Chapter Ten
Devi walked out toward the barn, curious at the note left on the middle of the bed. It had been sitting there when she returned, folded with her name written in a neat, masculine hand. Lacey had informed her that she was going to be on the secure line for the next hour or so. Something to do with the package she picked up in town.
She was getting way too comfortable with criminal shit going on around her. It felt almost normal. She planned to put on a kettle, grab a couple of biscuits, and watch some telly.
She was becoming so British.
And then she found that note.
Come to the barn if you want to play.
The words had sent a thrill zinging through her body. Her damn nipples had gone rock hard, and she’d known that she wouldn’t be shouting answers at the quiz shows this afternoon.
The rain was down to a light drizzle, and she could see the goats resting under the big poplar tree in the distance. The horses were out in the field along with the super-cute Highland cows, who almost never were more than a couple of feet from each other. Those cows had gone through something, and it seemed to have bonded them.
Like her parents went through something terrible. Her mom had found the courage to have a baby and build a life after she thought her dad was dead.
Zach was alive.
Maybe it was the fact that one of her best friends wrote romance novels, but she was starting to wonder if feeling the loss of Zach later would be better than this numbness she had been living in. Would she be less angry if she had a few weeks with him? Maybe she would realize it never would have worked long term, and he could be the passionate, wild affair of her youth. The one that taught her what she honestly wanted was stability.
The trouble was if one took out the Interpol Red Notice, the whole world wanting to drag him into an interrogation room thing, Zach was stability personified. In a brief time, he’d gotten to know her likes and dislikes and made sure she had the things she wanted. He was on time, always conscientious about her feelings.
Except for the whole lying thing.
She hesitated, standing outside the barn doors.
First because she had to think about what this meant. He used the word play, and she knew what he meant. D/s sex. He was the Dominant and she the submissive. He would treat her like his sub.
Wasn’t that what he was doing already? He took care of her. He made sure she had “wellies”
when it rained, and when she complained about her feet hurting because she spent hours standing while helping Arthur with one of the sheep giving birth, he’d shifted and gotten them in his lap and rubbed them until she sighed. He cuddled her and made sure she was comfy.
If she walked through that door, she was giving him the right to do all of those things. Up until this moment she could fool herself because the permission was implied, not spoken out loud. She wasn’t his sub. She was his… She couldn’t even say prisoner since at least once a day his cohort asked if she wanted to go to the sea. There were no locks meant to keep her in, no cuffs to shackle her.
But there would be if she walked through that door. There would be a contract between them. Oh, it wouldn’t be signed and witnessed and filed in The Hideout’s office, but it would be there.
What made him change his mind?
Why was he in the barn? Like there was a perfectly fine bedroom. That was full of cats.
So the barn it was.
And she wanted to know what he’d been doing in the barn. Her curiosity wouldn’t let her walk away. She had to know.
It didn’t have to mean anything. It didn’t have to touch her soul.
She pushed through the doors and the barn was quiet, the sound of soft rain on the roof the only noise.
“I’m up here,”
he said, and she realized he was on the second floor. She rarely went up there. From what she could tell it was used to store things they didn’t work with every day. It was mostly empty.
Except even from here she could see Zach had made some changes.
He had taken off his shirt. His big chest was on beautiful display, and his jeans hung low on his hips. His hair had grown out since he’d gone on the run. That dark silky hair had started to brush the tops of his ears, and she had the most insane desire to run her hands through it.
She took a deep breath and started up the ladder.
He was waiting to help her, big hand coming out to hold her own.
“What made you change your mind?”
She was pleased with how solid she sounded. Like this was no big deal.
He made sure she was steady on her feet before he backed away.
“A friend gave me some advice. He thinks I might regret never taking this chance with you.”
She wasn’t sure what the word chance had to do with it.
“I told you what I was willing to do weeks ago.”
He nodded.
“Yeah, that’s the chance I’m taking. You were open and honest that this is going to mean nothing. That you need a physical release and I’m handy.”
“You’re not fucking handy, Zach. There is nothing convenient about you or the situation we’re in.”
