#2
Zach was still reeling three hours later as he looked out over the peaceful pasture. It was all green and covered in grass and wildflowers. Beautiful. There were goats and chickens and a number of alpacas, and the weird shaggy cows Lacey gushed about. There were mangy dogs hanging out with kind of mean geese. It was not a place he ever thought to be. Most people thought he was a country boy when he mentioned he grew up in a trailer. Nope. He was urban white trash. Land cost money, and his family never had that, despite all the crimes his parents participated in. Shouldn’t there have been some kind of upside?
A horse wandered by, huffing as he moved. The horse was old and probably slated to be glue when Lacey’s group swooped in and brought him to the farm so he could eat grass and fart and die peacefully.
Zach wished there was a farm for spies.
After the debacle with Devi, he’d gone over the reports concerning the night before. None of them mentioned that Zach had been at the Virginia estate that burned to the ground. Devi’s name hadn’t made the reports, either. According to the reports filed by his former team members, it had been Cooper McKay who saved the day and the team.
Kala Taggart had done pretty much everything she promised him when they met in the Colorado woods, and Cooper finally figured out who he truly was. Instead of arresting him, Kala had listened and told him she would help. Made him promise to come home when he had what he needed.
It was almost surely Kala who sent him the writeups of the fallout from burning down Huisman’s place in Virginia. He sent her a single name.
Raymond White.
His dad. Biological dad. That man hadn’t given a real damn about him except in how he could use his son to manipulate Shannon Reed.
And it looked like nothing had changed with dear old Dad.
Kala would put it together quickly, and he had no doubt she would have Lou on it before they got back to Dallas.
Had he made a terrible mistake? Devi hated him. Hated him. Somehow he hadn’t thought she would hate him. He’d known she was mad. He’d kind of viewed her acting out as a call for him to pay attention to her, but what if this wasn’t about him beyond the fact that he was the bad guy?
He stood outside the pretty cottage he was going to have to share with her for now. He should call her mom, send her home, and pray she followed directions this time.
“Well, Miss Stella is looking perfectly fit, and you are as well, so I think I’ll be heading out. Unless you want me to look at your new…guest.”
Arthur Beddoe was the vet Lacey worked with when it was her turn to watch over what her group calle.
“the farm.”
“She’s not a guest and you know it, doc.”
Arthur was an older man. Probably sixty or so, but he looked younger. He was fit, with neatly cut dark hair and warm brown eyes. He wore cargo pants and a short sleeve button-down, all of which might be normal looking until you got to the socks and Birkenstocks. They were a dead giveaway that this was a man who cared about the environment and probably smoked a little weed in his time. A brow cocked over those kind eyes.
“Are we not playing games, then? Sometimes when Lacey brings…friends…around they like to pretend. I think the last one asked me to call him Mr. Noir and pretended to be an attaché with the French embassy.”
That made Zach chuckle.
“Yeah, I suppose that’s a dig at the Agency, but I understand it. How much do you know and are you former or current?”
Because there was zero way this man wasn’t intelligence or had been.
Arthur studied him for a moment.
“I was SAS in my youth and worked a bit of intelligence, but I’ve been out of the game for a while. Raised my kids. Got back in for them, I suppose, though I changed teams. I’m not involved in any state-sponsored intelligence agency, and I’m strictly logistics and aid now. I’m the one who brought Lacey in. Consider me her mentor, and I pretty much know everything except who the young lass in the big bedroom is. I need to know if she’s going to take us down.”
He would have said no an hour ago. He would have said Devi Taggart would never want revenge.
“I don’t know, but if I get even a hint that she’s going to bring in the authorities, I’ll take her and we won’t bother you or Lacey or the group again.”
“I don’t think that was your plan, Zachary.”
Arthur set his kit down and leaned against the fence posts.
“I thought we were trying to find your mum before Huisman gets to her.”
“I know, but I also know finding my mom is only part of what you and Lacey are trying to do. Lacey has a much larger mission, and she’s been working on it for a long time. If bringing Devi here is going to upend her ultimate goals, then I’ll figure something out. I don’t know what yours is. I know you’re here to help Lacey, but I still haven’t figured you out yet.”
Arthur shifted the Tilley hat on his head, setting it back slightly. He wore a pair of glasses and had a wedding ring on his left hand.
