Chapter 4 #2
To confirm, I think. Because he gave me the benefit of the doubt, but when I didn’t pick up and when the friend that I’d used as an alibi told him that she never saw me after school ended yesterday, he got pissed.
I’m guessing Conrad came along to calm Ledger down and to rein in the situation if it got out of hand. He’s been a witness to many such situations over the years he’s been coaching the two.
And when my other two brothers, who were trying to surprise us with a weekend visit, found out where I was, they came along in case Ledger needed reinforcements.
At least that’s what I’m guessing from past experiences – Ledger is the youngest brother and like they are with me, our older brothers are protective of him as well. Not that they’d tell him or that Ledger would like that since he’s all grown up and everything but still.
Anyway, they never told me why or what except how they found out where I was.
They never told me anything actually.
Last night when I tried to say something as soon as we reached home, they didn’t let me either.
Con told me to go get some sleep and the rest of them just dispersed without having a conversation with me.
Now it’s morning and they’re still not talking.
Con is shut up in his study and we all know not to disturb him when he’s working. One of the ground rules he set up for us when he quit college to come back and take over everything.
The rest of my brothers, I have no idea about.
They’re not home.
So I’m upstairs in my room, trying to get my homework done before my ballet class in the afternoon.
But ugh, I can’t focus.
They won’t even let me apologize to them. They won’t even talk to me. They won’t even…
There’s a knock on the door and I sit up straight; I’ve been lounging around in my bed with my books spread out in front of me, but now I close them, cross my legs and call out, “Yeah?”
The door opens and I see Con.
He’s got a slight frown on his forehead as he says, sort of roughly, “Hey.”
“Hey,” I say eagerly.
“You got a second?”
“Yes. Yes, absolutely.”
I say this with even more eagerness and my oldest brother, who is so freaking tall that he has to slightly hunch his shoulders to get inside my room, enters.
Without volition, my mind goes to him.
My mind goes to the fact that he’s just as tall, isn’t he?
Would he also have to hunch his mountain-like shoulders to get inside my childhood bedroom?
God, Callie. Not now.
I’m all ready to beat my stupid thoughts into submission but I don’t have to. They vanish on their own because as soon as Con enters and moves away from the doorway, I see the rest of my brothers.
They were hovering behind him and one by one, they enter too.
First Stellan, who almost has to hunch but not quite. Then Shepard, who enters with a slight grimace on his face because he thinks my room is too pink for his manliness, and finally, the brother who’s closest to me in age and hence has always been my best buddy, Ledger.
It takes them a few seconds to situate themselves around my room and from experience I already know where they’re all going to end up before they do.
Ledger leans against my desk, which is located by the white door. Shepard, the noisiest one, drags my desk chair out, spins it around and sits on it backwards with his arms on the backrest.
Stellan goes to stand by my window on the far side of the room. And the reason he does that is because Con is going to sit on the armchair right beside it, which he does a second later, and Stellan is Con’s right hand.
Maybe because Stellan is the second oldest – three minutes older than his twin Shepard – and so Con has always trusted him the most. Even though Stellan and Shepard are eight years younger than Con.
When they’re all situated and are still not talking, I open my mouth to apologize but I notice Shep elbowing Ledger and as if waking up, Ledger mutters, “Right.”
He brings something out from behind him and offers it to me.
It’s a giant baby pink box with satin pink ribbon wrapped around it and despite everything, my arms shoot up to grab it.
On the top in a darker shade of pink, is written Buttery Blossoms.
It’s my favorite, favorite bakery in town and they have the best cupcakes ever.
In fact, I even have a picture of it, my most favorite cupcake from there – Peanut Butter Blossom –-taped up on my wall.
I have pictures of all my favorite things taped up on my wall actually. My ballet recitals, my pointe shoes, Bardstown High.
Excitedly, I look at Ledger and then all my brothers. “You guys bought me cupcakes?”