It was a ridiculous assumption.
“I only meant that I know this isn’t going anywhere, so I’m not opening my heart to you.”
“And I am. And that is what I am risking.”
“You don’t have to. I’m being honest with you.”
His hand came out and he touched her, really touched her for the first time in days. Not a brush of his hand as they passed each other or a caring caress or those moments in the early morning when her brain was fuzzy and she wanted to stay asleep because his arm was over her waist. There was intent in the way he took her chin in hand, forcing her to look up at him. She was tall, but Zach made her feel petite.
He also sometimes made her feel like an idiot, so she should remember that.
“The question is are you being honest with yourself.”
He loomed over her, his big body so close all it took was to reach up to touch his chest. Feel the heat of his body, the softness of skin over hard-earned muscle.
“And if I am?”
She wasn’t going to lie and say she was sure. She wasn’t. She wasn’t sure of anything except the fact that her body was starting to heat up. From the minute she read that note, she’d felt again. Not fear or anxiety. She’d felt the slow hum of her body awakening, the anticipation of getting her needs met. Of letting go for a few hours. Letting Zach take over.
Her body trusted this man implicitly. She wasn’t sure about her heart.
“Then I’ll deal with the consequences, sweetness. I don’t know how much time we have, but I want to spend it with you. Being with you the way we really are.”
A Dom and sub. The man he was and the woman she was.
“Then we start, Sir.”
“Zach.”
His fingers tightened slightly around her chin, and he moved in.
“No Sirs. I want to hear my name. I’m not some random Dom in a club who wants you for a night.”
No, he wanted her for however long they had.
“Then we should start, Zach. Is this our play space?”
He stepped back and gestured around.
“I spent the afternoon renovating. I had to be creative, but the good news is I can be handy. Arthur helped. He’s surprisingly good at building furniture, and we had some supplies I didn’t know we had.”
It wasn’t like a plush sofa or a luxurious chaise lounge, but he and Arthur had created what looked like a spanking bench. She walked over and tested it out—comfortable, it was solid.
“Did Arthur know what he was making?”
She felt like she could breathe again. Making the decision to take this time with Zach was a huge weight off her shoulders and her soul. The key was taking what she wanted and not giving up anything that would hurt.
Or maybe just understanding that this would hurt like hell, but it would be worse if she never had this time at all.
“Arthur, it seems, is in the lifestyle.”
That got her attention. “Arthur?”
Zach shrugged those big, glorious shoulders.
“Hey, they get kinky in Wales, too.”
She still wasn’t going to tell him about her near miss with a potential serial killer—she did not want to be the next Daisy—but she felt like she had to talk about what she’d seen.
“There’s something odd about him. I saw a picture of him today in the pub. It was his name, but it didn’t look like him.”
Zach seemed to think about that for a moment.
“I promise he’s been vetted, and sometimes we don’t look like ourselves in pictures. It’s all about angles and lighting. Lacey says he’s solid, and he’s been helpful. Also, it’s a small community. I think they would notice if their vet got switched out.”
He was probably right and she was looking for conspiracies that didn’t exist. Which she shouldn’t do because there were so very many real ones. She didn’t need to make them up.
She also didn’t need to procrastinate. It was obvious Zach had been working hard all afternoon while she was gone. He had set up a whole play space, including a cot that would be hard for the both of them to fit on. Unless they cuddled close. He had a table with carefully placed toys laid out. There was a crop and lube and… Yup, that was a plug. A too big but really probably wasn’t too big plug. There were a couple of different styles of clamps. He had promised to dress her up the next time they played at The Hideout. He had gone to Canada before the weekend, so they hadn’t had a second weekend at the club.
How could she have fallen so hard in so few days?
“Take off your clothes, Devi.”
Zach stood back.
She was right. It hadn’t been long. This might be exactly what she needed. Time with him could prove it never would have worked, and then this whole thing could be a hot, fever fantasy, a time she spent with an on-the-run, wanted-by-several-countries Dom. It wouldn’t hurt her whole heart if she figured out living with him wasn’t something she wanted to do for the rest of her life.
