CHAPTER FOUR
“That’s not funny.”
Adam watched me, calm as could be. “I’m not joking.”
I shook my head. “I get that you’re lonely, but—”
“No. Think about it,” he said, tone adamant.
“I’m not over you, that’s the truth. Not even remotely.
It’s been a year, and every song is still about you.
About us. Even the stuff I’m writing now.
No other woman has gotten to me like you do.
Tonight has made me realize I have no interest in moving on, and I think maybe deep down, you’re feeling that way too. ”
“This may shock and stun you, but I haven’t spent the last twelve months dragging my ass around being the sad girl over you.” I laughed. And it was mostly true. Mostly.
“Not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?”
He sat up straighter and stared me in the eye. “Jill, I’m better than I was. Let me show you.”
“Really? Seems to me you’re still hiding out in bars and making it all about the music.
Which hey, it’s paying off for you, and that’s great.
But what on earth makes you think now is the time to try and start or re-start something?
” I sighed. “You’re about to go to Europe, for heaven’s sake. Shouldn’t you be focusing on that?”
“Come with me.”
Mouth hanging open and eyes wide, I couldn’t have been more stunned if I tried. “W-what?”
“Come with me,” he repeated. “It’s a paid job. My hair needs you.”
I snorted.
“You always wanted to travel. Here’s your chance.”
“I can’t just—”
“You can. Think about it. An all-expenses-paid trip that’ll help develop you professionally in a new area too.” He grinned. “C’mon, this is a great idea, stop making excuses.”
“Stop trying to push me,” I said. “I’m not sure I want to just up and leave everything on your say-so.”
“It’ll all be waiting for you when you come back.”
I took a deep breath. “Adam, I know you’re lonely, but this is a big deal for me. I have a job and an apartment and a life here. What if you change your mind and decide that having me around isn’t the constant party you seem to think it’ll be?”
“You still hate your manager?”
I lifted one shoulder. “Sort of.”
“They still overworking and underpaying you?”
“Y-e-a-h.”
“That won’t happen with me. Martha will find out what a good wage is for this sort of gig and all of your expenses will be taken care of.”
My mouth hung open. He was serious. Deadly so.
“You never did like the neighborhood the apartment is in either. I’ll pay out the lease, or you can with that check. Get a place you like better once we get back.”
I frowned. He had a point about the neighborhood.
“Thing is, this industry is all about the ups and downs. I may not always be in a position to offer you this.”
“Your fans love you.”
“No, they love the latest rock star, that’s all. They love Adam Dillon, whose songs are on everybody’s lips. They love what happened to me. What I did and what I turned into. But that’s not me. And it’s not forever.”
“I don’t know.”
“And this isn’t about me being lonely,” he tacked on.
“Are you sure about that?”
“If anything, being on tour will mean having more people around. It’ll be tiring and busy as all hell, schlepping our asses all over the countryside. But it won’t be lonely.”
“Then what is it about?”
“It’s about making our dreams come true. Me playing my music and you getting to travel. Both of us seeing new places and experiencing new things. This is a fucking great idea.”
“And we’re doing this together?”
“Yes. Together. Would that really be so bad?”
Head buzzing, I faced him. “I honestly don’t know.”
“We can just do it as friends if you want. Or as employer and employee. Whatever you like.”
“Holy shit,” I mumbled, eyes wide. “Are you actually subtly suggesting, in a roundabout manner, that you want to get back together?”
The man just shrugged. “We don’t have to rush into anything. But it’s not a totally bad idea. I mean, we had some good times. We worked well together for a while. Would getting back together honestly be so bad?”
“Holy shit.”
“You already said that.”
“Yeah, well it bears repeating.” I rubbed at my temples. “My brain is overloaded. I’m surprised gory mush isn’t leaking out of my ears. Before today, we hadn’t even talked for almost a year. And now this.”
He waved a hand in an oh-well fashion.
“I think you’re thinking the sex was deep and emotional and imbued with meaning when it wasn’t necessarily any of that.”
“Baby, it was a quick fuck against the fridge.”
“Exactly.”
“I’ll make up for that later if you’ll let me. In the meantime, we were discussing something else that I find to be both deep and emotional.”
“You’ve lost your mind.” I massaged my throbbing temples some more. “The fame has gone to your head. You can’t honestly think us getting back together is a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Where to start…”
“Jill, tell me honestly, has a single day gone by when you haven’t thought of me?” He reached out, cupping my cheek in his big warm hand. “Because I know I never stopped thinking about you. That’s the truth of it.”
