10. Vivi
Vivi
With a final pat to Cade’s back, I straighten. The nightlight in the wall gives enough brightness for me to see his eyes are still closed and his little chest is rising and falling in the breaths of deep sleep.
It’s amazing how quickly I’ve come to know what his cries and movements mean.
He’s been fussy, squirming and crying, since before we arrived in Atlanta.
Not that I blame him. We’d pushed the final leg of our trip to get here and Cade might have gone close to five hours between the last bottle he had this morning before we left Love Beach and the one we gave him at the rest stop but that gap wasn’t the start of a new routine.
Nope. Two hours after we stopped for gas and snacks, we were almost at our destination and he was raising holy hell from the backseat.
I’m not sure who regretted our decision to continue more. The baby who gave himself the hiccups he cried so hard, the man gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles as he battled late afternoon traffic, or me, the contortionist-wannabe attempting to soothe Cade from the front seat.
Now, after three hours rocking, a bottle, and a diaper change, Cade is sleeping soundly and I’m ready to join him.
Except now I have to deal with another troubling situation.
The apartment only has one bedroom.
One bed.
A bed Cade will not be sleeping in because when they bought and set up the apartment, they organized a cradle and change table for him.
Which means I have to choose between sleeping in the same bed as Easton without the baby barrier or on the couch.
“He asleep?” Easton’s whisper has me turning.
“Yeah. He’s out.” I head for the doorway.
“We should have stopped.”
“Probably. We’ll know next time.”
“We’ll plan the return trip better.”
“Did you eat?” I move past him into the hall. “I’m assuming they had the fridge stocked with food.”
“Yes, they did. We’re set for a week.” Easton follows me into the living room. “And you were right. This building is a block away from where Jenny lived.”
Grabbing my laptop, I take it over to the small dining table. “I’ll see if I can find?—”
“Leave it.” Easton pushed my laptop closed before it has a chance to boot up. “Let’s just eat then go to bed. It’s been a long day and if the last few hours are anything to go by, it’ll be a long night.”
I want to argue. If I’ve got something to do, I can avoid going to bed. Avoid the decision of where that will be.
“I see your brain spinning. Why don’t you go have a shower while I heat up the Chinese take-out someone kindly put in the fridge.”
The idea of getting naked with Easton only a room away has my body tingling and heating and my mind wishing for things it has no right wishing for.
I can’t lie to myself, even if I should to keep from letting my imagination get out of hand. When he talked about getting married, I wanted to yell yes.
The emotions his request provoked tumbled through me in a jumble of chaotic excitement and fear.
In twenty-four hours, I’ve gone from being on a first date to moving in to mothering a child to wanting a legal connection to Easton no other woman has.
It’s crazy. Even for me. And I’ve been called insane on more than one occasion.
But is it crazy?
There’s no denying the connection Easton and I have. It’s like an invisible string, tethering us and entangling us in a way I can’t explain.
And I can usually explain everything.
Not this.
I’m the first to admit I’m not good with emotions. My brain works too fast to process most of what I feel but I’m not oblivious to them either.
I know I don’t think or act the way most people do. It makes it hard to establish any kind of relationship. Laney and Hadley are the only friends I have.
Don’t get me wrong, I have acquaintances. But those are connections of a different kind. People who think a lot like me and are essentially invisible except for the words on my computer screen.
It’s why the one and only time I let a man talk me into a romantic relationship, it ended badly. Mostly because he thought he could use me and my skills to blackmail people.
Of course I had no clue he was using my computer and the programs I had on it to dig up dirt on others. The second I did, I fixed it. And him.
Is there a difference between then and now?
Easton wants to use me for a different reason. A good reason. One that will benefit the baby left in his care and the woman who left him.
I can’t begrudge him wanting to use everything he can to help Cade and Lisa. And I can’t deny my desire to help him do it.
Does that stem from my attraction to Easton or because I can’t stand the idea of Cade going into care or Lisa getting into trouble for abandoning her child?
Both seem to have equal weight. Although the thought of being married to Easton, even if it is in name only, has me wanting to take our relationship beyond the ‘friends’ I think we are.
“Penny for them?”
Lifting my gaze, I lock eyes with Easton. “There’s a lot going on up here.” I tap my temple.
“I don’t doubt it. Can I help you sort through any of it?”
