CHAPTER ONE #2
“You’re telling me.” I traced a gentle finger over the small one’s cheek. Stunned was a great word. It summed up a whole hell of a lot with regards to this situation. “Where the heck did you come from? I don’t understand any of this.”
“Well, Child Bride, I can say with some authority that he did in fact come out of your lady parts.” His smile turned gentle. “You really didn’t know you were pregnant?”
Another tear fell down my face. “I didn’t have a clue. How did I not know, Mal? What am I going to tell David?”
Loud banging came from the front door.
Mal frowned. “I better get that. Stop freaking out. And give him boob. Babies love boob.”
I nodded, transfixed once more by the child’s tiny perfect features. My child. Mine and David’s. I didn’t know if I should cry some more, laugh in a hysterical fashion, or pass out cold. A mixture of all three might be nice. Instead, I just said, “Oh my God.”
David rushed into the private hospital suite just before six the next morning.
His long dark hair was tied back in a ponytail, his long-sleeve tee and black jeans rumpled as if he’d been in them for a day or two.
And I, of course, burst into tears at the sight of his face.
Because this was what I’d been holding out for.
To finally have him here with me so I didn’t have to face this alone.
But also, my hormones were running wild.
“Baby,” he said, rushing over to my bedside. His strong arms closed around me, and for the first time since this all started, I could actually breathe—but guilt still weighed heavily on me.
“I’m a terrible person,” I wailed. “A horrible mother. They shouldn’t even let me be a parent.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s true. I drank coffee. I even had a glass of wine last weekend!”
“And the pediatrician said your baby was a little early, but fine.” Mal rocked said baby over by the window. He gave David a tired smile. “Hey, man. Want to meet your son?”
“My son.” David shook his head. “Fuck. This is…”
“Wonderful,” finished Jimmy Ferris, taking a peek at the little burrito sitting in Mal’s arms. His smile was wide. “Absolutely fucking wonderful. Congratulations.”
David nodded, settling on the mattress beside me.
Necessary because I had a death grip on him and wasn’t letting go.
The last twelve hours may have traumatized me.
He smoothed my messy hair and held me tight, letting me get it all out.
The fear and the pain and everything. I cried until I was empty, and he held on to me the whole time.
Whispering things like, “I’m here. It’s okay now.
You did great. We’re going to be just fine. I love you.”
“We weren’t even going to start trying to get pregnant for another four years,” I said then sobbed my heart out again.
“Hey, baby, listen to me,” he said, voice firm. “I know this isn’t what we planned. But we’re going to be okay.”
Finally, I hiccupped and wiped my face. “Can I have a Kleenex?”
David passed me the box, and I blew my nose with nil decorum. Then I had a drink of water. Then I started pulling myself together, piece by piece. We could do this. We would do this. Together. I’d never been so overwhelmed in my life. But everything would be okay.
With a small smile, Mal brought over our unnamed child. “Look how chill he is. He knows he’s loved and getting looked after. Everything is cool with him. He’s fast asleep and dreaming of milk.”
“He’s so small,” said David, his eyes wide as twin moons.
“Just under seven pounds. A perfectly normal healthy birthweight.” Mal carefully handed him over. “Your boy is all good.”
On account of the four existing second-generation members of Stage Dive, we all knew how to hold babies. Which was lucky.
David stared, entranced by the baby’s face. The man was definitely paler than normal and had dark circles beneath his eyes. His brows sat high, and he kept shaking his head, like he couldn’t believe any of this was real. Join the club.
“They think that due to the placement of the placenta, I didn’t feel a lot of his movement.
And because my uterus is tilted, I didn’t carry him out front so much,” I said.
“I also didn’t get any morning sickness, which can happen.
I was on contraception, so I never imagined that the breast sensitivity was anything more than hormones acting up.
But no birth control is one hundred percent effective, as we’ve now seen. ”
“If you’re not expecting to get pregnant then you’re not going to be looking out for the signs,” said Jimmy with a gentle smile. “I think you’re incredible, delivering your baby at home like you did.”
Mal cleared his throat. “That was mostly me. Doing the incredible stuff…you know. Not to make a big deal out of it or anything.”
“I mean, I went up a size a few months back. But I never imagined it was because I had a baby on board.” I sighed. “We’re so unprepared for this. I don’t even know where to begin. It’s all so huge.”
