Chapter 34
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Jodi asked Mylie later that day as Mylie picked up fishing supplies from the warehouse
for her date with Ben.
“No,” Mylie replied. “I have no idea what I’m doing, actually.”
“And you don’t think this is a bad idea?” Jodi continued. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you, I am, but I can’t see how
this will end any other way but in heartbreak.”
“I’ve spent the last ten years wondering what this might be like,” Mylie replied. “I’m not going to spend another second wondering.”
“But he’s leaving.”
“Then he leaves,” Mylie said. “But at least I’ll know.”
Jodi sighed. “So, you’re taking him fishing?”
Mylie nodded. “I bet he hasn’t been since the last time I took him,” she said.
“And you think taking him fishing is romantic?”
“We’ll be alone on a boat together in the dark,” Mylie said.
“With fish,” Jodi said.
“And alcohol,” Mylie countered.
“Alcohol does help,” Jodi mused. “But still, Mylie, I don’t want you to get hurt again. You were a wreck last time.”
“I was eighteen last time,” Mylie said. “I’ve grown up.”
Jodi narrowed her eyes at her friend.
After Ben left ten years ago, Mylie felt loss. It wasn’t just the fact that he wasn’t there to talk to, it was the fact that he was physically gone from her—that steadying presence he’d always been. Sure, at first, they’d talked on the phone quite a bit. They’d texted some. But it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t there . They weren’t there for each other, and after a while, as their discussions became further and further apart, it was harder
to update each other on their lives. Eventually, there were more awkward silences than there was talking.
Mylie sighed. “I just need to know, Jo,” she said. “I just need to know what it’s like.”
“What sleeping with him is like?” Jodi asked.
“No,” Mylie said. “I mean, yes , but it’s not just that. I need to know if this can work.”
“But you already know it can’t.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Mylie pushed the pads of her fingers into her forehead. “God, can you just let me make a mistake?”
Jodi threw up her hands. “Fine, but you better call me and tell me how it goes.”
“I will,” Mylie promised. “Don’t tell anyone, okay? The last thing we need is for the whole town to be involved.”
“So don’t tell Granny?” Jodi asked with a grin.
“Absolutely don’t tell Granny.”
Making sure Granny didn’t find out that hanging out with Ben meant being on a date proved to be more difficult than Mylie
had imagined.
“So, you’re taking the boat out for some night fishing?” Granny asked. “With Ben?”
“He said he hasn’t been in years, so I offered,” Mylie replied as casually as she could muster. “It’s no big deal.”
Granny narrowed her eyes at Mylie. “Uh-huh.”
“It’s not,” Mylie said. “We used to go out all the time on the boat when we were kids.”
“When you were kids,” Granny repeated.
“Please don’t make a big deal out of this, Granny,” Mylie said, packing the last sandwich into the cooler. “We’re just going
fishing.”
“Fine,” Granny replied, waving a hand in the air. “I won’t make a big deal out of it, but be careful out there on that boat.”
“We will,” Mylie said, trying to keep her giddy excitement from bubbling over. “I’ll be back later tonight. Tell Cassie, will
you?”
“She’s over at Allie’s,” Granny replied. “But as soon as she’s back, I’ll let her know.”
“I guess they got things worked out?” Mylie asked.
“Yes,” Granny said. “Apparently. But you know how those kids are. I’m sure they’ll be feuding again in a couple of days over
something else.”
“Just enjoy the peace tonight,” Mylie said. “You have the whole house to yourself.”
“I’m going to take a long bath,” Granny replied. “And have a glass of wine and read one of my sexy books.”
Mylie laughed. “Enjoy it.”
Mylie had the little boat ready to go by the time Ben arrived, right at dusk, carrying a six-pack of beer in one hand and
a bottle of wine in the other. “I wasn’t sure what to get,” he said. “So, I just got both.”
“Perfect,” Mylie said with a grin. “We’ll have plenty to drink.”
Mylie loaded the boat with the fishing poles and tackle, while Ben heaved the cooler and drinks inside. There were two seats
inside the little boat, one on each end, and Mylie sat down by the one nearest the motor and started it up. The light was
just beginning to fade as they made their way out onto the lake.
She found a cove not far from the house and anchored there, grinning at Ben in the moonlight. “How does this work?”
Ben glanced around. “Well, I guess we could swim to shore if we’re attacked by some kind of lake monster, so it works.”
“What is it with you and lake monsters?” Mylie asked, remembering the last time they’d been out on a boat and Ben’s near refusal
to get into the water for a swim.
“I can’t see the bottom,” Ben replied. “I don’t like that.”
“You can barely see the top right now,” Mylie joked, handing him one of the fishing poles she’d brought. “You still remember
how to bait a hook?”
