Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Something bad is going to happen. On the field, I mean.
I don’t know how I know it but I do.
It’s a feeling that’s been plaguing me ever since last night and somehow has been exacerbated since the championship game started.
So I finally figured out how to attend the game and my own show.
I got to the auditorium way earlier than they asked us to and got ready for my dance before I ran all the way across the school – because my auditorium and his soccer field are on opposite sides of campus from each other – to attend the game with Tempest.
But anyway, here I am, decked out in an ice blue tutu and a white leotard and full-on make-up to look like a fairy, watching the game that’s about to be done in like, ten minutes.
Our team only needs one more goal in order to win and things are looking good. Oh, and if Reed makes this goal, then he’ll not only win the championship but also their contest.
Once and for all.
He’s in the lead right now and he needs this last goal to seal his victory over my brother.
But I feel like something bad is going to happen.
If I’m being honest though, there’s no reason for me to be feeling like this.
No reason at all. Everything is fine actually.
Everything is more than fine.
Because he kissed me. Last night.
He kissed me for a long, long time.
For a little while there I thought he’d never stop.
I thought I’d never stop.
Because when his mouth was on me, drugging me with his warm, wet kisses, I realized that I’d wanted this for so long.
I’d wanted this every time he looked at me and every time he said something dirty and made me blush.
I’d wanted this every time he brought me cupcakes and gave me a ride in his Mustang.
So yeah, for a little while there, he became my entire world.
Reed Roman Jackson and his mouth and his Mustang with foggy windows.
His Mustang in which I came.
Well, I came on his lap. Twice.
Because he wasn’t happy with just once and wouldn’t stop kissing me or rocking me in his lap. And like the ballerina I am, I danced and writhed as much as he wanted me to.
After two though, I told him to stop, as he predicted days and days ago, and for which I’d practiced like a good girl.
But instead of reminding me that all my practice failed, his gray eyes simply turned all soft and liquid and he kissed me on my sweaty forehead, making me burrow into his chest.
God.
I never ever imagined that he could be so… tender and sweet and just everything.
Anyway, after that I gave him his present.
The one I had in my backpack.
It’s something that I’ve been working on for the past several weeks.
A sweater.
“Because you’re always cold,” I told him, because he always is.
That’s why he wears his hoodies practically all the time.
“And because white’s your favorite color, and look.” I pointed to the black intarsia that I’d done on the front. “It’s a mustang. An actual mustang, not the car. Oh and it was my very first intarsia project. It came out nice, right?”
I’d seen the pattern in a knitting book months ago – before I really knew him – and it’d reminded me of him.
So when I decided to knit for him, I went and dug the magazine up and well, I stabbed myself in the fingers with the needles a million times before I got the design right.
Reed didn’t say anything. Not for a long time as he stared down at the sweater I made for him and I had to ask, “You don’t like it?” I started pulling it away from his grip, which was surprisingly tight. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna make you another one and –”
“I like it,” he said in a hoarse whisper, speaking over me.
And then he pulled me to him and pressed his mouth on my forehead.
He didn’t kiss me there again though, no.
He just… breathed with an open mouth for a few moments like he couldn’t get enough air and I let him.
That was all.
That was all that happened last night.
We kissed, he made me come, I gave him his present and then he drove me back to school just in time for Con to pick me up from the parking lot.
I haven’t seen him since.
Which is understandable given the fact that his big game is currently underway, and I’ve been busy with my own practice for the show.
Maybe that’s why I’m feeling uneasy.
Because of the championship game.
Because I know how important it is to him and to Ledger. Oh, and it’s also the last game of their high school career.
Not to mention their last game together.
It should make me happy that they won’t butt heads anymore — they’re both going to different colleges on soccer scholarships — and this contest, no matter who wins, will finally be over.
But strangely I’m uneasy.
Ledger’s in possession of the ball and he’s running across the field with it. Just when he reaches a point where he can take a shot and score the goal, the winning goal no less, Reed barges in.
