Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2
Since moving back to Cranberry Harbor Lizzie had found a group of a few good friends that made leaving Sarah back in Boston a little easier. It had been so hard at first to go from working right next to each other in their little newspaper cubicles to FaceTiming when they could, and texting at first daily, and now only a few times a week. Being so far from her best Boston friend, and giving up her apartment were the hardest things about moving back home. That, and the lack of pizza from the North End.
For now she was still living with her parents, which, once she got past the embarrassment of being in her thirties and living at home, was actually pretty sweet. Her parents were the chillest people around, and treated her like the adult she was. They all took turns making dinner or providing healthy take out, and Jack was over often as well. They were already very much family. Jack’s parents had taken to traveling to warmer climes in the winter, so he often joined the Martin’s for meals, sports events, they had even started a weekly movie night, and hosted a game night once a month. Things weren’t exactly popping in Cranberry Harbor in the winter, so they made their own fun.
After leaving Sea Coast, Lizzie headed to yoga class at Lotus. She was now a regular, practicing at least three times a week, usually joined by Alexis and her sister-in-law Shannon, who was lucky enough to have Grabby, aka, Gabby, Lizzie and Matt’s mom, to babysit Sophie. Sometimes Leah Alden, Sea Coast Coffee owner Hope’s granddaughter came too. They were a group of young women who were committed to making changes in the community and were inspiring a whole new group of people to want to get involved with what was happening in Cranberry Harbor. And they were fun.
Lizzie and Alexis grabbed a space in the back corner of the class and rolled out their mats. Lizzie loved Tamara’s classes because, well, for one thing she kept the temperature at a comfortable 71 degrees, and it was the perfect mix of flows, strength work and relaxation. She also diffused a very subtle blend of aromatic oils, and had sweet-smelling beeswax candles scattered throughout the room, so it felt tranquil and relaxing.
“I promise I will have my column for next week by the day after tomorrow,” Alexis says, placing her props - two blocks, a strap and a bolster by her mat. “This is all still so new to me, I freak out every time there’s one due,” she places the bolster in the middle of her mat and sits down, crosses her legs and sighs. “And I know, for someone like you who has multiple stories in every issue that stressing over writing a single column once a month must seem ridiculous, but--”
Lizzie laughs, “Uh, do I get a say in how I feel about this, or should I just sit here and have you spell it out for me?” she smiles at her friend as she joins her, sitting down on her mat right next to hers. “‘Cause I have no problem with you meeting your deadline, your content or anything really, but it seems you think I should. And we’re supposed to be relaxing here, not stressing more about work! For the record? I love what you’re doing and am grateful to have you in the Gazette. Stop beating yourself up. Not allowed!”
Alexis laughs, “Ugh, I know I sound crazy, right?” She shakes her head. “Yoga does not seem to be chilling me out too much, does it?” She laughs.
“Stop apologizing for your work,” Lizzie says. “I love what you’re doing and so do the readers. You are doing a great job helping build community with your column. Considering you had never written professionally until this, it’s really remarkable. So stop making assumptions and just keep doing what you’re doing, okay?” Lizzie puts her arm around her and gives her a hug.
Alexis takes a deep breath and lets it slowly out. “I will give it my very best, it’s just you pay me well, and I want to do a good job.” she says.
“And you are,” Lizzie says, bending down to do some stretches and try to limber up.
Right before class is about to start Shannon and Leah come rushing in, and spying Lizzie and Alexis, quickly scoot over and roll out their mats next to them.
“Sorry I’m late - as usual,” Shannon says, plopping down, looking pretty exhausted. “Sophie did not want me to go, which is so weird, she always loves being with your mom.” She lies back on her mat and sighs. “Can I just lie here in savasana the whole time and you can jostle me when class is over?” she jokes to Lizzie, who laughs too.
“Hey, Tamara always says, ‘do what feels good to you,’ so yeah, go for it,” Lizzie says.
The lights dim a little, and Tamara sits down on a bolster in the front of the room. She is one of those people who just exudes calm. Lizzie often wonders, was she born like that, or is it the yoga? If it’s yoga, Lizzie wonders how many thousands of hours she will need to practice in order to achieve that Tamara-like chill.
“Everyone join me in a seat that is comfortable for you,” she says in a voice that should be on a meditation app. “Let go of whatever you’ve brought to the mat today, and breathe it out.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in, and then lets it go. Lizzie does the same thing, but in her head she’s thinking about the call she forgot to return to the goat cheese maker who wants to advertise in the Gazette, and then there’s that story about the alpacas…”Stop!” she says quietly under her breath, but Alexis hears her and giggles a little.
