Stacked

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

A NYA

Without saying anything else, I guided Robert through the small hallway and up the steep steps to the room that served as my refuge. We kissed a few times along the way, stopping on this step or the other when our hunger for each other took over. By the time we reached my room, I was almost breathless, my heart struggling to keep pace, my stomach warm, and only one thing on my mind.

Him.

“Here we are,” I said as I pulled him into my simple, private space. The bedroom wasn’t large, but I liked it. A six-paned window overlooked the small backyard. A queen-size bed swallowed the left wall. One end table. A large watercolor print above the bed. An accent wall painted light navy. “I think you’re the first person to see this place.”

“It’s great,” he murmured against the nape of my neck, and I guessed he didn’t take much time to look at the décor.

Besides, I was stalling. Not because I wanted to stop. But because in some dark corner of my mind, I couldn’t believe this was happening. Couldn’t believe Robert wanted me. He could have had anyone, but he’d chosen me.

Why?

And as if he could read my thoughts, Robert pushed me against the accent wall and lifted my chin so our gazes would meet. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” I breathed.

“Sorry for not doing this sooner. For not making sure you know how beautiful you are.”

I laughed. “Nobody says that about me.”

“Only because they don’t see you.” He kept staring at me. “Because you’ve been hiding here in New Burlington for the last few years, locked away inside The Green Frog.”

My stomach clinched. He’s right. “Yes.”

“You don’t have to hide anymore.” He braced his forearm against the wall. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t,” I replied. Is that what I’m offering him right now? Me? Fears, ugly past, insecurities, and all?

“And Anya?”

“Yes?”

“This isn’t just about sex for me. I haven’t been into one-night stands for a while, if I’m honest. I want a real connection with you. I am genuinely thankful that coming back to New Burlington brought me to you. You have made my days brighter. Whether that be in sharing pizza together, arguing, and now, making love.”

Wow. I have never been spoken to like that before.

I searched his eyes, hoping all I saw was genuine honesty. And when I answered, I knew I needed to be just as honest. “I want that too, Robert,” I whispered, hoping he would catch me if I fell. “You’re way out of my league.” He scoffed, so I leaned in and kissed his lips quickly.

“But I don’t want to hide. I want to be with you.”

Robert kissed me again, his lips hungrier, as if something had been unleashed between us, some kind of connection made that felt deeper and more honest than anything that had passed between us before. As he kept his mouth connected to mine, he moved his free hand up the length of my side, tracing the outline with his index finger. A deep heat grew inside my stomach, and I was nearly delirious with desire, wanting desperately to feel every part of him.

His fingers found the large earrings I’d thrown on a few seconds before greeting him at the door. He played with the right one, rubbing it with his thumb. “These are gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” I said.

He dropped it and traced the side of my jaw with his index finger. “I want you to keep them on.”

“Sure,” I murmured.

“But I need you to take everything else off.” He pressed his face against my cheek so I’d hear his next words clearly. “Because I can’t stand to see you wearing this dress anymore.”

The next few moments were a blur. I complied with his request, lifting the dress over my head, and tossing it aside, letting it land in a heap on the floor by the nightstand. Robert took his pants and shirt off too, sending them to the same pile, his clothes mixing with mine as if they’d always done so, as if they were meant to do so. I wasn’t wearing a bra, and he groaned when he saw me standing only in my underwear, a lacy bikini I’d found in the bottom of my dresser moments before I slipped on the gold jewelry.

“I don’t think I can take it any longer,” I said. “I want you right now. Don’t make me wait.”

“Don’t worry, I’m going to.” He bent down and lifted me into his arms. “I’m going to make love to you, Anya. Right now. That’s what you deserve tonight.”

He moved me to the bed and placed me on top of it before crawling to the edge. Carefully, he lifted my hips and pulled off the underwear. For the first time, I was totally naked before him, heat pulsing through my body and desire the only thing on my mind.

Then his mouth met my desire, connecting with my most private place.

“Oh my God,” I murmured once the tingling pleasure of satisfaction took over.

As Robert licked and sucked the most sensitive parts of my body, I moved with him, opening myself to the vulnerability that came with it. My fingers clutched and pulled the duvet cover underneath me as the tension and warmth built inside me, pushing toward a release I hadn’t felt in front of a man in a long, long time. When it finally came, I shuddered in ecstasy before pulling Robert up the length of my body.

“I need you inside me,” I said against his shoulder.

He pulled back and his gaze caught mine. “Do you—”

“In the first drawer on the nightstand,” I replied. “Unless you brought some.”

He grinned. “They’re in the back pocket of my pants on the floor.”

“Mine are closer.”

I angled my body, so he’d be able to reach the condoms that I was still surprised I’d kept, the ones I’d bought months earlier in an act of naked hopefulness one day at the drug store on the outskirts of town. I hadn’t known then that I’d meet anyone worth sharing my bed, but now I had. And by God, I wanted him to share every part of me. And I need him to do it now.

Robert tore into the wrapper and slipped it on in an instant. My heart throbbed in my chest, beating in my ears, and when he parted my legs, I was already soaked with need. He ran the pad of his index finger across the apex of my thighs. “There we go.” He shifted his body, and his hips aligned with mine. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” I murmured, the moment consuming me. “Yes.”

Robert exhaled and pushed into me, going as deep as he could, penetrating me to the hilt. We moved together, twisting on the bed as the tension and pleasure between us grew from a small flame into a roaring forest fire. My thoughts fell away as I gave in, my hands in his hair, my mouth against his shoulder, every one of my senses focused on him and only him.