He’s being careful. I don’t know why I think that, but his words are measured and his voice is smooth, soothing as though he’s trying not to trigger a reaction.
“I know it’s been a lot.” He waves a hand between us. “Us finally going on a date and then finding a baby…”
His words taper off and I don’t need to be a genius to work out the rest. “Do you really think it would help Cade if we were married?”
If he’s surprised by my question, he doesn’t show it. “I do. But I don’t want you to think you have to do it.”
“I don’t feel pressured.” And I don’t. Which is something else I should examine more closely. Maybe a shower is a good idea. I can clear my head and take a break away from the man who inspires dirty thoughts right alongside comfort and safety.
“We can table that until we hear what the lawyer says on Monday.” He glances at my laptop. “And you can leave the search alone for now too. We should take tonight and tomorrow to rest. We don’t have to go out for anything so we can stay holed up here and worry about everything else later.”
I want to—he has no idea how much I want to forget the world outside of this apartment, except that’s something I’ve never been able to do.
“You can’t stop, can you?” The smile that tilts one side of his mouth makes me smile in return.
“No. I’ve tried all sorts of things to switch my brain off. It’s my default mode. Even sleeping I’m thinking. My dreams are always about whatever is happening in my life and how to deal with it.”
His smile turns downright devilish. “I’m sure I could get you out of your head.”
The innuendo behind his words has my insides tightening. A hot coil of need twisting between my hips. “Easton…”
“I shouldn’t have said that. It isn’t what we are. Yet.” He takes a step closer. “But don’t make the mistake of thinking I don’t want us to be there. Just because my attention has been diverted by the arrival of Cade doesn’t mean I’m not still thinking about our date. About how I wanted it to be the first of many.”
“You skipped over a few steps.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I haven’t had a kiss goodnight and I moved in with you. And now, a second date hasn’t been set and you’re asking me to marry you.”
He grins down at me. “I’m a fast worker.”
“Hopefully not fast with everything you do.” I slap a hand over my mouth as Easton bursts out laughing.
I’m not good at flirting, or dating, or talking really. I say weird things at times and my brain is always two blocks ahead of everyone else’s.
“Stop.” Easton’s hands curl over my shoulders and he bends over so we’re eye to eye. “I like that you say what you think, that you’re, at times, brutally honest. It’s refreshing. Real. And that’s a hard thing to find.”
“I want to marry you. Not just because it will help you keep Cade.” I shrug. “I’ve lived on gut instinct most of my life, definitely since I left home, and I know it’s the right thing to do except I can’t say it’s one hundred percent because of Cade.”
“And that has your mind spinning, trying to work out why you agreed.”
“No. I agreed because I was already thinking about it.”
“If we’re being honest, I have to tell you I want to marry you for reasons other than Cade, too.”
“Are we crazy? Because it’s not the first time I’ve been called that and it doesn’t bother me what anyone thinks anyway. Only you and me. If you want to get married and I want to get married, then we should. Shouldn’t we?”
The more we talk, the more confused I get. I wish there was a way to make the decision and not second guess it. This is not the way I usually operate and I have to say if this is what people with lower IQs deal with, they can have it.
“Maybe we should do what you said, put everything aside and wait until after we’ve spoken to the lawyer on Monday,” I say hoping to end the conversation.
“Only if that means you aren’t going to disappear into your head for the next two days.”
I glance at the big screen on the wall. “Maybe we can watch a movie to distract us.”
“We can. Then again, it might be better to try and get some sleep while Cade’s asleep.”
“He’ll probably be awake again soon.” I look at my watch. “In about two hours maybe. Barely enough time to eat and shower.”
And there goes my imagination again. Thinking about getting naked with Easton in the next room. What would he do if I left the bathroom door open?
“What’s going through your head right now?” he asks with a grin.
“Nothing.”
His laughter echoes off the walls. “Right. Talking about having a shower always makes you red in the face then.” His gaze drops to my chest where I know my nipples are poking against the fabric of my t-shirt.
I keep my mouth shut. I have no answer for him. At least not a verbal one. The signals my body is sending are answer enough.
With a huff, I step out of his hold and move around him. “I’ll shower first.” I don’t wait for him to comment. Just quick-march my way out of the room to the safety of the bathroom and a locked door between me and what’s proving to be my ultimate temptation.