After an hour of Vinyasa flows, downward facing dogs, childs’ poses and planks, lying down in savasana, or corpse pose, feels well-earned. As she lies still on her mat, Lizzie finds herself thinking about Jack, the future, their future, and wonders if he thinks about it ever. After their broken engagement four years ago they’ve both been a little reluctant to talk about marriage yet. As she slows her breathing, feeling the warmth of the radiant floor heat, the scent of lavender wafting over from the diffuser, she feels calm and centered, which immediately makes her nervous. She smiles to herself. Only I can find a way to make feeling relaxed feel stressful, she thinks and then sighs.
“Oh my gosh, I needed that,” Leah says as they all come back to reality. “I do not know what I would do without yoga in my life. And you three of course.”
Leah was younger than all of them, just in her early 20s, but she was very mature, and having taken over more and more of the day to day responsibility of running Sea Coast, the family coffee shop from her grandmother, she was very much aligned with these three women who all had a good seven or eight years on her. Though they still liked to tease her about how young she was. On top of running Sea Coast, Lizzie had also tapped her as well to write a monthly column in the paper, this one centered on business. How local businesses could become more ecologically sustainable, use social media to build a year-round following, and what it is like being a Gen-Z’er living year-round on the Cape in a town where the median age was 65. She often lamented about the lack of dating opportunities, and Alexis assured her she wasn’t alone. They often commiserate about how the year-round population was so small that when it came to the very small dating pool you’d either dated someone already or, if your family was historically old Cranberry Harbor, were related to them.
“Anyone want to go to Murphy’s for some soup or something?” Leah asked the others as they all rolled up their mats and put back their yoga props.
“I can’t,” Lizzie said, feeling a bit guilty, “I promised my mom I’d help her with a project she’s working on to get people out to vote for the high school improvement fund. I’m sorry.” They walk out to the entry and Lizzie takes her coat off a hook and puts it on. “Rain check?” She pulls her hat on and braces herself for the cold.
“I have to hustle along too,” says Shannon. “I need to have dinner with my family. It’s been a crazy week and we’ve only had dinner together once.” She puts her coat on too. “I feel like such a failure as a mom.”
Lizzie looks over at her and Shannon looks like she’s about to cry. “Oh my gosh, Shannon, you are one of the best moms I know!” Lizzie drops her mat and purse to the floor and hugs her. “You are doing an amazing job raising Sophie. She’s confident, bright, curious and kind.” She’s hugging her and Shannon is sobbing a little. “And we know she did not get that way from my brother,” she sensed a little levity might be helpful right then.
Shannon laughs, wipes her nose on her sleeve and nods. “Oh, yeah, that’s all me!” She’s smiling now, and looks at her friends. “Ugh, I am so sorry, guys, It’s just sometimes it all gets to be a lot. I feel like a mombie.“ They all look at her quizzically. “A mom zombie,” she quickly explains. “Since I’m now running all the children’s programs at the library it's an awful lot.”
“Don’t you ever apologize for sharing your feelings with us, that’s what friends are for! And none of us have kids, so you feel free to remind us of how easy our lives are, okay?” Alexis says. “And I am going to remember that word - I’m betting all mothers feel like Mombies at times.”
Shannon nods. “Okay, I will be sure to do that.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Okay, namaste ladies, I will see you next week.” She looks at Lizzie, actually I’ll see you in five minutes when I come pick up Sophie at your house.”
“I’d love to go get something to eat, Leah,” Alexis says, linking her arm through hers. “I think tonight is their awesome kale soup, and it’s the perfect night for that.”
As they spill out into the parking lot Lizzie can’t help but think about what her own future holds. She’s very glad to be out of the dating world, but wonders if and when she and Jack will take things to the next inevitable place, and if she will ever feel ready to become a mom. She watches Shannon and her brother Matt and cannot imagine balancing being co-editor of the Gazette and the senior reporter, with a baby. She gets in her car and starts it, fastens her seatbelt and sighs. She wasn’t someone who just crossed a bridge before she got there, she was crossing it when she wasn’t even in the county yet. For now she was just going to go home, help her mom make some signs or whatever she wanted her to do, and call her boyfriend when she was done to tell him she loved him, and that was enough for now.