Chapter 19
Niki
“Ineed to talk to you about something,” Jacs shouts, rushing towards me as we prepare for the Australian podium ceremony even though Tawny came ninth and Connor sixth.
Normally we wouldn’t attend a podium when none of our drivers are top three, but Senna wanted all the crew to watch to inspire them for the season.
“Me first. I need to talk to Niki,” Connor shouts as he joins us.
“Shouldn’t you be in press?” I ask, holding my hands up, but that gets me nothing as they push each other, shoving and jostling for my attention.
Connor may be over a foot taller than Jacs, but with her, as she calls it, “footballer calves and rugby player thighs” and her sassy Scottish strength, she’s close to knocking him out.
Connor shouts, “Jacs wants—”
Jacs covers Connor’s mouth. My stomach rolls at the germs spreading between them.
“I don’t want anything.”
Connor elbows her in the ribs. He pulls her hand off his mouth and shouts, “Jacs wants to ask your ex out.” He turns and stares at her with a smug smile as my shoulders hunch.
I glance at Jacs, who gets two pink spots on her cheeks. “All I said was she looked hot. And I said it to Senna, not you.”
“And she told you?” I ask as Senna walks towards us.
Connor waves. “No secrets between me and my boo.”
Jacs gags. “You listened to our private chat.” Jacs fixes me with her stare. “Your ex is the sexiest woman I’ve ever met, but I wouldn’t ask her out. She dumped you after your accident!”
“She didn’t dump me. We—”
“Consciously uncoupled,” Connor says, using his fingers as quotation marks.
“Which means I’m not going near her. I’ll admire her from afar,” Jacs adds.
Senna joins us, and Connor attempts to kiss her on her cheek. “Get to press.”
“Sorry,” he says, kissing her before running off with one of the marketing team behind him.
“I suspect Clara’s searching for you now the race is over, but we’ll protect you,” Jacs hisses.
More people push behind me, and I’m tempted to escape, but I lean into the barrier instead. I can survive this.
I keep my head down in case Clara’s close. I regret how I ended things but not the reasons for it. I couldn’t be the person she wanted, and I knew she’d dump me after realising I was a pathetic version of who I was. I flip my cap backwards, ensuring it hides my scars.
As the podium ceremony starts, Jacs nudges me. “Who’s that guy? He’s got the greenest eyes.”
I glance at the stocky guy she’s referring to. “I think that’s Billy Nister’s brother. I recognise him from Billy’s socials this weekend.” My theory is confirmed when Billy gets his third place trophy and nods at the guy, who waves back.
“Hey,” Jacs shouts and beckons the guy over. “Are you Billy’s brother?”
We don’t need more people in this small space.
“Yeah. Stepbrother.” Jacs and Senna introduce themselves, but he stares at me. “You’re Niki Coulter. Billy used to talk about you. He always wanted to beat the best, but you had that accident before he could. I’m Scott.”
He attempts to shake my hand, but I stare at it.
“He doesn’t shake hands,” Senna says quietly.
“Oh, right.” He studies me like I’m a lab rat. I grit my teeth. “I only saw you race once, but you were awesome until your accident.”
“Shush, it’s the national anthem,” Jacs says, before wincing at me and mouthing, Sorry.
I shrug as the Italian anthem plays. When it’s over, the drivers spray champagne in each other’s faces. Billy coats Marco, the winner, in it, while howling with laughter.
“There’s so much money in this sport. It was never like this for me. We were lucky to get a doughnut after a match.” Scott chuckles.
“What did you play?” Jacs asks.
“Niki.” A squeal sounds behind me.
“Clara.” I sigh as she rushes at me. Senna dives between us, saving me from a hug. I need to leave, but I’m shoved against the barrier, and the only way out is passing hundreds of germy strangers.
I’m glad Senna’s protecting me, but I wish Rosie were here. She’d get me out of this in seconds. I resist the temptation to check if she’s messaged again.
“How are things?” I ask Clara while Senna maintains the distance between me and my ex.
“Fabulous. I’ve been in so much demand. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be on a plane to Dubai or sipping cocktails with my agent in the Maldives.” Her voice drops. “But it’s not the same without you. I tried calling, but you never answered.”
“I had things going on.” I tap my cap to ensure it’s secure. She watches with pinched eyes as I add, “I’m glad you’re a success. You deserve it. You’re as beautiful as ever.”
Somehow she pirouettes within the tight crowd. I should have treated her better when we were together. We were more than casual, but we never spoke seriously about the long term. Even so, I still feel bad for how it ended.
“I’m an agent now,” Scott says to Jacs. I’ve missed most of their conversation. He gasps so loudly we turn. He’s practically drooling as he stares at Clara. “Well, fucking hell. Clara Swanaker, the Victoria’s Secret model. I can’t believe it’s you.”
I recognise Clara’s grin immediately. It’s the one she gives her favourite fans. It’s a little coy but with the hint of a tease. She proffers her hand, and Scott kisses it eagerly.
I lift my eyebrows at Jacs, who purses her lips, but her twinkling eyes reveal she’s trying not to laugh. I’ve missed my friends.
“You’re more beautiful in person,” Scott says, making Clara giggle. “Are you in Melbourne for work or pleasure?” He drops his voice and growls the last word.
Clara presses her finger to her mouth and pretends to consider his question.
“I was working in Sydney, but I have some free time.” She glances at me, but I check my phone. No messages. I should leave. The sooner I’m in my home where I can control everything and lock myself away, the better.
Scott slides his fingers through his tight black curls. “Maybe I can help you with that. I know all the beautiful places, although they pale in comparison to you.”
“Was I like this a couple of years ago?” I whisper to Senna.
“You were worse. An absolute prick with women,” Jacs retorts quietly, making Senna laugh.
“Niki, could we chat?” Clara says. “I’ve missed you.”
I grit my teeth. She’s missed the old me, the guy I’m striving to be. “Another time. I’ve got a plane to catch.”
“It’s your private jet. It’ll wait for you,” Clara replies. “I’d love to see some of the places this guy mentioned with you.” She nods in Scott’s direction. “Maybe you could note them for us.”
“Ouch.” Jacs winces at Scott. “That’s got to hurt.”
“Billy was obsessed with you years ago,” Scott says, his stare focused on me.
“Yeah?” I reply.
“He used to talk about how you were the greatest driver and you won all the races, and if he got to be like you, he’d made it.”
My ego hasn’t been stroked like this for a while. I lift my chin. “Is that right?”
He leans in close enough to make me hold my breath. I need to get home.
“That was when he was a teenager. Not now, though. He’s better than you. You’ve were out of the game for too long. What do you do now?”
My nostrils flare as my confidence drops.
“I get on my private jet and get the fuck out of here. Goodbye, everyone. Scott, tell Billy I said hi and that I always came first in Australia.” I turn to Senna.
“I will be the advisor for the team. I’d also like to drive in one of the practice sessions at the next grand prix. ”
I walk away, trying to avoid touching anyone. Someone jolts me, and my cap nearly falls. I press it to my head and stride quicker.
I’m not ready to drive in a practice session. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to drive professionally again.