3. Jax
three
Jax
“ D id you design all these tattoos yourself?”
“Yes. I’ve always loved to draw. Becoming a tattoo artist was the only logical step for a career. To have people love your work and trust you so much that they let you mark their skin with something you created that will stay on them forever is the greatest compliment you could ever receive.”
“You’re amazing, Serena Blake. I could spend a lifetime tracing the tattoos on your skin with my tongue.”
“I might have to get some strategically placed, where I want to feel your tongue the most.”
The woman with the light, playful banter was gone when I returned with bagels and pastries from the local bakery. Only a note thanking me for our one night together remained on the bed.
“Are you even listening to me, Jax?” The sound of Amber’s screechy voice cuts through my thoughts of Serena.
Serena, my muse.
Heartbroken by her sudden departure from my life, I immersed myself in writing songs about her. For months, I secluded myself in my home studio, poring over verse after verse and chord after chord until each song was as perfect as she is.
All my hard work earned me a Diamond Award for selling over ten million copies in the U.S. alone, along with multiple Grammys. But it never won me the woman for whom the songs were written.
I didn't reach out to Serena after that night. The note she left made it clear it was just one night. If I hadn’t taken her virginity, I might have thought that was a lie, given how her note was worded.
It’s time I found out the truth. Is the real Serena the warm, passionate woman I made love to all night, or the cold, distant woman the note portrayed her to be?
“I’m listening. But I think instead of extending my tour, I'll take a break.”
“What? You can’t be serious. Your fans will forget all about you if you don’t continue the tour.”
“Then they’re not my fans if they do.” I’m tired of this constant fight with Amber. And even more tired of the continuous tours and public appearances.
It’s time for me to settle down and start a family, and if she'll have me, there’s only one woman I want to do that with.
“Have you lost your mind?”
“No, Amber, for the first time in my life, I think I finally know what I want. And I’m going back to Love Beach to claim her.” A calmness settles over me as I say those words out loud.
Amber’s harsh laugh breaks through the calm, “So, this is all because of that little tramp I found in your hotel room all those months ago. Unbelievable, you get you dick wet with some groupie, and now you want to throw your whole career away for her.” A darkness fills Amber’s eyes, making my skin crawl. “I knew I should have been more forceful with the wording of that note.”
Anger washes over me, replacing the sensation on my skin. “What note are you talking about?” I clench my teeth, unable to say another word as the realization of what Amber just admitted dawns on me.
But Amber doesn’t answer my question. Instead, she rambles on and on as if she's lost her mind. “You’re no better than McKenna, throwing your career away on some nobody from some nowhere shit hole town."
Amber begins to pace the length of her office, only stopping when I rush to her side and grab her arm. “I’m only going to ask you this one more time. What note are you talking about?”
She tries to break free from my grasp, but I tighten my grip on her arm, not caring about leaving bruises. Giving up the struggle, she concedes, “Fine. I went to your hotel room that morning to discuss an alternative to finding you a fake girlfriend since McKenna cut me off as her manager the night before, only to find you not there and that little tramp in your bed.”
Unable to control the rage her words cause me, I tighten my grip even more, “Call Serena a tramp one more time and I’ll snap your arm like the twig it is.” I give her arm a shake to emphasize my point. “Got it?”
“Got it.” She says in a whiny voice that I never realized she had before.
“Now finish telling me about that damn note.”
“Like I said, once I saw…her in your bed sound asleep, it didn’t take a genius to know what had happened. And since I’ve never known you to have sex with anyone the whole time I’ve known you, I knew she must be someone special—someone who held the power to ruin your career. So I handled the situation like any good manager would.”
“And how exactly did you do that?” I growl. My patience wearing thin.
“You’re not the first male rockstar I’ve managed. I keep NDA paperwork with me at all times. All I had to do was add your name, wake her up, have her sign it, and kick her out of your room. I expected more of a fuss from her, but she looked shocked and didn’t argue. I had plenty of time to write you a note from her once I saw her name on the NDA paperwork and leave the room before you returned.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal; she ruined two lives. “It wasn’t hard to convince you to leave as soon as possible since you were so heartbroken. And your music from that day forward has been some of the best I’ve ever heard. You were on your way to being a Rock Legend. You still could be if you forgot about that little nobody.”
Amber wrote that note. Not Serena.
Hope swells in my chest. It’s not too late to make things right with Serena. But first, I have to clear out the trash in my life. “Amber, you’re fired. My lawyers will contact you. But if you know what’s good for you, you will stay out of my life for good.” With a slight shove, I release her arm and rush out of her office to claim the woman I can’t stop thinking about.
