Stage Dive: Short Stories & Novellas

Cocky

Short Story with Mal and Anne from The Stage Dive Series

“I’ll be taking all of these, thank you, ma’am.”

The redheaded fox behind the counter sized up my stack of books, a pen tapping against her pretty pink lips. “That’s a lot of books.”

“I don’t like to do things by halves. Not my style.”

“Mm.”

“Read much yourself?” I asked, setting an elbow on the counter and leaning in. Just getting comfortable. Also, it gave me a great line of sight for checking out the curves beneath her staid black dress. Very nice. Then again, everything about her was.

With a cute little line between her brows, the babe looked at our surroundings. “I work in a bookstore.”

“Right. Sure.”

“There seems to be a theme going on here.” She inspected my selection. “The Kama Sutra. The Joy of Sex. Sex: How to do Everything. The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. Guide to Getting It On. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. Did you just empty out our sex section?”

I grinned. “Yeah.”

“In need of some help in certain areas, huh?”

“No!” I scowled. Why the nerve of her. “Absolutely not. I’ll have you know, Miss, that I am very much experienced in the carnal secrets and delights of the bedroom. And various other rooms of the house, as required.”

She delicately wrinkled her nose.

“I am,” I insisted.

“Whatever you say, Sir.”

“Why, I’ll have you know a number of young ladies have informed me I should pen a book on the subject. One even insisted that I owed it to the world to do so.”

She frowned at my collection. “So you’re surveying the existing literature to see what’s already out there?”

“Exactly!” I nodded, pleased that she’d seen straightaway what was going on. “Great minds think alike, and it’s possible some of my less outrageous inventions might already have been stumbled upon by some sex aficionado from an earlier age. Unlikely, but possible.”

She seemed to hiccup in response, as if clamping down on a cough.

I detected a hint of skepticism. “Indeed, the fact is…”

This time, her brows rose. Waiting.

“I’m too much for most women.” I puffed out my chest with pride. All of those hours spent sweating my ass off in the gym ought to be good for something. “It’s sad really. A burden of mine.”

“Are you talking about size?”

I nodded. It was the plain God’s honest truth.

“Ego, or…” She jerked her chin in the direction of my crotch.

“Are you calling me arrogant?”

“I don’t recall mentioning that word exactly.”

I tilted my head. “Perhaps you think I’m lying?”

“Perhaps I’m not thinking anything about you at all.”

“Impossible.” I scoffed, flinging back my long blonde hair.

Such golden waves of awesomeness combined with rugged good looks.

Oh, she could pretend otherwise, but I know she got off on it care of the dilation of her pupils.

Women loved me. Some dudes too. When you were this hot, it just couldn’t be helped.

“Who could ignore all of this goodness?”

She just blinked.

I countered by batting my eyelashes at her. Some say my eyes are my best feature. Cerulean blue. Like a pristine lagoon in the Pacific or something like that. I don’t know. It usually worked, but this chick was being difficult.

“Did you just bat your eyelashes at me?” she asked, curious.

“No.” I flexed a bicep. Thank fuck it’d been warm enough to wear a t-shirt.

The cooler months in Portland made it hard to show off my wondrous body.

And seriously, why go to all of the afore mentioned trouble (gym, sweating, pain, etcetera) if not to share it.

Why, it’d just be selfish to keep this all to myself.

She squinted. “Why is your arm doing that? Do you have a tic? You know, they probably have medication for that. There’s a chemist down–”

“I don’t have a tic. I’m just very muscular.”

“Right,” she soothed. “Okay. Got it.”

Thank God the shop was empty. The woman was shredding me.

And to think I’d been so sure this redhead in particular would fall for my wiles.

No, that was quitter’s talk. Sooner or later, with her full enthusiastic consent of course, she would be mine.

Probably. I mean…given my track record, the odds were quite good.

People had always said that my self-belief was one of my defining attributes.

I could not allow her to shake my faith in my delectability. Not happening.

“So, you live around here?” I asked, giving her my best teasing hint of a smile.

Her brows descended. They were so expressive. “Are you coming onto me?”

“What? No.”

“This is outrageous. I’m at work, sir!”

“And I respect that totally. You look very authoritative standing behind that counter. Like a hot naughty librarian.” I grinned again. Only if anything, she looked even more pissed. “Wait, no…ma’am. I mean, like a wizard of words, sharing her bookish knowledge with the world. Yeah. That.”

On a scale of appeased, she rated maybe a five-percent, at best. Shit.

“Why I think that helping people find literature is a wonderful calling,” I continued. “Spreading wisdom far and wide, helping people to expand their minds. I respect you for it big time.”