“Believe it or not my mission is to make this world a bit better. I do that by helping people like Lacey and others, and by helping these animals find a home where they aren’t abused. Where they can live a natural life. I believe Lacey would say that your mission is important to our work since Shannon Reed is the only one in the world with the detailed plans on how to build her bombs. We have some intelligence about Huisman buying property in Asia. Nepal, to be exact. There are a lot of rumors as to what he’s built there. I’m worried about what he’s planning, which is why I don’t think this is a good time for you to be working out your personal relationships. Especially when they could bring the world down on us.”
“I’m not calling in the cops,”
a soft voice said, and he turned.
Naturally Devi was standing there, and she seemed to have found a robe and some socks. She looked young and pretty and vulnerable.
He wasn’t good enough for her, and she knew it.
She sniffled slightly and her shoulders went back, chin coming up in a stubborn expression.
“I’m not a snitch, Zach. I might not work in the same world my cousins do, but I understand it.”
Her eyes caught on the animals standing together by the water trough, and she gasped a little.
“Highland cows. That’s what she meant by hillycoos. They’re so cute. Are they like the cat in the closet?”
He was unaware there was a cat, though it didn’t surprise him. The chickens walked around like they owned the place. He found himself standing up straight, fumbling for words.
“The whole place is an animal sanctuary. Lacey works with a group that saves animals from bad situations and takes care of them.”
“The cows were sick and scheduled to be put down because they’re old and the farmer didn’t want to waste money on their healthcare. Our organization paid him to let us take them. They’re doing well now,”
Arthur said.
“Are you talking about the pregnant calico who won’t let anyone touch her?”
When Devi nodded he went on.
“She’s got a week or so before those kittens arrive. I worry she’ll abandon them or not let anyone near.”
“She seems to like the closet in my room. Well, the room I’m in,”
Devi said.
“Do you want me to move her? I can find another place for her,”
Zach offered.
Devi sent him a frown.
“You think I would evict a traumatized pregnant cat from the only place she feels safe?”
And he couldn’t win.
“I was only trying to make you comfortable.”
She stared at him for a moment and seemed to make a decision. She turned to Arthur.
“You in charge of the animals?”
He shook his head.
“Just their healthcare. Lacey does the heavy work when it comes to the farm. Members of the group take turns. She spends six weeks here, and then she’s back to Liverpool or off to wherever Disrupt sends her.”
Not a single look of recognition hit her eyes. So her cousins had really kept her out of it. Disrupt was the main organization that Huisman used as a front for his many schemes to burn down civilization.
“Well, I’m going to require a litter box and some warm blankets and probably some thick gloves because kitty likes to scratch, but she’ll need more room if we’re turning that tiny closet into a feline homestead. And some cat treats. I’m befriending her. Slowly, of course.”
She looked to Zach, a bit of challenge in her eyes.
“I volunteered in shelters most of my life, and I’ve fostered both cats and dogs. She needs patience. She was hurt, and she has to process that pain and figure out if it’s worth it to risk herself again.”
Were they still talking about the cat? He wasn’t sure.
“I don’t believe I’m needed here anymore. As we say here in Wales, tan y tro nesaf.”
Arthur tipped his hat and picked up his bag.
“Tell Lacey I’ll be back to check on Mel and Cass in the morning. Until then, I’ll be in town. Remember what I said. There are more people at risk than you can imagine.”
Arthur walked away, disappearing behind the cottage which led to the dirt road that would lead him from the farm.
Devi stared after him for a moment as though trying to figure out where she’d seen the man before. Or putting off the moment she had to deal with Zach. Yeah, it was probably the latter.
It was afternoon, the soft light playing over her red hair and bringing out the gold in it.
“I’m sorry about your clothes. They’re not dry yet. Lacey has some specific ideas on what appliances do and don’t harm the Earth. She’s picking you up some clothes in town. If you like I can get you a laptop and you can order some things. I’ve got a couple of IDs we could use.”
She turned his way, her lips curving down.
“Because you’re a criminal.”
There it was. That twist of the knife he hadn’t expected from his sweet sub. They hadn’t fought even once while they’d been together. They had harmony between them and a peace he’d never known. Like most things in his life, it had been an illusion.
“I assure you I had them from when I was an operative.”
“But you were lying while you were an operative.”
She wouldn’t allow him to get away with anything.
“I was, but not until later. I went into the Army because I wanted to. As I approached the end of college I realized… I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You don’t want my personal history.”
“I thought I knew your personal history.”
Devi shook her head.
“I thought you went into the Army because you wanted to serve your country. Now I know… Look, none of this matters.”
She was right. It didn’t. He’d fucked up with her, and he wouldn’t be given a second chance.
