Chapter 15
Savannah
Iknow what this means. He told me this morning. Once I've been inside you there's no going back. You're mine.
I walk into his room with both eyes open.
He lifts me as soon as the door closes, my legs around his waist, his hands on my hips, and he kisses me as if he's been holding back all day.
I feel the same way, like the whole day has been building up to exactly this.
He carries me to the bed and drops me on it and stands there looking at me like he can't believe I'm real.
I feel it too, this surreal quality to the moment, like we've been trying to find our way back to this room for ten years.
"God," he says. "Sav, baby, if you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to explode before I even get inside you. Fuck, you make me feel like a horny teenager."
"That's because that's who you are right now. I feel the same way."
He takes my clothes off, then his own and there's nothing complicated about it, it's just urgency and ten years of waiting.
Then his mouth is on me again and my fingers are in his hair.
I forget everything except what his tongue is doing and how much I've needed this without knowing how much I needed this.
"You're so wet for me, Sav." He pushes two fingers inside and works me while his mouth stays on my clit. I grab the sheets and bite down on my lip. EJ is only across the hall and the effort to stay quiet is considerable.
He reads me perfectly. He has always read me perfectly. The more he works the more I lose my grip on the quiet and when I come, I clutch at his hair, his name escaping louder than I meant it to. Austin comes up and covers my mouth with his kiss, catching the sound, and I’m shaking.
When I come back to myself, he's smiling against my mouth.
"You taste so good, Sav." He pulls back and looks at me with dark eyes. He's sucking his fingers and I watch him do it, this tasting of me. Every coherent thought I had leaves the building completely.
He stands and takes himself in his hand. He's bigger than I remember, harder and looking at me like I'm the only thing in the room. I scoot back against the pillow, and he follows me like he knows exactly where he's going.
"This is your last chance, Sav. Once I'm inside you, you're mine. Fully. I'm claiming you and the whole club is going to know it. So, this is your last chance to say no."
I look up at him. "Austin, I swear to god, stop talking and just…."
"Yeah," he says. "Alright."
He runs his cock through me slowly, coating himself, watching my face while he does it, and then he pushes inside and my whole body adjusts around him and I think, there. That's it. That's the thing I've been missing without knowing what it was.
"Fuck," he breathes, going still inside me. "You feel so good. Fuck, Sav."
"I need more," I say. "I'm not fragile."
He looks at me. "I know you're not."
He pulls back and drives in properly and the sound I make is not quiet. Austin comes down and covers my mouth with his kiss to muffle it. I wrap my legs around him and pull him deeper.
"Being impatient, Sav?"
"It's been ten years, Austin. Please."
He chuckles and gives me exactly what I'm asking for.
Hard, deep and relentless. It feels like heaven and it feels like coming home at the same time.
He knows what he's doing in a way he didn't when we were eighteen and I feel every bit of the difference.
He takes his time even while he gives me what I want.
He watches my face constantly and I stop being self-conscious about it because this is Austin, he's always watching my face.
What he sees there makes him do it harder and that is very much working for me.
I can feel another orgasm building already, faster than I expected. “I’m going to come again.”
"Let it go, baby. Give it to me. I want to feel you squeezing my cock when you come."
His words alone send me most of the way there and then he shifts the angle, hitting exactly the right place.
I come hard, my whole body arching up into him.
I grab the pillow and bury my face in it, and I hear him laugh low in his throat, satisfied and warm.
He keeps moving through every wave of it until I’m completely wrung out.
When I come down, he's still moving and I can feel him growing thicker and his voice has gone rough at the edges.
"Sav. I'm going to come inside you. Are you on the pill?"
"Yes."
"Good." He presses his mouth to my temple, his hips still working. "But just so you know, I wouldn't mind either way. Eventually. When you're ready. I just need you to know that when I say you're mine I mean all of it."
"Austin, stop being sensible and..."
"Yeah, boss," he says, and he takes it up another level and I grab the pillow again and hold on for my life.
He comes with my name in his throat and his face pressed into my neck. I feel every second of it and I want to cry, which isn’t something I was prepared for. He moves the pillow from my face when it's done and looks at me.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Kind of." I press my hand to my chest. "It was more intense than I expected. I feel really emotional."
He rolls onto his side and pulls me into him, one arm solid and warm around me.
His fingers find my arm and start moving up and down it.
The room settles around us as I listen to his heartbeat steady under my ear.
"It was really intense. I felt like we became one person.
Like we always were supposed to be one person, and we just finally got back to it. "
I lie there and breathe. I feel him breathing too. The quiet between us is different from any other quiet I've been in. It's full instead of empty.
I press my face against his chest. "I hurt so much from what you did that I thought I was never going to be able to move on.
And then I realized I hadn't moved on at all.
I just kept going. There's a difference.
" I tilt my head up and look at him. "But being here with you, in your arms, this is where I was always meant to end up. I know that now."
He moves my head so he can look at me. He kisses me, slow at first and then not slow, and when he pulls back, he says, "I love you, Sav."
My heart does the thing it always did when he said it. Like I've been waiting to hear it, and I didn't let myself know I was waiting.
"I love you, too," I say. "But I have to tell you, I love another man as well."
He goes still and then he's up on his elbow and his face has become a complete mask, gone from open to closed in half a second. "What the fuck do you mean? Is it Luke?"
I laugh. I can't help it. "I mean EJ."
The face he makes when he realizes. The relief and then the embarrassment and then the expression of a man who knows he's been had. He comes back down to my level. "Don't do that to me. I can't stand the thought of another man touching you. I'd want to kill him."
"I'm a doctor. You can't kill all my male patients."
"Really? Well, shit." He laughs.
"As much as I'm yours, Austin, you're mine. All of you. I need you to know that."
He pulls me back in and kisses me again.
We lie there in the quiet and his fingers are still on my arm.
After a while he says he's thirsty, so we go downstairs and get a drink, just the two of us moving around his kitchen in the dark.
It's easy and it's ours. I catch him watching me lean against the counter. “What?”
“Nothing,” he says, coming close to me, his lips against my neck. “I just missed this, these quiet moments with you.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him tight, my eyes screwed shut. I never want this to end.
We go back up to bed, and he pulls me in tight against him, the way he used to.
We lie quiet for a bit and then it starts again, slower this time, unhurried, knowing each other better already.
He takes his time in the dark and I take mine and there’s no urgency left.
Just the two of us, the bed and the soft sounds of the house around us.
When we come down from it we’re both thoroughly spent and I’m completely undone in the best possible way.
The room is grey with the early hours before we finally sleep.