45. Bailey
Bailey
I took in the barn before me, all of the wood prepped for a fresh coat of paint.
We’d been working on this barn nonstop for weeks now, getting it done a couple weeks ahead of schedule. Lettie had finished with whatever she wanted to get done inside the barn the day after her birthday.
We deserved a day off.
We’d replaced the roof and most of the siding, redone the stalls and replaced the hardware. The barn had always been red, and I knew Lettie would want to keep that aspect of it. Every ranch needed a good ol’ fashioned red barn.
When the Bronsons’ personal barn was built, we’d painted it white to easily distinguish to volunteers which barn the rescues were in, and which one the Bronsons’ horses were in. Though Nova was in the white barn, Travis had declared he was mine, and I was fine to keep him here.
Despite knowing Lettie wouldn’t want to take another day off, I made my way over to the white barn to start tacking up Red and Nova.
I fed them some grain while I worked on saddling them. Once they were done, I offered them both water from the trough, then worked their bits into their mouths. Thankfully, I’d worked on getting Nova over his hatred for the piece of metal, and he took it willingly.
Leading Red and Nova out of the white barn, I found Lettie making her way over to the paint cans with Rouge on her heels. Her eyes found me, confusion clear on her face. “What are you doing?”
I approached her, holding Red’s reins out to her. “We’re taking a break today.”
She grabbed them from me hesitantly. “But we’re almost done.”
“And we can finish tomorrow. Come on. I want to take you somewhere.”
I set my foot in the stirrup, pulling my other leg over Nova’s back. I reached up to pat the dark hair on his neck to reward him for standing still.
Walking off while I got on was just another one of Nova’s quirks we were working on.
Lettie hopped on Red, adjusting the length of her reins in her hand. “Where? ”
I smiled, adding pressure with my legs. Nova started at a walk, Red following beside me with Rouge jogging ahead of us. “You’ll see.”
We took the trail on the west side of the property, leading up into the hills.
“Beckham left around four this morning,” Lettie said.
He was going back on the Wilderness Circuit, finishing it off before the end of the season.
He came home when he could, but most of his time was dedicated to rodeo.
I could never do what he did and love it.
Being thrown off a horse is the last thing a lot of people want to do.
Beckham somehow found joy in it, always searching out the most unruly broncs.
“I made sure to say goodbye to him last night. I’ll miss him, but he’ll be home again before we know it.”
“I know. I just wish he’d stop, find something safer to do. But I wouldn’t tell him that. I worry about him,” she admitted.
“We all do. Beck’s an adrenaline junky. If he retired, I’m sure he’d just go be a skydiver or extreme rock climber or something.”
She shot me a look. “Beckham not on a horse? I couldn’t see it.”
“You never know.”
“Maybe he could partner with Lennon at Tumbleweed. I’m sure he’d offer him a job if he asked.”
Now I was the one to shoot her the look. “Beck working retail? Do you know your brother? ”
The birds chirping in the trees filled the silence that stretched between us before she spoke again. “Speaking of Lennon, I think I may have found him a new employee.”
“I know he’d been having a hard time finding one. Who is it?”
“I don’t know her, but she came up to our booth at the Art & Wine festival. She was really nice. And cute.”
I glanced at Lettie to see her smiling. “I’m sure that will be a plus for Lennon,” I remarked.
She let out a small laugh. “My mom seems to think so, too. She’s apparently a part-time matchmaker now.”
“Is that so?” I grinned. Leave it to Charlotte Bronson to try to play matchmaker with her grown kids.
After about five miles on the trail, we came to a stop at the top of the highest point, a lush green, wide open field before us. You could see for miles, mountains peaking up in the distance. Rouge plopped down in the cool grass, panting from keeping pace with us.
“Bailey... This is beautiful,” Lettie whispered.
I glanced over to her, my arms crossed over the horn of my saddle. She was looking out at the land, a slight glimmer in her baby blues, but my eyes were glued on the only view that caught my attention day in and day out.
The breathtaking landscape didn’t hold a candle to Lettie Bronson.
“I found this little spot when I took Red out for you. Kept him in shape while I cleared my head. After I found it, we eventually just kept coming back. I’d let him take me in any direction, and he always chose here.
It was like if we looked hard enough, we might be able to see you all those miles away. ”
She looked over at me, a softness to her features I’d never seen before.
I spun Nova around and brought him so his face was by Red’s back end. Lettie was right beside me, watching me. Keeping one hand on the reins, I reached over to set my hand on her cheek, pulling her closer to me.
“Even when you were gone, Lettie, we still felt you. You belong in Bell Buckle.”
“I know. I wish I’d never left,” she admitted, her voice small.
My thumb brushed her skin as I asked the one thing I’d been wanting to know ever since she arrived back in town. “Then why’d you leave? Why waste so many years running from what you knew in your heart you wanted?”
She was quiet for a few moments, her eyes darting back and forth between mine.
“I was scared, Bailey.”
“Scared of what?” I asked, dropping my hand from her cheek.
“Of you. Of the possibility of us,” she confessed.
My brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”
She took a deep breath. “I was terrified of falling for you and one of us fucking it up. I didn’t know if I could handle losing you in my life like that, Bailey. So, I prevented it from happening altogether, and I regret it.”
I blinked, shaking my head. “That can’t be all of it.”
“It is. ”
“No, Lettie. It has to be something else, too. You can’t say it was all me. What is it?”
She pulled on Red’s reins, backing him up a few inches and turning him so she was angled slightly away from me.
“What else were you scared of, Lettie?” I asked when she didn’t reply.
Her eyes met mine, regret shining in them.
“Everything, okay? My brothers, my parents, but especially you. At least with them, their care was stifling, drowning me at times. But you? You were so damn sweet to me all the time, Bailey. I was so used to it. If we had crossed that line back then, who knows if you wouldn’t have begun suffocating me, too?
Caring for someone can be the worst kind of addiction.
You can obsess, worry yourself to death. I didn’t want that for you.”
My hands tightened on the reins. “I’ll always worry about you, Lettie. It’s in my blood. But I will never close in on you, control you. I see what it does to you when your brothers do it.”
“Those are just words.”
“Words are all I have! You never gave me the chance to prove it to you. You just ran away instead of facing your fears.” And I couldn’t believe I was one of them. My feelings for her scared her, and that fucking hurt.
I shook my head again. “I don’t want to hear that you were scared when you should’ve been here, safe in my arms. Five years of worrying about you tore me apart, but it didn’t for one second shake the feelings I have for you, and that has to mean something.”
Her eyes glassed over, tears welling in them. “I’m sorry,” was all she said before she flipped Red around and took off down the trail with Rouge right behind her.
I wanted to go after her, but instead, I stayed put. Nova pawed at the ground, feeling the same draw to chase after them. But I kept him in place, forcing air into my lungs. I watched as Lettie, Red, and Rouge walked away, the three most important things in my life disappearing before my eyes.
Lettie wasn’t going to get away so easily this time, but I’d give her the space she needed for now.
Just not five fucking years’ worth. Not again.