Chapter 46
GRAYSON
Selena’s okay. She has a concussion. She’ll need stitches on that cut. But, she’s going to be okay.
Whatever’s happened between us, however I may feel, I made a promise to stay away from her. That promise lasted as long as the bus ride back to campus.
The desperate need to ensure she’s alright is the reason I’m speeding down the highway. It’s why I’m in the hospital, holding a bouquet of yellow tulips and an iced vanilla latte, waiting to be allowed into her room. It’s why I lied when they asked if I was family.
“Yes,” I muttered out of desperation, but even as I said the word, it didn’t feel untrue.
I have family. None that I was born into though. Sammy, Trevor, Troy, and Big Mike, they’re like brothers. And Selena? I can’t pinpoint when things changed, but she’s family too.
A nurse walks out and informs me I can go in. I’m unprepared for the nervous energy coursing through my body. Sweet relief floods my system when I finally step inside her room.
Selena’s sitting on the edge of a narrow bed, her legs swinging over the side. There’s dried blood and grass stains on her jersey. Gauze covers her temple and part of her eyebrow. She looks confused to see me and so fucking beautiful at the same time, I have the strangest urge to weep in gratitude.
“Grayson? What are you doing here?” she asks and I don’t have an answer.
A bruise is already showing on her cheekbone. Fucking hate that she got hurt. With a deep breath, I push past the uncertainty keeping me by the door because the need to make sure she’s okay is too powerful to ignore.
“I saw what happened,” I mumble and she frowns at me. I can’t get the fucking image out of my head. That elbow. Thrown on purpose. On fucking purpose! Directly at Selena’s temple and she went down. There was blood. I feel sick just thinking about it again.
“How do you feel?” I ask, moving to stand near the bed. The urge to touch her, hold her, it’s unbearable. “Are you in a lot of pain?“
“Are you here visiting someone?” she asks, ignoring my questions.
“What do you mean?”
One side of her mouth curves up. “You’re carrying flowers and an iced coffee?”
“Right,” I swallow.
I’m not a flowers or gift-giving kind of guy.
Never been. Except... “This is for you. This too. Both are,” I stutter, tripping over my words.
The only other time I’ve given anyone flowers willingly, were the ones I gave Selena before the Gamma party.
Don’t fucking ask me why I got them, I have no fucking clue.
She mentioned yellow tulips once, back in junior year. Not sure why that bit of information stuck in my head.
In any case, I’m glad she’s alright. That doesn’t explain why I’m still nervous though.
Inhale confidence.
Exhale doubt.
What’s my favorite dessert?
“You’re my favorite dessert,” I blurt out and immediately realize—and regret—saying that part out loud.
Her breath catches as her eyes collide with mine. I swallow hard.
“I meant to ask, what’s your favorite dessert?”
Selena accepts the bouquet. Her lips lift into a soft smile as she studies the yellow tulips in her arms. My breath catches in my throat as I drink her in. Strange how I find myself smiling too.
“Probably churros,” she says, her green eyes are back on me. The sound of my heart pounding nearly drowns out her words. “Thank you for these. Can’t believe you remembered I like tulips.”
Me either. I place her drink on the overbed table.
“You look nervous, Rhodes.”
Fuck yeah, I am! Words are stumbling out of my mouth that have no fucking business being part of the conversation.
“I took a nasty hit to the head,” she sighs. Even though I want to wrap my arms around her and pull her body flush against mine, I shove my hands in my pockets.
“Right, yeah. You probably want to rest. I should go.” I’m at the door before I do something stupid, something I can’t come back from.
“Hey, Grayson?”
“Yes, princess?”
Something like that! Fuck! I’ve gone twenty-two years on this fucking planet never blushing—not once— until this very moment.
“Sorry, I…” I have no words. Only stupid shit is coming out of my mouth. Which is why I can’t do anything but stand there and run a hand through my hair.
“Can you help me with something?” she asks and I’m at her side in the blink of an eye.
“Are you okay? Are you in pain?” I move the flowers to the table. “Should I call a nurse?”
“Grayson,” she giggles softly because I’m being a fucking idiot. When she reaches for my hand, a serene calm settles over me.
“I’m sorry you saw that hit. I’m sure it looked bad—”
It looked fucking terrible, horrible, it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen!
“—but I’m okay.”
“Are you?” My lungs constrict and I squeeze her hand.
She tugs on mine until I’m sitting on the edge of the bed too.
“I was worried. No one knew anything,” I say running a hand down my face.
