understand what a big deal this is, and it means the world that I’m here with you.’ She kissed him gently and ran her hands up and down his arms, stroked his shoulders, neck, and face, kissing him all the time. It felt right and Jasper relaxed into her kisses, into her touch and lost himself in her.
Later, as they lay in each other’s arms, Jasper stroked Ellie’s hair and let himself be right there in the moment. He’d spent so many days and nights lost in grief and sadness, wishing things were different and that life hadn’t been so cruel to him and his children. But with time, he’d come to accept that there were things beyond his control and all he could do was make the most of what he did have rather than regret what he didn’t.
Right here and now, he had Ellie’s company, and he was grateful for that.
W hen they’d both showered and dressed, Jasper made more coffee and was sitting at the kitchen island waiting for Ellie. Wiggy was back on seagull duty and Jasper watched him, fascinated by the dog’s concentration. When he set his mind on something, he had incredible focus.
He heard footsteps on the stairs, then Ellie entered the kitchen and even though it was only minutes since he’d seen her, his stomach flipped. But then he saw her expression…
‘Ellie, what is it?’
‘I just … picked up my phone to check I had no messages and spotted an email. I opened it and … It was my agent.’
‘Your agent?’
She nodded. ‘Ramona. Well, she’s not my agent now, but she was and then she dumped me. But now she says she needs to speak to me because she has exciting news.’
Ellie didn’t look excited at the prospect of speaking to this Ramona. She had one arm wrapped around her waist and she was worrying her bottom lip. But surely exciting meant exciting so…
‘Why don’t you call her?’ he asked. ‘Then you’ll know what it is.’
‘I … I guess I could. No harm in speaking to her, is there?’
‘None at all.’ Jasper got off his stool and took Ellie’s mug over to her. ‘Here, have your coffee and I’ll take Wiggy for a walk so you can have some privacy.’
‘There’s no need for that. I can speak to her in the lounge if that’s OK?’
‘As long as you’re sure?’
Ellie nodded, then went through to the lounge and Jasper went to the bifold doors and perched next to Wiggy. ‘Hey boy. It’s a beautiful day.’
Wiggy’s tail thumped against the decking and he looked up at Jasper with eyes filled with love. Jasper ran his right hand over Wiggy’s head and ears, then down his back, the fur soft and warm to the touch.
It felt like hours as he waited for Ellie but soon enough; she returned to the kitchen so Jasper went to her. ‘You OK?’
She nodded. ‘Yes. Well, I think so. See, the things is … Ramona apologised for letting me go and said it was an oversight on her part and she did it in the heat of the moment. She said that she does value me and wants me as her client.’ Ellie sucked in a shaky breath. ‘She has a role for me. Well, an audition for a role.’
‘She does? Well, that’s brilliant, right?’ Jasper smiled.
‘I think it is. But … If I secure it, it will involve some travelling and see… it’s a small part in a TV show set in Iceland. It would be a start though, she said. Apparently, the director saw me audition for something else and liked me and when the actor they’d chosen for the role dropped out, he contacted Ramona and asked if I would audition for it. I mean … I know these things happen like this sometimes but it’s never happened to me before and so I didn’t expect it but … now it has.’ She set her mug on the island and then her phone. ‘But it would mean going to London for the audition and then to Iceland for five months.’
Jasper swallowed his dismay and forced his lips into a smile. Five months was a long time. Five months could change everything. But … if this was what Ellie wanted, then he would never stand in the way.
‘Ellie, this sounds like a brilliant opportunity.’
‘It does. I know that.’
‘If it’s what you want, then you have to go for it.’
She wrapped her arms around herself. ‘But this … us. Where would that leave us?’
Her eyes searched his face, and he sighed inwardly. What could he say to make this right for her?
‘We’ll find a way if this is meant to be.’
He opened his arms, and she stepped into his embrace. He held her tight, wishing his heart would slow down. Wishing things could be simple for once. Wanting Ellie to do what was right for her because he would never want to deter her from chasing her dreams. But he couldn’t help wondering what it would mean for them when this was all so new. Wondering if their dreams were destined to intertwine, or if they were like ships drifting on different currents, never meant to dock at the same shore.