In lieu of answering, she started tallying up my purchase. Her long sensual fingers stabbing at the buttons as she added up the figures. Such violent motions made her breasts jiggle beneath her dress in a thoroughly beguiling manner. Had the girl not worn a bra? I bet she hadn’t. How awesome.

“You’re ogling me,” my lovely one sniped. “Stop it, please. You’re making me feel uncomfortable.”

“Like in a hot and flushed, turned on kind of way?”

Her mouth formed a perfect o.

“Will you at least tell me your name?”

Her pert nose rose high up in the air. “No.”

“Oh come on. I’ll tell you mine. It’s–”

“Sir, I do not care to know your name.”

“That’s so hot how you call me ‘Sir.’ Do you do that in the bedroom too?”

She gasped.

“Sorry. Just curious.” I tried to look apologetic. But honestly, it wasn’t an emotion I ascribed to in general.

Eyes wide, she just stared. “Why, I’ve never met such an ill-behaved rogue in my entire life. You, sir, are cocky. That’s what you are. And I mean it as no compliment.”

I got in closer. “Did you just say you wanted to see my cock?”

“I bet it’s as small and insignificant as your manners.”

“Is that a yes?”

“No,” she hissed. Then she suddenly seemed to change her mind, her pretty face returning to stern. So hot. “Actually, yes. If only to witness firsthand on behalf of all womankind how inadequate you truly are.”

“Excellent!” I rubbed my hands together. This was exactly how I’d imagined her falling into my arms demanding sexual pleasure. Well, mostly it was.

The woman tapped her foot loudly. “I’m waiting.”

I inspected our surroundings. It was your usual hipster bookshop. Beyond the large plate glass windows, a steady stream of people passed by. Normal for this hour of the day in the Pearl District of Portland. Not exactly the place to whip your dick out unless you wanted the police to come calling.

“I can hardly just get it out right here.”

“Why not?”

“Well, if you must know, my penis is not only unusually large and beautiful. But I’m sort of famous.” I shrugged. “A rock star, actually. Thought you might have recognized me by now, but obviously not.”

She yawned.

“If I get my dick out right here, we’ll have a riot on our hands.”

“I doubt it.”

“Doubt away, but it’s still the truth.” Hands on hips, I faced her down. “I’m sorry, miss. For your and my safety, along with the well-being of all the books in this fine establishment, we’re going to have to take this into the back room.”

With a toss of her shiny red hair, she nodded. “Fine. Whatever.”

“Glad you’re being sensible about this.”

The woman strode out from behind the counter, crossing the shop floor, and flicking the lock on the door. Now we were getting somewhere. It was hard to keep the smirk off my face. I looked really good smirking. “Sure you don’t want to tell me your name?”

“Nope and I don’t need to know yours either. This way…”

I followed her out back to a storage room, mesmerized by the sway of her curvy ass beneath the skirt of her dress. She really was my perfect woman. If only she’d admit it. Though there was a certain delight to be had in a woman playing hard to get. So long as she enjoyed herself too.

“I don’t expect this to take long,” she said, facing me with arms crossed in the crowded little room. Shelves lined the walls, full to overflowing with various tomes and shit. “Oh, wait, I didn’t think to bring a microscope. Am I even going to be able to see it unaided?”

“Haha, madam.”

She smirked. It’s quite possible she looked even better smirking than I did. Dammit.

“Try not to faint or anything,” I said, tearing open the buttons of my jeans. “It’s a bitch to catch swooning women with your pants around your ankles.”

The girl couldn’t have looked more bored. “I’ll do my best to hold it together.”

“You say that now, but many have been overwhelmed by the sight of my naked genitals. Why, it happens so often I’ve basically been declared a hazard to heterosexual women everywhere.”

“Do you always talk like this?”

In answer, I pushed down my black boxer briefs, baring my splendor to the world. Or to her at least. And there hung my dick in all its glory. “See, I even did some trimming for you.”

“That was considerate.” The corner of her lips crept up. “Stay in character. This won’t work if you don’t stay in character.”

“I’m staying in character, you stay in character.”

She giggled, then straightened her shoulders, taking a deep breath. “Oh. My. God.”

“Right? My dick’s amazing, isn’t it?” I happy sighed. “Told you, but no…you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I can’t believe you’d show a complete stranger your goods.”

“Hey now, you act like I get it out for just anyone and that’s not true. You’re special to me. Whoever you are.”

“This is so shocking. I’m shocked.”

“But in a good way, right?” I asked.

“It’s so…”