“Barely,” Ben admitted. “But I think I can do it.”
Mylie squinted in the darkness to make sure he was doing it correctly. She was impressed to see that he expertly baited the
hook without any hesitation. She turned to the lake to cast her line.
She sat back in the boat and breathed. She took note of the gentle breeze and the smell of the lake around her. It was here,
on the water, that she felt the most at home. She stole a glance over at Ben and had to laugh because his look of concentration
on his fishing pole was so intense.
“Are you laughing at me?” Ben asked. He set his pole down and reached into the cooler for a beer. “You want something?”
Mylie picked up the bottle of wine, glad Ben had chosen something cheap with a screw top. “I’m good,” she said. She took a
drink right from the bottle.
“Reminds me of high school,” Ben said.
“Yeah, except back then it was Boone’s Farm.”
“Like I could forget that red vomit on the floorboard of Jodi’s car,” Ben replied.
“She won’t let me forget it, that’s for sure,” Mylie mumbled.
Ben took a swig of his beer and said, “Do you do this a lot? Come out here fishing?”
“No,” Mylie replied. “Not as much as I used to.”
“How come?”
Mylie shrugged even though she knew Ben probably couldn’t see the motion. “I don’t know,” she said. “I guess I’ve just been
busy.”
“With work?”
Again, Mylie shrugged. “It does take up a lot of time. I love it, though.”
“You always did want to start a business,” Ben replied. “It seems like it’s doing well.”
“I just wanted to take care of myself, you know?” Mylie said. “I like knowing that I’m building something for Cassie, even
if she doesn’t want to work there. I like knowing I’m doing something good for the community.”
“Even if they don’t always appreciate it,” Ben acknowledged.
Mylie knew what, rather who he was talking about. “Robbie Price is just one person,” she replied. “Yeah, he sucks, and I never should have hired him,
but for the most part, everyone is supportive. It’s been good for the town, to have a business like this here.”
“I can’t believe he’s still acting the same as he did in high school,” Ben said. “How is it that he hasn’t grown up?”
“Some people don’t change,” Mylie replied.
“That’s sad.”
“Have you?” Mylie asked Ben. “Changed all that much?”
“Since high school?” Ben asked. “Yeah, I like to think I have.”
Mylie thought about it. “Well, you certainly look different.”
Even in the dark, even from across the boat, Mylie felt Ben stiffen. “I sometimes wonder if things would have been different
if I’d been more confident in high school.”
Mylie set her fishing pole down and picked up the wine bottle again, putting it to her lips. After a few moments, she replied, “Ben, it wasn’t right the way Robbie and some of the others treated you. But you could have had more friends than just me and a few others. You were so closed off back then. It was like you didn’t want people to like you.”
“I didn’t know how to get people to like me,” Ben said. “I’ve never been good at that like you are.”
Mylie laughed. It was a rough, sarcastic sound. “I’m not good at it,” she said. “I had to learn. Because I couldn’t stand
for people to feel sorry for me. The girl without parents. The girl whose mother couldn’t be bothered to stay home for more
than a few days at a time. I had to make people like me.”
“My dad was good at it,” Ben said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Everyone loved him.”
Mylie wanted to scoot over and take his hand. “I’m sure he was wonderful,” she said. Ben never talked about his father. At
least, he hadn’t before. She’d tried, unsuccessfully, a few times to get him to talk about the man he’d lost so long ago,
but every time, Ben shut down and refused. She understood. She didn’t like to talk about the people she’d lost, either.
“He was,” Ben replied. “Sometimes I’m afraid I’m forgetting him—how he smiled, what his voice sounded like.” He turned himself
toward Mylie. “It’s always been easier to shut myself off than get to know people. My dad helped me with that, and then when
he was gone... I don’t know.”
“I get it,” Mylie said.
“This place,” Ben continued. “It reminds me of how sad I was. I just missed my dad so much. I missed Chicago. I didn’t know
who I was without those two things.”
“And now?” Mylie asked.
Mylie couldn’t see Ben, and he didn’t respond. She knew it was complicated. Life was complicated, which seemed like such a cliché thing to think, but it was true . There were wounds that didn’t always heal, they mostly just scabbed over, and Mylie wondered if Ben’s scabs were bleeding
now that he was back here confronting his past.
“Hey! I think I’ve got something!” Ben said suddenly, reeling in his line. “I’ve got something!”
Mylie scooted over to him and turned on the flashlight she kept between the seats of the boat. She flicked it on in time to
see a fish splash up and out of the water, wiggling on the hook.
“You do!” Mylie exclaimed. “Look at that!”
In the glow of the flashlight Ben grinned at her, and Mylie thought to herself that as far as memories go, this was bound
to be a good one.