Ledger shrugs. “Yeah.”
Shep shrugs too. “They’re your favorite.”
“And you don’t get to have them enough, so,” Ledger adds.
That’s true, I don’t.
Mostly because I’m a ballerina and I have to watch my weight. Healthy living and healthy eating and all that but oh my God, I have a giant addiction to these.
It’s toxic but I don’t care.
I hug the box, my heart feeling full. “Is that where you guys went this morning? Because I was looking for all of you.”
Shep is first to reply with his hands in the air. “I will not set foot in that pink shop. Under any circumstances, so no. I went to see a friend.”
Before I can reply, Ledger rolls his eyes. “By that, he means Amy.”
My eyes pop wide. “You guys are back together again?”
Amy is Shep’s on-again off-again girlfriend from high school and I really, really like her. She loves dancing and knitting just like me and I would love to see them end up together.
But Shep is an idiot and he broke up with her when he left for college three years ago.
I always feel bad when I see her around town; she’s still so in love with him.
“Fuck no,” Shep says.
“Why not? She’s amazing, Shep. I really like her.”
“Never said I don’t like her.” He smirks then. “I like her. I like her a lot.”
“Yeah, her and that hot tub in her backyard.” Ledger snickers.
Shep’s smirk only grows. “Oh yeah, definitely. It’s got jet sprays, dude. You can’t compete with that. That hot tub can do things you can’t even fathom, little brother.”
“Oh, I can fathom. I can fathom a lot.” Ledger playfully kicks at the legs of the chair Shep is sitting in. “In fact, I fathomed it last week with her little sister, Jessica.”
Shep turns to Ledger then. “For real? You and –”
But before he can go on, I squeal, “Ew, gross. Both of you.”
While at the same time, Stellan speaks up. “Enough. All right? You can exchange your glorious war stories later.”
Ugh.
They’re such players.
Sometimes I think that’s why they hate Reed so much. Because they know he’s exactly like them.
Ledger and Shep shut up and before anyone can say anything else and sidetrack the conversation again, I ask, “Why are you guys bringing me cupcakes?”
Ledger side-eyes Stellan and Con. “Because you’re our sister.”
Getting serious, Shepard nods. “And we love you.”
“We also respect you,” Ledger says.
“And your choices.” Shep goes next.
“Also your independence,” Ledger adds, making me think that they’ve memorized their lines.
Shepard proves me right in the next second. “Yeah, we respect that too.” Then frowning, he tilts his head toward Stellan. “Wait, is that what it is? We respect her independence.” Looking at me, he explains, “Stella here said something this morning that totally went over my hungover head.”
Ledger snickers again at Stella, I’m sure.
It’s my fault really.
When I was a kid, I couldn’t say Stellan so I’d call him Stella and, well, it caught on. And now every time Shep wants to annoy Stellan, he calls him Stella.
I glance at Stellan apologetically, who’s watching Shep with a flat look. “You like your face, don’t you?”
Shepard chuckles because they’re identical twins. “Not on you though.”
“Yeah, keep talking and I’ll rearrange it for you.” He glances at Ledger who’s still snickering. “Yours too.”
When the most mischievous of my brothers, Shep and Ledger, go quiet again – not happily though – Stellan speaks up, looking at me.
“Look, what these morons are trying to say is that we acted like giant asses last night. We shouldn’t have barged in, like an army or something.
But you scared us, all right? It’s not like you to lie and we thought something happened to you. We thought –”
Ledger bursts out then, as if he’s been holding it all on the inside. “We thought he did something, okay? We thought you needed our help.” He shakes his head angrily. “You needed us to rescue you from him and…” He goes quiet for a second before saying, “You need to be careful.”
“I know and I am. And –"
“No, it’s… you need to be really careful. Really.”
“O-kay,” I say, frowning at Ledger’s grave tone. “I am.”