“Ben and the girls have you covered,” said Jimmy. “Lena was taking all the kids to our place while Anne, Lizzy, and he start rounding up everything you’ll need. That’s why they’re not here now.”
“Everyone turning up at once would have set off the paps,” said David, carefully cradling the baby’s head.
“Damn photographers.” My shoulders sank in relief. “Oh, thank God about the things for the baby. That’s so kind of them to help out.”
“We’re family, Ev. It’s our pleasure.” Jimmy winked. “They said if there’s anything in particular you want ASAP to give them a call. They’re going to set up one of your spare rooms as a nursery. So you should text them if you have any particular colors in mind and care what room they use.”
“Right.” I tried to smile. But after only a couple hours of sleep, exhaustion owned me.
“Or you can worry about all of that further down the line and just let them handle it for now. Whatever you want.”
I nodded. “The second idea sounds seriously good.”
“Then let them have at it,” said Jimmy. “They spent half of the flight back debating the merit of llamas versus sloths for the nursery décor. Helping you out is not a hardship.”
I would not get teary again. I wouldn’t. But it was so nice to have our family together again in Portland.
Meanwhile, David stared in wonder at the tiny hand wrapped around one of his much larger fingers. “He’s really ours.”
“He really is.”
“We haven’t discussed baby names. Not seriously.”
My jaw cracked on a yawn. “No. We haven’t.”
“Mal Junior is still available. Just throwing that out there,” said Mal. “No need to decide right now. Try it out for a few years. See how it feels.”
“We’ll get right on that,” said David, carefully handing the baby over to Jimmy.
The baby let out a cry of displeasure. But as the father of twins, he was skilled at soothing babies back to sleep.
David rose and approached the drummer. “Thank you, man. You were there for them. Helped Ev through it all. I won’t forget it. ”
Mal shrugged. “Geez. Don’t make a big deal out of it, dude. You’re embarrassing me. Now that you’re here, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. Be back later, okay?”
The two men hugged with lots of back slapping. It was a beautiful thing. Then Mal came over and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead.
“Thank you for everything, Mal,” I said.
“Anytime, Child Bride.”
“My son.” David stood beside my bed with the baby in his arms. His hands were curled around the precious bundle with the utmost of care. “This is…I still can’t get my head around it.”
“It’s big,” I agreed.
“Yet he’s so damn little.”
I gave him an unsteady smile. “Everything’s going to change now.”
David’s eyes were wide and every now and then he’d sigh. Like he was once again settling into our new reality. Then an amazed sort of smile would tug at his lips as he stared at his son in wonder. “Have you ever seen anything so tiny and perfect?”
“No. Never.”
“It’s like I want to protect him from everything forever,” said David.
“Yeah.”
The baby waved his little arms and let out a cry.
“Feeding time?” asked David.
“Probably. He just had a diaper change, so…” I got myself into a comfortable position then held out my arms. David carefully passed the baby to me. “I never gave much thought to breastfeeding, but I kind of like it. Just having quiet time to hang out and be with him, you know?”
David sat on the edge of the mattress to watch. Then he leaned in and lifted the end of the baby’s blanket. It had come loose with all of the passing back and forth. With a gentle hand, David counted his toes. “So soft and small.”
“He needs a name.”
David raised his brows. “A name? Right.”
“What’ve you got?” I smiled. “It’s not easy. I’ve been trying to think of something all night and came up with zip.”
“Ah, okay…they were actually throwing ideas around on the plane. I was listening some of the time when I wasn’t quietly freaking out and worrying about you.” He shrugged. “How about Nash? Short for Nashville and your love of all things country music.”
“Good one.” I studied the baby’s tiny face. “What do you think, my sweet boy? Are you a Nash?”
David furrowed his brow. “My son, Nash. Hmm. I’m not sure.”
“I kind of like Reed.”
“Reed? What do you think, buddy?”
Our baby drank on, staring up at me with big eyes.
“I think he only cares about milk,” I said. “How about John? For Johnny Cash.”
“Cool idea. You don’t think it sounds a little old?”
“I honestly don’t know. My brain is a murky mess.
” I thought it over. “It’s not like we need to rush into naming him or anything.
We can get to know him a little better. See what his personality is like and maybe get a feel for the right name.
I don’t think he’ll mind being called baby for a couple of days. ”
David’s wide smile was a sight to see. “Sounds like a plan. We’re doing great as parents. No need to worry about anything, okay?”