Chapter 42
Cassie Mason was annoyed. She’d woken up in a perfectly fine mood, but that afternoon, she’d learned from Allie that Ryan
was dating someone else. Allie had promised not to keep any more secrets from her after the debacle at the dance, but Cassie
wasn’t sure that she wanted to know everything. Sometimes she wished fourteen wasn’t so hard. Life had seemed so much simpler when she was twelve, even
thirteen, before she’d cared much about boys and being popular at school. High school hadn’t been what she’d expected it to
be. Her sister made it sound fun, like the best time, but more and more Cassie felt like she was a step behind everyone else—like
there was a joke she didn’t get.
When she stalked downstairs looking disheveled, Mylie looked up from her orange juice and said, “Are you okay?”
Cassie only grunted.
“Want to talk about it?”
“No,” Cassie replied, even though she did. Talking to Mylie was tricky. She was her sister, but not, at the same time. When
she’d been little, Mylie acted more like a sister. She could run to Mylie with anything, any little problem, and Mylie would
defend her honor to Granny. She’d gotten out of trouble that way time and time again.
Now that Cassie was older, Mylie was still her sister, yes, and acted like her sister a lot of the time, but once in a while, Mylie acted like their mother. Of course, Cassie didn’t really have any idea of what their mother actually acted like, but Mylie acted in a way that Cassie assumed a mother would act—more like Granny.
Cassie tried to think about what it would be like to be Mylie and have a sister so much younger than her. Mylie had been the
age Cassie was right now when Cassie was born, and she shuddered at the thought of caring for a baby. Once, when Cassie had
been very young, seven or eight, she’d gone to a day camp in Rockbridge. It was a science camp, and Cassie was so excited.
But when she got there, she’d overheard a couple of the camp counselors discussing the “sad fact” that Cassie didn’t have
a mother. She wasn’t sure how they found out or why that was supposed to be a sad thing, but when she’d gone home that evening
and cried about it to Mylie, she’d hugged Cassie and said, “Tomorrow, when I pick you up, you can call me Mom.”
“But you’re not my mom,” Cassie had wailed.
“I know that,” Mylie said patiently. “But nobody else knows that except those counselors, and trust me, they won’t mention
it.”
So that’s exactly what Cassie had done. That whole week, Cassie called Mylie her mother. It was only later, years later, that
Cassie found out that Mylie had marched herself into that camp and threatened those counselors within an inch of their lives.
More than that, Cassie hadn’t noticed the stares the other parents gave Mylie at pickup time, whispering among themselves
that Mylie must’ve been a very young teen mom.
“Hello?” Mylie said, sliding her orange juice class over to Cassie. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
Cassie sighed. “Allie told me that Ryan was dating someone else.”
“Dating?” Mylie asked. “Where is he taking her on all that money he makes as an unemployed fourteen-year-old?”
“You know what I mean.”
Mylie nodded. “I do, and I’m sorry. I know you really liked Ryan, but if he cheated on you, he’ll cheat on this girl, too.”
“Maybe,” Cassie replied. “Or maybe I just wasn’t...”
“Nope,” Mylie said, cutting her off. “Don’t even say what you were going to say. It’s not true. It has nothing to do with
you and everything to do with Ryan. Besides, you’re just a freshman. There are plenty of boys out there. You don’t have to
settle for the first one you meet.”
“You did,” Cassie said.
Mylie didn’t say anything for a long moment.
“Well?” Cassie asked. “Didn’t you?”
“It’s complicated,” Mylie said finally.
Cassie rolled her eyes. “That’s what adults always say when they don’t want to talk about something.”
“I didn’t settle for Ben,” Mylie replied. “I was sad when he left, which I know you probably don’t remember because you were so young.”
Again, Cassie rolled her eyes.
“I’m not done,” Mylie said. “I missed him, but I didn’t wait for him. I still dated other people.”
“But you didn’t marry any of those people,” Cassie pointed out.
“Well, I’m not marrying Ben, either,” Mylie replied.
“Why not?”
“Well, we’re only just getting to know each other again,” Mylie said. “And that is also complicated. I know you hate it when
I talk about you being too young to understand some things, but I promise, I’m not trying to make you feel like a little kid.
It’s just that things are different for us now than when we were your age. That’s all.”
Cassie thought about it. She liked Ben. She wouldn’t hate it too terribly if Mylie did marry him. And she understood more than Mylie thought. She knew that Ben was trying to sell that house. She knew he didn’t plan to stay. Did that mean Mylie would leave with him?
“I’m not going anywhere,” Mylie said, as if reading the question on Cassie’s face. “Don’t worry about that.”
“I’m not worried,” Cassie lied. “But I wouldn’t be mad at you if you did... you know, go with him.”
“First of all, he hasn’t asked me to go with him,” Mylie said. “Second of all, I don’t want to go with him.”
“Why not?” Cassie asked. “If you love him.”
“Because I love you more,” Mylie said. “And I love my life here. Ben has always known that.”
“Maybe he’ll stay,” Cassie said.
Mylie gave her a small smile. “Maybe he will.”
But Cassie didn’t believe her.