***
“Get out of my way, Creed. I want to see Serena.” I didn’t just spend five hours on my private plane to let this jackass stand between me and the woman I’m pretty sure I love.
“What if she doesn’t want to see you?” Creed has a point, but I’m not backing down.
“Look, I’ll explain everything later, after I’ve talked to Serena.” I’m tired, and all I want is to hold Serena in my arms again. I wasn’t even sure if Serena would be at the tattoo shop, but since I didn’t know her home address, this was my first stop.
Creed crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at me as if he’s daring me to make a move so he can punch me.
“Oh, Creed, honey. I want to buy my grandson a gift certificate for a tattoo.” An older woman with shockingly blue hair waves at Creed.
Creed turns his attention to the old woman, saying, “Sure thing, Netty. I’ll be right with you." Then, with a firm look, he shifts his gaze back to me and adds, “Don’t take another step into my shop, or I’ll have to call the authorities and have you arrested for trespassing.”
I bide my time, glancing at the framed pictures of tattoos on the wall while waiting for the perfect opportunity to search the back rooms of the tattoo parlor.
Netty provides me the perfect opportunity to slip into the back hallway as she grabs Creed’s arm and pulls him closer to a picture on the wall. “How much does that one cost?” She asks, drawing Creed’s attention away from me.
With a quick sidestep, I dash down the hallway, opening each door as I move from room to room. I hear muffled voices coming from behind the last door. Silently I turn the knob praying that Serena is behind the door.
Once the door is ajar, Serena’s voice floats through. “Hopefully, by the time this little guy is old enough to ask, I’ll have found someone who loves me and will love him like his own.”
All that processes in my brain is that Serena is looking for someone to love her who isn’t me.
“Like Hell you will!” I throw open the door, needing to see Serena with my own eyes, hoping like Hell my ears deceived me, only to have an angry Creed follow me into the room.
“I told you once, Shepard, you’re not welcome in my tattoo shop, ever,” Creed yells, just as a baby's cry fills the air.
“Baby?” I look from a shocked Serena to the baby squirming in her arms; she seems so natural holding it. When it dawns on me, it’s her baby. But who’s the father? I step closer, an invisible force pulling me toward mother and child. The baby’s cries lessen as I approach. Suddenly, I find myself staring into little tear-stained eyes that match my own, and I know the baby is mine and Serena’s, and I couldn’t be happier. “What’s our baby’s name, Serena?”
At McKenna’s sharp intake of breath and Creed’s growl, I realize they don’t know about the night Serena and I spent together. “Our son’s name is Cash.”
I have a son.
I extend my hand, wanting to touch him, but I hesitate, not wanting to upset Serena. She has kept his paternity a secret for so long for a reason. Will she let me be a part of his life?
Before we can talk, Cash’s chubby little hand grips my finger tightly, as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear.
Not a chance, buddy. I’m here to stay.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding. This guy is Cash’s father?” A frustrated Creed curses behind me.
“Language.” McKenna scowls, grasping Creed by the arm. “Let’s give the three of them some privacy.” McKenna leads Creed out of the room, shutting the door behind her.
“Can I hold him?” The awe in my voice reverberates through the room, and while I’m thrilled to discover I have a son, I’m even more excited to be reunited with Serena after all these long, lonely months.
“Have you ever held a baby?” She eyes me skeptically as she adjusts the baby from a lying down position to a sitting position.
That’s when I notice her shirt is lifted, revealing one of her luscious breasts; I remember worshiping that night. Only now they're bigger and fuller than I remember. I notice a small drop of breast milk clinging to her hard nipple, and I’m caught between lust and awe.
I’m in awe of knowing she is nourishing our child. And struck with lust over imagining suckling on her breast myself and tasting her sweet milk. It’s certainly not a kink I thought I would ever be into. But with Serena, it feels right.
“Once or twice.” I lie, knowing damn well I’ve never touched a baby in my life, let alone held one. But for my baby and my woman, I’ll lie about it.
Serena raises an eyebrow at me but doesn’t say anything; she only gestures for me to take the chair McKenna vacated. She settles the baby into my waiting arms, guiding me on how to hold him correctly.
“Do I need to hold his head?”
“No, he’s nine months old—he can hold it on his own.”
Nine months old.
I’ve lost so much valuable time with Serena and Cash, during these months we’ve been apart. “Go out with me.” Serena slowly blinks at my words, making me realize I need to take this slower than I had planned. “All three of us. Let’s do something tomorrow as a family. Give me a chance to explain everything.” I add when she looks like she is going to say no.
“Finally, after what seems like forever, she responds, “Okay.”