Because living with him these last few weeks hadn’t been awful, and he hadn’t even been fucking her.
Yeah, she knew she was being a little delusional. She was comfortable with him. She was starting to wonder if she needed to live in Manhattan or LA or London to have the career she wanted. What if the career she wanted was to be happy doing her own thing? Building her own business, even if it meant working at her uncle’s restaurant while she did it.
Being with Zach made her happy. Content. With herself. That was the part that killed her. Being with Zach made all those voices that normally screamed in her head quiet down, and she could hear herself for the first time in forever.
“Devi?”
She sniffled, trying not to get too emotional.
“This isn’t going to be casual.”
His head shook.
“Not for me. You will never be casual for me, Devi. It’s why I stayed away these weeks. I don’t want to hurt you, but I also… I don’t want to go the rest of my life without touching you again, without making as many memories as I can.”
He always knew what to say. The problem was she wasn’t certain who was talking to her—the man or the operative.
Tonight, it didn’t matter.
Devi frowned, realizing what she was wearing.
“I should have… Zach, I’m sorry. It’s a farm. As a proper submissive, I think there’s an unwritten rule that you should never present yourself to your Dom while wearing Crocs, but it was these or Wellies.”
He stopped for a moment, and then the most brilliant smile crossed his face and he laughed. He reached out a hand and grasped hers.
“Come here, brat. I’ve missed you.”
He kissed her, his hands steady on her waist while his lips moved over hers. He took his time, exploring her mouth, sliding his tongue along hers, drugging her with his nearness.
Oh, how she’d missed him. These weeks had been filled with quiet revelations, but none so big as the fact that she was in love with Zachary Reed.
But love didn’t have to last forever. Love could come and go.
Or this could be the love of her whole damn life. She’d once asked her mom if she would have taken back the heartache of losing her dad.
Not even if he had never come home to me. Loving your dad made me a better person. No matter how it ended.
When she stepped away, she kicked off the aforementioned Crocs and pulled the jumper over her head. She was calling it a jumper now instead of a sweater. Like this time and place were so different from reality it had its own language.
This was their space. Their time. It wouldn’t last long, but she was going to let herself revel in it until she had to give him up again. Until she had to watch him meet fate.
She wriggled out of her jeans and then did away with her cotton bra and panties. She normally had gorgeous fet wear and lingerie she made for herself, but it felt right to be in her own skin with this man. To feel primal and stripped down to her rawest self. A piece of her no one would ever witness. Only Zach.
She moved in and put her hands on his chest, memorizing the scars there. The long one that ran from under his right shoulder blade almost to his pec.
“Bulgaria. Knife fight over a piece of intel we were supposed to bring back,”
he said quietly.
“What was the intel?”
she asked.
“I don’t know, sweetness. That’s part of the job. It was supposed to be a dead drop, but someone was watching,”
he admitted.
She found the round one on the other side of his chest.
“That’s a bullet wound.”
He nodded.
“Yep. Happened in Australia. And the one on my bicep was from getting caught under a shit ton of building when your cousin cut the wrong wire on a bomb. Took them hours to dig me out.”
“And this one?”
She touched the one on his cheek.
“Fell off my bike when I was twelve,”
he replied.
“Probably needed stitches, but my aunt was a former soldier so she butterflied me up and we kept going.”
So much of his life had been dangerous. Even his childhood, since every moment was about survival. About trying to outrun the past.
“Give me your hands, Devi,”
he commanded softly.
“I want to play. I want to be in control for a little while. I want to know I’m taking care of someone rather than wrecking lives.”
He needed this as much as she did. Needed her. It was enough for now. She held out her wrists.
“I would like to play as well, Zach. Can we… You know the kidnapping thing is kind of hot when you think about it. In the right circumstances. It used to be a fantasy of mine, but then someone actually kidnapped me and it ruined it.”
“You were kidnapped twice, sweetness. Twice.”
Three times, but one of them was him so she was pretty sure he didn’t think that counted. She wanted it to. In the sexiest way.
