CHAPTER NINE
FALCON
The sun rose over us as Bella slept on my chest. We missed the sunrise together, but the weight of her curled against me beneath my jacket may have been one of the best damn experiences of my life.
Topped only by the pure, unadulterated trust she gave me last night when she let me take something from her I still wasn’t sure she should have let me have.
She stirred as I stroked her hair, tangling my fingers in the silky strands and untangling them just to amuse myself, because I could. She’d put her dress back on afterward and I’d covered her in my jacket, pressing us together on the rug for warmth, but the wind had dropped. I ached to sleep with her naked, just to feel her pressed to me skin to skin.
Wake up with her in the sunshine, roll her over and kiss her until she moaned for me.
But I didn’t want to hurt her or wake her early this morning, so I simply stroked her hair and held her tight.
Like she asked.
She’d also asked that I didn’t leave her. That seemed an impossibility, but I had an idea on that front, though I wasn’t sure how she’d take the offer when I made it.
“Morning, Falcon.” She looked up at me, all heavy eyes, dozy with sleep.
So fucking beautiful.
I don't deserve her.
“Morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”
“Good.” She pressed into me with a contented sigh.
I swore my heart would explode with every fresh sound she made. “Hurting?”
She shrugged. “A bit. In the right way, though.”
I swallowed. “Yeah.”
Fuck, she was brave. I saw how much taking me hurt her last night, but she did it anyway. The feel of her clamping down on me afterward tested every inch of my resolve. I continued stroking her hair, and rested my head back on the rug. Sure, my back ached a bit but I’d survive. She felt too damn good where she was to move.
“Shouldn't we?—”
“Nope.” I pressed my hand to the back of her head and held her to my chest. “If you get up, I'll find out just how many swats it takes to mark up that pretty, pale backside of yours.”
“You promise?”
I raised my head. “Girl, I don’t know if you just sassed me or bratted out on me, but damn if I don't want to find out.” I squeezed her tight. “Don’t. You. Move.”
“Yes, Falcon.” She settled into me, her weight heavier with every breath that left her body, tension releasing from her slim frame.
So fucking perfect right where she was. The natural submissive in her called to me, but it was the spirit in her that sassed me when she needed to that I loved the most.
Loved .
I swallowed hard and shoved a hand through my hair. Fuck Me. My breaths came short. But the panic I expected didn’t slam into me with the force it should have.
Eventually, my existential crisis abated and the sun flared into my eyes. And my bladder decided it couldn't take any more. “I’ll be back in a minute. Alright?” I pulled her up my body and kissed her puffy lips.
Christ, she did mark up fast. Her lips were red and swollen and I hadn't even been that rough with her. We could have some fun with that later. I stroked her cheek as her lashes fluttered and she gave me a dozy nod, snuggling back beneath the jacket when I slipped out from beneath her.
By the time I found a tree to relieve myself against and returned, Bella was sitting upright, her hair unwound as she ran her hands through the long strands, pulling out the knots.
“I can do that for you,” I offered, coiling some of the flyaway waves in my fingers.
She bit her lip, then nodded. I knew that look. Pressing a kiss to her temple, I worked out the knots gently with my fingers and began a long braid down her back as I sought out the right words. “No one has looked after you for a long time, have they?”
She jerked like I had pinched her. “That’s– Dad just needs a lot of help,” she rushed to explain, twisting on the spot. “He hasn’t been the same since?—”
I pressed my fingers over her lips. “I know you love him, beautiful. You don’t need to explain that to me. I have an…easily influenced father of my own.”
I didn't want to portray him as weak, not even to a girl who I suspected would understand him just fine. Even if she probably wouldn’t like him or any of his habits. Hell, I hated him half the time myself, even if I’d still step in front of him the next time someone tried to end his life.
If I was there that day.
That she mightn’t be able to deal with the lifestyle that came with my family deep stung at chest level. I tied her hair off at the end and dropped the braid over her shoulder. “Can I walk you back home?”
I still had a few more days before we hit a critical level where I’d have to walk away from her, but the job my father set earlier hung over me. I needed to get that done so I could work out how to keep Bella near me, if that was what she wanted.
I cleared my throat when she didn’t move or say anything. “I know we just met, but I wondered if?—”
“Yes.”
She didn’t stutter this time, didn’t stumble over her words or misspeak.
The corner of my mouth crooked up. “You haven’t heard the offer yet.”
Bella twisted, seeking out my hand with hers. I laced our fingers together as she turned to me on her knees. “Is it something that means we aren’t a state away from college? Because I looked Rippton U up the other day. It’s in Cali. That… is not where I go to school.”
I smirked. “Smart girl.” I tugged her closer, sliding my hands to her waist when she crept toward me on her hands and knees. Hell, the view of her like that in her soft green dress did things to my head that I didn’t question right now.
“Maybe.” Her smile faded. “It’s an exclusive school. My father’s business… he isn’t good at paying attention. Not since…” She looked down at the rug, studying our entwined hands. “I haven't checked recently but I think we’re as close to broke as we can be without selling everything up.”