“You don’t get it.” He sighs sharply. “The thing is… fuck it. The thing is that he’s attractive. Good looking, handsome, whatever. Not more than me, but still.”
“What?” I’m so confused.
Shepard snorts.
Stellan’s lips twitch as well.
“Yeah, and also the thing is, Calls, that our little brother wants to say that he’s got a big boy crush on him,” Shep adds with raised eyebrows.
Stellan chuckles as Ledger swats Shep’s head. “Fuck you, dude. I’m trying to explain something.”
“No need. We get it,” Shepard says, hitting Ledger in the stomach with his elbow.
“The point I’m trying to make is, he takes advantage of that,” Ledger continues loudly, rubbing his stomach.
“Of his looks. Girls become stupid when it comes to him and he uses their stupidity against them. And you’re my sister.
He’s bound to mess with you. Because he’s smart enough to know that I’m going to win this season.
Like last season. So you need to stay away from him, Callie. He’s a fucking asshole, all right?”
I bite my lip as I finally get my window to apologize. “I know and I’m sorry. I don’t want to ruin your game and –”
“This is not about the soccer rivalry.”
That’s Conrad’s voice.
He’s been sitting in his spot, all quiet so far, letting the rest of them talk and joke around.
But I guess his patience is running thin now, because he pins Shep and Ledger with a hard gaze before turning to me and leaning forward, putting his elbows on his thighs.
“I can tolerate a lot. I have tolerated a lot over the years. Rebellions, phases, tantrums. But I will not tolerate lies that involve your safety.”
He pauses for his words to take effect, and they do.
Because he has.
Tolerated, I mean. A lot.
Obviously from Shepard and Ledger, who are the more rebellious of the bunch.
All the times Shepard was suspended from school for playing a prank or making out with girls in the school closets.
All the times Ledger got into trouble with his anger.
Even Stellan has had his moments, not as frequent or severe as the other two, but still.
And then there’s me.
I’m a girl.
A whole different species for my brothers to understand, but they’ve done their best.
Especially Conrad.
All the times I cried because of ballet and how I wasn’t good enough.
How even though I love ballet, it didn’t leave me enough time to make friends and so I was always excluded from fun sleepovers and tea parties.
So all my brothers would entertain me at home, play with me, drink imaginary tea with me.
Not to mention all the things a girl goes through.
That Conrad never even thought about before but had to because we had no one else to turn to.
Tampons and bras and hormones and serious talks about puberty and sex.
So he has tolerated a lot.
And I hate that I lied to him.
“We might have come down on you harder than we thought,” he continues, his serious dark blue gaze on me. “But it was because we were worried. As Stellan said, it’s not like you to lie and I’d like to think that I’ve given you enough freedom that you don’t have to lie.”
“I know, Con,” I say, contrite. “You have. I was scared that you’d be mad if I told you I was going to his party and –”
“Fuck yeah, we would be,” Ledger cuts me off.
Con glances at him. “Ledge.”
Ledger quiets down then and Con turns back to me. “The reason we don’t want you to go to his party or anywhere near him is not because of some useless, unnecessary soccer rivalry. It’s not about a game. It’s because Reed Jackson is a punk.”
Con’s jaw clenches and tics for a few seconds as if he can’t even bear to talk about Reed. He can’t even bear to say his name in front of me.
“He’s a rich punk who only cares about himself.
I know him and I know guys like him. Guys like him are selfish, untrustworthy, and reckless.
Guys like him don’t care about rules or people.
They only care about themselves. Guys like him can’t handle responsibilities.
They leave without so much as a glance back at what they’re leaving behind. ”
I don’t know why, but it feels like Con is speaking from experience, but before I can ask him, he goes on, “So the reason we want you to stay away from him is because he’s not good for you.
He’s not worthy of you. He doesn’t deserve you.
Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Callie?
He’s not the guy for you. You need to stay away from him because you deserve better and because you’re smart.
You’re smarter than the rest of the girls who fall victim to him. ”