“You should’ve called me,” I urge, knowing she doesn’t have to do a damn thing, but needing to say it nonetheless.
I don’t know what I’m feeling, don’t understand this anguish gripping my chest.
Selena tilts her head to the side. There’s a tranquility in her demeanor that’s increasing how nervous I feel.
“We don’t do that,” she reminds me, shrugging one shoulder and looking away.
“Perhaps we should,” I counter, unequipped for the sudden rush of emotion overpowering me.
When her eyes meet mine, I swallow past the lump in my throat to cup her pretty face in both my hands, careful of the bruise on her cheek. It’s frighteningly red and purple now. Rage courses through my veins at the sight.
“Hey, I’m okay,” she whispers as if sensing my agitation.
I shake my head. “Call me next time. Please. Text me. Let me know you’re okay. Anytime. About anything. Doesn’t matter when or where or why. If something happened to you—”
I stop myself from saying more. Feel like I’m out of breath, like I’ve been running for days.
Our eyes are lock.
“I thought about calling you,” she admits, offering me a small smile and I’m able to breathe again. “But I didn’t have my phone. One of the EMTs on the ambulance let me borrow hers and called Sammy for me.”
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Me too.”
“Perhaps it’s a good thing you won’t be playing much longer,” I mutter.
Her smile disappears entirely. “What do you mean?”
She looks hurt and offended.
“You said…you’re not playing after college.”
“I did say that,” she frowns, pulling away from me. “If I tell you something, you promise not to say anything?”
I nod once. She takes a deep breath and then, “I want to keep playing.”
If she wants to continue her soccer career, I want that for her. I do, but I would fucking hate to see her hurt again.
“This is probably not the best time to make a decision like that,” I say.
She shifts on the bed. “You sound like my parents,” she sighs. “They don’t think I can do it either.”
“Whoa, hold on. I never said that.”
“It’s fine,” she says, waving the whole thing away.
I move to stand between her legs. “It’s not fine.” I wait for her to look at me. “You could do it. You’d be amazing.”
Selena scoffs.
“When have I ever paid you a compliment?” I ask her.
She gives me a watery smile as she blinks back tears. “Ignore me—” she chuckles.
I can’t, I tried.
“—I’m just feeling emotional right now.”
That makes two of us.
A nurse walks in and I take a step back. This is the longest, most heartfelt conversation I’ve ever had with anyone. It’s not as exhausting or tedious as I assumed it would be. When the nurse leaves, I don’t hesitate to close the distance between us again.
“Your parents don’t want you to play?” I ask, continuing the conversation where we left off.
“No, they want me to have a quote-unquote secure job. I mean, it makes sense.” She’s quiet and chews on her bottom lip. “You know they haven’t been to a game the whole time I’ve been at TLU. They haven’t seen me play in four years. Not since high school.” Tears fill her green eyes.
“What’s stopping you from playing?” I ask because I don’t ever want to see her look as dejected as she does right now.
“I don’t know.” She looks down at her hands. “I guess…maybe…I feel like I have to do what they expect of me.”
I reach out to tuck a loose strand of chocolate colored hair behind her ear. “Why?”
She lifts her gaze to mine. “Because they gave up their dreams for me. For Sammy. They came here and started over with nothing. Literally nothing except the clothes on their backs.”
When a few tears fall, I wipe them away. I cup one side of her face and she covers my hand with hers.
“I want to pay them back for everything they’ve done, you know?”
“That’s…admirable.” I sit on the edge of the bed again and can’t help but be in awe of her.
“Is that another compliment?” she sniffles.
“Possibly.”
She smiles and I smile. There’s just one more thing I need to say on the subject.
“I’m the last person who should have an opinion,” I clear my throat, “but perhaps you repay your parents’ sacrifice by following your own dreams, not by relinquishing them.”
Selena’s looking up at me with those wide, innocent eyes, searching my face. Perhaps she’s thinking I’m full of shit.
“On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with following the safe path. Degree, stability, desk job.” Hell, that’s what my father has lined up for me.
“Not a desk job,” she sighs, “but yeah.” She’s still holding my hand. “That’s pretty much what they expect. They don’t believe someone like me can make it.”
Someone like her? Someone smart and capable and talented?! The fuck!?
“They said that?!” I cry, angry that they would dare.
“Not so loud,” she whispers, wincing in discomfort.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” I stand, not knowing what to do. How do I make her feel better?
“I’m okay. Just a little shocked,” she whispers. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize before.”
She’s teasing me and I’ll take it.