He swipes the ball from Ledger and there ensues a struggle between the two star players of Bardstown High.
They both grapple for the ball, trying to score the goal, somehow dodging the players from the opposite team as well.
Not that I had any doubts that they wouldn’t be able to.
Together, the Mustang and the Thorn can defeat every single team in the state and they have. They’re that talented.
I’m not afraid that they’ll lose the ball.
I’m afraid about something else.
Something that happens right in front of my eyes.
While struggling to get the ball, they’re both pushing at each other.
Until Ledger stops.
He comes to a dead halt because Reed has said something.
I see his lips move – the lips that I kissed last night in the rain and then in his Mustang, the lips that have made me smile and blush over the past months – and I see Ledger freezing over.
To the point where Reed finally steals the ball from my brother and scores the goal.
Sealing both the championship and his victory over my brother.
As the whole stadium erupts in cheers and laughter and happiness, I sit in my spot tense and shocked, afraid.
So afraid.
My eyes are glued to two of the most important people in my life.
He is that, isn’t he?
Somehow Reed Roman Jackson, my Roman, has become one of the most important people in my life and I don’t want to keep him a secret.
This is another thing that I’ve been feeling ever since last night.
Along with this premonition, I’ve been wanting to tell my brothers about him. Make them understand that he’s not as bad as they all think he is.
But like yesterday at practice when they fought, Reed is in no mood to be good.
Even though he’s gotten the thing that he wanted, the title of reigning champion, his mood is so black and so bitter that even I can feel it from here.
Even I can feel his fury.
And the only thing that matches Reed’s fury and his agitated breaths as he glares at my brother while the Mustang camp of the team pats him on the back, is Ledger.
He matches Reed’s black mood.
In fact, he’s surpassed it.
And it’s nothing new, see.
Reed has always been the one to provoke my brother and my brother has always been the one to give in to it.
So this scene shouldn’t be too alarming, but it is for so many reasons, and when Ledger closes the distance between them, I can’t sit still.
And neither can Tempest, who’s also been glued to her spot through all the happiness and enthusiasm around us. Together, we manage to grapple through the thick, happy crowd and bound down the stairs to get to the front.
So we can see what’s happening.
So we can see if our brothers are okay.
God, please let them be okay.
Please.
I’m chanting it in my head all through the journey that should’ve only been a few seconds but takes an age due to the excited and exiting crowd.
When we do reach our destination, I exhale a relieved breath.
But it only lasts for a few seconds.
Because the moment we get to the front and have a clear view of the field, somehow, someway, he sees me.
His eyes fall on me through the incoming crowd, through all the chaos, and I don’t know what I see in the depths of them.
I don’t understand the intense emotion reflected in them and it scares me even more.
It scares me that as he runs his eyes over my body it feels like the last time. Like he’ll never see me again after this.
Like this is goodbye.
Before I can do anything about it, jump the fence and run to him or something like that, my brother turns to look at me too.
And as soon as his eyes fall on me, that dark brown that I’ve known for as long as I’ve lived and that has never ever looked at me with anything less than affection even when we’ve fought, I take a step back.
My knees tremble.
There’s such hatred in them.
Such thick and pervasive betrayal that I don’t know how to breathe.
I don’t know how to live on to the next moment, and then he turns back around and before I can even blink, he punches Reed in the face.
That punch is all it takes.
It makes the already wild crowd go wilder and crazier and a riot breaks out.
On the field, in the bleachers and like yesterday at practice, everyone is on everyone. Only this is much, much bigger in scale and much more horrifying.
So much so that I think I’ll get crushed under it.
Under the mad crowd and the insanity.
Somehow I don’t though because Tempest grabs my hand and pulls me away. She drags me through the crowd, dodging people and keeping a firm grip on my hand.
I’m thankful for it.