“Please, Zach. Can’t you make kidnapping hot like it was before?”
His lips curled up.
“You want to role-play. Yeah, I can do that. How hot do you want it?”
“Singe me. Make me feel it. I want to be warm all the way until tomorrow,”
she admitted.
His whole demeanor changed, and he seemed to grow a freaking foot.
“Devon Taggart. Do you know why I brought you here?”
Oh, her damn pussy responded to that. They could have been doing this for weeks.
“You took me from my parents’ home. No, I don’t know why you took me. It was a mistake, but you can take me back. I’m sure my father would simply be happy to see me again.”
He chuckled, a deeply satisfied sound. He grabbed the jute off the table and expertly wound it around her wrists, making her feel it, but not so much it would bite into her skin.
“There was no mistake, sweetness, and we both know your father isn’t the problem. However, I’ll handle your mother. You’re here to serve me. Would you like to know how?”
She knew and her nipples were so tight it was almost painful. Like she might be able to use them as weapons. Huh, she wondered if her cousins ever did.
“Devi,”
Zach said sharply.
“Yes.”
She could get distracted. She liked that she had a Master who would bring her back to him. Make her focus on the game they were playing.
“I suspect you’re going to want me to clean for you. You know there are maids. You could call one up.”
He growled and moved into her space, gripping her chin and using more force than he had before.
“Ty ne uborshchitsa, dorogaya.”
Her heart rate ticked up. Damn. She would never forget that moment when he’d turned to her and told her they could have a secret language. One Lacey wouldn’t understand. One only for them. Her aunt had deep ties to family in Russia. Mob ties. He’d told her she was obviously not a cleaner in low, sexy Russian.
“Are you from a rival syndicate and you decided to make me pay for the war that’s raged between our families with my sweet ass?”
He snorted.
“You’ve spent too much time with Brianna. And yes, sweetness. Your family has disrespected mine for the last time. Now you’re going to be a very good girl and spread your legs and take my cock. After I’ve bred you, your parents will know how this is going to go from…”
She winced.
He nodded.
“Yeah, I’m going to leave your parents out of it. Let’s go with your cousin. Kala’s the leader of the rival syndicate. I’m going to show her who the real boss is by taking her precious cousin to my bed.”
He knew her well. It was way better to not bring her parents in. She thrust her breasts out, shoulders squaring in a prideful pose.
“My cousin will kill you for this.”
His jaw tightened, and he gripped her hair.
“Then I should enjoy you while I can. But first let me give you a taste of what happens when you defy me.”
Before she could take another breath, he dropped her hair and had her in a fireman’s hold. He moved her over to the spanking bench he cobbled together. It was surprisingly comfortable. Like it had been made by a man who knew how to take care of a sub. It was as comfy as one could get with one’s ass prominently in the air.
And then it wasn’t so comfy because his hand came down on her ass. Hard.
“You will obey me. You will not step out of line, and you will not run. There is nowhere for you to run that I can’t find you.”
His hand came down again.
Sweet pain. She knew the difference. Knew this was all play, and she could stop him at any time. Knew if he thought he was hurting her he would want to die. Which is why it was okay. Deep down she even knew this was her way of processing some of what had happened. But mostly it was a way to connect to him. To show him she did trust him without having to say it out loud. No. Out loud she could be the brat she felt like.
“I assure you, Zachary, that I will get away and I’ll come back and show you what warfare is.”
He moved in front of her. She still had to rotate slightly to see him. Her head was below his waist, so she was treated to the sight of his cock pressed against those jeans he wore. He had the crop in his hands. He slapped it against his open palm.
“Then the lines are drawn, and we have to see where we come out when the explosion is over.”
She couldn’t even hold onto the padded bench she was draped over. He’d ensured her tied hands were secured around the bench, but that was her only stability. When he brought the crop down, she bit her bottom lip and rode out the flurry of strikes that went from the fleshy part of her ass down to her upper thighs. Fire lashed across her skin and seemed to run like lightning to her pussy, getting her wet and ready for that cock he was going to give her.
