Chapter 27
Christian
Lana is in the ensuite bathroom of my New York penthouse finishing her hair and makeup while I button my shirt. I got new, custom cufflinks last month for this. Told myself that the next time I wore a suit or a tux, I’d wear these.
I wanted to wear them all the time.
Silver cufflinks. L on my left. A on my right.
I’ve always liked the way her name rolls off the tongue.
Lana Aurora. When we first started dating and I learned that was her middle name, I remember laughing a bit.
I thought it was cute, maybe because it’s a known princess name.
But when she said it how it’s meant to be said in Spanish with the proper accent, I froze.
Beautiful. Everything about her then was beautiful. And now? Even more so.
From the wide grin on her face as we boarded the plane and sat in our seats, to the way she fell asleep on me almost immediately after we took off, to the soft snores that escaped her in the silence of the cabin.
And once we made it from JFK into Manhattan this morning, I’m almost certain Lana was trying not to stick her head out the taxi’s window to look around the city.
I smooth my hands down my tie and the jacket of my suit, content with my appearance—especially with the way Lana styled my hair for the night.
It’s at a length we both like, not too short at the side and a bit longer on top, combed and slicked back with a light layer of gel.
And my stubble is also at the thickness she likes, coated with a beard oil Lana applied to moisturize and smooth out the hair.
“Lana, baby,” I call out as I strap on my silver Cartier watch.
“I’m done!”
I hear the clicking of heels and turn just in time as she exits the bathroom wearing the ruby red gown that hugs her figure perfectly.
Her hair is parted to the side tonight, the left side tucked behind her ear and the right side voluminous and cascading over her chest. Delicate gold earrings adorn her lobes and her lips are lined with a subtle color and gloss glazing them over.
Lana poses with her smooth leg showing from the slit on the left side of the dress with the black Jimmy Choo’s on her feet. She holds the clutch in her hand with the ring I gave her four years ago and her nails are manicured with her usual color—Ballet Slippers.
Fucking beautiful.
Breathtaking. Ethereal. Celestial.
I don’t know enough words to describe what she looks like. She looks like the last thing I want to see before I die, this angel of a woman.
My heart—I don’t know where it goes. I see her and I forget everything else exists, and that’s how it’s always been.
I knew the moment I saw her I was done for.
Since the first time I saw her, I belonged to her entirely and there was no coming back.
There is no way out, and I don’t want one.
I’d die happily, right now, just knowing I was hers even for a moment.
Knowing she looked at me the way she’s looking at me right now, as if I deserve her love.
She looks like this bright, luminous star—one that I orbit around and will for the rest of my days.
With my hand on my chest, I drop down on the couch and attempt to steady my heart. My heart beats for her.
“You look beautiful, baby,” I breathe. “I… I can’t breathe. You look…”
“You look so handsome,” she says, her cheeks flaming.
“Let’s just stay in.”
Lana smirks and stands between my knees. “Hmm.” She bends to press a kiss to my cheek. “Later,” she whispers in my ear. “Then you can find out whether I’m wearing panties or not.”
I growl and my head falls forward against her stomach, laughing breathily at the torture. “You’re an evil woman.”
“Hmm.”
“I have a surprise for you,” I say.
“More?”
I smirk and pull the two red boxes from under a throw pillow. “Eventually, you’re just going to have to accept that I’m going to spoil you for the rest of our lives.”
I remove the clutch from Lana’s hand to properly give her these gifts. “You look so beautiful, Lana.”
Her hand comes to my cheek, her thumb tenderly caressing the bone. “I love my gown.”
I smile. “I’m hoping you’ll love these too.”
Her gaze narrows. “Christian…”
“This one first.” I open the long, rectangular red box and unveil the gold Cartier Essential Lines diamond bracelet.
Lana gasps, shaky fingers covering her mouth. “Christian, this is…”
I remove the delicate piece of jewelry from the box and reach for her right arm to secure it around her wrist. “Do you like it?”
“Christian, I— I don’t—” Lana twirls her wrist slowly, taking in the piece of jewelry with glossy eyes. “I—I love it. I—” Her eyes flick down to mine. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, baby.”
Lana bends to kiss me softly and long until I have to pull back. “There’s one more, babe.”
She sniffles and I stand, towering over her gorgeous frame. “I can’t take anymore than this, Christian.”
“Last one,” I promise and open the bigger box. And she gasps at the Cartier Essential Lines diamond necklace in rose gold.
“Christian.”
I smile. “Turn around, baby.”
