CHAPTER FOUR #2
He half-smiled. “Martha, my dear, I was fucking furious. But it was neither the time nor place to get into it with all of the guys gathered around.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is…if you were mine, I’d have turned your ass bright pink for what you did,” he said, all scarily matter of fact. “Thinking a handbag was more important than your life.”
My eyes opened wide in surprise.
“What kind of ridiculous shit is that?”
“Guess I’m not as smart as you thought I was.”
“No. You just don’t know how loved you are,” he corrected, his thumb stroking across my cheek.
The man touched me like I was precious. But also like he already owned me and for some reason I didn’t have it in me to disagree.
“For a woman with so much pride, Martha, you have a very thin grasp of your own worth.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Yet what with his hands suddenly grasping my waist and lifting me onto his lap, any attempt at coherency on my part fled the tub completely. Since when exactly did we start sitting on one another?
“At any rate, you and I are going to start doing some self-defense work together,” he announced. “Should anything like it happen again in future, you’ll know how to react. Regardless of what fucking designer handbag you’re carrying.”
“Are you giving me orders?”
“Do you disagree with the idea?”
“Well, no. But you could have asked instead of phrasing it the way you did.”
“I’ll make a note of that for next time. Now,” he said. “I believe you wanted some sort of statement from me as to my intentions.”
“Your intentions?”
Sam lifted the bottle of champagne out of the bucket of ice and topped up my glass.
Next his arms wrapped tight around me before any kind of escape could be attempted.
The man knew exactly what he was doing. But if ever a man was bound to have a plan, it would be him.
“Have a bit more to drink. It’ll make you feel better. ”
“I’m fine. Or I was fine where I was. What am I doing sitting on your lap?”
“You never did like being out of control of a situation.”
“Stop acting as if you know what’s going on in my head all the time. You don’t!”
He chuckled, the sound and the vibration of his strong chest against my side much too pleasant. “Considering I’ve been waiting for you for almost a decade, I think I’ve got a pretty good understanding of what goes in that gorgeous head of yours.”
“Almost a decade?”
“Mm-hmm.” He took a drink from my glass, wrinkling his nose at the taste. “No, I definitely don’t think that champagne’s going to grow on me anytime soon. Anyway, where was I?”
“Almost a decade…”
“Right. So—”
“That’s not possible.”
“Of course it is.”
I shook my head. No one had ever wanted me for anywhere near so long.
David and I had barely lasted half that amount of time before outgrowing each other and breaking up in a spectacularly messed-up fashion.
Though mostly, he’d outgrown me. Left me far behind and largely forgotten.
Or at least that’s the way it felt at the time.
Since then, I’d dated men for a month or two at most. Then dumped them before they could dump me because better safe than sorry and hurt.
Yet with Sam came a strange sense of safety.
He provided exactly the sort of shelter I’d fled New York in search of, if I was being totally honest. The comfort of loved ones, family, and maybe even friends.
Things I hadn’t had for a long time. Things I hadn’t quite been able to provide for myself, irritatingly enough.
But to maybe need someone, to actually make myself vulnerable…
“This doesn’t make sense,” I said in a quiet voice.
“No?”
I shook my head and sipped my champagne. It didn’t make me feel any better. So there, he didn’t know everything. “So if this thing is a decade old, then why are we here now? After all this time?”
“You’ve always been a loner. Self-contained.”
“True.”
“But, I don’t know. It just seems like there’s something different about you, ever since you’ve been back,” he said. “Never struck me before that you weren’t happy with your life, and how it was going…”
“Yes, but ten years?”
“You’re really stuck on that, aren’t you?
Let me explain,” he said, taking a deep breath.
“You see, when I first started to work with the boys, I was all about the job. A lot of people think that’s the only way to do what I do.
Total commitment. Seven days a week around the clock.
Don’t even think of having a life of your own, let alone a relationship.
Which was fine in my thirties. You were still wound up over Davie and needed time to get yourself sorted.
So I put it off. Told myself it was the right thing to do. ”
“Wouldn’t getting involved with me when I was working for them too have been a conflict of interest or something?”
He lifted one big shoulder. “Possibly. But I’m pretty sure we could have worked it out.”
“Huh.”
“Then you up and left, moved to New York. That was a bit of a shock, honestly.”
“Was it?”
“Yeah. Though you still came back now and then. Plus there’d be shows on the East Coast and you’d usually turn up,” he said.
“Thing was, when you were around, you were still angry. All pissed off about David and Ev getting together and being all happy and in love. So obviously, it still wasn’t the right time.
But that’s okay. When it came to you, I was used to being patient. ”
I drank my champagne. David had pretty much written a whole album dedicated to how much I sucked. While we’d both had our faults, I couldn’t exactly say he was wrong. So the less my ex got mentioned the better.
Sam smiled. “Now, however, things feel different.”
“In what way?”
“Well, these days when you see Dave, you mostly just seem awkward and a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.”
My spine snapped straight. “No, I don’t.”
“No? Okay. So I’m wrong.”
“You don’t really believe that. You’re just trying to pacify me.”
“Here’s what I believe…” He took another drink from my glass. “Martha, dearest, I’m not going to argue with you about shit that doesn’t matter.”
I just blinked.
“If you say you’re not worried about being around Dave, then great. I’m delighted to hear it,” he said. “All I care about is that you’re obviously no longer hung up on the guy.”
“Of course I’m not.”