“I’ll call your mom and she can coordinate how to come get you. I can take you to London and leave you with your uncle’s team there.”
McKay-Taggart had an office in London, though unlike the US office it had an extra name attached. McKay-Taggart and Knight. Of course, he might get his ass arrested if he walked in there with her since there was an Interpol Red Notice out on him.
“My mom will hunt you down,”
Devi vowed.
“I don’t think you should call her. It would be a mistake.”
She thought he was such an asshole.
“I already did. I called her before we left the States.”
Her eyes widened, and she looked an awful lot like her mom.
“Why would you do that?”
“I was never going to let them worry about you. I wasn’t going to not let you talk to them, Dev. I know you think this is some brutal kidnapping where I tie you up and starve you for days.”
Now that was a point.
“Although you might want to because I’m fairly certain the only groceries in this place are vegan. But that’s not being done to torture you. It’s what happens when you work with underground animal rights activists. The point is I promised your mom you would talk to her today. To make sure she knows you’re okay.”
“She’s all right with you taking me?”
There was a slight tremor to her voice that let him know she was emotional.
“She didn’t threaten you?”
Another thing he hadn’t considered. He was fucking this up entirely, but that was what he seemed to do.
“I explained the situation to her, and she believes I’ll do what it takes to protect you. I will, you know.”
She sniffled again and turned away from him, looking back out over the pasture.
“Or I caused enough trouble that she thinks I deserve whatever I get.”
“You didn’t cause anything.”
“Not what your friend said.”
“Lacey? Look, I’m sorry. Lacey can be harsh, especially when she’s worried her mission and her people could be at risk.”
How had it all gone so fucking wrong? He shouldn’t have called Lacey. He definitely shouldn’t have hauled Devi off like some prize of war. He should have remembered that he was alone and there was nothing he could do about it.
“We can go to London in the morning. I need to make some arrangements.”
He would roll the dice and call Kala to see what she could put together. And then he would hope Huisman didn’t realize their connection.
“Arrangements?”
He shrugged.
“It’s not easy to travel when all of the intelligence world is out to get you. And a big portion of the criminal underground. I might have a Red Notice out.”
“Zachary.”
She said his name like an admonition. Like he’d done something terrible to embarrass her.
“It’s what happens when you try to chase down your criminally minded mother,”
he admitted with a long sigh.
“Now I have to deal with the fact that my father is involved somehow and pray they don’t know who my brother is.”
“Your brother?”
He took a long breath. He shouldn’t do this. It was bringing her further in.
“None of this matters. You should stay as far away from my problems as you can. Honestly, the less you know the better for you.”
“Is that your excuse for lying to me? You were trying to protect me?”
She crossed her arms under those pert breasts of hers. They weren’t big. They were gently curved and had pink nipples that tightened into buds he liked to suck on.
“You know it’s considered the worst trope.”
Now he was lost. “Trope?”
“Bri writes romance novels. We’ve read them since we were teens, and guy protecting the fragile girl flower from the horrible truth by lying to her and pushing her away is the worst trope. It’s like a recurrent element. Something that happens in the genre over and over again. Like surprise pregnancies.”
He barely managed to not let his jaw hit the floor.
“What? But we were careful.”
His heart started to race. This changed everything. If Devi was pregnant, there was no mission beyond protecting Devi and his kid. At all costs. Except she’d taken a hit to the head and been fucking drugged, and he was pretty sure that was not a recommended activity for pregnant ladies.
“I need to call Arthur back. He should look at you. I told her not to drug you.”
She stepped in front of him, her hands going to his arms where she held him back.
“I was talking about tropes in romance novels, Zach. I’m not pregnant. We were careful. Are you okay?”
He was shaking slightly, and he wished he could hug her. Instead he steadied himself and stepped back.
“Sorry. I guess I just…”
“Freaked out at the thought of getting me pregnant?”
He shook his head.
“No. That part didn’t bother me. That part would be wonderful even though I know the timing would be hard, but the thought of you and our baby in Huisman’s hands got to me for a moment.”
“Well, I suppose if I was pregnant, you would get your Taggart connection.”
They were back to that. Every time he got a second’s worth of hope it came crashing down, and it irritated him. He knew he was in the wrong, but could she give him a second’s grace? He was tired and hadn’t eaten and his damn side hurt.
“Which am I, Devi? First, I was the horrible asshole who got you pregnant and would leave you high and dry, and now I purposefully got you pregnant so I can join your clan because once your uncle discovers the pregnancy, he’ll drag me to the altar and force me to marry you.”