“Ah.” I leaned in. “I’m pretty sure Rippton offers scholarships.” Or I’ll make my own if she won’t let me pay her tithe . The school demanded the students pay their personal fees out of their own pocket directly. But that system could easily be overturned. Money did that. “We can work something out. They have an excellent art department. I’m sure there’s something you could enroll in that would suit.” The edge of desperation settled into my words.
“Maybe,” she whispered.
I kissed her, needing her closer. “Try this with me,” I begged, not caring how I sounded. “I know it’s been a few days. I know this is crazy, but?—”
Christ, her stutter was contagious. The whole thing was laughable. I should head back to the marina, do what my father required of, and sail the fuck away.
I knew I wouldn’t.
“I want to try.” She pressed her body to mine. “It’s weird and I know I’m not supposed to latch onto the first person who—” A small frown interrupted her smooth skin when she didn’t complete her sentence.
“Don’t you dare finish that,” I threatened lightly after it became clear she wouldn’t anyway. “Whichever asshole gave you that idea is an idiot. Give your respect and love to whoever makes you feel the safest and happiest, Bella. Make it your choice, not the end result of some system that was never designed with you in mind.”
She blinked at me. “That was quite a speech.”
I smirked. “Been known to happen.” I shoved up to my knees and kissed her again, then stood. “I’ve got one job to do, then I’m yours. I’ll walk you to the jetty if you won’t let me take you all the way home?”
She nodded, letting me haul her upright. We stood there, latched together, wobbling and giggling together like the teens we weren’t. Her kisses left me heady and I knew I wouldn’t forget this woman fast as she left me at the end of the jetty with a soft kiss that sliced through my heart and the sort of goodbye I never wanted to hear again.
Because she made it sound like she meant it for the last time.
Everything we’d talked about slammed into me as I gripped her waist tight when she turned away.
“No.” My voice came out too loud and clear for a still morning, the sound sure to carry over the water. “You do not leave me like this, Bella. Not now, or ever. That sounded like—” I ground my teeth together, boring my gaze into hers.
“Goodbye,” she whispered.
“Do you believe that?” I caught her chin and tipped her head back.
She shook her head, then shrugged. “I don’t know what to believe. You're so perfect and beautiful and sweet. And I’m just…” She shrugged again.
I pulled her against my chest, the need to claim her consuming me. “I need you to listen to me, Bella,” I said in a low voice, but loud enough for her to hear me clearly. “Some time since I met you I’d fallen in love with you and no amount of pretending that hasn’t happened will change that. Shh,” I added when she opened her mouth. “Please, hear me out. I’m shit at this stuff, so please, let me say this. Last night—that nearly broke me. Seeing you hurting because I did that to you? Fuck, Bella. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But one of the most beautiful, too. Because you came to me, willingly. Me, of all people. I’m so far from fucking perfect it’s not funny. I’m not some good boy you take home to daddy, beautiful. You do know what it is I do, don’t you?” I raised both eyebrows.
She huffed and tapped at my face. “Stop that. You’ll give yourself a headache.”
“Bella,” I warned, though a reluctant laugh bubbled up inside me.
“Yes, I know what you do, Falcon,” she said crossly. “I’d have to be a fool to not know you’re mafia. You were shot, for heaven’s sake. I’m sure you do your fair share of that too.”
I blinked at her. “Do you understand the connotations of that? Because most people run screaming at this point if they aren’t in the life.”
Her head tipped to one side as she watched me with that sweetly curious expression. “Are you going to shoot me?”
“No, Bella.”
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“No.” I squeezed her waist until she made a different sort of sound. I growled low in response. “But I might show you other things I like.”
“Good. Then I want to learn how to give you as much pleasure as you gave me last night. And I want to understand all the ink on you. Plus probably a thousand other questions that will annoy the hell out of you.”
“Too cute.”
“Okay, so are we good then?” She smiled brightly at me.
I blinked. “I still can't work out if it’s sass or brat but damn girl, we are going to talk about that spanking I promised you.” I dropped a hand to her ass and squeezed hard until she whimpered deliciously. My lips brushed her ear. “And your thighs do bruise well. I checked while you slept.”
Her hitched breath did strange things to my cock.
“You checked?—”
She could think on that one for a while.
“Go home, Bella. I’ll message when I’m done, alright?” I kissed her deeply, then decided to hell with all of it, twisting her hair in my fist and made it a touch rougher. My tongue drove into her mouth as her finger closed into fists on my shirt.
When I drew back, she gasped for breath and her cheeks were stained the prettiest pink.
“Is that how you usually kiss?” she asked faintly.
“I told you who I am, Bella. I’ll be sweet with you as long as you need. But I like to play rough now and then.”
Her nails dug into my pecs. “Show me?”
“Fuck, you are a little brat.” What sort of monster had I unleashed with her? And I still wasn’t convinced that she didn’t love every damn minute of what we did. “Go home, Bella,” I ordered. My tone softened, along with my kisses. “I’ll see you soon. Then we can talk about something more…permanent, if that’s what you want.”
She nodded and walked away when I let her go, glancing over her shoulder once. I waited until she disappeared around the corner at the top of the hill, then I made my way back to the boat.
This time, we hadn’t said goodbye at all.