“And then there’s the other thing.”
“What other thing?”
“The part where you haven’t screeched at me to let you go or even attempted to climb off my lap since I put you there a good…oh, I’d say four or five minutes ago now.”
I froze.
“Rather important, don’t you think?”
“I did think about it.”
“Screeching or escaping?” he asked calmly.
“Escaping.”
“But you didn’t.” He pressed a soft damp kiss to my forehead. “Very brave of you, Martha.”
“Why do I always feel like a child throwing a tantrum around you?”
“I definitely don’t think of you as a child.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that. Your huge hard-on is sticking into my hip.”
“Like I said, I’ve been waiting a long time. Just ignore it. God knows, I’m trying to,” he said. “As for the other, you do enjoy a good tantrum from time to time. But I rather enjoy your sharp edges. Keeps me on my toes.”
I finished the champagne and held the glass out for a refill.
“You have tomorrow off, don’t you?” he asked, pouring the bottle with precision. “Because you’re going to have a headache in the morning if you keep drinking.”
I chugged the champagne like a lady. “Fill it again.”
“I am your servant in all things.”
“Bullshit.”
“You’d be bored out of your beautiful brains in under two minutes if I was the sort of man you could walk all over.
” He chuckled. “Maybe less wriggling around on my dick unless you’d like to up the timeline for things happening between us.
I’m amenable. It’s up to you really. Just a polite warning. ”
I froze. “Hold up. The timeline?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you actually just say there was a timeline?”
“What?” he asked, seemingly perplexed.
“Fucking oversized ex-Navy SEAL alpha jerk control freak,” I grumbled. “You have, haven’t you? You’ve actually planned out to the day exactly how you think things are going to go down between us?”
At this, the man seemed to hesitate for once. Wise of him really. “I wouldn’t dare assume when it came to you, my love.”
“Oh, you liar. Let me guess, first a date. Somewhere nice, an intimate evening at a good restaurant.” I tapped a fingernail against my lips. “A few romantic moves, some hand-holding and deep and meaningful looks over dinner maybe. Then bang! Sex.”
“Ah, well…”
“I mean, you might have ideally wanted to wait until date two or three before taking things into the bedroom. But you have been waiting almost a decade as the boner sticking into my side keeps reminding me. So yes, we’ll fuck after the first date.
” I saluted him with my glass of champagne before downing some more.
My throat was so dry and my adrenaline levels high.
It couldn’t be more necessary. “Around about that time, you’ll have a word with the guys to make sure they’re all aware that you and I are together and everyone’s fine with it.
Because you’re all such a well-honed pack of male idiots who’ve been running together for so long. ”
He just looked at me. The man had an excellent poker face. But I could tell…
“Yes, you’ll probably go out for a beer with my brother to start the whole advanced male bonding becoming a family one day thing.
After that, you’ll want us to starting thinking about moving in together, getting our own place,” I said.
Because that’s exactly what everyone else would do.
And it might have been nice to be like everyone else, but I’d never quite fit no matter how hard I tried.
Attempting normal would inevitably end in ruin.
“Then, give it…oh say three months, we’ll go on vacation somewhere nice like Hawaii and you’ll pop the question.
You’ve already saved up for the ring, haven’t you?
Probably even got one picked out somewhere. Admit it, you do, don’t you?”
His lips stayed firmly shut.
“I’m not the only one who’s been paying attention, Sam,” I said. “Get you started and you’re like a robot with a stick up its ass with all of the organizing and planning everything. But I’m neither your job nor a combat mission, buddy.”
“Can you put a stick up a robot’s ass? I guess it depends on the type of robot really, doesn’t it?”
“Shut up. You know what I mean.”
“So you don’t like Hawaii then?” he asked mildly.
“I don’t like being managed.”
“I see.”
“If we’re doing this—” I said, setting my glass aside and wriggling my way off his lap. Because I would wriggle if I damn well wanted to. His arms reluctantly let me go, his gaze tense and watchful. “—and that is a definite if—then I’m in charge.”
“You’re in charge,” he repeated rather more slowly.
“Is that going to be a problem?”
He paused. “Absolutely not.”
“That’s the correct answer.”
Serve him right if I left him hanging. Mind you, it seemed a shame to waste such a magnificent hard-on.
Also, when it came to making skin to skin contact with the man, I apparently had pressing needs.
Seriously urgent ones. And since physical needs were far easier than emotional to deal with, I climbed back onto his lap, straddling him this time.
He immediately gripped my waist, holding me steady all protective-like.
My hands meanwhile smoothed over his very lovely shoulders.
A hungry gaze slid over me, making my pussy tingle.
We’d barely gotten started and he had me all worked up.
Without a doubt, the man had skills. Always nice to know up front that you weren’t wasting your time.
“No more of this timeline nonsense either,” I said, sounding a bit more breathy than I would have liked.
“You’re on top. Understood.”
“Good.” I nodded, grinding against him. Christ. Everything low in me tightened with need, it felt so fucking amazing. Horny was far safer than attempting to deal with heart stuff. “I’m using you for sex and that’s all that’s happening between us right now.”
His brows rose. “You’re using me for sex?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.”
“Is that all you have to say?” I asked.
“Well…always happy to be of service. Whenever you’re ready.”
Nails digging into the back of his neck just a little, I cocked my head. “Is that a dare I’m hearing, Sam?”
“Martha, my love.” His smile, it was pure predator. “You bet it is.”