“Other way around, buddy,”
she shot back.
“No way around, buddy.”
He gave her back her words and couldn’t help the bitterness.
“No one is going to force Devi Taggart to do anything she doesn’t want to do. No one would blink an eye if you told them you were having a baby, and oh hey, it’s that asshole’s, so could you bury him, uncle, so I don’t have to put up with him anymore and I can go find the pure-hearted man of my dreams without that piece of trailer trash in my life?”
“I never said that, Zach.”
“I’m sure you’ll get around to it. Don’t think I haven’t heard it all.”
He needed to breathe. He’d gone from terror to a weird high of having his brother actually work with him, to the revelation that none of this was going to work. There was no tender place for him at the end of this. There was horror and death, and that was likely the happiest of outcomes.
“When Lacey gets back, we’ll call your parents and get you out of here.”
He started to turn.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,”
Devi said quietly.
He was going to miss her, but right now he couldn’t handle more bile. He felt weirdly fragile, and one more nasty word from the one woman he’d ever really loved might break him. He was sure his father would give him a smack and tell him to be a man, but he couldn’t right now, and he sure as fuck wasn’t going to take it out on her.
“Your mom isn’t mad at you. I’m sorry she wasn’t as angry with me as you want her to be, but she’s a pragmatic woman. It would have been difficult for Cooper to get you and Kala out. I made a call. It was the wrong one.”
“I am so fucking angry with you,”
she said, her gaze intense as though she was holding something back.
“I know. I’ll leave you alone.”
“I don’t want you to. I don’t… Zach, I don’t know what I want right now beyond going back and not leaving Landon in that restaurant.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“I could have killed Aunt Eve. I got my cousin kidnapped. I think they did terrible things to her. They wouldn’t have if I hadn’t been stupid and gotten myself caught, and I did it because I was mad at you.”
His heart softened immediately, and he knew this woman was his Achilles’ heel.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apologies.”
“Baby, what do you want? I’ll give it to you.”
“I can’t go home,”
she said with surety.
“If I go home, I put everyone in my orbit in danger. I was foolish and not thinking. I was going to show you. I was going to show everyone that I didn’t matter.”
Every word made him ache.
“You matter. You matter so much.”
“I understand that you have done a good job of taking the focus off Tasha and putting it on me.”
He stilled. It was like she took a knife to him. He couldn’t quite process the words. He knew they were deadly but…she couldn’t think he did that intentionally.
“Zach, you’re bleeding.”
He was. He was bleeding, and he didn’t care. If he bled out, then it would all be over and he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. He’d lived so long in survival mode that the brief time he spent with her had been the best of his life. He had his girl and his brother and a place in a world he loved.
He had none of those things now. Did it matter if he bled out? It would make things easier for everyone he cared about.
“You’re bleeding. Whatever the doctor did you opened it up again.”
He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He put a hand to his side. Sure enough, there was some wetness. The butterflies had likely come apart when he moved the boxes from the front porch inside. Arthur told him not to pick up heavy things, but he didn’t listen because he wanted everything to be in place when Devi woke up.
“Zach,”
she began in that irritated tone that seemed to be the only one she used around him. She reached out and grabbed his arm.
And stopped when she got a good look at him.
Tears slipped from her eyes, and she shook her head.
“That’s not fair.”
He was crying. It was dumb and unmasculine, and he likely never would have if he hadn’t done all the therapy Big Tag required. Therapy had done nothing except teach him how much he longed for another life. Unfortunately, therapy couldn’t change his circumstances.
He thought she would walk away, but she moved in, fingers coming up to caress his cheeks, wiping the tears away.
“Not fair,”
she whispered and then laid her head in the crook of his neck, and he felt a shudder go through her. Then her arms wrapped around him, careful to avoid his injured side.
“I don’t know what to do, Zach. I can’t go back. Not home and not to what we were before, but I also can’t… I can’t stay this mad at you. It’s become everything I am, and I’m hurting people I love because I’m hurt. I’m going to stay hurt if I don’t make things right with you. Be evil. Make it easy on me.”
And just like that he hoped again. Such a dangerous thing to do, but she was in his arms telling him she wanted things to be okay between them. He reached up and stroked her hair, holding her close and ignoring the pain.
“I can’t. I know I should let you go, but I won’t do it by being mean to you. I won’t lie again. I promise. I love you, Devi. I love you so fucking much, my sweetness.”
It made her cry harder.
He held her and for a moment felt like he had a place in the world.