Sniffing, she gives me her back, and I carefully place the necklace around her neck. “I know they say diamonds are a girl's best friend but, Christian, this is…”
I kiss her shoulder. “It’s perfect. Let me see you.”
Lana turns slowly, her fingers brushing over the diamonds around her neck. “Christian, this is too much.”
“No, it’s perfect,” I breathe. “You’re so beautiful, Lana.”
“I love you.”
“I love you,” I mumble, pressing my lips to hers. “Let’s stay in.”
“We can’t.”
“Why not?” I part her lips with my tongue. “It’s a stupid party.”
Lana chuckles. “I’ll keep the diamonds on later…”
I growl against her mouth. “Yes.”
She snickers. “Come, we should go.”
“Wait.” I hold onto her wrist and she comes back to me. “Are you sure?”
Lana tilts her head, her hands remaining on my shoulders instead of sifting through my hair. “About what?”
“Going to this,” I say. “We don’t have to. I hate almost everyone there and some of them are—”
“Hey, it’s fine.” Her hand comes up to my cheek. “I’ll be fine, I’m worried about you.”
“Why me?”
Lana sighs and gives me a look. “I’ll kick someone's ass tonight if I have to.”
I laugh and kiss the corner of her mouth. “I’m fine too, baby.”
Lana takes my hands in her small ones. “Then let’s go,” she says, smiling. “We have a lot of water and soda to drink tonight.”
I snort and follow her out the door. “The limo is downstairs.”
Lana stops short and turns to gape at me. “What.”
“What?”
“A limo?”
“Yes?”
Lana blinks, still gaping. “I’ve never been in a limo before…”
A smirk pulls at my lips. “Maybe I can find out if—”
“Nope.” Lana smiles. “I’m sticking my head out the sunroof. Let’s go.”
I wish I knew a way to convince Lana to go back to the penthouse with me. Not just because she looks like a goddess that I’m following around like a salivating dog, but because there is a pit in my stomach hollowing out as we step off the elevator to the floor where the event is being held.
The limo ride involved my leg bouncing up and down and my hand gripping on Lana’s thigh—needing to touch her to breathe easier. Eventually, Lana kissed me long enough to distract me, careful not to ruin her makeup, and landed on her knees on the limo floor to distract me.
“This is fancy,” Lana muses.
A server comes toward us holding a tray with long flutes with bubbly liquid. “Champagne?”
Lana shakes her head, her hand holding my bicep tightening. “No, thank you,” she says, and he goes on to other guests. “I’ve never been somewhere with champagne on a tray before.” She bounces her eyebrows. “Your job is kind of fancy.”
I snort. “I still wonder how no one knows what I do for work.”
Lana laughs. “Information systems and cybersecurity. I’m pretty sure I'm the only one who does.”
“None of the guys do,” I mumble.
“That’s because they don’t care about the job or the money, baby. They care about you—their friend.”
I nod. I know she’s right. They’ve never asked for favors or handouts like most people have. I have friends, I have Lana—and they’re my family. The best and most real people I’m lucky to be surrounded by.
I’m beginning to think that coming back to New York for this was the biggest mistake.
But I try to push that out of my head because Lana’s hand is wrapped around my bicep and I’ve got the most gorgeous girl in the world on my arm.
I’m not one to show off, aside from the McLaren maybe, but Lana?
Fuck, I want to build her a solid gold pedestal and a throne to match just so I can kneel before her.
She humbles me because I don’t know what I have done in this lifetime… Nothing I’ve ever done warranted this—having her in my life and having the privilege to love her the way I do. And for her to love me back?
I suppose life is one big joke sometimes, isn’t it?
One day you’re in rehab after overdosing on something you can’t remember taking, getting your stomach pumped, and then you’re…healed. Or healing.
It doesn’t happen like a miracle or over night, and isn’t a prayer that’s answered because healing doesn’t happen that easily.
It never does. The path of healing is a rollercoaster.
It’s climbing mountains, rolling down them, then climbing back up with no rope or harness—just bare, blistered hands pulling you up.
I’ve climbed that mountain. And I’ll keep climbing that mountain, with her by my side, screaming, you can do it. And I will do it.
“Are you okay?” Lana reaches up and kisses my jaw. “You look like you’re thinking too much.”
I nod, swallow thickly, and walk further into the party. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Are you sure? We can show our faces, say hello, and go home to watch The Office,” she says.
I shake my head. “No, baby, it’s okay. We’ll stay for a bit.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, babe, I’m sure.”
Lana squeezes my arm.
“Do you want something to drink from the bar?” I ask in her ear.
She releases my arm and pats my chest once with her hand. “I’ll go.”