No, on us .

It was everything I wanted. Intimacy. Everything I needed. Connection. And everything I’d been running from for so long. Contact. It was bliss, surprisingly wonderful bliss.

The following morning, I woke around six, earlier than usual. Robert was still in my bed, sleeping on his back, his left arm stretched over his head, the sheets tangled around his body. I regarded him for a few minutes, letting the laziness of the morning soak in. I didn’t have to be at the store until ten, and even then, I didn’t expect this to be a busy day. It wasn’t unusual for the already sporadic traffic at the store to dry up during the summer, and plenty of people in New Burlington took summer vacations immediately following Independence Day.

Which made this the perfect morning to wake up next to Robert.

Unable to resist any longer, I leaned over and gave him a gentle nudge. He stirred at my touch, and I smiled as he angled his body toward mine. “Hey there, sexy.”

“Good morning to you too.”

“It’s a little after six. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah, I think I got a few hours.” He rubbed his eyes, and the skin around them crinkled. “And that’s probably enough time to recover from last night.”

I shifted closer to him, wrapping my still-naked body around his as I yanked the sheet higher. “Recovery is important, especially after a night like that.”

“I agree.”

And man, did I agree.

I lost count of how many orgasms Robert gave me. I’d never been with such a selfless lover before. And it wasn’t that I had many to compare to, really, but he was so attentive, so fixated on my pleasure. I didn’t know men like him existed. I felt incredible lucky. And sore in places I haven’t felt sore before. We stared at each other for a beat, and I tried to memorize every part of how he looked that morning, so peaceful and comfortable in my bed, warmth radiating from him. I probably didn’t deserve a morning like this, and I certainly hadn’t expected it, but now that it had arrived, I was so grateful.

It was comforting and even empowering to open to someone like him, to allow Robert access to what lay underneath the calcified shell I built after the mugging in Chicago when I decided once and for all the world wasn’t made for someone like me. There was only so much trauma and pain a person could take. The lingering fear was enough and something I hadn’t been able to escape, even with the move to New Burlington. I’d never stopped looking over my shoulder, never stopped expecting the next jump scare to arrive.

Maybe that could stop now. Finally.

“I have something I want to tell you,” I said.

“After the night we just had, you can tell me anything.”

I shifted underneath the sheets, giving myself one more chance to back out. No, I’m not going to. I don’t want to. “That mugging in Chicago... it wasn’t a regular mugging.”

“I don’t think any mugging is regular.”

I nodded. “You’re right, but this one was worse than I said it was.”

Robert cupped my face. “How so? You can tell me.”

I gulped. The last thing I wanted to do with a sexy man in my bed was tell him how gruesome the event really was. I’d rather enjoy him. But I felt I needed to talk about this, and only with him. So... “The guy who robbed me... he pulled a gun on me.”

Robert’s eyes widened, and his jaw went slack. “In the subway car?”

I shook my head. “No, it didn’t happen exactly how I told you. He robbed me on the platform.”

“What?”

“It was during rush hour one afternoon, so there were tons of people there, all of them waiting for the same train as I was.”

I frowned as the memories unfurled in my mind, taking me back to that moment, back to those feelings, back to the second my life went from normal to unsteady. It wasn’t the physical pain that came from being held up or even the initial shock that did me in, though—it was the betrayal of it all. I wasn’t just robbed of my stuff. That man stole my sense of security too, and the people who did nothing only reinforced the reality.

I was alone. Utterly and completely alone.

“So, nobody stepped in? Even in that kind of a crowd? Nobody intervened?”

“Nope.” My answer hung in the air for a beat.

“I didn’t tell you all the details before because it’s so hard to talk about,” I added. “And for some reason, whenever I think about what happened, the fact that I was in the middle of that many people makes it all seem more painful. Like it says something about me, about who I am.”

“It doesn’t,” Robert replied. “You’re not the problem. You’re the victim.”

I winced. “I hate that word.”

“Me too, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re not at fault for what happened to you.”

“I know, but—”

He kissed me softly. “You need to stop shouldering part of the blame, Anya.”

“Thanks,” I said, and nestled deeper against him, my head curling against his chest. “I feel better talking about this with you. Talking about it at all.”

“Do you mean you haven’t told anyone?”

“No,” I said against his dark and thick chest hair. “Not Gwen, not Morgan, and my mom had already passed.”

“This is a lot to have carried around alone.”

“But now I have you.” I lifted my head. “And that makes it easier.”

We kissed again, this time slowly and with care as if he wanted to reassure me with every press and connection of our mouths that no, I was not alone, and yes, he was there for me as much as I needed, now that our whole relationship had changed. I almost lost myself in the warm comfort of his body and could have easily been talked into staying in bed with him all morning, but I knew that was impossible.

We still had commitments. And time was running out.

“Let me go downstairs and make some coffee,” I said. “We at least deserve that much.”

He tried protesting and said he didn’t need anything, but I insisted on going. I was happy to have a task to distract me from the bad memories. I took my robe from a hook in the master bathroom, wrapped the belt around my waist, and padded downstairs.

When I returned a few minutes later, Robert was sitting up in bed, propped against the pillows, staring at his phone, all the color drained from his face.

“Is everything okay?” I asked from the doorway, a cup of coffee in each hand.

He jolted and looked at me. “No, I don’t think it is.”