“I can promise you, Devi, you won’t be able to keep me out. As long as you’re here, you’re mine.”
He ran a hand over her ass, skimming the places he’d struck.
“Mine to discipline and fuck. You’re my fuck toy, Devi Taggart, and I won’t let you forget it. Open your legs.”
This was all part of the game. He’d placed her face down on the bench, but there were two appendages where her legs could go, where he could tie them down, leaving her pussy and ass utterly vulnerable. Tears were pooling in her eyes, but it felt so good to…feel. She didn’t want it to stop. This could be their refuge where they played and shut the world out.
So she played. She closed her legs, wanting to pretend for a while.
The crop came down again. And again. And again. He dropped to his knees in front of her, giving her a glimpse of steely eyes and a willful expression.
“Devi, if you don’t spread those legs for me, I’ll ensure that I lube that plug up with something that you will feel for hours. Days, even. Have you ever had your asshole burn?”
Evil man.
“Have you?”
“Have you met Gabriel Lodge? Take a Dom training class,”
he shot back.
“I assure you we all know, and that’s why I’m telling you it is in your own best interest to spread those legs and give me access to your asshole. If you think it will bother me to hear you cry for the rest of the night, it won’t. I’ll like it. You’re fucking gorgeous when you cry. I’ll give you a hint. Don’t clench too hard.”
Or she could go along with him. Yup. That was play, too. She shifted her legs open, letting them move down to the padded benches.
His smirk was more than slightly evil.
“Excellent, but you should remember that in the future. I might not warn you again.”
She wished that didn’t send a thrill through her. They talked about anal play when they discussed hard and soft limits, but most of their time had been fairly vanilla sex.
This was more. This woke her up and made her long.
“I understand, Zach.”
She gave him her most breathless tone. It wasn’t hard since she was kind of wildly anticipating what came next.
She gasped when it was his hands moving her down. The rope around her wrists caught on something under the bench. He’d built a peg into the bench to catch whatever fastening he put her in. It held her in place as he moved her torso down the bench until her ass was just off it.
His hand moved under her, fingers finding her pussy and sliding through the evidence of her arousal.
“That’s what I want. I heard you were a sexual goddess, Devon. This…this is fucking ambrosia.”
She heard him groan and could picture him sucking his fingers into his mouth. It was something he loved to do. He would finger fuck her, get her hot and bothered and on the edge, and then he would carefully lick his fingers clean, like he couldn’t stand the thought of missing a single drop.
“You be still and I’ll let you have this while I play with your ass,”
he said from behind her. She could hear him moving, likely going to the table so he could grab whatever instrument of torture he intended to use next.
“If you move and lose it, it’s gone, and there will be punishment. Lift up for me.”
She did as he asked and felt him slip something under her, something slightly squishy. It was odd and then it buzzed right on her clit, and her eyes nearly crossed.
Vibrator. One of the tiny ones. Small but damn mighty. The hum softened, and she realized he had a remote. Damn, him. He was going to kill her. She had to be still. So still.
The hum increased. Barely enough to make her desperate for more. That was when she felt him part the cheeks of her backside and dribble the absolutely not-exotic lube on.
“I’m going to have you,”
he declared.
“In every way a man can have a woman, I will have you.”
It took real willpower to stay still while she felt him rub the lube in, big finger rimming her before easing inside. It was so much. She could barely breathe, but then the vibe started really vibing, and she wasn’t thinking about anything but the orgasm she was on the cusp of.
She was almost certain she heard the donkey huff, but that wasn’t so surprising. She let it go, concentrating on him.
Over and over he fucked her with his finger, easing in and pulling out until he replaced warm flesh with the plug, sliding it in.
The vibe reached a crescendo, and she couldn’t hold back a second longer. She gritted her teeth because The Fabulous Miss K was downstairs, and she could be sensitive to weird sounds. No idea what happened to that donkey.
The orgasm made her body buck, losing the vibe, but she clenched on the plug. She wasn’t losing that sucker.
Her whole body felt alive and vibrant.
And she knew he wasn’t done. Not even close.