Because if it wasn’t for her, I’d be on the ground. My legs wouldn’t hold me under the weight of my brother’s gaze.
Under the weight of his gaze too.
The guy I’m in love with.
I’m in love with him, aren’t I?
I love Reed and God, I don’t know what just happened and I…
Finally, I can breathe because we’re out at the entrance now. It’s not as if the crowd has thinned out but the space is more open and air is easier to get.
I see security flooding onto the field, where the fight is still going on.
I can’t see Ledger or Reed and I turn to Tempest, with a pounding heart. “I need to go find them.”
“Wait, what about your show?” she asks, still holding on to my arm.
Oh.
My show.
That’s about to start in less than ten minutes and they must be wondering where I went.
“I don’t… I need to find out what happened. I need to… I need to go.”
I let go of her hand and enter the field.
I start running toward the huddle, which is slowly getting controlled by security and teachers and coaches.
But I don’t make it too far because I see someone I recognize.
Conrad.
My oldest brother.
He’s somehow emerged from the huddle and is now marching toward me.
In fact, he’s almost here and he looks furious. I’m used to him looking all intimidating and large but when he wears a suit with a tie — which he only does for championship games — he appears even scarier.
But I can’t let that deter me.
I need to know what happened. What Reed said and why Ledger looked at me like he hated me.
When Con reaches me, I immediately break out with my questions. “What happened? I…” I glance to the crowd. “Is Ledger okay? Is… What happened, Con?”
My oldest brother grinds his jaw as he looks down at me, and even though his navy blue eyes don’t hold the same hatred, my heart shrivels even more.
“Con, what happened? Please tell me. I –”
My brother grabs my arm then and starts dragging me away from the commotion.
I look back but still can’t see Ledger or Reed or get any indication if they’re going to be okay.
“What are you doing?” I ask my brother as I turn back around. “What… Con.”
He comes to a halt in a relatively quiet and isolated spot along the bleachers, his face all tight and bunched. “You’ve been lying to us. You’ve been lying to Ledger.”
“What?”
He stares at me for a beat before shaking his head.
“All this time, we trusted you. I trusted you. I gave you everything you asked for. Every freedom, every comfort. And you’ve been lying.
All those late practice hours.” He shakes his head again.
“I thought you were smarter than this, Callie. I thought my sister was…”
His jaw tics as he plows his hand through his hair and I watch him, watch my brother’s face, drenched in disappointment.
I watch his face tighten with anger and betrayal.
Betrayal that I caused. That he somehow found out about.
God, he found out about it.
He somehow knows.
And with trembling lips, I have to ask, “How did you…”
“The boy you were lying for all this time, he was bragging about you on the field.”
I’ll brag about how pretty their sister looked the next day…
That’s why Ledger looked so betrayed, didn’t he?
That’s why there was so much hatred in his eyes when he looked at me.
No, no, no.
He wouldn’t do that. He promised me.
He promised.
He wouldn’t break his promise like this.
He wouldn’t.
I somehow pull myself together and say, “There has to be a reason. There has to be an explanation.”
“Explanation.”
I flinch at Con’s angry voice but still, I grab his arm and plead with him, “Con, he’s not like that.
He’s not. I know you hate him. I know Ledger hates him too but he’s not all bad.
He’s not. You don’t know him like I do. You don’t…
” I gather my scattered breaths again. “I was going to tell you, I promise. I was. I just… I’m sorry that I lied.
I’m so sorry. But Con, there has to be an explanation for this. If I could just –”
“Enough,” he snaps, making me shut my mouth and let go of his arm. Then he pulls in a deep breath, as if to calm himself. “We’ll talk about this later, you understand? Go back to your show right now. You’ve got a show, remember?”
“I don’t care about the show, Con. I need to see if Ledger’s okay and I need to talk –”
“All you need to do is go back to the show. You need to go dance and we’ll talk about this later, got it?” he orders. “Straight to your show, Callie. You’re done wasting your time on him.”