Nothing from me.
“I know you like having shit under control, but let’s just roll the dice for once and see what happens. Give me a chance to make everything up to you.”
For a long moment, I just stared. “Oh, boy. I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s alright. Really.” He nodded slowly, studying my face with his serious eyes. “Tell you what, let’s say we sleep on it. Just sleep. No more sex. The sex seems to be freaking you out a little.”
“It’s a lot more than sex with you freaking me out.”
“Tomorrow’s Sunday so you’re not working or anything, right?” he asked.
“Right.”
“No big plans?”
I shook my head.
“Why don’t we spend the day together and see how things go? Make a decision about all of this later when we know we’re not going to immediately drive each other crazy.”
“Maybe I should go home, give us both some space.”
“No,” he said, adamant. “Do that and we’ll lose our momentum. We’re getting somewhere here, don’t you think?”
I frowned.
“Plus, it’s late and we’re both tired. Let’s just crash and see where we are in the morning. You like it here, right?” He smiled and it was so hopeful it broke my heart. “I have a new toothbrush for you and everything. That’s how much of an organized adult I am these days.”
“Impressive.”
“Well, to be honest, Martha actually organized the buying, delivering, and possibly even the putting-away of the toothbrush. But it was totally me who thought to ask her to get it done.” He grinned. “So…what do you say, Jill?”
The plan had merit, I could admit that much. And I was tired and in need of some quiet time so I could catch up with everything. So I could overthink and dissect it all. “Okay. That sounds good.”
I lay on my designated side of Adam’s monster of a bed—linen bedding because…
fancy—staring at the faint shadows on the ceiling.
Beside me, Adam’s breathing was deep and even.
Meanwhile, my mind was a whirl. It would not shut up.
Thoughts of him and me, of Europe, of damn near everything going around and around, making for one big stressful question. What was I going to do?
I wanted to travel.
I think I even wanted to travel with Adam.
But the last time I’d invested in this man, he’d let me down big time. He broke my heart.
The man in question slept on, lying above the sheets, wearing only a pair of dark grey boxer briefs.
He had such nice thighs. Very pleasant to look at.
Which reminded me that when he’d been throwing all of these crazy ideas out there, we hadn’t discussed if I’d be sharing his hotel room or getting my own.
Would we eat meals together? How many hours a day approximately would we spend in each other’s company?
Was dating/living with someone on tour the same as in normal life, or did new and unexpected rules apply?
Such as no girlfriends at the afterparty.
Because if that was the case, he could kiss my round ass.
And what about this whole signing women’s boobies thing?
I was so not down with that. He’d have to give up marking mammary glands or we were dead in the water right here and now.
A strong arm slung around my middle, pulling me back against the long hot length of his body. “Go to sleep, baby.”
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“Shh.” Fingers moved my hair aside, and a kiss was pressed to the back of my neck. Another very pleasant thing. “Everything will work itself out. Go to sleep.”
And the bitch of it was, I did.
Following one of the best sleeps of my life, I woke up to the scent of bacon and eggs.
Never a bad thing to wake up to. Unless you’re a vegan, I guessed.
Adam’s side of the bed was empty, the sheets rumpled.
Hard to tell which was the more intimate act—sleeping together or having sex.
They both required a level of trust. Besides checking the time (almost eleven, yay for an awesome sleep-in!), I didn’t look at my cell.
Whatever had happened overnight regarding the photos of Adam and I, I didn’t need to know.
At least, not before coffee. The truth was, there was nothing I could do about the whole thing anyway.
“Who are you and what have you done with Adam?” I asked as I stumbled on out to the kitchen in my underwear and a borrowed tee promoting some brand of guitar strings.
He stood at the kitchen counter, scraping butter onto some toast—the kitchen counter we’d profaned last night.
I tried to keep my focus on the food and the cooking, but the memories were too fresh.
Whatever else this reunion had in store for us, that was at least a damn fine bit of profaning.
We’d profaned the heck out of that counter.
“I was just about to come wake you. Breakfast’s ready.”
“You don’t cook.”
“I do now,” he said, pushing a plate loaded with fried goodness my way. “I also pick up my dirty clothes and have even been known to do a load of laundry on occasion.”